| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:53:56 PM | OK, I don't know if this post will make it past the nay sayers but here I go:
I was married to a very attractive Marlboro type looking man.Rough around the edges but a head turner for most women. After many years of unsatisfying sex he admitted to me that he had been with other men in his past and thought he might be bi-sexual.
I dated another man who was 6'3 and very masculine for almost three years and close to the end of the relationship he admitted he had thoughts of being with other men and played around with the idea in his mind but never did anything about it. Having said that I did find out he had traded e-mails with other men but again, he was just messing around (or so he said). There is no doubt by his love making as to whether or not he loved the womans body but, there was that other thing.
My nephew who is gay told me all it takes is a six pack of beer, him and any so-called horny hetero male and ....well, sex would happen.
He has also told me about the hundreds of men who are married who come to him unknown to their wives of course.
I talked to a therapist who was a friend who told me that men don't always equate having sex with a man to mean that they themselves are gay. Men see sex as sex, period. Further he went on to say that a man being gay means that he loves the emotionally loves his own sex and has very little to do with the actual sexual act.
In the past decade men have become increasingly interested in anal sex. I thought it may be porn related but now I am wondering if in reality men, truly do have a facination for other men and now that women are more willing to do anal with them, it is fullfilling all their sexual desires.
Personally, I have never had the desire to encompass a womens breast or to do anything else sexual with another woman.
So, I really really wish I could find a man that only wants a woman, never thought about another man like that and never would, but now I am thinking this is not reality.
I don't know...just asking what other women and men think about this. | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:01:12 PM | for one, your nephew is soooooooooooooooo wrong. its a 12 pack of beer and any horny hetero male................................................
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6. not gay yet
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12. ready and waiting for gay nephew to bend me over | |
|
| |
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:04:05 PM | 1) Not sure where you therapist is getting his/her info - but sorry - this particular male views sex with another male as sex AND gay. Combined.
2)I haven't once thought of WANTING to have sex with another male. Period. And not going to. Ever.
3)While I have known a number of gay men there has been a line established. I don't agree w/ your lifestyle, but...it is YOUR lifestyle. Not mine. I will respect your right to determine your own path, but if you grab my a$$, your life ends.
4)As I said in another thread - I personally think women are a whole lot more interesting to look at than men. 'ell - some of them are pretty talented chameleons - Change the hair color, style, dress all that - can go out with several different women, never have to worry about an affair. Wife, Mistress and g.f. all in one..... Men - no way can we do that....
5) Read #1 and #2 again. | |
|
| |
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:13:20 PM | Ummm first off...you need to take your Gaydar back to Future Shop, or wherever it was you bought it, and either get new batteries, or a whole new Gaydar system..I think BiTech makes a pretty reputable brand?
You can't equate anal with being gay..There are countless gay men who don't like anal, and countless threads that talk about these issues.
SO...the only thing left is, the men your'e attracting? and though, it may seem silly, you might just need to ask the guys you’re seeing if they're gay, ever been with another man, and tell them out right because of your past history, you might test them later on in your relationship until you're satisfied that they’re really not gay?
in the mean time though...what you're experiencing SUCKS to say the least...you're an attractive lady, so I don't see you having issues finding men, or having them fall all over you..It’s just making sure they're there for the right reasons I guess?
Good luck with your hetero search though!
Truth, see the world in a grain of sand-TruthinessInc | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:13:48 PM | Most hetro men would not have sex with another man if he was drunk. I am a hetro woman and never have I had the desire for another woman with or without alcohol. It is only a fraction of men that your nephew speaks of. For cryin out loud....I hope I never meet up with one and not know it. Hopefully he would be honest enough to let it out when we first meet. I am not open enough to date a man f@#cking another man while openly dating me.  | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:14:57 PM | I respect you for being so honest and open here. I have personally been surprised by first dates from a different internet dating site that seemed soooo gay to me [I no longer am on there]. I wondered why they bothered to be on the site, and why they bothered to ask me out? By "gay" I do not mean my gay radar was on overdrive. I mean, they were overly effeminate. There was a point I wanted to add "no bisexuals please" to my profile...lol....
A gay friend of mine primarily dates married men.Another told me he gets hit on by married men all the time. Particularly after they've had a few drinks. Makes me suspect of men my age who have never been married. Who knows. I just saw a comedian who said all men have some degree of gay in them. When they watch porn, a big part is watching the men in their state if glory...lol....
