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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?      Home login  
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 tootsietoes
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 1
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?Page 1 of 1    
I have talked to several men on here, things were going well or so I thought. We exchanged emails, then IMs and then Bam just before the phone call. He disappears, what gives. Can I be saying the worng thing ALL the time???
 Flyinkev
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 2
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:32:31 PM
The ladies do it too, I'm all ears for why!
 jbking2
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 3
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:35:49 PM
I doubt you are saying the wrong thing all the time. Perhaps there are those who fear that over the phone their charade would come to an end and thus have to pull the plug on it.
 Katydid77
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 4
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:37:24 PM
Sometimes things fizzle.

I have experienced the fizzle too. Not always pretty, but whatcha gonna do?
 UnexpectedError
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 5
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:43:17 PM
On the rare occasion that I do that, it's either because the latest email was so profoundly boring that it leaves me no possible response, or so profoundly unintelligent that it's obvious I'd never be able to respect the person; in either case, better to just cease communication than tell them I think they're dull or borderline incoherent.
 Heptone
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 6
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:44:39 PM
With I had some intelligent ideas for you ... but I certainly don't.
You know, because it's a "dating" site, its kind of a candy store, where people (men and women) tend to have pretty high expectations. It's feels like you have the pick of the litter among a few million choices and all you have to do is follow some unwritten dating rules and, bingo, all is solved. Then, it turns out behind the computers are real people, who are fickle, scheming and unpredictable as hell.
I'm not being a cynic, but real people just don't follow the rules very often in the dating game. Wait til you go on a nice date and find out that "Call me, this was fun," really means, "you will never hear from me again." That happens, too.
Like I say, wish I had something tangible that would help. Sat. night around here, too...and my phone has been pretty quiet of late these days, too.
 Flyinkev
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 7
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:55:00 PM

On the rare occasion that I do that, it's either because the latest email was so profoundly boring that it leaves me no possible response, or so profoundly unintelligent that it's obvious I'd never be able to respect the person; in either case, better to just cease communication than tell them I think they're dull or borderline incoherent.


Why do you think it's better to not tell them why you don't want to talk any more? For various reasons, I've sworn to myself that I will never do that to anyone. Anyone who contacts me will get a response, and I will never simply stop communicating without giving a reason. Personally I ALWAYS prefer they tell me, no exceptions.
 GerberData
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 8
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:57:31 PM
I don't think u need to look at yourself, just think about it a bit. In real life, most of the guys u meet u would never date. Its even worse here because I belive a lot of the people on here are truly "crap". If 5% on here are truly dateable, I'd be surprised. What that adds up to is 95% or more of the guys u talk to on here are just really not worth your time. Reality is, you are lucky they aren't wasting anymore of your time. Wait for the good one to come along :)
 UnexpectedError
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 9
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:03:34 PM

Why do you think it's better to not tell them why you don't want to talk any more? For various reasons, I've sworn to myself that I will never do that to anyone. Anyone who contacts me will get a response, and I will never simply stop communicating without giving a reason. Personally I ALWAYS prefer they tell me, no exceptions.


The only times I've ever been the one to stop communicating, they contacted me first--and even though I wasn't really interested after reading their profiles, I replied anyway to give them a chance. That's more courtesy than most around here. :p But we don't really want to get into THAT subject, do we?
 Geofunk1987
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 10
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:08:00 PM
Depends, who's initiating the next level of conversation?

I know for myself whenever a woman gives me her number freely it's typically a bad sign.
 Kaptain Obvious
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 11
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:16:08 PM
Yeah....here's the problem... you didn't give ME your phone number........
 dharmadude
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 12
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:20:45 PM
It could be :

1. A change of heart. The guy may have been playing along, getting to know you through e-correspondence, not having decided if he wants to take it to the next level. When it is face to face time the guy decides not to proceed. To bad so many guys don't have the cajones to be honest and let the girl know.

2. He gets scared. Yes, some guys are big wussies. They are afraid that they won't measure up in some way or another. They don't want to face refection. Oh, well...another night of kickin' it wit da hommies. Of course scaredy cats aren't going to call and say, "I'm too scared."

