*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 1 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/29/2005 6:05:19 AM | i have also come to realise in my dating experiances that many men feel threatened by the thought of sharing a woman with her children. they also think twice about us mums as we have less time for the men we date.
when i tell them that my children have different fathers, im labelled a "tart" .. perhaps any men reading this could explain this one to me???
quite frankly im on the verge of becoming a nun!!!! | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/29/2005 6:15:23 AM | | Let them label all they want. Who are they to judge without knowing what the situation was like? In most cases the woman and child/ren are better off without the sperm donor. | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 3 | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 9:25:59 AM | | some men are scared but im not i am ready for the challenge. i am 28 yrs old | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 6:46:19 PM | let me apologize if what i'm about to say sounds harsh.........its not that men feel threatened by women with kids, its because they know that the presence of kids will have a major impact on the quality of the relationship....your priority should always be your kids, and most men know that!
more often than not.......the EX (or Ex'es) will always be in the picture, and men don't need that!
lastly, a woman does not usually inspire a sense of stability when she informs a man that her kids have different fathers. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 6:54:48 PM | lastly, a woman does not usually inspire a sense of stability when she informs a man that her kids have different fathers.
So you are saying if a woman becomes a widow she can not meet someone else and have other children? If she was with an abuser and left, she can not find love again and have another child. If the husband, or SO was cheating and screwing everything in sight, she's not allowed to leave?
Maybe you should look at why these single moms have the children to begin and not the father. Usually, because the mother is the best choice for the children, and the men are usually well nothing more than sperm donors. With a few exceptions along the way. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 7:03:28 PM | @cray
i did not imply that a 'widow' or a woman who was in an 'abusive' relationship couldn't meet someone else and 'have other children'
clearly, the author of this thread did not convey that she was neither a 'widow' or an 'abused' spouse!!!!
my opinion was based upon the context of the author's expressions! | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 7:08:04 PM | ^^^^^^and my opinion still stands.
Do not judge unless you are in that person's shoes. | |
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Beauch
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Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 7:28:07 PM | In most cases the woman and child/ren are better off without the sperm donor.
Only in a select few the children are better off with out the "sperm donor" or the egg donor All children should have their BOTH parents involved in thier lives. I know this from my own experiences in life. My dad was rarely around and he's still the same way. It has given me the drive to be there for my daughter nomatter how little my ex and I get along. My daughter deserves me in her life just like all children deserve BOTH parents to be fully involved in thier lives. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 7:31:39 PM | | ^^^^^^Yes children should have both parents in their lives, but it doesn't explain why so many fathers are leaving their child/ren behind now does it? I think there are less fathers involved in their children's life after a seperation. *not sure on that one though I"d have to look into it first* | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 12 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 11:23:03 PM | no sum1reel..you are quite right, it doesnt look good..im MORE than well aware of that.
HOWEVER, if a person took the time to listen and not INSTANTLY judge..they would find that its not a case of being unstable.
and i WONT ever justify having my children to anyone..if men are that shallow to judge so quickly in the first place..then i am obviously better off single!
ALSO..may i correct your comment.."more often than not.......the EX (or Ex'es) will always be in the picture, and men don't need that!"
i may be wrong and im sure you'll correct me if i am...but its usually men that have the problem with ex's...i have met a few childless men who just cant let go and simply love having the ex's tagging along behind. | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 11:25:56 PM | "clearly, the author of this thread did not convey that she was neither a 'widow' or an 'abused' spouse!!!!"
im not a widow neither have i been in an abusive relationship..but i have my reasons...they WERENT one night stands. | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 6/30/2005 11:39:23 PM | in some cases the children are better off with either the father OR the mother..thats a sad fact.
im not slating men.
2 of my childrens dads are wonderfull and would lay down their life for their kids..one of them has taken on the other 2 whose fathers we dont see.
i would never ever do anything to jepordise their relationship with them.
i want a soul mate like the rest of the world..why are you men so threatened by my kids?
and WHY should it matter to you which way i chose to have them? | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 12:21:13 AM | I aree with sasssy, if a man would be openminded enough to listen and get to know us single mothers before he judged us on the basis that we have children ( possibly with more than one guy), he may find that we are decent woman who unfortunately had reationships that did not last for whatever reason .....
I'm quite sure that if a single father was treated like some of us single mothers, he'd feel the same as we do ....
This reminds me of that old double standard: If a woman sleeps around she is considered a slut, but if a man sleeps around he's considered a hero .....
Some men face haveing children with more than one woman, why then is it so horrible for woman to have children with more than one guy? | |
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| Simple Adjustment
Posted: 7/1/2005 2:19:19 AM | | Adjustment! - That’s What The Name of the Game is. Equally difficult for the man to adjust as it is for the lady and child to adjust. I feel that if a man takes an interest in a lady with children, by the nature of his interest - he is accepting the child as an equal part of the relationship. Maybe women think men pre-judge? when in fact they may not? | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 17 | |
| Simple Adjustment
Posted: 7/1/2005 2:32:58 AM | ok..im honest and open as they come.
when i get interest (rare but can happen) i tell them straight up about the 4 kids 4 dads.
