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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........      Home login  
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 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 1
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I received a phone call yesterday from a dear friend of mine who told me that she had just been stood up by her date. From what I gather, it's a fairly common occurrence. I have a really excellent way for anyone who is stood up to turn the tables, save face and really screw with the idiot who was rude enough to do this to them.



First of all you need to realize one thing. In the day of cell phones, unless someone is car jacked, kidnapped or dead, there is no excuse for them to stand you up. There are few things that feel worse then waiting to be picked up for a date and not have that person show up. There are also few things more rude to do to someone.



The first rule is this: DO NOT CALL THEM. If your plans are definitive, then the person knows quite well where/when to meet you or pick you up. The exception to this is, of course, amnesia but in that case you don't want to date them anyway. The next thing you need to realize is that if you are being stood up, they don't want to meet you. It's that simple. If they wanted to meet you, they would have shown up. Once you realize these things it's time to have some fun.



The next day you need to call them. Make sure not to block your number since you want them to know that it's you. Chances are that they won't answer so you will have the opportunity to leave them a message. If they do answer you can pretty much do the same thing. You need to apologize for standing THEM up. Tell them that you are really sorry for not being there and make up the most lame possible excuse. I recommend something like you were shopping a shoe sale at Nordstrom and lost track of the time or say you forgot that you had an appointment to take your dog to the groomer. Something along those lines but it has to be really idiotic and trivial. In this way you make them feel like you have the upper hand and all of the lousy feelings you had about being stood up are transferred to them.



Now sometimes if you are really lucky this is where the fun begins. Since they now feel like it was you who dissed them, they might actually ask to reschedule. The fact that you dismissed them so easily makes you all the more desirable, especially to a moron like this. If they ask for another chance you have to be more then willing to say YES. Apologize once more for not showing up and make a definite date to get together again. If possible, try to make a date where they have to wear something fancy or make special arrangements like finding a babysitter. This time, of course, you stand them up for real and make them feel really lousy once again.



Now I know what many of you are going to say. This is a game and the subject is serious. You want the person to know how bad they made you feel. Well, my friends, I am here to tell you that someone who is callous enough to stand you up really doesn't care about your feelings, nor do they care about you. I recommend trying this if you are ever so unfortunate. Just please remember to email me and let me know how it went. I would love to hear from you.
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 2
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:28:17 PM
wow, I would never give them the satisfaction of calling even with a lame story,( shows you cared even with the lame excuse.) I have had people do this and either I thank my lucky stars that they didnt show up(because they were losers or weirdos from what I found out at a later date) or they try to contact me with a lame excuse and now I get to toss them to the curb. You snooze, you lose!
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 3
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:45:44 PM
'course there are always the exceptions. From my 'first date' on my profile:

My ideal first date is to try something new: stand the guy up and leave him cooling his heels in a torrential downpour cursing the insincerity of on-line dating. Well, I assume he cursed the vagaries and uncertainty of on-line dating because what he actually expressed to me was genuine concern that I was sick. You never know what will work until you try something new.


I had - foolishly - sent him an email as I was leaving work to go home sick. Boy am I glad he believes in 2nd chances. (I think he likely is glad as well.)

Sometimes great things can grow from rough beginnings.
 Lindarellah
Joined: 4/3/2009
Msg: 4
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:48:57 PM
Why would I call someone who stood me up, just to tell them a lie? That is the craziest thing yet.
 ZenBeth
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 5
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:50:56 PM
If someone stands you up, simply write it off and don't repeat the meeting again.
Being an adult I don't do sadistic or juvenile games.

~Beth~
 dannyr0697
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 6
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 5:36:33 PM
Oh but all you other posters are completely NOT getting the beauty of this thread. The OP isn't asking for your advice, he's giving you a "How to" guide for dealing with the type of inconsiderate a-hole who would stand someone up in the first place.
POETIC JUSTICE!!!!! I love it! Especially if they did fall for it and rescheduled the date. It would be cool to video tape them sitting, standing, fijgiting, or whatever they are doing while being stood up.
Too cool.LMAO
Which is what I'd be doing watching it happen.


L8TR
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 7
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 5:45:00 PM
I'd never do that. I don't play games...but if a man stood me up, I'd not reschedule.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 8
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 5:53:31 PM
it would get me upset a little for not keeping their promises but in the end, its their loss and why would i need to waste my time on someone likes to play childish games? They did me a favor in the end.
 bob2013
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 9
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:15:11 PM
Yeah, that's what we need more vindictive behavior on POF. Not like we have enough now between coffee, average everybody, emails deleted, he said/she said, players and all the rest.

