| | Death - Fear or Acceptance?Page 1 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | | As we age, our own death becomes ever increasingly closer. Do you give much or any thought to your death? Do you fear your death and, if so, what are those fears? Have you come to terms with your own death and how did you go about coming to terms with that acceptance? | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 7:55:24 AM | | After having come close a few times - no, I don't fear it. I'd be more concerned with living in pain or with dementia. Death is just the end. HOW you die is the more worrisome issue for me. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 7:56:48 AM | I was DOA on arrival at the age 0f 15
And revived.
what I experienced those many many years ago
is there is nothing to fear
nor do I dwell on when or how it will happen
I have a wonderfull life
and I celebrate it | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 8:24:33 AM | | Considering that death is the one thing we all have in common eventually - what is there to fear? When younger , I couldn't conceive my own death. As I got older - I saw that death can be a blessed release for some. These days I have had to face the knowledge that I too will die. While I'm just not put together in a way that lets me give up or accept easily - I can't say I fear it either. When death comes - it will drag me kicking and screaming - but not because I'm afraid! More because I'm stubborn! | |
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*Don*
| | Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 6 | |
| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 9:02:42 AM | In a way, I was very fortunate in that I was diagnosed to ‘pack it in early’ when I was three years old – one of those incurable diseases, I forget which one, now. I wasn’t supposed to live past my teens. Of course, the docs were wrong as I’m still here, but it changes how you live your life. You learn to not waste time. Days, weeks that go by where you are unhappy, unfulfilled, you learn to not have the patience to endure them for very long. When I found myself at the age of 40 with a very nice lo-six figure salary, an ensuing lifestyle, I had no qualms with just walking away from it when it no longer ‘did it’ for me and I built a much less financially-rewarding life and career that made me feel much better, much more ‘fulfilled’.
Life is for living – for me, anyway. When there is something that I ‘really’ want to do, I do it. Then, I do the next thing, when it’s time for that. I don’t stay in relationships that are unhealthy for both parties. I don’t stay in careers that are not personally fulfilling. And if I feel like selling everything I own, buying a bike and taking a trip to Argentina on it, simply because that is something that I want to do before I die, I’ll do it.
Oddly, when a good friend of mine from this site died last year, I remember thinking at the time: “Geez, I wish it had been me, and not her.” For I’ve lived the life I’ve wanted, did everything I’ve wanted to do, and she still had so much left undone. And no, this was not a death wish on my part, just a contentment with a life well-lived – something that came about because I was lucky enough to have someone tell me long, long ago that I wouldn’t live long.
Fear death ?? ... not in the least. I’m ready, whenever it decides to stop by.
D | |
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Ron9
| | Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 7 | |
| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 9:15:32 AM | Like above ..... I have also been dead before. That was in 1998. No one knows how long I was dead.
I woke up 13 days later with the burn marks on my chest.
Nope - there is no “light” - no floating around the room - you’re just dead.
Like mentioned above - the events leading up to the death is what bothers me. When I go I hope it is fast and done.
I also hope someone notices and gets to my pets before it is too late for them.
They claim I died from a heart attack. Personally since I have no heart damage or disease (still don’t) - I think I had stressed (worked) myself to death. One or two hours of sleep for months and months (working too many hours) killed me I think. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 9:47:13 AM | | LOL--my family talks about death and dying all the time. It's one of those things people do, people lose loved ones in easy ways and hard ways. I don't fear death, but I think at times I am sad that life will be over. There's so much still to do! | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:11:02 AM |
I also hope someone notices and gets to my pets before it is too late for them.
Yes, Ron9, that is my hope, too, and currently my only "fear" about dying.
I accept death and smile every time I think of the cliche: "no one gets out of this life alive." It has been one very, very interesting ride, this life of mine!!!!! I do, however, want to make sure everyone knows my wishes. Since I have no children, what happens to my "worldly goods" is not a given. I have written my wishes down and sent copies to my brother and a dear friend. I have already made arrangements and paid for my cremation. Over the past few years, I have also given away several "special" items to those who are dear to me.
Having recently been faced with making decisions about my late husband's funeral services, his possessions and those of his parents and having to do so in a diminished state of mind from shock and pain, I do not wish to leave that onerous task to anyone who may be grieving when I leave these earthly bonds. Those who are close to me have expressed their impression that I am "dwelling" on it. I don't see it that way. Dealing with it now gives me peace of mind and frees me to keep on living!
