| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 12:07:21 AM | I keep changing between the two for what I'm looking for in my profile but I'm trying to pick one and stick with it. Problem is I am analyzing both of them and really can't decide.
Its like this:
Dating makes me sound not so serious; it could make it sound like I'm only interested in the now. Having what I'm searching for set as dating implicates that I only want to hang out in a casual kind of setting, seeing someone only intermittently and doing that whole thing.
Long Term kind of comes off as a little desperate, as if I am looking for someone right here and right now, and am willing to settle down with anyone willing. The Long Term option could make me sound like I'm going to latch on to the first woman who comes by showing any little sign of interest; and also I think that setting my wants as Long Term might actually scare off some women in my age range that would otherwise talk to me.
Both of those of course are not what I'm all about here; its actually a mixture of things since I'm also here to meet people to just talk to, date some people, and if I get insanely lucky strike up a real relationship. But Chat/IM and Hang Out are more secondary... so its either dating or long term for a choice. So I figure I'll ask what I am targeting, which is of course women mainly between 20-30: Which option should I stick with?
Oh yeah, and does anyone have a clue why they would only let people use one option? | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 2:23:20 AM | | I always kind of thought the same thing as you. I don't remember what it says in my profile, but I'm pretty sure I checked 'Dating' because if you think about it, dating is all about finding someone to settle down with and make a LTR. You can't just 'jump' into one. IMO, Long-Term shouldn't scare off anyone in your age range. I'm in that range, and I'm not running lol. It depends on the person. If they are scared off, that means they're not meant to be with you. Most women I do know tho do want a LTR, but like I said, LTRs start with dating. I think you should be fine. I don't know why you can only choose one, I've wondered that myself. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 2:31:31 AM | Dating and Long Term seem to be the most popular choices here amongst the ladies and I am sure that most understand there is a natural progression of dating rituals that leads to long term relationships.
I think you would be best serving yourself to deal with what you want from most on an individual basis.
This topic has been done many times so do a thread search.
You can't "target" an audience here. You get what you get.
Good luck OP. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 4:13:28 AM |
I go back and forth between 'dating' 'friend' and 'long term'.
It's simply because a long term would be wonderful... but to get there you date and hang out and learn about each other as you go.. and to get there you are also becoming a friend.
Here on PoF... it's a crap shoot no matter what you put on the top of your profile. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 4:19:23 AM | It is a dilemma that I too understand. A woman who has long term on her profile is seen as wanting to grab up the first man who comes along and marry him. So not true. Means I want to find the right man for a healthy relationship.
But I do believe I need to date like minded men. We should have the same end goal otherwise it will be a lesson in futility. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 6:29:06 AM | I honestly pay little mind to that part of the profile unless it says "Intimate Encounters", which I steer clear of.
Generally, if I liked someone's profile or was attracted to them, I would send them a message regardless of what it says in that section, with the exception of IE. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 6:41:58 AM | | I personally put "Dating" because it's light, no pressure and if it leads to a long-term relationship - well I'd be stoked. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 7:05:46 AM |
Long Term indicates a desire for a committed relationship, the key word being "committed".
Where do I state I have no desire to be committed? Thats sort of where I thrive when I can pay attention to one woman instead of 10 ;).
Thanks for the answers ladies, I'm checking in regularly (mostly because its a slow day) | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 7:07:17 AM | It's been my personal experience thus far that men with "dating" are serial daters... I'm not into being one of the harem.
On the other hand, I've found the men with "long term" may think we are attached at the hip after one semi-successful meet & greet.
Then there are the ones that pick either and really only want NSA sex... so all-in-all, it really doesn't matter to me... if I like them I'll go for it and make MY intentions clear.
Right now I have friends listed but explain on my profile what I'm looking for...which would EVENTUALLY be a LTR. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 8:00:39 AM | When I search profile I look at both dating and long term.
After reading like a bazilion profiles, more than half of the dating profiles state somewhere
" I am looking for the chance to develop a committed relationship."
Most long term profiles mention starting out as dating and see what happens.
All long term relationships start with some kind of dating.
Choose one and take a sentence or two in your profile to elaborate. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:10:29 AM | | Statistically long term relationship is meant to get the most messages for guys. Intimate encounter will get the least. the exact opposite applies to women. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 12:19:25 PM | This is one of those catch 22 issues now isn't it... personally I would think that you are overanalyzing this just a bit... I would have to say pick one and clarify what you want in your profile…
We have to keep in mind the old adage “you can please most of the people some of the time; you can please some of the most of the time but never all the people all the time. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 12:43:55 PM | Dude, you are over-thinking this.
Yes, choosing dating makes you seem not so serious. There are a lot of men that just want something casual with no commitments over time. In general, I avoid them.
However, long term does not make you seem desperate. It just means you are looking for something more than casual dating. No one is going to see that and assume that you have the ring and are on your knee waiting. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/16/2009 1:31:01 PM | I am with Mominatrix on this one, way tooooo much thought.
If you cannot decide how about this one... you choose "dating" and then go and become a serious member by purchasing one of those gold badges! | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/17/2009 12:44:35 AM | | After checking through this and browsing through more profiles than I ever have to see what is what I find that most women my age that seem interesting to me are also looking for long term and the responses here back that up, so I'll just keep it at long term where it currently is, thanks to all the ladies of POF who answered. | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/17/2009 1:10:13 AM | so why not put in the body of your profile , that although i have checked..******** in what im looking for id like to elaborate.. im looking to make new friends and date and hopefully find that special person for a long term relationship, although im not looking rush into anything it would be nice to meet and create a long term romance leading to a committed relationship... or words to that effect...
a one word "lookingfor " is usually not enough to describe what we would really desire from a date site, but thats all we get, so elaborate.... | |
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| Better Option: Dating or Long Term?
Posted: 4/17/2009 3:34:34 AM | I see what you mean i feel the same way I mean really i think we would all like to meet someone and just see what happens. You can get on well with someone online but once you meet in person you might not gel or expectations may not be met etc.
I personally would wanna meet someone and let things happen naturally. I get what you mean about the looking desperate if you put looking for long term on your profile. It's a shame that there isn't an option between the 2 dating and looking for long term. | |
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