| | Best sex ever, can it cause problems?Page 1 of 1 | My last post was written out of frustration, and was a flop, because the words and meaning were blurred by my frustrations at the time....I hope I do better this time... ....there is no particular person this is about, its meant in just a general sense..
I was married just once and it was a long marriage, sex was "good" for the most part, but it never reached the progression thats happens when two people are together for a long time, if they are really compatible sexually. The woman I met after my marriage, we just clicked so well sexually, were so much alike sexually, were so at ease with each other...that to make it short, it was the best sex ever for both of us, others things being important in a relation, we are not together anymore.
So the questions, once you have reached the ultimate high sexually with someone where you have spend a lot of time with them,...if you have experienced this, how did or does it effect your future relations if things don't reach that level...once you've been there, is it hard to regress if others are not as on the page as that best ever person?
I do understand sex is not everything, but it is important, and that we shouldn't judge people too quickly, cause it takes time for people to be at ease and discover themselves with you. I know too its probably better not to use that "best ever person" as a yardstick to measure other people....
I know too that in a relation maybe the sex is not a great as that one person was, but other things can be better, so the balance of the relation is better over-all.
This question applies to both sexes, and I was just wanting to hear some imput and feed back....
Thanks | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 7:44:57 AM | Actually, discovering the best sex ever is really helpful for future relationships. First of all, you were half of the best sex, right? You learned from it. You now have an idea of what makes sex great.
When you go into a new relationship, apply what you learned. Elicit from her what floated your boat the last time. Give to her what floated the ex gf's boat.
Second of all, you now know that great sex is possible. You know there is more out there. The new gf might not be in to the same things or do things the same way. That's ok. The important thing is that you know you can get there- to great sex.
Third of all, you can have great sex more than one way. I know for me, every man feels different in side of me in different positions. Little things like torso length, hip width even make a difference in how different positions work - not just the size of his penis. I don't know if the same is true for women but I'd guess it is. What worked w/the last gf might not work with the next....but I bet somethign else will. And enjoy the voyage discovering the unique ways you and a new gf will have great sex.
Lastly, of course, you now know not to settle. YOu know great sex is possible...and therefore crappy sex is too. And that you don't have to accept crappy sex as an inevitable part of your sex life. If a new partner is not open to trying different things, or making it the best sex possible, well, you'll need to decide if you want to compromise or not.
Have fun!!!! | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 7:48:11 AM | It is important to wait for someone who you are compatible with in many different aspects.
Recently, I fell for this guy who I think is amazing. He is everything I want. Cherry on top, we had amazing sex together. He repeated to me several times we had the best sex he has ever had. The funnest sex he has ever had. However, he did not want to pursue a relationship with me. Even though he thinks I am an amazing woman, even outside the bedroom playground.
So sex is not everything. It is important to some, but not for all.
As far as, where do you go from here now that you've experienced the best sex? There will be another woman who will do that thang she does, and she will become "the best sex". I can only imagine!
Everyone is different...I wouldn't get caught up in finding someone to top that lady you found...and let go. Just patiently wait and look forward to the next lady who will make ya say, OMG! | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 7:55:01 AM | | The judging of sex can cause problems if you become unsatisfied with sex for it not being as good as you wanted. Then you don't appreciate what you have, and sex is only good when it is the best yet. It might occur to you that it was your appreciation of the sex that made it the best you ever had and that by appreciating it that same way it will always be the best it can be, but to do that you would have to leave off judging it and there goes the quest for the holy grail of sex. It's hard to keep looking for something that you can find anywhere you look. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 8:00:39 AM | yes I have had the best sex SO FAR , and it is a bit of a bit ch sometimes when other lovers arent up to par. (frustrating actually)
I am certain though, I have yet to experience the best sex "EVER"!!
I still have a long way to go before "EVER' catches up to me! | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 8:05:40 AM | I can't imagine having great sex being a problem *unless* you indiscrimately jump into bed with people you are not compatible with...Oh, it could also be a problem if you look at it like the "best sex ever", *and* think you'll never have it that good again.
