| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 8:56:37 AM | Have you ever stopped to think about how your forum personality compares to how you come across in person? Do you feel or have you been told that the way you come across on the forums accurately represents you in real life meeting or dating situation?
The last five forum posts displayed prominently on most profiles make it tough to miss comments made by a potential date. Your post may have a significant impact on how potential dates perceive you. My profile exists purely to post on these forums. For an actual dating profile, I find that making no forum posts at all offer me better odds as a guy. Heaven forbid I post frequently in the sex forums. As it stands, I post whatever I want to say without hesitation and without regard to what others may think.
In a lot of ways, the forums can represent an extension of your dating profile if you let them. But most would agree, some things have no business being on a dating profile and would have a direct negative impact on actual dating experiences.
What are your thoughts? | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 9:06:40 AM | potentially someone will look at my forum posts and say no thank you.
someone else will look at my profile and say are you kidding me?
so i say no big deal. there are plenty of fish in the sea. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 9:13:16 AM | Gosh I am too old to care about being someone I am not on these forums.
What I write is something I would tell you straight up, and in person.
SO, no I have no qualms about someone reading my posts, it is a accurate reflection of who I am. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 9:50:42 AM | I could care less if my forum posts show on my profile. I would encourage gals to investigate forum posts whenever they see them on a dating profile. I think they often more accurately represent what you going to get in person then their carefully prepped profile especially if you post all the time. I know so much more about what kind of person a lot of the forum regulars are from reading their posts so long then I ever would a normal member here.
Both the last two gals I have dated here knew a lot about me way before we met because they were avid forum readers. And I post a lot every day.
It definitely changes that first meeting entirely as they feel they know me so much more then a regular first meet I promise. Sorta strange as they already know what I think and feel about a lot of dating and general life situations for sure.
Best of Luck
Cowboy | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 9:57:19 AM | What I write is something I would tell you straight up, and in person.
SO, no I have no qualms about someone reading my posts, it is a accurate reflection of who I am.
Same here.
I actually mentioning it in my profile, that if you want to now more check out some of my forum posts. So, my profile doesn't have to be that long.
I think it's a good way to view a person, the way they think.
If you BS in the forums, you BS in life., I think. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 10:14:34 AM | I have always said that attitude and personality shows up on the forums.
I agree with zuglo you are who you are in the forums. And saying you dont care what you think lol thats a great way to stay single.
But hey they dont care so it dosant matter I use these forums for a bit of fun. With some of my answers serious.What I read is how I answer to the subject matter and not the person writing the thread.
There will always be yappers always be players. and there will always be someone who thinks they know everything.
Having said that this is just a page on a screen on a site,which is a spec in cyberspce.
What will be will be
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 10:34:04 AM | To quote Popeye (and I do love to stand on table tops to sing his song), "I yam what I yam." If a man is going to reject me for my thoughts, passions, opinions, and interests, he might as well do it before we meet rather than getting together and then finding out that he can't stand my beliefs on any topic.
However, if someone were so biasedprejudiced as to reject me for what I say, that person is inflexible, and if someone is so inflexible that he/she cannot agree to disagree, then that person has no place in my life. Yup, there are some things that would kill a potential relationship for me, but they are severe.
In addition, postings on forums cannot convey nuances in voice and other aspects. People also have reading comprehension problems or take posts out of context. I have been labeled a man hater by a couple of men on these forums, and I do NOT hate men. I might dislike specific men, but to condemn half the species for the actions of some or because of past suppression of women is just silly. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 10:53:08 AM | Without reservation, I am unapologetically opinionated, passionate, w/ an irreverent ( read sarcastic) wit which my posts reflects.. I do not post anything in the forums which I would not say or do in person...If a person reads my posts and decide they can't deal well that's fair and they can step..
