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 onefishinthepond
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 1
Are some women being unrealistic?Page 1 of 1    
An example: I 've had a few contact me and after a few emails back and forth. They disappear. Why mail me in the first place?
and before someone asks, there has been nothing said in the emails to offend them or put them off. They haven't given me the chance to. lol

Are some women on here being unrealistic? Do they expect to be swept of there feet through the first few emails?
 DSV2
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 2
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:12:12 AM
I call it the Fatal Flaw and The Doomsday Delete...
Happens to everyone in cyberspace.
The grass is always greener.
There's always a better deal.
It's the biggest candy store that never was.
If you'd really like to meet someone,your better bet is to go out,do social things you enjoy,meet like minded individuals having a fun time in the process.
I have found online is fine for casual random platonic conversations that simply fade away.(I gave up wondering "why")
I imagine it can be frustrating at best for those trying to invest their time and energy in something more.
 Abbicci
Joined: 11/17/2008
Msg: 3
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Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:15:29 AM
You cannot say for certain that someone wasn't offended or put off. You are not a mind reader. If you were I am sure you would be seeking your fortunes elsewhere.

They may have lost interest for a variety of reason. You wont know unless you ask them directly.

I have had a few emails conversations just taper off. Some conversations just die a natural death.
 LexyAlexia
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 4
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:24:13 AM


Are some women on here being unrealistic?


I am sure some are. But this is not your problem to worry about.
 onefishinthepond
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 5
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:25:14 AM
Oh it's water off a ducks back to me. It will never beat a little eye contact and a smile at a girl a cross the room.

All I'm saying is for the content of the emails. It's crazy how it can put anyone off. If normal conversation does that to them then we wouldn't get on in the real world. So its probably for the best.

and by the sounds of it it's fairly common on here.
 AmandaLy09
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 6
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:27:44 AM
Unrealistic? I can't be certain about that, but there's more than one reason why a girl decides to stop emailing you. Probably they find a better fish in the sea, they're too busy, or don't know what else to say.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 7
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:28:18 AM
IMO a person may stop talking to you for reasons that had nothing to do with the content of the email. Many people ( both women and men ) on dating sites have the "grass is greener" attitude. Another man may have emailed her. She liked his photos and profile. He is the "new and shiny product". Therefore she begins talking to him and ignores any other man that she was talking to.
 onefishinthepond
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 8
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:33:13 AM
wolf charming - 'overly excited because of an email'. I better stop asking them to marry me so.

I keep them short, to the point of their opening mail and as you said build the conversation up.

Its how anyone with good people skills conduct a conversation and I never have a problem with it in the real world.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 9
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Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:36:21 AM

It's crazy how it can put anyone off. If normal conversation does that to them then we wouldn't get on in the real world.


You didnt have to insult them for them to stop emailing you. They start messaging you to see if they are interested in meeting. Who knows you may be as exciting as a dirt clod in your messages and bore them to tears. They quit messaging when they decide your not interesting enough to meet. Thats how online dating works.

The messages should be asking questions and learning about the other person. When you see they are just not a match you move on to the next contestant. (long sigh...)

Cowboy
 onefishinthepond
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 10
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:36:25 AM
Amanda that makes sense but t's a little shallow on the girls part don't you think :)

If it was a man he'd just mail them both and nobody gets confused. lol
 Lori922
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 11
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:37:36 AM

Why mail me in the first place?


B/c they are giving you a chance...scoping out the situation so to speak.


They disappear.


They probably got bored ... ending contact doesn't necessarily mean you offended them in any way.


Do they expect to be swept of there feet through the first few emails?


Not necessarily, but I would assume they want communication that keeps them stimulated enough to keep the contact going.
 onefishinthepond
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 12
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:39:50 AM
wolfcharming. I'm aware of all that. Its very easy for something innocent to be taken the wrong way. Its the exact same as a text message.
 onefishinthepond
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 13
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:42:31 AM
How do I quote from a reply on this thing
 onefishinthepond
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 14
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:04:45 AM

Lexy 'I am sure some are. But this is not your problem to worry about'

I'm not a worrier at all at all.

p.s. thanks for all the replies

p.s.s. they should have a quote button on the corner of the replies. much easier
 _carl_
Joined: 4/3/2009
Msg: 15
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:07:43 AM
Why would they continue to message you if the conversation was going nowhere? if you got one response from her, she had some interest in your profile. she either lost interest when she found out more about you or felt the conversation was going nowhere.

Did you suggest that things could go further. maybe even hint at a future meeting. Some women like to know the conversation could lead to a date.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 16
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Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:08:23 AM

How do I quote from a reply on this thing


http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts469064.aspx

Because replies in this section are limited to 20 also try and answer several posters in one reply to save more responses.

Cowboy
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 17
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Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:25:07 AM
Because something in your profile caught there attention, but after exchanging more information, that first interest is lost...

Kind of like seeing something shiny and thinking it is a quarter, or something, only to find it is a gum wrapper...

The reality is YOU don't know these people either, and don't know what exactly they are looking for in a person. Therefore there is no way of knowing if what you said struck them as weird, or creepy...

Women have the very same thing happen, it is just internet dating...

Kind of like on line shopping not every thing a person browse or bookmarks is something they will end up purchasing...

You have just as much of a chance to get some negative vibes in a few e mails and discontinue talking as well...

If you are concerned of someone being shallow then would you really be interested in them???
 onefishinthepond
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 18
Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:35:25 AM
Cowboy I didnt know about the limit, thanks

and carl the whole point is it didnt get the chance to go anywhere the conversation was just starting and they seemed enthusiastic.

There was nothing weird or creepy said on my part which must be because I'm not a creep. I don't think some peole are getting my point at all or are simply not reading the my post. I'll spell it out for those of you in that category. ....

............It's a few innocent, normal, nice to meet you, thats funny, we have that in common sentences.

I'm a confident person. Pulling isn't a problem for me event though I get my share of the no thanks. I know what strange is. Otherwise I wouldn't have posted.

Like I said at the end of the day it's water off a ducks back to me becuase there's plenty more fish in the sea. There always is.

but I guess my point is that most women don't make sense and most of them certainly don't know what they want. It's rare to find those that do.

I just wanted to see if there was another explaination since I'm new to online dating.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 19
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Are some women being unrealistic?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:35:45 AM
It's easy to become complacent here and stop trying.

I am in a place where I enjoy chatting by email a few times with a new guy here
but am on hold emotionally for various reasons and not too thrilled with the idea of meeting any more men after having some awful first meetings with a few.

I was very enthusiastic at first about this site but have had my hopes dashed to pieces by going out and meeting some true narcissists who wouldn't be able to have a relationship with anyone but themselves. It killed my enthusiasm.
I have a feeling I'm not the only one here to end up this way.
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