| | Dumped after a second date....WTH?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | I was asked out on a date, had a great time with the guy. Then he asks me for a second date but I had already had plans to go on date with someone else on the same day, but he talked me out of it. I cancelled the other date because I thought this guy and I clicked, we go off on a second date then he never calls me again....WTH? | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 3/31/2009 11:10:34 PM | kind of vague on the particulars of what happened DURING the date, aren't ya????? How is anybody supposed to know based solely on the information you gave??
Did you MENTION to the guy you went out with that you cancelled another date????? Maybe THAT was part of the reason... he might be thinking you have a lot MORE dates lined up that he would have to 'talk you out of'............. Though I really can't say......
Your info is really limited here... | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 3/31/2009 11:16:18 PM | What's bothering you more? The fact that he hasn't called you after date two, or that he talked you out of the previous date and you feel like you've lost all the way around?
He doesn't owe you anything simply because you agreed to break a date with another prospect and go out with him instead. If it bothers you, call and ask him what's up?
Two dates in one day? Hell, don't know what you're complaining about. Perhaps you might explore your options fully in the future.
Besides, I'm sure if the first guy was seriously interested in you, he would have shown a little more class, and made arrangements for another date at another time. | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 3/31/2009 11:18:03 PM | Maybe it's cause he knew that you had a date with another man on the same day. Some people don't like that.
Although a guy Sunday told me he had family things planned, I wondered about that. He kept having me meet him every 3 hours saying he had to be somewhere. If Sunday was a bad day we could have arranged another day. I did not feel like going out in the bad weather anyway. I wasted my time.
That one seemed to be hiding something anyway. Then unlike his profile states he had no car and a DUI conviction. Kept going back and forth to bathroom every half hour, started to smell of alcohol. I understand family issues, but now this excuse is getting abused! | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 12:45:34 AM | You weren't "dumped" cause you weren't dating seriously. He decided that the grass was greener elsewhere.
And you allowed him to "talk you out of the other date"? Wow...I don't know any guy who's that persuasive. But I also know that I wouldn't have flat out said to him that's what I was doing...it wasn't any of his business if you were going on a date with someone else...was it?
So now you're peeved cause the other guy signed off and went away too eh? | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:10:44 AM | | Sounds like a Boomerang to me. You decided to ditch your plans with another man and have found yourself in the same situation that you put the guy you ditched. Isn't Karma a b i t c h:) | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:55:53 AM | Kinda strange question to ask, if you ask me.
You had a date with one guy and you seemed to click. If that was all to the story then great.
But it's not.
Later on you "allowed" yourself to be talked out of an existing date with another guy. Sounds like you were not very considerate of the previous guy and tossed him to the side because you thought something better came up. You had a pre-existing commitment that you did not feel you should honor. What would the first guy think? Now your complaining that the second guy just wasn't that into you.
Sorry, but I don't think you should be throwing stones at the guy who never called again. It seems like you were playing and in turn you got played.
I don't have an issue with people dating more than one person at a time so long as you are up front with them. It's when you date them, make some type of a plan, and then cancel the plan just because something "better" came up that speaks to what type you are.
What comes around goes around. Hope you learned something.
M | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 3:26:47 AM |
Sorry, but I don't think you should be throwing stones at the guy who never called again. It seems like you were playing and in turn you got played.
I don't have an issue with people dating more than one person at a time so long as you are up front with them. It's when you date them, make some type of a plan, and then cancel the plan just because something "better" came up that speaks to what type you are. I have to agree... how often do we see threads about someone that has been sloughed off for someone better?
Poetic justice?  | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 3:58:18 AM | Just curious, a question to everyone who replied...
What would you do if you had a few dates lined up but you really clicked with the first date or even met someone else through other means. Would you still honour the other dates but be up front with everyone about why? What if they thought you were wasting their time? | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:12:36 AM |
What would you do if you had a few dates lined up but you really clicked with the first date or even met someone else through other means. Would you still honour the other dates but be up front with everyone about why? What if they thought you were wasting their time? This is the problem with multiple dating and the reason I won't do it... its unfair to everyone involved. | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:48:25 AM |
What would you do if you had a few dates lined up but you really clicked with the first date or even met someone else through other means. Would you still honour the other dates but be up front with everyone about why? What if they thought you were wasting their time?
