| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:35:43 PM | Ok, is this not out of some conspiracy theory thriller movie?? ...only not quite as exciting, but still...
I met a girl on a dating site almost 12 months ago, she initiated a conversation with me and we immediately hit it off. We talked online for hoouurrrs a day for the first week getting to know each and talked at least once a day after that. She was just finishing up high school at the time and lived a couple hours away from me, unfortunately we never got to meet before she moved to New York to go to law school at NYU and at that point we pretty much accepted the fact that it would be a while before we would be able to see each other (as I live in the GTA in Canada). We got along incredibly well and although I am really skeptical of solely online relationships and I am definitely not one to jump into a serious relationship, I couldn't help but fall damn near in love with her as the months went by (at least as much as you can with a person you've never met in person before) and she very openly felt the same about me. She seemed to be just as timid as I was about the whole thing but we couldn't help ourselves and we were both very excited to finally see each other. She was planning on coming home for the summer at the beginning of May and we were going to spend as much time together as possible and finally begin a proper relationship....at least until just a couple weeks ago.
I was talking to her one morning before she left for work, we said our usual, affectionate goodbye's and she said she'd be online later that night. That was the last time I spoke to her. That night I came home and went on the computer talking to a few people and I went to post on her Facebook wall and her account was not there any more. Her best friend's account wasn't there either. I sent off an e-mail, wondering what was up and it bounced back with a delivery notification failure. Her e-mail account has been deleted. I tried calling and texting her cell with no response.
Now I'm not naive, I'm not an idiot. I know exactly what the only possible explanation for this seems to be...but it honestly just does not make any sense. If she had decided she just didn't want to talk with me anymore (to which there were absolutely no warning signs) then she is not the type of person to delete accounts and block phone calls. She would have said or at least hinted at something. She did not.
IF this is some sort of elaborate, disgusting scam or joke that someone has played on me. Then they would have to be the most horrible, sociopathic person I have ever encountered.
Keep in mind that for the latter to be true, it would mean that someone created a false life...I mean we're talking a Facebook account, e-mail, phone number, history, many friends, stories....and for what gain?? They literally got NOTHING out of it. Not enough personal information to steal my identity, not money...I can't even imagine a reason for it.
I've been completely devastated by the whole thing. I'd like to think that given the audience, at least some people here can understand how two people can create very strong emotional bonds, even if it is just online. I cared for her a lot. Try to imagine someone you cared about just disappearing off the face of the earth without any rhyme or reason...
I've started moving past it because I know I need to move on with my life even though the pain lingers, but I just NEED to know exactly what happened and why. Even if I don't like the answer, I just need to know.
I guess I'm posting this because I'm curious as to whether or not any of you have heard of something like this happening before...if you have any advice for me? Plus, its been weighing me down and it feels good getting it off my chest.
Sorry for the length, thanks for listening.
~ Marc | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:44:40 PM | | if she was in high school and you'd never met her, maybe her parents found she was up to things on the internet they didn't want her involved with. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:48:25 PM | | Well she had a pretty terrible relationship with her parents. But anyways, at the time she was living with a friend 700km away from home going to law school so I don't see that being an issue. Appreciate the thought though :) | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:55:49 PM | That is strange. I know people do disappear online and there is usually a reason, like they were married/attached and spouse found out, or they moved or something. But, I have to say, your story sounds weird. So weird, in fact, that I would have wondered if something awful had happened to her, but in that case I don't think relatives would have had the presence of mind to pull a profile so quickly. Nor would they have bothered pulling a friend's profile. Maybe they were banned by Facebook for some reason? Does that ever happen?
Something somewhat similar happened to me recently, though we had not built up the relationship you had. A guy I was chatting to hid his profile and disappeared. I texted him, as he'd given me his number and wanted to talk, but no response. No response to a phone call and message left either. He hasn't picked up his messages from PoF, but he has checked in once in the past month, god knows why. I can only assume he met someone and she laid down the law - pull the profile, no responses to anyone. The least he could have done is tell the people he'd encouraged to speak with him. I think I would have done even if I'd met a wonderful guy; it's just polite and respectful not to leave people dangling.