I hope this makes sense.
Sequoyah | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:14:02 AM | Op, sorry to hear about you having cancer, in 2002 when I was diagnosed with cancer, looking back I would say that hearing your chances can do alot to demotivate you..I was told I only had 40 percent chance to live 5 years...so when year six hit I realized I had waited 5 years to die and it didnt happen, you dont want a hope for the future cause you are afraid you wont have that future, please dont make my mistake with this viewpoint.
I never feared dying, facing a chemo treatment, I feared living...the pain both inside and outside is real, i felt like a coward cause at points i did want to die so I wouldnt have to have anymore. You have to have the courage to walk into the Oncologist and have them hook you up to something you know is going to kill parts of you...it is a slow death and dont let anyone else tell you differently.
A better question for this time in your life...isnt about death, what do you have to live for? What havent you done? What do you want to go and see and do? You are going to have to want to make it to do so...dont think about death anymore, think about living, please dont give up.
The faces of my kids were always into my brain and I never gave up no matter how hard it seemed. The chemo was to be over in 4 months, took 9 months cause I keep getting sick, it was my own fault I knew the cancer had spread cause it was in my lymph nodes so I asked if I could skip the first treatment and just take the more advance chemo, it literally kicked my ass...but now 7 years later Im here.
I have had two different doctors tell me I should be happy im alive and they dont see how I made it. I never thought of death at that time, I couldnt I was all my kids have.
Please try and look at having cancer as a different type of experience in life. Your hair will grow back, eventually you will get a sorta karma about life, you will see the real value of each day, the silly stuff others go on and on about wont matter to you anymore.
Yes it is hard but in so many ways I am a much better person, it changed my whole family structure, my kids have a different view of life and living and they never take me for granted. The benefits are there you just have to be open to seeing them. Life is worth living. You can do this. | |
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Malley
| | Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:36:03 AM | Death is part of life. Simple as.
Our departure times will vary, but we're all heading in the same direction. Sure, we can talk about it, discuss it or ignore it but the facts don't change. Our bodies weren't designed to last forever.
If we allow fear to take over, none of us would ever leave our homes. Wasting away day by day, afraid to live is a form of dying is it not ???
Death - Fear or Acceptance?
As a society, we tend to look at death as the enemy. Many terminal patients are kept alive by their doctors just because they can be. Hospitals often view death as the worse possible outcome. Dying can be a relief for those who have suffered a great deal, and should be offered as an option. I'm not referring to euthanasia but rather simply allowing nature to take it's course. Death can and should be embraced.
I certainly don't think much about it nor do I fear death. It's the natural progression of life.
IMHO, the best way to overcome an irrational fear of passing on is to sit at the bedside of one whose time is near. It's an unforgettable, almost holy experience. Once you see the peacefulness that overtakes the pained expression, just prior to passing through the invisible veil, it leaves no doubt that the freedom felt when released from our earthly bounds is nothing short of beautiful.  | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:37:09 AM | Ohhh, Sapphireeyes, you have misunderstood the purpose of my starting this thread. I am not sorry that I have experienced cancer and that there is a good possibility that I might (notice I siad "might") die from it but there is also a good possibility that I might die of something else like a brain fart! j/k
This thread is not about me and my cancer. Throughout my cancer and chemo, I have had an incredibly upbeat attitude about it and it's not going to get the better of me. It has been an incredible journey, it has made me stronger and I have met some very wonderful people and caregivers that I perhaps would never have met save for this malady.
Over the years, as family members, friends and foes have passed on, I have always taken the time to reflect on my feelings of death. The reason that this thread has come about is that, being on long term disability for the time being, I have had copious amounts of time to reflect on the past and plan for the future as well as thinking about when the time does come, how I will handle it. Yes, there are times that I wish I didn't fear it and other times that I wholeheartedly accept it. There is a whole lot of "stuff" that I must do before I set sail for the last time and, hopefully, I will be granted the time in which to do it. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:57:44 AM | If you get your stuff together so the inevitable does not become a burden on anyone that's important in your life, you will pass, as we all do without any worry. You may not have time to worry anyway but that is an unknown. People that are killed during a war or any other sudden way do not have time to worry about anything. Life will go on without you one way or another. While we are alive we should embrace life the best we can. Death is a given but how you live your live is a choise. If you think that doesn't matter the time to be concerned about that is now. You can't do much about it later. Live now, you WILL die later. Could be as close as your next heartbeat! No sense dwelling or fearing it. It WILL happen and you will not have any choise to make then.