3 out of 5 men have then run at an amazing 120 mph and blocked me.
so is it a wonder we are wary when they have just done the judging?
men are not accepting..they are simply hoping for a decent explanation as to why im a single parent..and if that answer doesnt suit the "norm" they automaticaly assume that i must be a slut and go.
most men pre-judge. fact! | |
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| Simple Adjustment
Posted: 7/1/2005 7:28:30 AM | | i just have to tell you a little something . i was married for 9 years we had 3beautiful girls we had a great relationship. but one moring she woke up send she was tired of being tied down . she packed her bags and left us i had a 5 3 and a 1 yeard old to taktoday my gilrs have a great relationship with there mother.e care of and today they are still with me.last year i met the love of my life we moved into together she had 2 girls that lived with also.this yearshe had a massive heart attack and died . now i have her 2 girls . i have a 8,9,10,11 and 14 year old girls in my house . i dnt consider myself a sperm donor .. you know not all men are the same nor is all women . so dnt judge a book by its cover. i"ll always be in my girls life. nothing will ever change that. we come as a total package.it"s going to be hard for me to find true love. but i have come to except that. | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 19 | |
| Simple Adjustment
Posted: 7/1/2005 7:43:30 AM | im not judging anyone..i accept and respect the fact that there are single fathers out there too.
im just saying that the men ive met have judged me because i have children and i dont understand why.
it says in my profile that i have 4 lol so why ask then run???
i take my hat off to you true man! | |
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| Simple Adjustment
Posted: 7/1/2005 9:14:32 AM | | thank you sassy . i believe in todays society that it is all about looks and money. you know beauty is only skin deep . money cannot buy you true love . i respect everyone i never judge anyone that i dnt know . and there is alot of women leaving there children in todays society it is not all just men . you know that the court system favors for the female and that is y alot of men dnt have there children .no disrespect to you SASSSY I WOULD NOT JUDGE YOU BEFORE I GOT TO KNOW YOU I DEFINETLY WOULD NOT RUN JUST BECAUSE YAH HAVE KIDS. I LOVE KIDS . | |
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| Simple Adjustment
Posted: 7/1/2005 9:18:59 AM | | Trueman: My reply here was in reflection to single mothers only, and not the single dads that have an active role in their child's life. No one is putting anybody down here, but those who are closed minded. I am dating a single father right now and it has always been my preference. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 9:19:46 AM | I F YOU WHERE TRUELLY HAPPY AND IN LOVE YOU SURE WOULD NOT BE HERE ON A DATING SIGHT. YOU ARE  FOR SOMETHING BETTER .YOU ARELOOKING FOR YOU ARE LACKING IN LIFE MAYBE A SO CALLED SPERM DONOR . WE ARE NO LONGER GUYS OR MEN WE ARE SPERM DONORS | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 9:21:54 AM | ^^^ I am so not playing this game with you :)
Edited to add: This site is a community with a dating option.
I have removed all other profiles from other dating sites that only serviced people on the dating scene only. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 9:42:34 AM | | I REALLY DONT CARE JUDGE ME ALL YOU WANT . I KNOW WHO I AM . AND KNOW WHAT I WANT . I"M STICKING UP FOR ALL THE SPERM DONORS IN THE WORLD WHO GETS NO RECOGNITION .THERE IS JUST AS MANY WOMEN WHO HAS LEFT THERE CHILDREN TOO HATS OFF TO ALL THE SINGLE PARENTS MAN OR WOMEN . | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 9:45:40 AM |
have also come to realise in my dating experiances that many men feel threatened by the thought of sharing a woman with her children. they also think twice about us mums as we have less time for the men we date.
I've covered this already in another thread but the reasons are simple: Every single guy deserves a chance to be #1 in someone's life before having to give it up to the little ones.
If I dated a single mom, there would NEVER be a point in my life where I was a top priority to anyone. It would always be about the kids. What's best for the kids, what can we do to make them happy, how can we work around their schedule, etc.
No, I don't want that. I want a single female without kids. I want to HAVE kids with her someday. Kids that will grow up to look like ME and not somebody else. I want to pass MY genes on to another generation, not someone elses. And I want to be there from the BEGINNING. Standing in the hospital emergency room when he/she is born, and knowing that I can help guide them and shape their life from DAY ONE, not catch them when they're 4 or 5 years old. :)
when i tell them that my children have different fathers, im labelled a "tart" .. perhaps any men reading this could explain this one to me???
If you were a man, how would women see you? Oh hi, I've got three kids, each of them has a different mother. (Watch how fast they run if they sense a man that can't keep it in his pants.)
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