| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/3/2009 2:41:19 PM | I'm rarely contacted by local men in my age bracket. Being 45 myself, I consider 40something year old men to be in my preferred age range. I'm not sure if it's me/my profile that isn't attractive to those men, or if it's a case of men when they hit the big 4 0 preferring women a decade or more younger than themselves.
That would explain why the bulk of my messages are from men under the age of 35, or over the age of 55. It seems to be this way even in real life situations.
I'm not a cougar, I don't see myself dating someone that much younger than myself, and yet I don't find myself attracted to men a great deal older either.
Is this a case of midlife crisis thing? Do some feel that dating a woman around their own age will make them feel *old*? | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/3/2009 2:45:01 PM | Men under the age of 35, or over the age of 55 are more likely to be single
The time span (35-55) is when many men (and women too) get married, have children, and by 55 get divorced. It's just demographics. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/3/2009 3:29:56 PM | This is the one time I've actually found myself disagreeing with Landra.....
It would seem to me that for every forty something year old divorced woman (of which there are a LOT) , there is also a forty something year old divorced MAN who appeared in the divorce court at the same time with her... because MOST pairings are usually no more than five years apart. It's only when everybody is in their forties, and alone, that they start considering people in different age brackets, along with the thiry and fifty somethings that the OP is experiencing.
OP....you're probably not the only one experiencing this.... It stands to reason that there's a fifty year old woman wanting to know why men her age are wanting the FORTY year old women.... While the thirty year old woman is wanting to know why men are wanting the twenty something year olds.... It's possible that these people have experienced bad things with people in their same age bracket, and opting for something 'different'.....
Admittedly, and only because my brother has a wife who is twelve years his junior, and has been happy for ten years, I've now considered going into the thirty something age bracket for myself. I AM attracted to women my own 'mid forties' age still as well. But I'm weighing all the options at this point. Age might not be the ultimate determinate in my search. It's going to be more along the lines of a 'value system'. So I don't really know yet as to who will meet that, or what age she'll fall into within a ten year, plus or minus, span........ but that's just me..... | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/3/2009 4:02:49 PM | I would say that 80-90% of the women I approach and/or have contact with are within 2-3 years of my own age (48). There have been a very select few over the years that have gone outside of that but they have been few and far between - usually because of some unique happenstance based upon some common experiences.
So yes, there are men in their 40s that are attracted to women in their 40s. Me! lol | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/3/2009 4:17:51 PM | Hi Op well I would have contacted you as we are in the same state and same age bracket. I have "read" your profile and think your quite attractive ..and you look good too. Alas I am out of your distance range of 25 miles, but I'd be willing to meet you halfway  Not all men in their forties have their sights set on younger women for whatever relationship they seek. Some of us are looking for women in our own age group and would never consider ourselves "old" for doing so. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/3/2009 6:41:29 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.................................
OP.. just put age limits on your profile looking for men between the ages of 35 and 55.. and see how few e-mails (if any) you do get.
Bet there won't be many!
At least.. that's been my experience.. and that's with an age limit between 45 and 60!
I'm 50.
The biology factors.. don't seem to figure in to my dilemma.
Maybe.. it's the geographics.. and not the demographics. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/3/2009 8:53:44 PM | | hi buckeye. you're cute and have a nice profile. i'd hit a bucket with you. landra as usual hit the nail on the head. many men(though not me) are looking for that last chance at a trophy girl. plus 40s is the age that kids start leaving the nest. unfortunately, the midlife crisis that men often feel plays into this. as inxs said "don't change". good luck | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/3/2009 9:48:10 PM | I think you're probably right Korky, maybe I should expand my age bracket, but I generally find myself most attracted to men within 5 yrs or so my own age, always have. It just struck me as odd that the bulk of the messages I receive aren't from 40 somethings.