We have the walking wounded in spirit, the overly angry, the users and losers and now we have revenge of the stood up. Someone with so little respect for you or your time deserves little second thought. Aside from Margo's example, that I believe would be the 1 in a 100 exception to the rule. The rest are better to be considered as a good near miss, since they would undoubtedly do far worse things if you got involved with them.

You want games, play checkers. Your dating, stick to your game plan. Bob
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 10
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:41:44 PM
And what if the person was actually there, saw what you looked like and left?? Then you'll realllly look like an idiot when you say you never showed... I'd just let it go.
 Forumhobbit
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 11
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:54:42 PM
OP - What's with the games?


The next day you need to call them. Make sure not to block your number since you want them to know that it's you. Chances are that they won't answer so you will have the opportunity to leave them a message. If they do answer you can pretty much do the same thing. You need to apologize for standing THEM up. Tell them that you are really sorry for not being there and make up the most lame possible excuse. I recommend something like you were shopping a shoe sale at Nordstrom and lost track of the time or say you forgot that you had an appointment to take your dog to the groomer. Something along those lines but it has to be really idiotic and trivial. In this way you make them feel like you have the upper hand and all of the lousy feelings you had about being stood up are transferred to them.

Now sometimes if you are really lucky this is where the fun begins. Since they now feel like it was you who dissed them, they might actually ask to reschedule. The fact that you dismissed them so easily makes you all the more desirable, especially to a moron like this. If they ask for another chance you have to be more then willing to say YES. Apologize once more for not showing up and make a definite date to get together again. If possible, try to make a date where they have to wear something fancy or make special arrangements like finding a babysitter. This time, of course, you stand them up for real and make them feel really lousy once again.


Why bother giving them any attention at all? I mean, if they felt you weren't important enough to gain their attention, why bother giving them yours? To me this is just high school game playing.

I've been stood up before... and with some lame excuses. But not for one second was I going to fuel the fire and bother wasting my times finding ways to "get back" at them for standing me up. I figure hey... their loss. Only one ever called the next day to give me some excuse for why they weren't there and I simply dismissed them and told them I was no longer interested. Remaining emails/calls from that person simply got ignored. I have better things to do with my time than find ways to pay back. I dunno, OP... I mean your 47.... don't you think you oughta leave the immaturity/game playing to the kids?

SW
 Just_Another_Gurl
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 12
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:57:04 PM
I have been stood up more than once and although the thought of the revenge that would be is somewhat appealing lol, l just rather not give the loser a second thought...... The best poetic justice for me was when l was stood up and so called a buddy of mine to go out instead (why waste the sitter right?) and when we went to a different bar my so-called date was there and went into fits when he saw me there with another guy!!! He actually approached me and tried to give me some excuse as to what happened to which l put up my hand and said "it is obvious what happened, and if you can't tell l am busy having a great night thank you and good bye". He even had the guts to phone me a few times after that saying he was sorry and could l give him a second chance?....pfffft click
 luv_n_theory
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 13
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:58:34 PM
I kinda got stood up one time. I am not sure exactly what you would call it. He showed up for the date and I turned and just as we locked eyes I realized he was trying to leave. Being "caught" I supposed he changed his mind and walked over so as to not be a total jerk. He immediatly told me he couldn't stay because he had an emergency and had to go. I told him I understood and he just stood there staring at me, like he was in anguish and his feet were planted in cement. He then said he would have at least one drink. Confused, I agreed. We talked for a few more minutes and I told him if he needed to go I completely understood. He continued to stare at me strangely. Then took a phone call and said to the caller " yea, everythings fine".......Then he opened up.

Apparently, he does not like big women and even though I described my body style he didn't believe it so, he wanted to meet me and see just how big I was. As soon as he saw me standing at the railing over looking the water he tried to bail. But when he looked into my eyes he said he was drawn to me. He then told me I was beauutiful and my spirit was strong and sweet but I would have to lose the weight if I was going to be with him because he does not "do fat". I needed to uderstand that his "people" wouldn't understand him being with someone like me. But if I worked out it with him it wouldn't take much time and and I could lose the weight then I wouldn't be a "moped" and he could be seen out with me.

He was so serious and I just stood there somewhat dumbfounded listening to him. I almost felt sorry for the guy. He actually tried to kiss me but I ducked out from underneath his very broad shoulders and told him I needed to be going. It took about five phone calls and two apology e-mails before he "understood" that I would not be contacting him.