Kaylie's first paragraph makes a lot of sense as well:
Actually, discovering the best sex ever is really helpful for future relationships. First of all, you were half of the best sex, right? You learned from it. You now have an idea of what makes sex great.
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 1:24:08 PM | | I agree with the other posters that you don't know how great it can be. You think you have been with the one that rocked your world and you meet someone new and they rock your world even more. That is what is great about life some times, you never know what is around the corner. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 1:42:16 PM | The only problem I can see with having the best sex of your life is that it simply raises the bar on your standards. Outside of that , I don't see how awesome sex can cause a problem in the relationship. And I don't see how raising that bar would create a HUGE problem.. only that you would want someone who was sexually compatible with YOU.
As the OP said, sex isn't everything but it certainly is important. If the sex is great but the rest of the relationship is blah.... it's not going to last. Just as if the relationship is great but the sex is blah..... well, you can see where i'm going with this. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 7:41:38 PM | I've had great, and I've had not-so-great. I really try to not ever compare or put anyone on a pedestal, though. I do it out of respect for who I'm with as well as not wanting to set a bar too high. I also want to avoid ever feeling like the following, which ~rain~ said:
it is a bit of a bit ch sometimes when other lovers arent up to par. (frustrating actually) | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 8:06:57 PM | LuckyHot777's:So the questions, once you have reached the ultimate high sexually with someone where you have spend a lot of time with them,...if you have experienced this, how did or does it effect your future relations if things don't reach that level...once you've been there, is it hard to regress if others are not as on the page as that best ever person?
Hope I am understanding the question correctly. The way it is worded it appears geared more to those who have not been married.
When I was married we had great sex, good sex, fine sex and sex that fit the need at the moment. And since the brain is the major sex organ I guess its also the whole mental aspect of sex that I like. Like the ER trauma surgeon who I have not had sex with, but whose long conversations with me actually are orgasmic. So I need someone who gets me going out of the bed as well as in. The guy could be the best in bed, but I wouldnt want him in my life just for the sex. My brain also needs stimulating.
Now that I am a widow, I look forward to great sex again, and know that because I am high energy that it will happen. I wonder if a woman who is more of a free spirit and not afraid shy or timid about sex is simply more successful at great sex. Seems to make sense. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/28/2009 8:28:13 PM | Hmmm, OP Just what is your problem? Are ya complainin' cause the sex is good with whom you are with or are ya complainin' about you like whom you are with and the sex SUCKS? Ummm, GOOGLE is a useful website to get useful answers or, iffn' ya had done a thread search, you might of answered your own question before posting this pity post or is that what you are going for? Turn her over and try something new. BTW, who was better, you or her? Also, if you have no connections physically or emotionally with the another person, OF COURSE YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE XTATIC SEX!!! First meeting whom ever you are, when you engage in sex, of course you are gonna go all out.
KB | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 5:54:57 AM | | you pretty much answered your own question. sex was great but more was needed for a relationship so great sex wasnt enough. you need someone sexually compatible yes but over time you will learn each others bodies better and it will become great because of the emotional connection. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 1:14:01 PM | | I think kayliecatabsolutely nailed it. The only thing that I would add is that great sex isn't just about sex. The physical and mental dimensions of sex are huge; but when you throw the emotional part in there as well, it's an entirely different experience. For whatever reason, you may not physically click as perfectly with anyone as you did with the person you are talking about. However, if you've got that "forever and ever; grow old together" type of love going on, where you literally love each other more as time goes by; that adds a whole new dimension to the mix. The physical sex may not be what it was with that one individual; but the TOTAL sex can be so much better; and NO it won't be a problem; because you'll never think about it. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:15:01 PM | Maybe I should have made this all more simple.....when you reach this high of level of sex both mental and physical, could the problem be that if you do not reach that same level or quite near enough to it, can it effect how future relationships go, because you may not feel as satisfied, or fofilled if you do not reach that level ?
