| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 3:58:49 PM | | It was discussed the other day at work. One woman dated a man that didn't even acknowledge what she was saying. One time she asked are you listening -he said yes but while you are talking I am thinking of what to say next. He remembers what she said- just no opinion on it nor does he compliment her on things. No interest in sharing the past nor the future. Just being together. I have not had that experience but seems like others had. What's up with this type of man? | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:05:44 PM |
What's up with this type of man?
Go topless -- you will have his undivided attention 
OP: It could be any number of things -- and it's on a person by person basis. Sometimes men don't have any input on the subject.
Also there is the gentle art of listening. He may have been right -- he was thinking of what to say next and because of that -- not listening. Most people do this.
Alas -- what a world, 90% asleep , 10 % of us in awe. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:06:07 PM | It has nothing to do with being an intellect?? He could care less about her or her feelings. Who knows why. Maybe she drones on and on whining about trivial things? Who friggin knows baby doll? But it has nothing to do with being an intellect what so ever. He might be total yuncaring or she bores him to tears.
Best of Luck
Cowboy | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:08:23 PM |
What's up with this type of man? Go topless -- you will have his undivided attention
Let him stew...  | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:11:31 PM | I am not this man. I have felt like this man in a previous relationship. My problem at the time was a kind of trust. She would talk, we were sweet for the most part bu,t I just tuned out after a while. I felt like she did not understand me, or was unable to relate. I just didn't see the point, or trust her with my thoughts. When I did open up, the response was something different than a connection. The reality was we were living together, with shared responsibilities. It was like waiting to be free. I thought the life was going to leave me, and I would just be empty. I am so thankful that is over. here is to not being in a sucky relationship.
Oh and who knows about this guy, but something is wrong, maybe. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:11:53 PM | | It could mean that he isn't paying attention....but it also could mean that she doesn't allow him to finish a word or thought of what he thinks. I have dated a few women who seem to want your opinion.....and once you begin to give it....they just start talking over you?? I think women could benefit by using a "CB" radio and realize what it means to "walk" on somebody when they are talking. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:22:24 PM | | Hey, like your reply. My friend replied to each and every conversation with her man. With excitment and interest, he just didn't reply to her exciting news-or sad news. funny news or most of what she said, Most responses from him were in response to witty, sexy inuendos she would say. I asked her if he understood her and she felt they didn't connect emotionally, but had a romantic spark. Thanks for the reply. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:23:15 PM | | goodboy, nice post. most women i know are volume talkers. these people start the monologue and are bent out of shape when you miss the 15 seconds out of a 20 minute aural assault that you really need to hear. as far as sharing your emotions, women generally want you to have the emotions they want you to have when they want you to have them. i had a dear friend brutally murdered and when i tried to cry on some womens sholders that had soaked my shoulders was told to "suck it up, quit whining, and REAL men don't share their feelings' | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:39:02 PM | Sounds clearly like an anxiety disorder.
If he has to focus so much time on coming up with a clever reply, he is nervous.
He physically may appear cool and collected, but some people that experience high anxiety are good at covering it up.
That's my thought on the issue.
Yecats8. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:04:46 PM | I was like this once with a gf who talked constantly. No kidding. Christ, I'd kiss her just to shut her up. Talked from sun up 'till sun down, then in bed, and first thing in the morning. Even while she gave me head. Non-stop I tell you. It just about made my head explode (the big one).
If a woman has a big ass profile, I'll avoid her. Just in case. lol. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:05:40 PM | | In a conversation about ideas, the point is the ideas. Words can be used for more than emotional effect. I have been in plenty of conversations where what the other person was saying was so devoid of interest that my own thoughts were by default what held my attention. I understand that listening is important, but so is having something to say that is not tedious. When I am talking with someone and I notice they glaze over I suspect I have lost their interest in what I am saying. I don't fault them for it. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:16:08 PM | You know.....I know that women sometimes CLAIM to want to have a man that is as 'emotive' as you..... but let's get real here for one second...... That's what your GRRRRRRLFRIENDS are for. And quite honestly.....who really needs TWO divas in the house anyway??? It's bad enough we had to have 'metrosexuality' shoved down our throats for awhile, till most women got irritated when we were hogging the mirror more than YOU.... Suddenly, it wasn't so cool.