Do you have any information about this woman that you could use to track her down? I'm not suggesting you stalk her or bother her in any way, but just to find out if she's met with an accident or something. At least if you do find out the real story, it might put your mind at rest. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 5:11:08 PM | First off, thanks very much for the response :)
The thought that something might have happened to her has definitely gone through my mind, even though it wouldn't really make much sense for family to prevent friends from finding out by removing her profile/e-mail/etc. but it does bother me to wonder. Facebook accounts can get banned, definitely, even though I can't think of why hers would have but what really throws me off is the friend's account and her e-mail being deleted.
Unfortunately all I really have to go on is her cell number...she wasn't living at home for very long after we started talking so I don't know that address plus she was living with a friend in NY and I had no reason to ask for an address there at the time. I'm fairly certain her cell was listed under her mother's account so I'm hoping that that might get me some alternate contact information somehow.
I'm sorry to hear you faced a similar situation, it is very frustrating I'm sure. Like I said though, I have the wherewithal to understand that people sometime like to avoid confrontation and end things by just ignoring them, but just the fact that we were in contact for so long and we were not having issues of any kind doesn't really fit with that theory.
I really do need some peace of mind here, hopefully I'll find out what happened eventually.
Thanks again for the response!
~ Marc | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:11:29 PM | Marc, let me get this straight because some of your information is vague. Do you or don't you have this young lady's cell phone number and if you do, did you contact her and hear her voice message and did you leave a message to return your call?
You mentioned in your initial post that she had just finished high school when you became acquainted and that she left to attend NYU Law School in New York City. However, in order to be admitted into this extremely competitive law degree program one is required to have completed a four year bachelors degree program! Can you explain how she accomplished this feat in such an extremely short period of time?
From your post it appears that you never met this lady. Correct? If so you were actually communicating and loving an image of a person that is NOT based on any substantive foundation but on fantasy and and romantic pondering. Nothing wrong with that but it needs to be kept in mind that there was never a true relationship but a "penpal" kind of correspondence relationship. No more, no less.
IMO, If you have any reasonable means of determining if she is OK that would be a justified thing to do. Hopefully she is fine. However, quite frankly because you really don't know this person and who she is and the fact that some of her story (ie, admitted into NYU Law School) appears to be questionable I would mark this up as a passing ship in the night and move on with your life. The next time hook up with a real person in real time! I assure you its alot more fun. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:18:40 PM | | I agree that in order to go to Law school you need to have at least Bachelor's degree. It is uncler how basically within 1 year she obtained this degree after HS graduation. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:23:29 PM | | The first statement is very true. Just last night at work I was talking with a girlfriend about her neighbor...She is married and her hubby confronted her with this same issue. She was online "dating" a guy for some time and he hacked into her myspace and facebook and found out. Well, she ended up deleting her profiles and I do not think that it is going to end well. I mean, poor guy online. She never gave him an explanation either...just deleted her info. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:34:55 PM | To be completely honest with you, while I believed it was a very prestigious school, I was unaware of the requirement for admission you spoke of and it seems unfeasible that she could possibly have accomplished this in reality. For this reason and others I've landed myself on the conclusion that a portion if not most of what she has told me has been a lie. Doesn't really make it any easier to deal with but its a harsh reality.
That aside, I still would like to understand what happened and (to comfort123) I do have her cell number and have left a message to no avail. I'm doing my best to put it in the past and I haven't been moping around or anything like that its just a nagging curiosity. Also, I'd like to say that while I had very strong feelings for this girl, I didn't put my life (romantic or otherwise) on hold while we were chatting for fear of things not working out in the end (psychic...or just obvious?). I feel as if I'm coming across as a loner, with no life or social skills that relies on fantasy relationships online to feel any sort of emotional attachment. This is not the case. I lead an active and healthy lifestyle and have for a long time. That being said, obviously I let my emotions get the best of me and perhaps an innate desire for 'the perfect girl' combined, clouded my better judgment. Live and learn I suppose.