I realise love and other things can fill a small void, then again this answer may be different with each person. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:34:44 PM | | Well it kinda caused problems since the sex being had was my husband and best friend was just recently told it was the best sex she ever had...heh | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:54:25 PM | | When I was 22 I had an amazing lover, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but the relationship turned out to a nightmare from hell. But I thought I'll never have sex that fantastic again. Later on I met someone else, I thought this is the best sex I've ever had . . . my point being that each person/experience is different and we become better lovers, hopefully, and the adventure continues. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 6:48:32 PM | I concur with KaylieCat, JustaWench and Windlover.
I don't compare past to current lovers because the past is the past. And rarely is amazing sex possible with someone the first time, because that takes getting to know each other's bodies and minds for that. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 7:48:27 PM | The biggest problem I see with "Best sex Ever" is trying to find it again. As each new partner is met, do they get judged and found lacking.
If you only ever had one partner, then you'd have nothing to compare it to....
But what if you've had great sex early on, (say your third partner) but that was never equalled, and then go on endlessly looking for it's equal...not finding it and not realising you may never find it at that level again... | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 8:04:00 PM | | How do you know what the best sex ever is until you try what is out there, sometimes the best sex ever is with the person you are with at the time, if you have been split up with someone a while can you remember everything they done to you to make it the best sex ever???? most cant as feelings, hormones etc can take over with the person you are with at the time and if they are totally crap and dont float your boat then its not the right compatability, move on and keep going until you find the someone you are compatable with. Sex is important and it is imporatant to turn each other on and keep sparks alive however the best sexual experiences in my view are with someone you can talk to share things with and laugh with too as if you are more compatable on other levels the sex will be fantastic. Also please bear in mind that the longer you spend with someone the better they become as they get more used to what you like. So if you think she/he was really good the first time you had sex it will be better the second and better than that the third time and so on and so as the more you relax with someone the more mind blowing the sex. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 8:04:19 PM | | How do you know what the best sex ever is until you try what is out there, sometimes the best sex ever is with the person you are with at the time, if you have been split up with someone a while can you remember everything they done to you to make it the best sex ever???? most cant as feelings, hormones etc can take over with the person you are with at the time and if they are totally crap and dont float your boat then its not the right compatability, move on and keep going until you find the someone you are compatable with. Sex is important and it is imporatant to turn each other on and keep sparks alive however the best sexual experiences in my view are with someone you can talk to share things with and laugh with too as if you are more compatable on other levels the sex will be fantastic. Also please bear in mind that the longer you spend with someone the better they become as they get more used to what you like. So if you think she/he was really good the first time you had sex it will be better the second and better than that the third time and so on and so as the more you relax with somone the more mind blowing the sex. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 8:15:17 PM | The best sex I ever had (and it was the same for her) was with the girl who I loved the most since I was 14 (long story).....unfortunately she turned out to be the worst nightmare of my life. The love I had for her and the physical oneness we shared caused me to overlook the fact that she was a totally self-absorbed nutjob with no regard for MY and my children's feelings and needs. So, yeah, it can cause MAJOR problems.
How can you say the sex was the best for you and her then call her a self-absorbed nutjob with no regard for your feelings and needs. If she had no regard for your feelings or needs then i fail to comprehend how it could have been the best ever sex.......... this makes no sense im sorry. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 8:38:06 PM | I`ve noticed in my ownb relationships, if the sex is really great, but other areas of the relationship go bad and there is a break up, it is usually really hard for the one who was left. I think it has to do with hormones, etc. and being cut off from the source of the euphoria, and can lead to a really nasty break up.
If one of the people is really almost addicted to the awesome sex, and then all of a sudden it is over, they have a tendency of losing it really bad. They can stalk, go into
major depressions, get mean and threaten the one that left them without the sex. So if the fire is burning really hot, emotions have a tendency to run hot too. It`s hard to keep an even keel and not get pulled in emotionally when the sex rocks your world.
So usually if the sex is really good, there is more emotional content to the relationship, at least from what I have noticed. If the attraction and chemistry wasn`t there in the first place, the sex wouldn`t be that good. | |
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| Best sex ever, can it cause problems?
Posted: 3/29/2009 9:06:42 PM | | I agree with goddess 1972. iT's in the mind, how you feel about that person,What they want,communication,knowing that your both getting off and reaching that higher plane of unified spiritual bonding. | |
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