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 trustediva
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 1
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I was told today by a matchmaker that successful, intelligent executives want women who are on the medium-higher maintenance side. ie. they do their hair, wear makeup, heels, sexy clothes. They aren't interested in more 'earthy' women- I guess like me. The men she set me up with said I didn't seem to spend much time getting ready to meet them. I didn't wear makeup (once I didn't- I met him for a coffee while I was running my son's birthday party at the pool). She told me it wasn't that they were looking for a woman 20 yrs younger, just one more 'done'

So what is it that men look for. One man looked at me and immediately decided I didn't look good for him. So, I've met 4 men and I'm zero for 4. comments?
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 2
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:15:06 PM
Some men like some women who take the time to enhance their appearance, other men don't care.

But if a man is established in business, wears a suit to work, etc...imagine how the professional world would feel about him if he didnt have on a clean suit (unfixed hair)...or if his shirt was cleaned but not ironed...(no makeup). It is considered more polished...not always needed but it is the effort that counts.

It is like you meeting a man in a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt who didnt fix his hair first...some women would be fine with it...some arent...but taking what the normal standards are that you would want to present yourself so to make the best first impression I can understand why someone who didnt put alot of effort into meeting someone else wouldnt make it to the second date.... those men you dont need to date again cause they will expect out of you something you arent comfortable with.

So I do agree that it isnt an age related thing but more based on what your comfort level and expectations are. I prefer a man who dresses up to met me, so I spend the time and effort to make myself look good (in my eyes) whenever I go to meet someone.
 Kaptain Obvious
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 3
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:16:05 PM
I guess the question that is coming to my mind is..... Were you actually LOOKING for a 'successful, intelligent executive' type in your matchmaking search?? Because it would seem to me that somebody who is as 'earthy' as you, would be better off with an 'earthy' type of guy. Maybe you are limiting your OWN success by the criteria you are trying to set. There are PLENTY of successful men out there who aren't the stereotypical 'intelligent executive' types. Some successful men are rather ANTI all that, with more casual, yet renegade entrepreneurial mindsets, preferring Jeans and T-shirts over Armani suits. Careful.......most times....the clothes definitely do not make the man.........
 Landra
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 4
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:20:11 PM
Different men want different things, just like women.
Some women want a professional man who has a heavy career
Some women want a down-to-earth guy who works with his hands
Some women like wealthy men
Some women prefer men who are simply passionate about what they do
Some men like blonds
Some like redheads
Some like curvy women
Some like thin women
Some like natural-looking women
Some like women "done up"
Some think a woman in a t-shirt is sexy
Some think a woman in a dress and heels is sexy.
Bill Gates married a rather "natural" looking woman
Kelsey Grammer married a blond bomshell-type

Most people appreciate someone who makes at least a little effort with their appearance and I would imagine most men assume a woman is going to wear a little mascara and lipgloss.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 5
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:25:19 PM
^^ Good thoughts Korky.

As a generalization, I think the comment is likely valid... IME, men who are polished want women who are more polished.
But, like everything in life, that's not always the case. I've known guys who can't wait to tear off their business suits and get into their "real" clothes, and millionaires who look like trash collectors. ('course, I've also known a millionarie who was a trash collector... but he was a polished guy, lol).

It's all a matter of compatibility.

It comes down to values I suppose. Some people say caring about appearance is shallow... other people say the time and attention given to appearance is an expression of the value they are as a human. (I've heard the same argument made for keeping a vehicle clean, so take it for what it is worth).
 Elle Kaye
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 6
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:35:54 PM
Sure, lots of men are looking for "blingy" women. Others are more comfortable with those who are more natural. Instead of thinking you're "zero for 4" men, maybe the reality is that you're "zero for one" . . . matchmaker. Is she looking for men to match YOUR preferences, or simply for a woman who will meet the guys' requirements?
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 7
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:39:23 PM
So would a successful, stupid executive prefer "earthy" women?
Would an unsuccessful, intelligent one?
How's about a guy who's middle management? They like women who wear clothes from Macy's?

I'm not liking the elitist tone of the question.
 Kaptain Obvious
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 8
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:47:47 PM
I just had the brainfart to finally look at your profile....

