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Posted: 4/20/2009 2:13:25 PM | | My lover wants a 3some...it is his fantazy but it is something that i have always wanted to try. Trouble is ..he is 28 and I am 41. How do I find a women I would like to have sex without him wanting her more than me...how do I ask a women on here if she would be willing to join us?? | |
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| 3somes
Posted: 4/20/2009 2:20:59 PM | | Try posting on a swinger's site. You probably won't find anyone unless you are bi or bi-curious, because just about everyone is looking for that ever elusive woman to fulfill this fantasy, and most would only be interested if they get to play with you as well - they can already find all the men they want, and more. Otherwise, ask one of your friends! | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 2:22:51 PM | | Normal women with sustem of values ans some moral standards do not do it. | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 2:25:53 PM | | Women who can spell do..... | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 2:30:17 PM | | Suggest the third person is another man.........that should shut him up pretty quickly!! | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 2:31:51 PM | | do you know of any??..I am bi-curious otherwise I would have said 'no' from the start..could not go down on one of my friends and look her in the eye the next day!! | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 2:34:39 PM | | I get that next!! | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 3:07:54 PM | | Web Search for swing sites or swing clubs in your area. You will find it easier to find woman wanting you, rather than have both of you. The opposite of how you think it will go. Men are the ones always discriminated against in sexual relationships such as these. You would have better luck finding a couple to swing with, where both ladies focus on one of the men. Another option is a hotel party, where single woman frequently join. The disadvantage is you never know how everyone will pair off until it happens. Pre-planning isn't so much an option. | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 3:09:36 PM | Bad idea, generally ... not many people after the fact say it was their brainiest moment. Too much confusion ensues.
If you must, I guess I would recommend a 51 year old, someone who isn't going to knock your ego back too far. And then, I would think a friend would be a good idea -- someone you trust to back off later. Also, you think you'd be mortified, but most friends in that situation would have a good giggle over it later, I would think.
And maybe you'd find yourself a bi-lover for your own secret passions later. | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 3:39:26 PM |
My lover wants a 3some...it is his fantazy but it is something that i have always wanted to try. Trouble is ..he is 28 and I am 41
Chances are he wants someone younger and that's why he wants a threesome...
How do I find a women I would like to have sex without him wanting her more than me...
Well, that's the chance you take... and if you're already worried he'd want her more than you, then I'd say a 3some is NOT a good idea... chances are this will blow up in your face....
Personally, I'd never share anyone I cared about... | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 3:41:51 PM | | Try finding a woman neither of you are attracted to. It's just sex,after all. Him wanting the other woman afterwards is a chance you take with 3-somes. | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 5:14:48 PM | DO NOT ASK A FRIEND... Post an ad on a website or try a "lifestyle" club near you. Your fears are natural and maybe an indication you shouldn't really be doing this at this point in time... Unless you're both VERY secure in yourselves and each other you will probably do more damage than good to your relationship.
And for the people who judge you here... To hell with them. If you're a prude and unable to spell you should think about finding another use for your time... Instead or reading and posting in the Sex and Dating forums... You think? | |
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Posted: 4/20/2009 5:28:35 PM | | Sounds like he's using you to fulfill fantasies - onece he's done he will be dust! Be careful what you wish for and what you allow! Being used will suck in the end! | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 1:18:03 AM | If you are thinking of having a threesome and are worried he might enjoy her more then you.....you are not ready for a threesome.
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Posted: 4/21/2009 1:31:09 AM | "Normal women with sustem of values ans some moral standards do not do it."
So I guess there are a lot of abnormal women with no moral standards.
Don't knock it til you try it hun  | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 4:14:39 AM | Create a profile on a site that caters for that type of thing and maybe aim for someone in between your ages and slightly closer to yours, might make you feel a bit better. I did it with my partner and it was great, and we had a mutual agreement that the girl we find is ONLY for the threesome, no further contact afterwards and if we wanted to do it again all contact would go through ME so I could 'control' it a bit more.
Not sure this site would be your best avenue, so much bullshit on here and I get the whole 'no way can you do it with a friend' so find another site and go about it that way.
Goodluck!! | |
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daepok
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Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 17 | |
| 3somes
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:26:13 AM |
Women who can spell do.....
I LOL'd.
The idea that he wants a 3some because he wants someone younger is pure BS.
As for finding someone, my advice is go slow...choose carefully...there are lots of fantasies that are just plain better as fantasies...we build up unrealistic expectations.
3Some doesn't have to be one of those...but it can be easily if the parties involved don't have good chemistry. Find the chemistry first, then take her to bed. The right 3rd makes all the difference between amazing and disappointing. | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 5:46:03 AM | | You could always hire a pro. | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 10:12:58 AM | | thanks for all your comments......they have made me realise its not something to rush into... | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 6:50:53 PM | | it can be difficult to find someone for a threesome. you will know her when you see her- is what i always say. my current lover and i just ask...so far we have been successful. unless you are mature enough to handle the 3some- dont do it. you can't have thoughts that he wants her more than you....cmon. you are his partner, the other person is just a temporary twist to enhance your relationship. if he leaves you for her, then he wasn't your in the first place. i find it very exciting to watch my lover go for another woman and i love it when he watches me please her. it's a turn on for both of us. | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 7:08:17 PM | "Women who can spell do....."
I was crying tonight.....spat Grey Goose through my nose after that note.
Wow! Actually I can laugh again!!!!
Thank you sooo much MystifiedSquirt!!!!
Did I spell that right?????? | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 8:51:08 PM | | Have you ever considerd paying a woman to join you guys,,i mean i know it sounds crazy but a professional woman you can pick and choose her age and what she looks like,her sexual orientation,and you will never have to see her again !!! lol there are places that screen for stds as well . safer than meeting someone on here ,,anyway good luck what ever you chooze. | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 8:54:01 PM | | Most embarrassing thread of life imo. And only embarrassing for you. | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 8:59:56 PM |
How do I find a women I would like to have sex without him wanting her more than me?
Bring in an 80 year old.  | |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 9:06:56 PM | And what happens if the fantasy becomes a nightmare and not at all what he expected? And as others have suggested never as a friend as it can ruin a friendship. And whatever you do practice safe sex and I would even suggest getting tested to make sure she is clean. Remember you only have one life. And as someone else suggested ask him how he would feel if it were a man and not a woman?
~Beth~ | |
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