| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 5:16:59 AM | Alright, so I have been seeing someone for a little over a month now and its been going GREAT.... until tonight. We met, hit it off, have everything you could think of in common, our energy is dynamic together. You name it, we have it. We're so comfortable talking to each other that we even discussed our longterm life goals; career, marriage, kids. We even have the same answers on those. Career = yes, a must. Marriage = eh, antiquated tradition, can happily live without it. Kids = Not sure, definitely not now, a slight maybe around age 30.
Of course since our chemistry is so fantastic we have slept together. We do live a ways apart though but its not a distance we are not willing to travel until we decide to cohabitate. This does, however, open the opportunity to send suggestive pics via mobiles just to tease each other. (I'm a very open minded female to boot.)
Tonight though, I sent a topless pic and had low cut jeans on. He made the comment that my body shape was fantastic. Its his next words that freaked me out severly.
"You have wonderful wide child bearing hips that are always sought after... and those breasts..god just to imagine what they would look like if you were pregnant."
WTF. I'm 22! He's 21! I'm am in NO rush to do anything of that nature anytime soon. It freaked me out and I am ready to run like hell.
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 5:22:57 AM | | jebus girly, he paid you a compliment, most guys his age would think you all bloated from pregancy is grouse sooo suck it up princess , wish guys like yours would meet me ;) | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 5:27:19 AM | Ah, I know...I just cant shake that acid burning in my stomach. I am still kind of shaking from it. I froze when I heard it from the other line of the phone. He laughed uncomfortably then changed the subject.
I guess I should chill, I just wanted others opinions. Thank you for replying. It made me feel better. Lets me know I am wigging out over nothing.
An yes, they are a rare catch. Its why I decided to post instead of instinctively run like I usually do. I dont want to lose this one before its even at its peak.
I can assure you more guys like that do exist. I have met them. | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 5:53:45 AM | Now that it has sunk in and I am ok with it, I still have curiosities about that though. It is quite a strong & bold thing to say so early on in knowing someone, especially for a male so young.
Would any of you guys (any age range) ever come forward with thoughts like that after only knowing a woman for alittle more than 30 days? | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 6:11:27 AM | | I think it's weird, sorry. You sent him a picture of your perfect 22-year-old body in a sexy pose, as you are now, and he immediately fantasized about how great it would look transformed by pregnancy. Now don't get me wrong, I loved being pregnant and it can be pretty damn sexy, but the sexiness of pregnancy results from the crazy emotions surrounding getting pregnant and expecting a child together. You're a decade away from all that. He didn't respond directly to what you had sent him (ex: you're sexy and I want to do x, y, and z to you); rather he said you're sexy but you'd be so much sexier if you changed to fit my fantasy. | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 6:12:30 AM |
Would any of you guys (any age range) ever come forward with thoughts like that after only knowing a woman for alittle more than 30 days?
I'd never say that to a woman. However, I'm an old guy and in my younger years have said my fair share of gaffs. My intent was to compliment, but the words might have come out wrong. So, you live & learn. I guarantee that unless he's a complete moron, you friend WON'T say that to a woman again.  | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 6:30:26 AM | | i take things at face value. i like that he is very candid. which means he appreciates candor, i should think. maybe text him or when you talk next time say thanks for the compliment but my plans to have children are _____. what are yours? | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 6:37:19 AM | O.P. You said it yourself.
"Kids = Not sure, definitely not now, a slight maybe around age 30."
You sent the photo, NOT the the first time he SEEN you.
He was just thinking about your future you both talked about.
WOW..What will they look like at 30.  | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 8:52:12 AM | I was thinking the same thing:
Had some thoughts but I'd probably have to see the pictures to judge for sure
Really, I don't think it's anything to worry about. He paid you a compliment... awkwardly. | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 9:16:54 AM | | I think he was obviously scratching his head trying to think of how to complement you, and got abit mixed up. he probably just thought yum. no point in making a long sentence about it. | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 9:17:18 AM |
Had some thoughts but I'd probably have to see the pictures to judge for sure
I was thinking the same thing
Ditto...
Very much a compliment... Not just the physical aspect... but he cares enough for you that he's looking forward to raising younguns with you. He sees you in his life for a long time to come.... | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 9:20:25 AM | | Yes, I have come forward with thoughts like that after only knowing a woman a little more than 30 days. In some ways it was an emotional gut reaction that I wanted to share and show some of what I thought would be appreciation to my then girlfriend. Given that you have slept together, why is it so wrong for him to think about things down the road? You are making it seem like it was wrong for him to have these thoughts and feelings, which I'm not sure is a good reaction. Lastly, since you did mention that you are sleeping together, what happens if there is an "Oops" pregnancy as most contraceptives have a non-zero failure rate? | |
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sosse
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Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 15 | |
| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 10:19:43 AM | Might I offer that you sound totally infatuated at this point. If you don't think that there are going to be severe bumps in your relationship along the way, you'll change, he'll change, and you are going to have to adapt to the situation for it to survive, I think you're fooling yourself. Let me clue you in that the shape of your breasts is probably near the least substantive change that you will have to deal with.
I would suggest doing a personality inventory and looking at your different styles of communication. From the little you have stated, there seems to be the person-pleasing side to your personality that will turn out to be easily offended under stress, just like I was with my ex last night. If you can fight the urge to run away, and gently communicate how his comment freaked you out, he might bond with you even more than caressing your upper torso with his eyes from afar. | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 10:47:04 AM | You may want to take inventory of why it is that the suggestion of you being prego nearly made you ill. Your relationship is new. Perhaps his true feelings about having children are being revealed as intimacy develops. But so what??? I wouldn't call that a gaffe.
You're young, and so is the relationship. Use protection and enjoy the ride until you are certain that there is an incompatibility that interferes with the relationship. A candid conversation may be in order.
Good luck. Glad you met someone you are enjoying. | |
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Landra
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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 11:06:37 AM | How ambiguous.
You say you're sleeping together after dating him only 30 days.
You're sending him sexually explicit photos of yourself.
You're already willing to shack up with him some time in the future...
then you say ...
It is quite a strong & bold thing to say so early on in knowing someone, especially for a male so young.
As though the sleeping together and sending photos "so early on in knowing someone" is all perfectly normal  | |
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| Why do you say intense things when its going good?
Posted: 3/31/2009 11:16:36 AM | "You have wonderful wide child bearing hips that are always sought after... and those breasts..god just to imagine what they would look like if you were pregnant."
That would have made me throw up....at any age. babies = icky | |
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