3. He may have been working on two leads (OK, call it playin if you will) and both are developing at the same time and he choose the other over you. Them's the breaks, as they say. This actually happened around two years ago when I was dating and I decided on one when I had two viable options. It was a tough decision. I think I may have made the wrong one, but I will never know. At least I had the decency to call and let choice number two down gently. My mom raised me right.

All 3 scenarios are the guy, not you. You’ve got to get away from thinking that there is something wrong with you if the guy doesn’t come through.

You’re a good looking women and you’ve got a solid profile, just like you said; short, sweet and simple. I’d be chatting you up if I lived in your neck of the woods. Just be yourself and stay positive. These things take time.
 Jrome83
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 13
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History
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:21:24 PM
I would stop communicating with a girl if she didn't give me something to respond too.

Like if they weren't inquisitive or didn't ask me any questions.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 14
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History
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:39:20 PM
Don't assume it's you...it happens to all of us...some people just change their mind, or chicken out, or weren't genuine in the first place...

I am in the camp of I'd rather know they were ending the connection ( they don't have to tell me specifically why even, just say something? Or something generic..),because I always do if I change my mind. Since I don't talk to women as romantic interests I can't say what other women do, just know I always let them know. In my case, I'm pretty sure several of them were just afraid to tell me, so, I guess I can be happy that I have more courage of convictions than they do.

I know it drives you nuts..just don't let it. Chalk it up to one of the less pleasant things about online dating.
 hamango
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 15
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:03:15 PM
Because it's not the middle for them, but the end. There is a time zone difference between their point of view and yours. The end came sooner for them.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 16
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History
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:29:26 PM
Darlin your a gorgeous gal. It may well be your dealing with folks that are not what they claim to be and chicken out before they get exposed.

Its not you. Ok its partly you maybe for picking weenie guys but thats all (wink)

Maybe your man screener mechanism needs a slight tuneup?

Best of Luck

Cowboy
 Telenochek
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 17
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:45:42 PM

It could be :

1. A change of heart. The guy may have been playing along, getting to know you through e-correspondence, not having decided if he wants to take it to the next level. When it is face to face time the guy decides not to proceed. To bad so many guys don't have the cajones to be honest and let the girl know.

2. He gets scared. Yes, some guys are big wussies. They are afraid that they won't measure up in some way or another. They don't want to face refection. Oh, well...another night of kickin' it wit da hommies. Of course scaredy cats aren't going to call and say, "I'm too scared."

3. He may have been working on two leads (OK, call it playin if you will) and both are developing at the same time and he choose the other over you. Them's the breaks, as they say. This actually happened around two years ago when I was dating and I decided on one when I had two viable options. It was a tough decision. I think I may have made the wrong one, but I will never know. At least I had the decency to call and let choice number two down gently. My mom raised me right.

All 3 scenarios are the guy, not you. You’ve got to get away from thinking that there is something wrong with you if the guy doesn’t come through.

You’re a good looking women and you’ve got a solid profile, just like you said; short, sweet and simple. I’d be chatting you up if I lived in your neck of the woods. Just be yourself and stay positive. These things take time.


You forgot #4:
He may be an "online roleplaying" person.
E.g. married, much more overweight, or other problems that are hard to pick up over IM / e-mail.

No big deal OP!
 MercutiosGhost
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 18
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:51:31 PM
You know the fact that this site is free and it takes soooo little time to set up a profile, pretty much makes it a fantastic trolling tool right?
 nocatchyname
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 19
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/5/2009 12:40:20 AM
Good for you for looking at yourself rather than all these guys for the problem, and not becoming bitter and coming here making another horrible, completely whiny generalization "why do all guys do this" thread.

As for this, no it's probably not actually you, as for the reasons laid out by others and possibly many more (which I'm much to lazy to reitterate or think of).
 retired67
Joined: 1/6/2009
Msg: 20
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:04:01 AM
If I recieve email from a lady,I will email back.If the lady is not interested,it is easyto tell. You get an email about every 3 days,and it is very boring.Even with email,you have to keep up the conversation.A one sided conversation,just dont get it.
 originalNw
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 21
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History
Why do some men stop communicating right in the middle?
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:14:59 AM
Like many other people " telling you that your the "one" in their life....Cold FEET seems to apply here.IT"S NOT what you told him ,it"s what he heard. Blame him ,no one else.




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