You're listed as 'self employed'...... So you're a self employed earthy type of woman..... all the more reason why I stand by what I said earlier. You also should consider looking for somebody who also understands what it's like to take RISKS on their OWN dime, verses some corporate executive type who spends everybody else's dimes without consequences.
 trustediva
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 9
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:51:34 PM
the tone isn't meant to be elitist- it is what it is. That is what I'm looking for. I've met successful men - ie have lots of money- who have very little grey matter. They were boring and unchallenging to me. I guess we all have the right to ask for what we want just like the men who want the cutie, busty woman 20 yrs younger.

But there have been some great points and I never looked at it that way. Thanks for pointing out that a polished man wants a polished woman. I guess what I want is a man who can't wait to get out of that suit, That he can play the part but his essence is down to earth. So it's about choice. And picking men with depth. I rarely wear mascara- allergic to it. Guess I have to find a man without that criteria.

thanks for the input.
 trustediva
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 10
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 1:59:09 PM
Korky: Great points you have made. You're right- I'm out there on the edge. In a recession no doubt! Without a net. I guess it's not easy is it. to match ourselves with those who might appreciate all that we are. In all its complexity and the many layers.
 Phoebe48
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 11
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:14:17 PM
So what is it that men look for.


I think the answer to your question OP is as varied as the number of men on the planet. So, what might be a turnoff for one man, may be a total turn on for another.

We all know that people (especially men) are visual. But, usually we only have one opportunity to make a good first impression.

So, there's no question a man will check out a woman's clothes, the way she walks, her makeup, her feet, her boobs etc., during a first meeting. Maybe some successful executives are looking for a lady who maintains a certain "look" while they're climbing the corporate ladder. And, maybe some others aren't.

It doesn't matter. The only thing that does matter is that you're confident being an "earthy woman" and comfortable in your own skin. So, stay true to yourself.
Eventually you'll attract a man, whether he's an executive or not, who will find you incredibly attractive, just the way you are.
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 12
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:15:35 PM
Don't you think it depends on what that man is successful at? An artist would most likely be attracted to artistic "types", for example.
It all depends on what sort of social milieu he belongs to as well.
From my experience, yes: a successful businessman wants a woman who reflects his self-image.
But is that necessarily higher maintenance? I always thought this mean the woman was more demanding of the man - wanting "stuff", to go out a lot or emotionally more demanding. I never thought of it as wearing makeup or having your hair done or wearing dresses.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 13
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:31:55 PM
I guess everyone wants to feel that the person they meet for a date has made some sort of effort for them, that they are not unclean and unkempt and are not approaching the date as if it's one more chore to get through in the day. Having said that, attraction is very individual and what one person might find 'earthy' another might find delightful. It sounds as if these people were rather shallow and more concerned with whether you would maintain their status than with your personality. Either that or you didn't interest them in other ways and they used a superficial excuse. I'd much rather be with someone interesting and exciting than someone who saw dressing up and status as more important. Besides, why be too concerned with trying to please him? Isn't what you want in a man just as important? Who says he knows what he needs anyway? There are enough tales of normally staid and responsible men running off with wild and over-emotional artistic women to show that what people are used to isn't always what excites them.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 14
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:36:23 PM
There are some of us that can be successful in one arena, and looking to maintain that in certain ways with those around us, and be quite different in another arena where we can let maybe our total upbringing, and background come to life.

I have always enjoyed those that are quite educated, impressive with their resume, and their earning power, yet, know when to take all those clothes and persona off, and be down to earth doing earthy things.......like hiking, farming, camping, and yes riding.

There should not ever be a one size fits all type of personality, but there is no reason that one can not dress for the occasion, and change in a flash to do all those things that made you who you are in the first place.

What I do not want, is someone that feels that their hair will get mussed, or their skin dirty, if they do certain things, so they choose not to, and that is my perception of a type of high maintenance the will turn me off.

I prefer those with nails that really belong to them, and not man made, and not have a fear that one just might break while doing things with me that make us happy. And as much as I adore a sexy, sensual, woman in that little black dress, having the same person hiking by my side in shorts, or riding on my back in jeans and boots, can have much the same effect on me.

Just my opinion.......
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 15
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:39:01 PM
Successful men...intelligent executives...over 45 for sure are married!(with children).
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 16
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:44:28 PM
Or WERE married, and their children are now all grown up......

OT.......One can never totally generalize what just might be deemed successful, and I know maybe to many intelligent men, that are NOT very successful, and some even in jail for maybe being TO successful.

Life has a way of working its magic for most of us and karma is the absolute resolve for living life the way one should.

