| | Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | Okay, this site is really starting to make me mad. It seems no matter who I message, they do not reply. I have heard this problem is not uncommon. But I messaged 18 women over a period of 48 hours, trying different approaches to get just one of them to talk. Nope. Now I've noticed theres tons of forums and events geared towards people 30 years old and up, yet none geared towards 20 year olds... All the pof events have older people going to them so, whats the point of me going? So I have two questions. First, how do I get people to reply to me? I'm not looking for sex or friends with benefits... but even that doesn't make anyone want to talk to me. Second... Are ther any events from this site, for 20 - 30 year olds? It makes me wonder if the people on this site are even real. | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 2:08:47 AM | OP, you know all those events that many people in their 40's & 50's go to? Why not attend the events & get to know some of those older people? I've danced & hung out with several 19+ year olds at events & if I had a daughter, I can think of two awesome guys I would have hooked her up with.
If these 'older people' get to know you & like you, they just might introduce you to their 20+ year old daughters. So increase your networking field & start socializing with all ages 'cause you will likely meet gals your age through hanging out with the older ones. <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
... but watch out for the cougars who might just want to keep you for themselves. 
I mentioned on another thread that when you place an ad in the newspaper or magazine for your business, a 4% response rate is considered pretty darn good. Just think of this as a business & the product you are selling is yourself. 4% = 4 people out of every 100 you contact. Continue emailing but put yourself out there as well & remember that your special gal will come along when she is meant to come along.  | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:39:54 AM | OP
I just had a quick peek a your profile. The last two paragraphs of your description might be considered to be whiny and negative. Get rid of that. The ladies don't like that kind of stuff.
Stick to being positive, and write positive, courteous members and maybe that will work.
It you are writing to the hawt chicks that have on the favourite lists of 100's of other men you need to stand out above the competition.
Don't get discouraged so early.
Good luck! | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:45:22 AM | http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum94.aspx
^^first,profile reviews... yours need tweaking, trust me
second, you'll find the 20 yr olds in other forums (sex, dating,etc) , not the provincial ones..... especially not here with a few exceptions that contribute their own humble opinions and thoughts we all appreciate
you see comments by any of them .. contact them with your own comment, strike a convo based on forum topics
this is called networking as FAS above mentions... very crucial
third, as noted above, change your approach from trying to hook up via messaging to just plain old striking up conversations
after all.. the best is always built on friendship.. eh? <----- proof i'm canadian
fourth, there are some 20-30 yr olds beyond your screen (points out your window)) hint hint | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 8:10:42 AM | | In addition to the above, don't rule out hanging with guy buds. My son who is just a little younger than you, was finding it hard to meet girls, cause between work and school, he didn't have a whole lot of time left, but one of his buddys convinced him to take time out and dragged him to a party and lo and behold, he met his g/f there, a year and a half ago! | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 8:19:15 AM | OP, I agree with the above posters , your profile needs some fine tuning.
The mail response "problem" is the normal condition for dating websites and it seems not a matter of how old you are. Don't despair.
We may debate the courtesy issue , internet anonymity, unrealistic expectations or any of countless other reasons, but that will not change anything.
I have discussed the possibilities of events for the younger 20 to 40 crowd with other hosts who also agree that may be a good thing. We are still looking at the possibilities. Finding a right venue is more difficult and for us older hosts the trouble is we do not attract the 20-40 crowd.
Perhaps someone younger should come forward with some ideas and I'm sure any one currently hosting will be happy to help out. | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 9:59:19 AM | I've been to several pof get-togethers, and it's been a blast. True, I'm usually the "baby" of the crowd, but it's fun to just go out and network with the others.
I have met a few girls around my age bracket off of here, and some of them have become really great friends!! I'm not being TOO serious on here just yet, so I'm not looking to "jump" into anything immediate. But just start off as friends with the girls and see what may come from that.!!! | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 10:58:44 AM | I wouldn't have responded to you either. Your profile is screaming whiny, desperate, bitter.
Get rid of that header, and the last 2 paragraphs. They make you sound incredibly bitter and negative which is such a huge turn off.