Humans...lol ...we can be so strange.
 bikerbird998
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 14
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:59:51 PM
There have been times when I've been stood up. It hurts. When I get hurt I get angry. Maybe I'm not sufficiently enlightened or cool, but I am real and in touch with my feelings! I can understand someone wanting to get even, but playing a trick is not my style. I just want to vent the anger where it belongs. So I drop a note or a message and tell the git what I think. I have been known to go round and let their tyres down and once I dropped dog turd in his pool. I like direct action. It is very satisfying.
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 7:34:57 PM
Seriously, if I was stood up I would just move on. I'd figure the person wasn't either ready to be dating or not the right one for me. I see no reason to be juvenile and get revenge. I would be spending my efforts to find someone more interested.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 16
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 7:49:10 PM
And... give me one good reason (other than assuaging my ego) why I would want to waste all that energy on a some tool I've never met? ..................:bye


....................... .............................. .............................. .......................... :

POETIC JUSTICE!!!!!
Poetic justice is not set up by someone seeking revenge. Poetic Justice happens naturally to a person who has purposely done harm .. Usually by something similar being done to them by someone else in the "tool's" future .. Some call it "Karma." ..
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 17
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 8:03:01 PM
I got stood up once. What did I do? Once I realized he wasn't going to show up, I went home and went to bed. Didn't give him or the fact he stood me up another thought. I had only known him a couple of weeks, so it didn't seem like a big deal.

It didn't make me feel bad. Why should I feel bad because of another person's ignorance?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 18
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 8:03:50 PM
My sister was invited to the senior prom months before by the great guy Joe Popular. They were true friends.
Well he hooks with another new gird a week or two prior but everyone is cool with the prior commitment to the prom since the were not officially a couple anyway. Unfortunately he chooses to drop her off at house 5 minutes after prom ends so he can party eith his true love. I was pissed, that was my baby ister. Her entire grade is partying and she is home alone with me, She was devastated
I immediate open my closet and lmade a few calls and that college senior to the downtown world of CBGB's and the Bowery after dark. We danced and drank all night to the Ramones. The talking heads and met a guy who played with Blondie. But bye the of of the nigth the crew of SNL was buying us shots and having a great time/
 shipoker58
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 19
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 8:21:05 PM
I was stood up by someone on POF. No big deal! Take two salt tablets and continue to march!!


...JMO
 lostintheshuffle
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 20
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/20/2009 8:21:10 PM
I've been stood up once. Being stood up is when you're already there and your date doesn't tell you until you're there or doesn't tell you at all.

The one time I was stood up, I just asked someone else out right then and there, and it worked. She wasn't doing anything, I wasn't doing anything we got Starbucks. It was nice. No second date, but nice is nice.

I have also had a date show up 3 hours late to a date.
 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 21
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:12:17 AM
Exactly right, Danny. Thank you.
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 22
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:29:51 AM
I'm with the rest of the sensible people who find OP's "solution" a ridiculous and immature game. Why bother? If this is how OP deals with something so meaningless, how will he deal with serious issues that arise in a relationship?
 Marial92
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 23
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:39:41 AM
i've never been stood up......lucky me...LOL really, who cares.

but if i were, i can only imagine sticking around for about a 1/2 hr. just to give him the benefit of the doubt but then again, there are cell phones and he could call if he's going to be late or can't show up at all.

i'm sure i'd feel slighted, a bit bruised and low. but, it's not like i never sat down in a restaurant and had coffee by myself or ate a meal by myself so i think i might stay.

anyway, the OP on this issue is way off base. sorry you feel you have to go through all that crap just because.......

if i were stood up, i would hope that i would behave in an upstanding way and just let it go but from that point on, there would be no communication whatsoever with the one that left me there to myself.
 QuestForNormal
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 24
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:36:30 AM
Thank you all for your kind replies. However, I feel that most of you are missing the point. I am not recommending you try this. It is simply a way to get back at someone for being rude and to teach them a lesson. Is it worth the effort?? That would be up to you and the amount of time you needlessly invested in this person prior to actually being stood up and how badly you feel about it. People have different ways of dealing with various issues and this is one that happens to be proven to teach a valuable lesson. Take if for what it's worth but by no means am I suggesting you all run out and try it the very next time you have this happen to you.
 FunkyMonkee
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 25
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What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:42:42 AM
Standing someone up is cowardice pure and simple.

If you are too busy playing unproductive or vindictive games with other people how do people seriously think they are going to be happy ?
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