It's only a win for me because it weeds out people who would not be a good match for me.. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 11:09:35 AM | | These forums are quite addicting, an ideal environment to practice freedom of expression. Besides the gym, they're also an ideal resource for releasing some steam. And if you want people to get a snippet of your true persona, I say to hell with the compatibility tests - - - display your true wares in the forums!!! | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 11:47:25 AM | | I'm me and if a woman reads what I post, she'll know something about me. If she doesn't like what I post, she probably won't like me, so I don't care or worry about it. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 11:49:23 AM | Nah - what life? I'm thoroughly addicted to the forums... I can't wait to add my buck fifty. I love to write and I have an opinion for all occasions. I have put a disclaimer on the profile saying don't judge me by the last 5 posts, but anyone who knows me knows my mind is like a game of squash or racketball... somethings alway firing and often from left field.
I have stopped posting tidbits in the sex forums - too many wackos came out of the woodwork. Some people enjoy my writing and find me witty, weird, and wise. Others think I'm an idiot... they're all right. Men that I prefer are of a similar nature... I blame it on too much Bugs Bunny as a child...
The forums have not to my knowledge had a negative impact on my dating. None of the guys I have dated even know what the forums are. They just think I'm here trolling for more... I won't give up my fun. It's all Cowboy's fault... he told me to check out the forums... | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 12:05:00 PM | Good question. Most folks I date seem oblivious to the forums. I'm pretty sarcastic and direct by nature and my posts are a good reflection of that. I shy away from personal detail about myself and I don't discuss dates and/or relationships I've had with folks because it's not right.  I would be interested to know if folks would or would not contact someone based on what they have posted on the forums. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 12:29:55 PM |
I would be interested to know if folks would or would not contact someone based on what they have posted on the forums.
I would or would not based on the person's ability to articulate and reason in their posts, not necessarily what they post in terms of their opionions. I don't have a problem with differences of opinion, but I do have a problem with arguments based on irrational emotional and knee-jerk reactions which are propped up with a lot of rationalizations. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 1:07:03 PM | I contacted my partner based on his forum posts. I still like how he writes. The conversation of everyday life tends to be used up with the practical, leaving little space for expressing a philosophical or reflective response. That's what writing is for. Talking doesn't work quite the same. We talked online a lot before we met and I don't think there's much difference between how we are online and how we are in real life -- obviously no deal-breaking differences anyway. He writes his thoughts and I write mine and each of us likes the way the other one thinks and how we are in real life corresponds closely to how we think and feel.
I often find it easier to understand what is written above what is spoken and to express my thoughts in writing rather than aloud and so it is that in writing I feel fewer barriers rather than more. I like to be as clear and unambiguous as I can be and having time to choose my words enables me to express my thoughts and feelings more accurately than I feel able to achieve in real life. Readers do miss out on the face-pulling, of course, but that can be very misleading anyway. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 1:11:57 PM |
As it stands, I post whatever I want to say without hesitation and without regard to what others may think.
I guess I think enough of myself to not care what others think of my posts. I'm not one to hide who and what I am.
If your not 100% real your fake!
Most of the fav's on my profile are from my posting. 1/2 of the women that e-mail me wanting to meet are from my postings. Seems to work for me! | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 1:32:56 PM | My thoughts OP is to be real; it's disturbing that you are trying to make people think twice about their posts because it may make them look bad to a potential dater.
Just be who you are and things will be fine. It's not about image, but about who you are; this isnt' a car add. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 1:35:25 PM |
Have you ever stopped to think about how your forum personality compares to how you come across in person? Do you feel or have you been told that the way you come across on the forums accurately represents you in real life meeting or dating situation?
OP -- Anyone that knows me well enough would say that what I post here is just the tip of the iceberg as far as how I am in real life. What gets said here, and the feelings and thoughts that get conveyed represent the smallest piece of a much MUCH larger picture. They know that. Strangers won't. So they'll judge based on what they have available to make some conclusion with.
And it's welcomed. Those strangers out there can feel free to judge me based off whatever they can use as far as material. Maybe they're right and maybe they're wrong...only those that know me personally would know for sure.
The last five forum posts displayed prominently on most profiles make it tough to miss comments made by a potential date. Your post may have a significant impact on how potential dates perceive you. My profile exists purely to post on these forums. For an actual dating profile, I find that making no forum posts at all offer me better odds as a guy. Heaven forbid I post frequently in the sex forums. As it stands, I post whatever I want to say without hesitation and without regard to what others may think.