"Don't worry be happy"! | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 11:52:37 AM | I speak for myself:
No fear at all...I'm a Christian so I believe none of us die away.
But we will spend our eternity somewhere...I know where I will be. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 12:10:07 PM | | The 14.5 billion years leading up to my birth were a piece of cake. I figure the 1st 14.5 billion after should be as well. | |
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Landra
| | Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 17 | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 1:32:44 PM | I don't think about it, which I suppose is some form of denial!
My doctor gets mad at me because I'm always too busy to go for blood tests, etc. She says I'm walking a tight rope. I guess she's right.
The only time I've ever feared death was when my daughter was little - like Sapphire. I worried about who would look after her as well as me, who would love her like I do, whether my death would scar her and ruin her life. But..I didn't die ..lol..and she's got a wonderful father..and I still expect to be around for a while yet.
I don't look forward to old age at all. I've hardly seen any examples where it's such a wonderful thing. I hate the idea of being in pain and knowing it's never going to get any better.
So..I put my blinkers on and live every day as it comes, I guess. I do love living and have no wish to see it end! | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 1:47:02 PM | About 10 years ago had emergency surgery.
Prior to that I had always feared surgery but having lived thru that now I look upon death as another step in life.
When its your time it happens.
Trying hard now to do what needs to be done and what I want to accomplish. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 1:50:59 PM | Having been told I would die half my life ago due to a surgeons error, left me studying the subject. Being as I didn't die, it actually worked out to turn me into a strong person, who lives for today.
I don't mind one bit if I die suddenly off something. It is the slow lingering death that worries me.
I told my long term friends a long time ago, that if necessary I will use the silver bullet theory, and that they are to dance at my funeral if it comes to that. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 2:05:06 PM |
Having been told I would die half my life ago due to a surgeons error, left me studying the subject. Being as I didn't die, it actually worked out to turn me into a strong person, who lives for today.
I don't mind one bit if I die suddenly off something. It is the slow lingering death that worries me.
You took the words I would have said first, Moraima. I was on the verge of death at 28, and had a near death encounter with God, and have had a great deal of inner peace about death ever since. Mostly what I feared about death, was when my daughters were younger, and I worried about what would happen to them, if I died then. Now that they're grown, the only fear, would be of pain.....the long, lingering suffering kind of death. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 2:23:10 PM | | Death? No fear whatsoever (I'll go join my brother and play some golf in heaven). Dy-ING? Yes, absolutely, I fear it, because, unless it's instantaneous or I go in my sleep, I know it's going to hurt like hell. If I go of cancer, hopefully they'll just crank up the morphine when it appears I'm terminal. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 2:24:09 PM |
No fear at all.
I actually believe it will be a joyful relief.
As a Born-Again Christian I think "relief" is the right word: all the physical and emotional aches and pains will pass once and for all and all my spiritual questions will have a final answer.
My mortal self tends to lean toward the anxious side a bit as I would like to leave something lasting behind besides some fertilizer and the few genes I gave my son.
Lord willing there are a great number of years left; at times I feel as if I have only just started down this road and there is SO MUCH left to do and see!
Ah, death, where is thy sting?
TK, homeward bound on that narrow hiway. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 2:56:35 PM | I almost died when I saw Prince's shadow on that curtain at the Superbowl!
I almost died when the Navy sent me a bill for 7 days excess leave after being out of the service for five years!
I almost died when my Halloween costume split about 3 feet up the back while attempting a break dance move that should be illegal for men of my rhythmic ability!
I hope that I do go that way. I'll just start laughing and keel over, with boots on of course.
I already have a plot and I'm looking into DIY caskets to defray the costs. I really want a viking funeral, but my dog hates the idea and refuses to go look at old crappy boats with me anymore. I think my youngest son clued him in on that because I told him that I was thinking of fixin' one up.
What I'll probably really do though is the Indian way. When I think it's a good day to die, I'll just find a nice spot, sit down and enjoy the breeze until the buffalo comes. | |
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| Death - Fear or Acceptance?
Posted: 4/20/2009 3:07:22 PM | Don will have a canine escort to heaven when he goes.
Hopefully all rescue folks will have a canine or kitty escort when the time comes. | |
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