Hell...it's hard enough to find ONE man to go on a date with, much less more than 2! And honestly, depending on the 2nd guy, I might very well go out on a first date with him. What would happen if I "click" more with him than guy #1? Hmmm....why assume that the first choice is the best choice?
I think that the originator of this thread did herself a bad one. There's no way I'd allow someone that I had just 1 date with to talk me out of anything that didn't involve him. I'm not a serial dater but if I'm dating and looking for one person to be with, doesn't that mean that I may or may not go out with more than 1 guy? Not sleep with, not make out--just go out with and see if there's chemistry.
Some men seem to be perfectly comfortable doing it--I think as a woman, I should be able to be comfortable with it as well. | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 5:05:55 AM | I think your first mistake was telling him you had a date with someone else. Your second mistake was letting him talk you into breaking it. The fact that he tried to should have tipped you off as to his integrity. The fact that you allowed him to says a lot about YOURS.
How are you any better than he is? You had a prior commitment and gave him the old "something suddenly came up" thing, and you think you should be treated better than that...why?
He probably just talked you into breaking the other date to see if you would...then met someone he liked better than you, kinda like what you did to the other guy you had a date with.
Can you really not see the irony? What goes around....comes around! | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 5:09:35 AM | | I agree with PSSST, I never once lined up multiple dates with different people at the same time, so I never had to worry about this happening. I can only focus on one person at a time. If I'd gone out with several at one time, I'd probably have been so ADD about the whole thing I wouldn't remember if I liked any of them or if I hated them all. | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:05:05 AM | Excuse me, have you given any thought as to how guy #2 felt when you cancelled on him? Some what like double standards. It's OK if you hurt his feelings, but not OK if guy #1 hurt yours!
Personally I've been on second dates where that was enough for me......and I'd move on! | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:52:33 AM | | Most likely, he thought you had potential so wanted the second date to find out. Then he decided you weren't what he wanted after all. It happens - what's the big deal? | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:14:54 AM | | April Rose ... you weren't dumped, sometimes it takes more time than one date to find out if you are truly attracted to someone. Sometimes you can tell instantly yeah or nay, other times it takes more than 2 or 3 dates. I just think he asked you out on a second date because he might have thought there was a spark, but after the second date he realized there wasn't one. Some some men and women tell the other person straight out how and what they're thinking, some men and women just move on without an explanation. He just wasn't as into you as he thought he might have been. It happens. It happens after weeks or months of dating someone, too! Better luck next time is all. | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:17:23 AM | | I'm not sure whether this looks more like the work of terrorists, the Obama recovery plan, or is an effect of gay marriage on society. It has elements of all three. | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:27:18 AM | I liken it to that that ‘cheating’ principle: if they cheat with you, they’ll probably cheat on you.
So maybe after having time to think about it, he realized that if you blew off the other guy to go out with him, there’s a good chance you’ll eventually do the same to him if somebody more promising comes your way.
Or maybe he just didn't feel that "click" as much after the second date.
Either way, does the term ‘golden rule’ ring a bell? | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:32:14 AM | I think Guy #1 hooked up with Guy #2 and went out and had a few beers
and laughed their a$$es off at Girl #0! | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:38:12 AM |
April Rose ... you weren't dumped, sometimes it takes more time than one date to find out if you are truly attracted to someone. Sometimes you can tell instantly yeah or nay, other times it takes more than 2 or 3 dates.
I agree. Provided that the first date wasn't terrible or there weren't any obvious dealbreakers, then I would probably go out on a second date with a woman. | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 10:28:15 AM | Maybe he just got busy.
Being on a dating site can be, for some, like a smorgasbord...always another dish to sample.
Sometimes, one will eventually return to their favorite. | |
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| Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 10:39:11 AM | | It was just a second date. The whole point of dating is to get to know the other person to see if you actually want to date them exclusively and start building a relationship. Two dates does not a relationship make. I really would not let myself be upset. | |
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