I'm curious to how you'd behave even if you went to a get-together, and whether that attitude would come though in your interactions. If it did, it's even more unattractive in person.
I think maybe there are some issues at play that you need to deal with first, before you look for anyone to spend time with.
ETA: Don't put the fact you're a virgin on your profile. That's something that's relatively private and should be discussed with someone you're interested in more intimately. It being there, only reinforces the desperate overtones of your ad. | |
|
| |
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 11:45:55 AM | Don't put the fact you're a virgin on your profile.
Yeh, what she said.
This should really go in the profile review section, but anyway, here's a bit of Girlfriend-finding 101: Appearing needy is fatal. When you don't need a girlfriend or particularly care if you have one, then you'll find it a lot easier to meet women. Ironic, isn't it? It's a game you can't win by playing.
On events: the thing is, the events themselves don't seem particularly aimed at older folks. Probably 20- and 30- year olds would go except that they can see there's an older crowd already showing up. So if you want a "younger crowd" at an event perhaps the only way to do it is an outright age limit. | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 12:02:38 PM | | *licks her claws and shrugs* So sue me: I'm honest and I don't believe in beating around the bush. Better that someone tells him point blank than coddling him and reinforcing his behavior. | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 1:11:31 PM | Not that mine profile is much more better then his, butt yea.. try humour, lighten up a little... Stick a pic of your bum on it!! lol
Can't speak for the ladies.. but i would nix the virginity thing, then never had a relationship thing, the wanting to be in a realtionship thing, the never had a response thing and um... the whole doesn't amtter if yer married, bf/gf thing as well!! Why not just just cut and paste mine and change your name!! Might work a little better!!! No thanks needed!!! | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 1:52:37 PM | OP if you survived reading Halokitty 's first post and you are still breathing you may just have a chance.
I must agree with her though, political correctness and beating around the bush usually don't help much and may indeed lead to leaving you lost by yourself wondering.
Aside from the obvious lack of responses you may also attract a type of person that may not be who you are looking for or need.
Take the advice to heart and re-write.
Best of luck | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 3:43:56 PM | OP, I've been in three long-term relationships with guys who didn't lose their virginity 'til they were 24/25 years old. Nothing wrong with it ... in fact I admired their decision to wait until they found the right relationship before letting go of their virginity. But, they didn't publicize it right off the bat in their initial introduction & told me only after the first few dates. There are many ways to let readers know that you're not a player & that you're loyal in relationships without stating that you're still a virgin, so find another way to get this message across.
Your headline is supposed to be catchy & draw people to your profile & I agree with other posters that your headline makes it sound like you have a miserable attitude ... not going to catch any fish with that bait so change it. And when you rewrite your profile, try to focus more on selling your personality, what you have to offer a relationship & what you're seeking instead of talking mainly about how much it sucks that you're not getting responses .... blah blah blah. Be more upbeat ... a little humour can't hurt either, but always be honest in your profile.
When you do eventually start dating, don't be so quick to jump her bones to devirginize yourself. Take it slow & get to know her first because then the sex will be so much better. When you feel comfortable after 2 or 3 dates, you might want to tell her that you're still a virgin so she won't think that you haven't made a move because you find her unattractive or have a sexual problem. This way, when you are ready to move on to the physical, she'll understand if you need a little instruction here & there & might take on the role of teacher. Just try to be a good student. | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 3:47:49 PM | Just read your profile.....................
The opening line next to your nic is disturbing.
I would hope you take the critique here seriously...and make some changes.
If you like you can ask for help. I have modified many profiles for pple here on POF...and I am sure others would help you out.
It's all about marketing yourself the right way and keeping it positive.