Thank you Notdesper8atall, kind of you to say. Yes I have the distance limitation for various reasons, but that's another thread topic.
redarcangel I don't have any email restrictions as far as age goes. I occasionally post in the forums and I also attend local POF parties and have made friends of various ages through them. I do however state in the body of my profile my age preferences. Yes, I realize that not all read them, and my profile isn't one of the shorter ones.
Bugspro, I suck at golf! I think that's what hitting the bucket means, right?! | |
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| age is just a number
Posted: 4/4/2009 1:03:36 AM | | its the attraction that i look at, my only limits is that i would not want to go to young. i think most of the women on this site are nice and i commend them for taking the chances at the online dating. the biggest problem that they encounter is men soliciting them for sex and that well always be a issue. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 1:51:55 AM | Buckeyegal1963 your post was really thought provoking. Not all men in a given age range are the same. Some act older some younger. Some younger men are well grounded and wonderful, some men age 55 are done doing the arm candy stuff and want a woman who is smart and not a stick in the mud.
What if you thought outside the box and allowed someone between 35 and 55 into the possibilities? Then there is the whole statistical aspect of someone from a smaller state with a smaller population base, who with more age or distance restrictions will mean fewer number of single men/women overall to choose from.
You may missing the perfect fit based on age restrictions. Something even I had to rethink. And am glad I did.
~Beth~ | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 7:17:47 AM | When I first started dating again 15 years ago my first date was with a woman 48 and I was 51. I had no clue as to what age woman I might find attractive and what age woman might find me attractive because I had been married over 25 years. I fully expected to date women near my own age. I had yet to establish where I would be successful in the dating world, if at all. Then I happened to meet a 40 year old with whom I was in a relationship for 4 years. The next ltr woman was 20 years younger, 37 when I was 57 and the one after that was 41 when I was 60. I met all these women in the real world, not over the internet. These were all great relationships and ended for reasons other than age differences. I still see and spend time and even travel with each of these three women from time to time.
Currently, when I socialize and meet new women I have no particular age in mind. The chemistry is there or it is not. Frankly, I do not try to determine a woman's age when I meet her. Yet it almost always turns out the woman is at least 15 years younger than I am. The median age is around 20 years younger although I have dated and still occasionally see one 33 years younger. One of the reasons I gave up on internet dating is that over 80% of the women I met or recognized from their profile photos lied about their ages. The two who stand out in my mind who I knew from dating them myself did not lie about their ages. They are very successful at meeting men on internet dating sites. They both tend to date men 10 to 15 years older than they are, by the way.
My suggestion, OP, is that you get out and socialize, find some men to whom you are attracted and they to you. See what works out for you in the real versus the cyber world. You just may find a man in his forties for yourself. Good luck! | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 7:57:43 AM | yes we are attracted to our own age group (for instance you look great) but here's a thought on the subject: if a guy's in his 40's, divorced, has older kids, etc..., he's more interested in enjoying himself, having fun and though maybe not opposed to a serious relationship, he wants the fun and excitement to lead to that relationship. women of the same age TYPICALLY are skeptical, want the relationship first then the excitement, and their "maturity" and "experiences" act as defensive walls that guys my age arent looking to climb. we spent enough years married trying to scale those walls. being a little carefree isnt a bad thing ladies. alternatively, younger women TYPICALLY arent as defensive, jaded, or jilted and will let their hair down, show affection more freely, and truthfully, dont USUALLY make sex a reward for good behavior. thats what marriage became for too many of us and i'm not willing to play that game anymore.
disclaimer (there has to be a disclaimer....lol): this does not apply to everyone and there are many exceptions but my experience has more or less been as described anyway, good luck to all and hopefully everyone finds what/who makes them happy!!! | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:01:01 AM | The millions of ways people hypothesize their results are entertaining but the actual reasons are almost always simple. I'm sure the scientists reading these threads are overdosing on some powerful drug they must take to keep from screaming in their sleep after watching their treasured approach to truth violated with such flippancy.