Just my opinion.......
 Mountain Geek
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 17
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:47:18 PM

So what is it that men look for


Good thing I got my crystal ball back from the Tooth Fairy last night.

Ok -- I'm seeing something -- it's getting clearer -- oh ya, I've got it now -- Damn, lost it.

The real question here is what do you want -- you've let others tell you what they think you may want but in the end are you looking for MR. Right or MR. Right Now.

If it's the latter -- change to intimate encounter and you will have a date in a heart beat.

So -- one question -- did you knock the teeth out of the woman who told you that you weren't "done" enough? OMG -- I read that and had to say something.

Hun, don't let enyone put you down like that again -- it's just not cool.
 sequoyah61
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 18
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:49:59 PM
Why didn't you just ask those "successful men" what they wanted?

I'm not one, so I wouldn't know.



Sequoyah
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 19
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 3:28:52 PM

Successful men...intelligent executives...over 45 for sure are married!(with children

Too right! And those who have divorced are remarried so fast it would make your head spin.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 20
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 3:44:09 PM
Or have made a concerted effort and decision to never marry again.......and the only heads that are spinning are from those that leave in a hurry because they can not get what they wanted.

OT.......Maybe the successful men are trying to find successful women in order to have an equally successful relationship and pay the maintenance people to do the rest?

Just my opinion.......
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 21
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 3:58:48 PM
You all may find this hard to believe, but I myself have run into this type of issue. lol A friend set me up with a manual labourer. He was so crude! When it didn't work out, his excuse to my friends was that I was looking for a "suit". Another date, mid dinner burped in my face, never knew he did it, till I excused him. Again, I was looking for a suit! I am an executive and dress for the job 5 days a week. Weekends often, no makeup, cept when out, jeans, runners. I never decide on the attractiveness of a person based on their occupation. Anyone can be an "an obnoxious Bob", no matter what they do for a living. If someone tells me I don't fit their requirements, no skin off my hiney. I wouldn't trouble myself about it OP.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 22
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:15:36 PM
IMO, it’s a matter of social classes, rather than fashion sense and Maybelline. The successful, intelligent executives are going to congregate and associate with the women who are on the same, high-level, social tier as themselves. These women will dress to the nines, wear the most expensive and latest styles, and enjoy and afford the same social circles, culture, interests, clubs and activities as the successful, intelligent executives. They have more in COMMON with each other; they speak the same “language”; frequent the same circles; in other words, they “get” one another. The variables may change (the type of clothes, friends, activities, careers, etc.) within each of the social classes, but one fact will remain; more often than not, like will attract and want to mix and mingle with like.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 23
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:18:33 PM
^^^Frau, yes, I tend to agree with what you say. I have found the higher up one is on the financial ladder, the higher calibre of mate they seek. However, there is a middle road, wherein the two can share thoughts of like mind. I have met some of the smartest, most intelligent labourers, yet some of the most ignorant of business men. Overall, I think again, it all boils down to when the time,place etc is right, then it happens! It would appear I am never doing the two at the same time!
 Artz
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 24
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:20:43 PM
The OP needs to define successful.
Is it the Million Dollar Plus a year Hedge fund manager or Lawyer ?
Or an upper mid level VP making $400.000?
Maybe the Branch manager making just shy of $100.000?
Chances are The Million Dollar plus e guy is looking for the trophy. She needs to match is ski house in Aspen and or his Yacht in FL
The $400.000 Guy is also looking for Trophy arm candy but he is smart enough to know he will have to settle.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 25
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:22:25 PM
Manners are not the ownership of just the successful. I came from a poor family that still required manners at all our family functions especially eating. I may not have known which fork to use back then, but I did use one, and passed the food with a please and thank you.

Now that I might be considered successful, and know which fork to use, I learned much of my basics from my childhood and being in a large family without much money. What success has given me is the opportunity to use what I learned way back when, what I learned by getting an education, and what I learned by mingling with those around me that were also successful and most very educated.

With all that said, I still enjoy being able to take off the suit and put on the jeans, or shorts and do all the things I learned to do as a child, and what helped to form me into what I am today. My money may be larger now, and my toys more expensive, but most of what I learned about who and what I am today, came from being part of a family that could not afford much, and taught me what I did and did not want to have in my life.

My whole point here is that being successful does not mean that we want just high maintenance, and the ones that last the longest will be the ones that do not need to keep up a facade in order to be who they are, but can be many things because they experienced them all and relish returning to them as needed and wanted.

Just my opinion......
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