KISS formula works too = Keep It Simple Stupid
good luck...and check out the forum here for help on profiles. | |
|
| |
| |
Xavery
| | Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 6:31:44 PM | | There is a slight problem with your profile OP. You make your self sound undesirable in your headline that states you have never had a single reply from anyone here. Perhaps you give too much personal information in the first paragraph of your profile. Try revising your profile. | |
|
Arc0n
| | Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 19 | |
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:44:57 PM | Dude, your profile needs a whole re-do. You say you're self emloyed, well when you promote your business do you do it in a whiny, negative way? Of course not - you put your best foot forward and make people want to buy your product/service. Well your profile is the same, except it is yourself that you're advertising. Now, women tend to read your profile before they read your message, and if your profile stinks (like yours does, sorry to say), I wouldn't be surprised if you had a whole outbox full of unread/deleted. Work on how you present yourself - maybe that will turn your experience here into a positive one instead of a negative, frustrating one.
Peace. | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:52:17 PM |
Now, women tend to read your profile before they read your message - Arc0n
Nope, I read the message first, then go read the profile, then read the message again ... then reply with a yay or nay. | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:55:29 PM | Ok youngin.... listen up you are getting a million dollar lesson for FREE (you will have to pay for the "serious" gold star response however.)
Women are mysterious and somewhat messed up.
They say they want a good man (boy in your case) but what they will be attracted to is the a$$holes. Women want mystery. They require a "challenge". If they feel you are "easy prey" or damaged... they will continue their hunt.
The easiest way to "get" a woman is to LIE, or say NOTHING at all. They absolutely love it when you appear to not care. The less you care... the more they desire you...
Here is what you have to do.
Doctor your photo's to make you look like one of the following;
A Cowboy
A Bike Gang member
A Successful entrepreneur
A Chippendale’s dancer (skip that, they are all gay)
An asshat
Someone else... Lots of people do that here. Doesn't matter, they will LOVE you when they meet you anyway....
Then, write a profile that includes virtually nothing. Say things like:
Yah, maybe YOU can take me out.... WHEN I AM NOT BUSY.
Please send a pic of your mother when writing me.
Sorry if I don't respond to you right away (or ever) because I am too busy practicing # 80 of the Karma Sutra...
Wait 8 weeks to respond to any mail you get.
@#!&&%)($@)(!@)_#%{}@}#
You will have to pay for the rest | |
|
Xavery
| | Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 22 | |
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 8:07:06 PM | ^LOL
And the reason I laugh is that there is some truth in this. "Dude" . . . you should seriously reflect upon the 2 posts above. The biggest turn off is seeming needy and you seem a little needy. You should shake this off fast. As advised, if you cannot say anything that does not make you sound needy, do not say anything at all. I think women should follow this advice, too. Don't smother people or grow around them like clinging ivy.
@#!&&%)($@)(!@)_#%{}@}#
You will have to pay for the rest
Actually, I think I am done, but the poster I have quoted might be able to continue. LOL | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 8:14:04 PM | | Okay, to everyone that replied. Thank you.... Now I would like to make a few things clear.... First of all, to all you who said my profile needs a re-do.... I have been on this site for about 3 years now and I have tried, many many different approaches... I have re-written my profile many times. The reason my profile is like it is now, is because no matter what I say in my profile, I still don't get replies. Secondly, I state that I am a virgin, because if I don't, women don't understand why I don't make moves. So I say it right off the bat, instead of beating around the bush, and not knowing how someone feels. Also, many women find virgins at my age a turn off. So I like to lay it all out on the table. I'm an honest person and I am not needy or desperate. I actually have no issues at all. I'm a normal guy, my problem is meeting people. I own a business so I work alone, not a whole lot of time to go out and meet people. As for profile approaches, I have gone from, happy and optimistic, to honest to and to the point, to being as vague as possible, and being funny and charming, and none of those approaches got me responses. If you read some of my old profiles, even you guys here would agree they were good. So now my profile is bitter and negative simply because I'm fed up of getting read deleted every single time. I have tried every approach that I'm capable of, and whats funny is, I see all these womens profiles looking for a nice guy, and thats what I am.... and they read delete.... No wonder they can't find one. | |
|
| Where are 20 - 30 years old supposed to meet?
Posted: 3/25/2009 8:26:23 PM | You asked for advice. Several people took the time to look at your profile and freely give you the best advice they could think of.
What you do with it us up to you.
Your negativity might bite you in the ass someday.
Good luck.  | |
|
| |
Home
login 