Yep indeed...and that all falls back to judgement calls. They see a post I've made and rationalize if they'll approach or if they'll keep looking. According to the fem-nazi's out there, I'll be alone the rest of my life just based off what they read...if they only knew how wrong they were.
But we all need something to help us sleep better at night.
I won't take that away from them.
In a lot of ways, the forums can represent an extension of your dating profile if you let them. But most would agree, some things have no business being on a dating profile and would have a direct negative impact on actual dating experiences.
It's actually a DIRECT extension of the profile actually. If your profile makes you sound all loving and nurturing, a little scarred from past hurts but coping, and intellectual who thinks that men/women are just about the greatest things alive...but then you see posts filled with spurious commentary that would paint a completely different picture...well, one has to wonder. The profile should match up with the posts in some manner.
All the validation you'd need for that comes with the frequency of users that post the same question, "How do I get my posts removed from my profile?! HELP!"
Because they know that what they've said in their profile will be shattered by what they posted in the forums.
So in my mind, it's more a DIRECT extension actually...not just a representation.
And thusly, if it has a direct negative impact on your candidacy for dating...maybe you shouldn't be lying on your profile, or just not posting to forums. Create a contradiction and people will notice.
Not all of them have the IQ of a houseplant...most are very savvy. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 1:41:49 PM | | What is written in my forum posts are things that I would say in real life if being solicited for advice or just being a goofball. My posts are just another way to get a better glimpse of the multi-faceted person that sits in front of this computer. We all have our opinions. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 2:23:37 PM | | I think forums bring out my thoughts and personality. It brings my pic to life. Guys say they don't read them, but I doubt it. What else would guys who view me regularly be looking at? (not my pretty face lol). I even get some who want more children. Can't help you there, buddy. I sealed the deal already. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 3:48:34 PM | I post my opinions and suggestions on here because I mean them. I am no different here than I am in real life except that I am careful about what I reveal with regard to my personal life.
I've met men on here who have followed me by my posts and those gave us topics of conversation out in the real world.
SARL | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 3:57:01 PM | Of course I think my on line personality matches my r/l personality as it is me. What I post comes from what I think and who I am. Even those that pretend or put on a false front are showing facets of their personality that actually do exist. It could be that they want to fit in so they post with the herd, it could be that they enjoy negativity so they post against the herd or any number of it could bes.
I will come across differently in every setting you find me in. Home, grocery, church, work, sex club, on line. I'm the same person but how people perceive me is out of my control and more often than not is based on not only on the where but based on their own experiences, judgments and personality. I've been told that my personality is exactly as I "portray it", I have been told that I am completely different than my "portrayal" and everything in between. I remain constant, it is the perceptions of others that differs.
To really get to know another one can not base all of their conclusions on one facet of personality and on one setting.
I honestly can't imagine what you are alluding to with the idea that "some things have no business being on a dating profile." What things? Why not? It can weed people out quickly and that's typically a good thing.
I honestly wish more people that contacted me would read through my forum postings. I have yet to meet anyone from here irl that have even known about the forums let alone had the wherewithal to actually browse through them and read through my particular postings. If some of them would have they would have known before contacting me that we wouldn't mesh. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 4:06:11 PM | | I really don't care because it's who I am and if someone is offended well you know the old saying... "YOU can only please some people some of the time but you can't please all the people all of the time". I think if someone really wants to know me they will read my post most of them are totally heartfelt not that I don't have triggers that jerk my chain I am sure most people could say the same. I don't need to have someone agree with everything I say or do but I find when people could care less about how I feel on any given subject that they probably would not be my type anyway. | |
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| Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 4:25:15 PM | | I can give two shits. I am the same in person as I am on here. I even tell people to read about me in the forums, so they get a better idea of who I am and how I think. I really do not worry what anyone thinks. They will eventually hear things blurt out of my mouth anyway. It is simply who I am. I do select what I choose to post about though; there are some things I simply just do not want to respond to. Not out of fear, but some things that people **** about, make me really want to cuss, and I do not want to be "forum suspended". lmfao If people find me negative or do not like to hear (or see)the truth, they need to go to the next profile. | |
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