I appreciate the feedback from everyone. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:54:09 PM | | Alabamamam, NYU Law School admission specifically requires a bachelors degree which takes approximately four years to complete. Thus this lady's story that she was attending this law program raises a red flag (I'm being polite when I call it a "red flag"). It is therefore possible that when this lady believed that she was on the cusp of being found out by Marc she took off! In addition we need to question whether she actually left her home to go to New York City but merely did not want to meet with Marc (or anyone else) so fabricated this story of attending NYU. I am not saying that this is fact because no one knows for certain BUT there is strong evidence to believe that this is what may have occurred. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:21:48 PM | | either she was married and was sepaerated and went back home and husband delted all her things on the net when he found out this goes on alot with men and woman behind there spouses back when there at work or whatever ,or this wha a kid that was alot younger then she said and the parents found out and made her delete her email and other things this also happens alot i can almost bet its one or the other .thats why you never get to close to these online dating sites u never know who is on the other end ....... | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/20/2009 11:34:09 PM | | Oh I know how you feel, I had someone vanish from my life as well, only I LIVED with her. All you can really do is pick up the pieces and move on, you may never solve the riddle to what actually happened but you have to move on. Mine got solved and it was worse than having her gone. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/21/2009 12:00:39 AM |
Well she had a pretty terrible relationship with her parents. But anyways, at the time she was living with a friend 700km away from home going to law school so I don't see that being an issue. Appreciate the thought though :)
First - High school straight to Law School? Unless she got a B.A. during high school, this is unlikely.
Second - Maybe it wasn't parents. Maybe it was an obsessive burly boyfriend named Gunther that caught wind of her online activities and went ballistic.
Third - I got nothin else. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:12:22 AM | | Wow to be honest with you this is quite shocking to you especially the disappearing part. I think she was toying with you ( no im being a jerk here ). When i hit the part where you said that her facebook account is gone and her friend's as well. You sent an email and it bounced back with a failure and made a call left a msg to find it was unavailable. This is truly bizarre to me. One thing is for sure she is alright if she took the time to knock out all connection with you with what you know facebook, email and a phone number.... uhhh yeah. I'm also sure that no parents will go and delete all those account if anything, most parents do not even know how to work a computer well atleast mine doesn't XD. Well im sorry to hear this and seriously this is the 1st time i heard such thing i wish you the best of luck in getting over her. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 4/22/2009 11:54:03 AM | | Wow, sorry. But it looks like there were some signs....for instance, you don't go to law school right out of high school. ---umm, you have to go to college first. Also, her age - yes, the parents could have deleted everything. This is the sad part of electronic relationships...sometimes they're just not real. Not to be morbid, but sometimes people actually have to go into witness protection programs and literally assume a new identity (yes, I've been watching too much TV, but it is theoretically possible!) Have you tried sending a real (paper) card or letter? I don't know what else to say, except that I'm sorry....but you are young and life still holds lots of possibilities. Good luck. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 5/12/2009 3:38:44 PM | Identity theft at its finest...found the REAL girl behind the pictures. Same first name, different last name, 16 (not 18), different life, boyfriend...has no idea who I am.
Life is grand. | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 5/23/2009 3:13:51 PM | | That is scary, but I can imagine it happens a lot. I am glad you found out the truth. Be thankful you didn't give out too much information to this person! | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 5/23/2009 5:29:52 PM | | Facebook has a block option in the privacy options, she and her bestfriend may very well have just blocked you.. thus looking like they both deleted thier accounts | |
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| She vanished off the face of the earth...
Posted: 5/24/2009 11:27:52 AM | OP...you just got played. Happens all the time. Some people like to live an "alternate life" online.
Try not to take it too seriously. These pseudo-people wouldn't know authenticity if it hit them upside the head.
Sorry about your luck. | |
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