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 AmFun2BWith
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 1
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?Page 1 of 1    
When a guy says "we have good chemistry" what does that mean to him? If all encounters with each other, even the first, have immediately been explosively sexual, (honestly, like gasoline poured on a fire!), can that ever turn into a meaningful and lasting relationship for a guy, or will he think of it forever as just sex? Thanx guys....
 jbking2
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 2
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:09:38 AM
To me, good chemistry would mean that the guy feels better after having spent some time with a gal. He looks forward to talking to her, making plans for dates and other activities, that he "lights up" when talking about her. In a sense there is magic to it.

If all encounters, even the first, have immediately been explosively sexual, it can turn into a meaningful and lasting relationship for a guy. The key is what happens when the sexual dynamic fades and what other aspects of the relationship may come to be how the relationship is defined.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 3
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:19:56 AM
Chemistry means the same thing as it does to a gal, I would imagine. It means you connect well with each other, get along great, with mutual attraction that you both realize.

But that's not what you're really asking. You met a guy for the first time, had great "chemistry" and hopped in the sack, right? Now you're wondering if a meaningful relationship can come out of it and not just sex in his mind, right?

Wait and see. It could, or it couldn't. Shouldn't be too long to see how it plays out for ya. If he isn't at all available over the course of the next few days (dont be too pushy tho!), then he just had "a good time". If he wants to set up a 2nd date, which should have been suggested after you guys rolled out of bed, then yeah, he wants to go down that path.

Sex early-on or not, or explosive chemistry off the bat or not -- whether it's going to be a long-lasting relationship can't be predicted to happen. Just because something fizzles out really early, doesn't mean they never WERE that into you... they very well could have been.
 championsofnothing
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 4
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:32:49 AM
This is a pretty difficult question to answer, as it's going to vary from person to person . I mean 'chemistry' for ME seems to be something quite intangible. I've met great, pretty girls who seem to be everything you would want in a relationship but for whatever reason there just isn't that strong odd thing called chemistry between the two of you. For whatever reason you could see yourself being with them but it doesn't feel quite right, or you aren't strongly drawn to them.

I mean you might be physically attracted to them and drawn to them for that reason, but as a whole package something is lacking.

Maybe chemistry is just odd little feelings in your heart and soul that can't be explained.

Sorry I know my little ramblings probably aren't much help. x.x.

As for having sex right away... I mean I can't paint all men with the same brush but I'd say more often than not a person who has sex right when they meet someone is more interested in the sex itself than a relationship with you. Of course there are exceptions....
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:54:39 AM
I think championsofnothing has probably said more than he thinks... Guys can be attracted to you but still not have "chemistry" or a "spark" or whatever you call it and suspect it is the same for both sexes...I can be attracted to a lot of ladies, but few will have that spark and need for something long-term.
 WhiteWaterRogue
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 6
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:54:55 AM

can that ever turn into a meaningful and lasting relationship for a guy
only if you don't ever talk.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 7
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:59:03 AM
Chemistry can be a connection of things including physical attraction, personality, compatibility ( having some common interests, beliefs, values ) etc
 Chancy54
Joined: 4/3/2009
Msg: 8
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 12:13:41 PM

"can that ever turn into a meaningful and lasting relationship for a guy"
only if you don't ever talk.

Now that's funny! No truer words have ever been spoken.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 9
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 12:20:00 PM

When a guy says "we have good chemistry" what does that mean to him? If all encounters with each other, even the first, have immediately been explosively sexual, (honestly, like gasoline poured on a fire!), can that ever turn into a meaningful and lasting relationship for a guy, or will he think of it forever as just sex?


Chemistry is like a two part epoxy. When blended, they bond and fuse, creating a long lasting, durable product.