I've had discussions with quite a few women over the years who would leave their husbands, because he just didn't 'emote'. They really had nothing else to complain about them. They just didn't 'emote' the way the woman wanted him to do. And after leaving the guy....they got involved in some really emotionally intense relationship with another guy, who could go pound for pound with them in the 'emotion' department...... Well guess what?? The relationships would become 'dysfunctional' because the guy was really an emotional basket case to begin with. What was thought to be a perfect match, turned out to be a match made in hell. It was literally 'familiarity breeds contempt'. It was also funny to see the women WISH for their 'old man' back, and eventually wind up with a guy who turned out to be 'less emotive'.....
Be careful for what you wish for..... sometimes, you just might get it.... | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:00:53 PM | goodboy- good post-ditto.
it may simply be a clash of personality types. this happens a lot in the form of control, indifference, anal personality, OCD, etc etc etc, and the other person is outgoing, bubbly, the full counter-opposite. if you don't have full communication and trust, in my opinion, there is no relationship. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 9:05:03 PM | | You two are not compatible. Relationships work because two people come together and make a conscious decision to make it work. I met a guy like that- he wanted to be with me because our time together was good, but he didn't really like me as a person. So I told him we had incompatibility issues and that was that. Trust me any guy that does that is not thinking relationship.... | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 9:31:44 PM |
Go topless -- you will have his undivided attention
Well... Technically that's not quite true. His attention will be divided...
*Stares at the left*
*Stares at the right*
*Stares at the left*
*Obligatory eye contact*
*Stares at the right*
I know a guy like the one in the OP. He's completely engaged if we're talking about his issues, his life, his day etc. But if I start to talk about what is going on with me... I can be on the phone or in person and literally FEEL him tuning out. I stop talking at that point.
Annoying as hell but other times, in subjects of mutual interest (not related to him directly) we have great conversation and talk about all kinds of things.
It's just subjects about me that bore him. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 9:37:29 PM | Fancy58 :Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Message: It was discussed the other day at work. One woman dated a man that didn't even acknowledge what she was saying. One time she asked are you listening -he said yes but while you are talking I am thinking of what to say next. He remembers what she said- just no opinion on it nor does he compliment her on things. No interest in sharing the past nor the future. Just being together. I have not had that experience but seems like others had. What's up with this type of man?
The subject line is misleading. Has nothing to do with intellects.
Intellectuals are very much interested in what someone who is interesting has to say. I also think some women as an example are so talkative that being around a man who is quiet and reflective is foreign to them. Some people like to hear the sound of their voice or as snobby as it sounds, talk about the least interesting things. More like gossip or National Inquirer type chatter. Maybe the man you used as an example simply has a lot of things on his minde.
~Beth~
PS Citizen Joe you comment 'Only if she had a mastectomy' in response to an earlier post that the woman should go topless to get the mans attention, was less than thoughtful! Cannot believe you deal with cancer issues. | |
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Rush™
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Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 23 | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 10:30:10 PM | He's really not that smart if he won't share his feelings, because he obviously doesn't have the foresight to comprehend the implications of building up a wall like that.
If he were an intellectual, he would show his emotions frequently, as wearing his heart on his sleeve would show that he is sensitive and most likely caring, smart enough to know that bottling things up or not letting yourself out there accomplishes nothing but holding you back, and may even go for the two-for-one by making him look like the brooding artist type.
Not smart at all. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 10:55:01 PM | I would be very interested to hear his side of the story. We might have a different perception of what is going on.
I was like this once with a gf who talked constantly. No kidding. Christ, I'd kiss her just to shut her up. Talked from sun up 'till sun down, then in bed, and first thing in the morning.
I was thinking the same thing. Some people talk so much and so fast its had to get a word in edgewise. If this was the case it would take him a long time to process the encyclopedia length information before a reply. | |
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