I wore my blue jacket to the store and they were out of olives. Do you think stores sell olives only to men wearing red jackets? And why did the store have bread and cheese for me to buy? That's not what I went shopping for. Does anyone else who wears a blue jacket have the same problem buying olives? | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:13:18 AM | | Actually age is important to me well let me take that back. I want to date someone that has a certain maturity about them. Can handle there lives meaning money, where they live, how they get around and what they do that makes sense to me and a certain attractiveness as anyone would care for. For me these qualities put limits on me as in many cases the 20-30 somethings can be inmature and the more experienced ladies of the late 50's & 60's put me into that inmature catagory. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 12:06:29 PM | | Personally I like women in their 40's, but I keep running into women in that age group who think I'm too old (49) for them, even though some of them are 47-48yo. I get more email and responses from women in their upper 50's. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 1:13:36 PM |
Personally I like women in their 40's, but I keep running into women in that age group who think I'm too old (49) for them Well, that's surprising. Do they actually say you are too old for them? There are men in their late 40's who look to me as old as men in their 50's, and men in their 50's who look quite young. It is really individual. Based on your photo, you don't seem to be one of those 40 something men who look 50 fifty something. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 1:48:46 PM | It's a fair question. Many men do want to try their hand with a younger woman for reasons of ego. Men are competitive by nature, and biology implanted in us makes us consider age as a factor.
I consider anyone who has something to offer that is attractive to me as a person. If a guy is secure with himself, he will not have a problem being with someone of a different age. It is more of a case by case basis IMO. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 5:49:27 PM | I'm rarely contacted by local men in my age bracket. Being 45 myself, I consider 40something year old men to be in my preferred age range.
I would say keep trying. I personally can't see why any man in his 40's would not want to date such an attractive lady.
I'm not sure if it's me/my profile that isn't attractive to those men, or if it's a case of men when they hit the big 4 0 preferring women a decade or more younger than themselves.
Just my take on men over 40 dating women a decade or so younger. I personally find that I much prefer the intellect of an older mature woman. As pretty as a younger woman may be, when most of them speak a major disconnect happens for me. I prefer a woman who can communicate intelligently and when you add the maturity and experience into the equation; nothing can compare. I find nothing more annoying than the way younger generations speak, it is just so immature. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:22:26 PM | Perhaps I shouldn't have used myself as an example, while I appreciate the compliments, that's not what I was aiming for when I started this thread.
I was a member of another popular personal's site, I'd generally search profiles 40-50, and it seemed a majority of them had put down seeking women 18-40. Occasionally, I'd see one who would accept women up to the same age as they, rarely did I see any that listed even a couple of years older. I respect others preferences, so consequently I didn't initiate contact.
I know there isn't any one answer to my question obviously, I just don't understand I suppose how it appears to be many men who will only consider/browse/contact women younger than themselves. Or the opposite it seems, much younger men contacting older women, but I think we all know what that's usually about.
Maybe you all are right and I should go outside my age range, I was seeing a 47 yr old man I met from this site, and well...well we'll just say that maybe you're right, lol. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:02:54 PM | Pigeonholed again...in 2 lines or less...ya know...sometimes my words of wisecrack go all the way out to 3...maybe 4 lines..on a good day...
Landra:Men under the age of 35, or over the age of 55 are more likely to be single
The time span (35-55) is when many men (and women too) get married, have children, and by 55 get divorced. It's just demographics. Demograpics....I usually use that to differeniate economic disparity....
Irish | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:19:30 PM | Just an FYI, "Hitting the bucket" depends on what part of the country you're in.
Here in south Texas, it generally means you're pretty accurate with your eatin' tobacco.
If the topic is proficiency with firearms, we refer to someone who isn't very good as:
"(S)he couldn't hit a bucket if it was on his / her head."
This cultural awareness moment was brought to you by the Lone Star State. The cultural quiz for next week is:
Why does the Texas State Flag fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag in the State Capitol, Austin? | |
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