I think some people confuse infactuation with chemistry.
 hamango
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 10
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 12:41:24 PM
"just sex" would stop me in my tracks. I've had sex. It's not something to be dismissed lightly.
 bogiedave
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 11
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 1:06:16 PM
chemistry has a lot to do with feeling comfortable being myself around someone, and feeling that they like me as i am. some people have made me feel like i had to avoid saying or doing a lot of what i felt like saying or doing...and that is a turn off for me.

it also helps if they smile :)
 _carl_
Joined: 4/3/2009
Msg: 12
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 1:11:20 PM
Its not a term that has one particular meaning, and not one id personally use. it could mean he likes your personality, you have commonalities, you satisfy him sexually. it could mean absolutely anything.
 ubkobalt
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 13
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 1:38:08 PM
She's not a challenge, it just works.
 AmFun2BWith
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 14
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 3:56:12 PM
Wow, thanks for the great answers, guys. AND a few chuckles! LOL

Azure, we've been together almost every week for the past 4 months, so I guess we got past that 2nd date you wrote about.

Hermango, I don't think sex is something to be taken lightly, for sure. Most women cannot have sex with a man without falling in love with him, regardless of what she might say. I used the "just" word because, from what I've been told, have read about, and the way it appears, men are different in that respect.

I'm just trying to understand how men think, like most of us girls out here.....lol.

Thanks again, I appreciate your time.
 Kaptain Obvious
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 15
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 4:20:33 PM
I've used this analogy before.....

Some see chemistry as being the combining of uranium and plutonium.....high heat and intensity....thus causing a nuclear reaction.... These, however....usually lead to mass destruction....

I see my chemistry as being Hydrogen and Oxygen.....it makes water... it just flows... it's life giving... and even if impurities sometimes get accidentally added in....they can be easily filtered out...
 DaveB951
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 16
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Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 4:26:33 PM
When you as a woman, finds all the qualities, on all the levels that you seek in a man and when he as a man, finds all the qualities, on all the levels that he seeks in a woman....

and then some ......
 PASSINGLAYNE
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 17
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 4:43:47 PM
CHEMISTRY TO ME? THERE IS A CONNECTION! A LOT OF THE SAME INTEREST, YOU HAVE BEEN TO PLACES OR SEEN THE THINGS YOUR PARTNER HAS! YOU CAN GO INTO A CONVERSATION AND TALK ANY SUBJECT YOU WOULD LIKE, YOU FEEL COMFORT WITH ONE ANOTHER, CHEMISTRY IS GOOD! CHEMISTRY IS VITAL WHEN MEETING A PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME! WITHOUT CHEMISTRY A RELATIONSHIP IS DOOMED AND VERY BORING.
 GreySpot
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 18
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Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 7:15:36 PM
Well, I don't know what chemistry means, I never use the term. But strong physical attraction is a good thing if you are dating, not a negative. Come on now, marriage is a sexual relationship, 'least last time I looked. How soon is too soon? It's only too soon if you are not yet comfortable and secure with him. You are more likely to kill the budding relationship by holding back too long. Back when I was dating, if a woman I liked wanted to wait for weeks or months, I would just assume she wasn't really attracted to me or else had some hangups from her past that would make her a poor match. Of course it takes more than sexual attraction to make a good relationship, but that is surely one of the essentials. I know for me and for a lot of men I suppose, it had to do with how I felt afterward. Did we connect emotionaly and spiritually as wel as physically. Did the conection increase with time or begin to fade away?
 johnnylange
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 19
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Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 7:42:39 PM
Well if you're speaking of chemistry, in the sense that on your first date, you don't have much in common, there wasn't much conversation about anything real, and right after dinner, you both jumped into bed and it was "sex on fire" then you both were most likely just really horny.

However, if you mean chemistry in the sense that you both could speak to each other on a very honest level, shared a lot of the same views/values, had a good conversation that went on for hours, etc and would definitely consider dating this person again then you have a much better shot at a meaningful and lasting relationship.
 NoQuarterGiven
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 20
Chemistry....what does it mean to a guy?
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:57:18 PM
Chemistry means being able to have a conversation for hours and not grope for something to talk about. It means genuinely thinking what the person's saying is funny/interesting, not having to fake it. It's when both of you just "know".

It's an unspoken thing, and speaking about would really ruin it, but it's mutual and real. Neither person has to put on a mask to impress the other.
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