| cant get over it
Posted: 3/27/2009 7:07:48 AM | | i met the girl of my dreams a little over two years ago she was so special two me her and her two kids,i would have done anything to be with that girl. no ones perfect and i made some misttakes.i got jealous a lot cause she always would talk to other guys and i could never get her to stop. she said she never cheated but i am not sure, we did so much fun stuff together and i wanted to be with her every minute of the day i could have talked to other people and maybe not care as much but i needed only her kove. she broke up with me fou months ago she wanted to date other people it hurt so bad like i lost everything i couldnt think couldnt do anything and i can never get her off my mind. i got mad and said some mean things and she will not even speak to me and she was my best friend we would lay up all night just talking, sometimes i dot know how i will eve be able to move on. i want to meet someone else its been 4 months i am just so nevous bout gettin hurt and not sure if their are any good girls left | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/27/2009 7:20:50 AM | You're controlling and insecure. You need to get that in check ASAP, otherwise, you'll have the same problem in ANY relationship you may find yourself in.
Honestly, I don't blame her for breaking up with you. It's surprising to see she stayed with you that long. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/27/2009 7:54:45 AM | I agree with Irish Eyez,, this is what ruins most relationships,, jealousy & insecurity is a major problem,, you say she was your best friend, you say you use to lye awake at nights talking for hours, you had all this & yet you let it slip just because she was talking to other people... Well if one good thing has come out of this, its that you have learned the hard way,, next time round think beofre you act,, i do believe the people that point the finger in this life at others & acuse them of things ,are the ones with the problems, not the one your pointing your finger at..  | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/27/2009 8:02:34 AM | | there is a lot more like sendin pictures of yourself half naked to guys u used to date is that insecure how bout some guy stays at ur house that u slept with a month before we started talking, how bout going out with guys, and even more how bout having abotions, dont get me wrong i was jealous but she made me that way, this i think is the problem relationships are based off trust and no matter how much i loved her and thought she was special or stopped beiong jealous i could not deal with my girlfriend dating other people dont need anyone like that their are real woman out there and if u need to cheat and go out with other guys ur not one of them | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/27/2009 10:21:32 AM | Think of it this way, if you can:
The girl of your dreams would NOT send naked pictures or make you jealous or push your buttons.
So, she really wasn't the girl of your dreams, right?! | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/27/2009 10:32:27 AM | Uuuum jealousy is a feeling that you can overcome! You can't pin it all on this girl saying she "made" you jealous, you CHOSE to react that way!
Another thing, who the hell are you to come on here and air her dirty laundry? Thats her business to share not your's! If she did all these things that was her choice, and it was also your choice to accept her behaviors and stay with her!
Give your head a shake man, there are plenty of "good girls" out there FYI! | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/27/2009 4:02:35 PM | | why do people involved them selves in toxic relationships, Its like asking for a kick in the head with a frozen boot, both of you have more issues than penthouse magazines, either get help for your issues or continue with on with you bitterness and unresolved issues. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/27/2009 4:18:11 PM | OP
Four months, it seems a lifetime doesn't it?
Jealousy DESTROYS relationships...
If you were mean and insulting, How about apologizing to her, let's see perhaps in the form of a letter?
Too soon to embark in another relationship, you might find that you care still for your
ex, and then what happens to the new girl? | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/27/2009 4:29:25 PM | We are all individuals..............INDIVIDUALS....when we want to bond...we tend to GLUE oneself onto the person they choose to be with. This is what we calling "Smothering"....
Sometimes it can be dangerous and lethal....
Every human being has a right to "me space" .."me time"
If this lady was chatting with other men...you should have gotten the HINT right away that she had not BONDED with you and likes attention from other people.
What your feeling is the reminants of a BOND ...YOU created..it is broken. Left a hole in your spirit.
My advise is to get involved in a bowling league, racquetball, hit the gym..run it off on the treadmill or in the weight room....eat right..and stay away from alcohol. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/28/2009 11:26:54 PM | Once you're over the grieving process, you'll thank your luck stars you aren't still with her. It sounds, from all that you've written here, that you had lots of good reasons to be jealous. Your story reminds me of the guy I went out with for two years, starting when I was 18. He let one girl put her hands all over him, in front of me, without telling her to stop. Numerous other young women would visit him in his dorm room, until all hours of the night, to tell him their problems. No wonder I was insecure in this relationship! Unfortunately, I didn't have very high self-esteem, otherwise I would have told him to take a hike.
