| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/24/2009 11:55:50 PM | Hey,
A few weeks ago I as added as a favourite by this girl. I was talking to her for 2 weeks later before I asked her out for coffee, she wasn't online for a while but then she did tell me she was sick but suggested next week.
I do check this site from time to time, I had noticed the following week she removed her account. I asked her out again she said maybe again because she needed to see a friend.
A few days passed and I have asked her since she said maybe if she would still be able to. She said I was being pushy, I did apologize and afterwards we were talking again. Just last week she was not online at all, I sent an email asking if she was still interested in going out. She said that she had health problems and is not sure if she wants to continue.
I think she removed me from messenger and with having very little luck on this site, I can't say it does not hurt.
To be honest, it was a lot easier when I was in highschool. I am not used to online dating and I prefer not to go this way since it is the internet and plus, it is so easy for your messages to be interpreted in a bad way. I do want a relationship but I am stuck in a 2 year computer course with this as my only feasable option. I also find the girls are pretty defensive when it comes to sites like these because there are so many creeps out there, which is understandable.
Also, I rarely get a response back and have never actally met someone in person off this site, which does not feel all that good. No I never send those "hey baby" messages, I actually put some thought into it after reading her profile. I do try to send as many as I can when I have the time to improve my chances.
So out of curiousity, I have a few questions...
1. What did I do wrong, if I did anything wrong (Was it just circumstance)?
2. Am I that unnatractive (I don't think so myself)?
3. How do I do this right (What is the best time to ask her out)?
4. Any advice in general?
Advice from girls, preferably my age would be appreciated, sorry guys I can't really use your advice since you are here to begin with.
- Thanks!!! | |
|
Rush™
|
Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 2 | |
| |
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 12:09:48 AM | | girls on this site are picky,the sooner you learn that the better off you will be | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 12:22:15 AM | Exactly my point, I'm sorry but if you were planning to give me some better advice instead of treating me like a kid because of one word this proves the fact that my words are interpeted in a completely different way by women (if you like).
This is the biggest downfall of online dating. Guys, no matter how hard we try cannot be as careful with our words.
You see me as a kid because of one word, no offense. | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 12:36:02 AM | Thanks, I do understand that going out there is the best way however I am drowning in school work. with pretty much only one day to myself. I am actually hoping to find someone as busy as me in a similar sitution.
It's really the situation I am in that put me here, I'm thinking of tranfering to univerity instead of continuing at a technical institute simply because general studies such as history and literature is a requirement and would give me more time with less courses.
At my school the cut that out and every single course of my 6 courses are all computer related and all required to be taken 6 at a time.
- Thanks for your advice! | |
|
| |
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 3:05:43 AM | She wasn't into you, simple.
The cardinal rule of dating is to not appear desperate and you breached that policy,
My advice to you is to ask a friend who knows how to read women, yeah sometimes they can steer you wrong but at least they know when the effort is a losing situation.
~Cheers | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 4:12:27 AM | Look you're a cute young guy....with obviously zero experience in getting rejected. Guess what? You're going to have to get used to it. Rejection is party of life. And dating is not as easy as it seems.
She didn't mind chit chat with you, but didn't want to meet with you. End of story. She put you off, when someone does that repeatedly it shows they have little interest in you. All you can do is keep trying.
And stop beating yourself up. This was obviously the not right person for you. She couldn't even be up front about her lack of interest. | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:14:30 AM | | OK, I'm not in your age range, I'm a lot older, have experienced rejection from time to time. It's never fun but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, at least that's what I've been told. Anyway, forget about this particular person, she's not available, she's wishy washy, move on. No, you didn't do anything wrong, she should have been more direct with you. Some people want to spend forever in cyberspace, flirting and what not but when it comes to the nitty gritty like "let's meet up", they can't handle it. I haven't had much luck with internet dating, things seem to go better in "real life". But I enjoy the forums. I hope you get more time in your busy schedule for dating and good luck with your education. | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:25:06 AM | Did you do anything wrong?
She told you straight up that you were too pushy, right? Well, there's your answer | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:31:15 AM | She was sketchy and too much of a twit to just tell you she wasn't interested. She probably didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Anyway, just move on. Plenty of girls out there looking for a decent guy to meet up with for coffee. You can't let these things break your heart or your resolve. | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 6:07:34 AM | OP
if after the second 'ask' she doesnt give you a yay or a nay
take it as a rejection...
you're not the only person that's tooooooooo busy to socialise in the real world, but if you use your busy ness as an excuse, girls may question how much time can you actually spare for them.... and whether you're worth pursuing.... | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 6:56:09 AM | Seems to me that you don't have time for dating. You seem to be putting alot of time and talk into this girl who obviously is making a very polite ( not very effective ) rejection.
My suggestion is to take your one day and decide how many hours you want to spend with a girl on that day. Then spend only that amount of time browsing, chatting, emailing, and Thinking about "getting a date". When you find one who is interested, ask her out for coffee the following week. Let her know right off the bat about your comittment to school and that you only have this one day each week right now. Spend your other time on your homework and don't fret about girls. | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 2:25:03 PM | there are many bit*hes in life...and i have dealt with PLENTY
so i could imagine how many bit*hes can't find a man......so there must be a good amount on this website...
don't swaet it..Give it patience | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 3:17:14 PM |
Advice from girls, preferably my age would be appreciated, sorry guys I can't really use your advice since you are here to begin with.
I guess it makes sense to ask the fish why they arnt biting, rather then ask the successful fisherman in the next boat, what lure he is using. | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 4:02:40 PM | Based on what you wrote, you contacted this woman 4 times in about a one month period. She is not into you at all based on her excuses. If a guy removed his profile and I didn't hear from him, I would assume he met someone else and would not contact him.
She told you that you were pushy the 3rd time you still asked her out yet you asked her a out a 4th time. This just reeks of desperation. If a woman is truly interested in you she will not have excuses of "being sick", "visiting a friend" and she will contact you to keep in touch. | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 4:06:23 PM |
I guess it makes sense to ask the fish why they arnt biting, rather then ask the successful fisherman in the next boat, what lure he is using.
Wow, that was deep and philosophical!  | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 4:17:23 PM | I think she removed me from messenger and with having very little luck on this site, I can't say it does not hurt.
Sometimes it takes a lil bit of time. This isn't a catalog or drive up window where you can order up the girl you want. Maybe go to Amsterdam for that? She was trying to be nice to you and not hurt your feelings. You took her reply to your contact as interest in you. If she keeps making up excuses, then she's trying to let you down easy without really saying it.
I don't know if you are attractive because I don't see 20 year old boys that way.
On this site, most girls in your age group are going to want an older guy. I would suggest looking off line. I personally don't understand why such young people (girls or boys) are on this site. I'm sure your schools have 100s or thousands more people right in your reach that you aren't even paying attention to. This isn't my*space or fb. It's not a networking site. It's a dating site. You will get rejected because of that reason. I'm not here to collect friends, even though the forums are great. I'm looking for someone I can possibly start a romantic relationship with.
Anyway, good luck to you. | |
|
| Have I done anything wrong?
Posted: 3/25/2009 4:46:10 PM | IF you work on you ....The day will come when your self assured and have some confidence and you won't feel like you have to walk on egg shells with woman.
Don't ever expect to hear the answer to a prayer from where you think your going to get it. If you close off your ears to the messengers because of age, or anything else you might miss the exact key you need to open doors. It sounds like you are not only closed minded about getting advice you are about your situation too. | |
|
Home
login 
Perhaps, you'll take milk, and cookies?