What a waste of two years, when I should have been out checking out and dating other young men. Not only that, but the friends we shared thought I had a jealousy problem and that he was blameless, so they didn't have much respect for me or take me very seriously as a person. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/29/2009 7:16:01 PM | Dude, why did you stay with this girl if she was pulling all this horrible shit on you? Why on Earth would you sit around and allow yourself to be disrespected by someone who is sending half naked pictures to exes and letting former f*ck buddies crash at her place?
If this girl was doing all of this awful stuff you claim, then you're just as much at fault as she is because you stayed in this situation rather than manning up and telling her where she could stick it.
On the upside, this girl was not some flawless angel sent from Heaven. It was the thoughts and feelings YOU put into her that made her seem that way. Afterall, you said it yourself in your first post.....
no ones perfect
So there are plenty of other women out there that you'll find just as amazing. I promise.
By the way, did you say this girl was having abortions? Like on a regular basis? Did I read that right? | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/29/2009 10:29:35 PM | OP
learn to trust others by trusting yourself first
your jealousy is a result of your inability to trust the woman you're with
unless your over the jealousy, your next relationship/s will be haunted by your fears of insecurity and lack of trust.... don't put yourself through that again. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/29/2009 10:44:05 PM |
there is a lot more like sendin pictures of yourself half naked to guys u used to date is that insecure how bout some guy stays at ur house that u slept with a month before we started talking, how bout going out with guys, and even more how bout having abotions, dont get me wrong i was jealous but she made me that way, this i think is the problem relationships are based off trust and no matter how much i loved her and thought she was special or stopped beiong jealous i could not deal with my girlfriend dating other people dont need anyone like that their are real woman out there and if u need to cheat and go out with other guys ur not one of them
Whoa. That's some real bad stuff goin' on there. She dumped you? No, she did you a favor, move on, trust me you'll live. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/31/2009 12:27:29 PM | Dear Op;
What you are experiencing is Love Sickness. The rest of you don't laugh. It is a real condition, I should know, I'm trying to overcome myself! Look it up, it causes obsessive behavior that makes you look controlling when you Know you aren't. I fell in love with a married man (yes, yes, shame on me! ) but I had never fallen this hard before and really didn't like how it was making me feel. I looked it up on the internet; Cosmopolitan has a very good description of Love Sickness and the problems it causes. All caused by chemicals in our brains. It's going to be hard to get over it. Everyone else on this thread has pointed out her faults. I'll bet you saw all that too but didn't care, you just wanted to be with her, maybe even thought she'd change if you could just be with her every waking moment? Been there, thought that. I really don't have a solution other than time and climb back on that horse, but I felt you needed an understanding opinion instead of all the negative vibes being thrown at you. On the lighter side, the 18th century physicians felt that the cure for Love Sickness was sex! Lot's of sex!! That's a cure I've decided to try for myself. LOL I'll let you know how it works.
Good Luck and hang in there. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 3/31/2009 6:54:43 PM | | there are a few good girls out there...........and that is it. just a few. however, you have jealousy and insecurity issues that need to be dealt with or no good one will give you the time of day........much less a bad one. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 4/1/2009 11:30:17 AM | I am having a hard time letting go as well, and I didn't act appropriately all of the time either. Beating yourself up or having others do that for you is not going to help.
For me what is helping, is realizing I can change and I will be different in my next relationship, because I want to be.....also, someone posted a reply to me that I thought was great : "realize you went as far as you had the capacity to do at the time"--- maybe you have some underlying issues that prevented you from attracting and keeping the right person in your life. I know I did.
Good luck! | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 4/1/2009 11:39:58 AM | Let's go through the red flags.
i got jealous a lot cause she always would talk to other guys and i could never get her to stop.
Jealousy is not good.
Controlling is bad.
i got mad and said some mean things
Anger is very bad.
i am just so nevous bout gettin hurt
Too much baggage to fit in the overhead compartment.
Take some time to work on yourself to heal. You will need to do this before you get into another relationship. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 4/1/2009 12:36:54 PM | | I dont think theres anything wrong with you except the most obvious fact that you go for the COMPLETELY WRONG girls; But what can I say, youre just like me. You always want the one who doesnt want you. | |
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| cant get over it
Posted: 4/2/2009 1:22:38 AM | | If you truly love someone, let them be free. If they love you, they will do right by you. If they don't (love you or do right) then you haven't lost anything. If you hold on and are controling, then it's not love you have, it's insecurity. | |
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