Love the 12 beers response! | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:16:16 PM | Ya think it is in real life with all this anal stuff? I thought it was POF. I have read way too many anal threads. I have been there done that and find it a total turn off for a man to be into getting it. I don't like for men to be feminine. I really like the body builder types. It turns my stomach to think about guys with guys sexually. Of course I see all these chicks kissing each other, dancing on top of each other, and other sexual things as being totally stupid. People act like you have a problem if you aren't into your man getting it up the butt...gahhhh
Not sure why two people can't have sex without all the toys and entering exit holes. There are a zillion positions that two people can do by themselves with varying speeds, forcefulness, etc., why isn't that enough? I think some people lack imagination and have to go with what they are reading in porn mags or seeing on tv. | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:46:46 PM | | I find it truly sad that there are people who cannot get a grasp on their sexuality - then drag another people into marriages or relationships that are not based on their true desire. Usually causing the other person to question their own ability to choose love and to feel loved as it is intended! Both move on with 'baggage' intact unable to source a firm and meaningful relationship because they have been screwed up emotionally! How sad! | |
|
| |
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:18:56 PM | 1) Anal sex with a woman has ZERO to do with being gay or bi. Anything done between a man and woman can NOT be homosexual, by definition.
2) Sex is not just sex... if its with a guy its homosexual, if its with a woman its heterosexual. If a guy likes doing both, he's bisexual.
3) A heterosexual man would NEVER have sex with another man, no matter how much alcohol was used.
The End. | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:21:36 PM | I've heard the same story your nephew told about guys who act straight but see men on the side. It's easy to do with the internet.
I've also overheard so called straight guys say it's not cheating if it's same sex. Meaning sex with a guy on the side is not cheating...is not competition for his relationship with his woman. Hmmm.
I've had three gay friends separately tell me there are way more bisexual men than gay men. I suspect this is true but a well kept secret among men.
Now, perhaps the anal fantasy would really be satisfied not by him doing her up the azz but buy her strapping one on and doing HIM up the azz.
I'm willing to put money on it a lot of men want that but will never tell. I'm pretty sure there was a thread about it and although it raised a lot of homophobia there were also a few men who admitted they do it and love it which means there are lots more in the closet.
There are always three in the closet for every one that is "out". | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:40:49 PM | I think people are born gay and people are born straight.
If your bisexual, then everybody loves you.
it's all x and y chromozones and feminine and masculine.
As a very heterosexual person I like to please a lady in as many ways as I can
But if she's not into anal then thats not a problem.
As a wize man once said, "If only I could touch you on the front.!"
Fish Wrinkle | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:51:34 PM | So what's your real question?
I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, if i am on a double date with a girl and our gay friends i hug them when they leave.
I was recently on a date and our waiter was flaming, i proposed me and him leave together and let my date finnish his shift. it was a joke, we all laughed.
I have been hit on at college parties by men while i was belligerent, kindly turned them down, just because a man is gay doesn't mean he wants every man... they aren't sex fiends, you just gotta tell em no if they happen to be attracted to a heterosexual man.
I can't say ive ever fantasized about being with a man, thought about it yes (they weren't good thoughts, yet if you think something even for a second, then you thought it)
I'm thinking you are attracted to some quality in these men, perhaps their openness to their emotions... or adventurous streak, then you get dropped because they want to be with other men.
I love beer, i like anal, i'm not gay....
Just to prove a point, i'd sit down and drink an 18 pack with your gay nephew.... and prolly leave with a new friend that respected my boundaries.
but really what were you asking? | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:56:54 PM | the men you dated have got to be bi.
Sad if a man is married and cheats with another man.
I don't know but the world is getting crazy no one, man or woman is safe to pass out. | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:13:42 PM | Leeanne, you said that it can cause the other person to question their own ability to choose love and to feel love.
It can also in part prevent someone from truly falling in love for fear she is not what a man really wants but settles for only to find out later......
For me personally, yes it has been hard. I look at a man today and wonder since I won't be having babies and providing cover for him, what does he want from me and why is it that the way I feel, my touch and my body, is not good enough?
The doubt in itself is heart wrenching. | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:31:59 PM | UHg ....I wish I could retract that last post.....give me a moment of self reflection and I end up sounding so freaking needy.....GAWD!
Hey Burgandy Bomber Boy, I wasn't dumped by either man. I freely gave up my position of domestic goddess to give them their freedom to find what it is they are looking for....and....the question is:
Are there any men out there who have never had a desire or even a moments thought, as you have, of being with another man? | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:42:26 PM | uhm... yeah like I said a thought. how would you know if you were gay or not if it didn't blip in your mind? that is ridiculous, if a man said he never had a single thought like that then.... how would he know if he was in fact straight? i just didn't like the mental image, chose not to pursue that line of thought any further.
I was trying to be friendly.... your obviously upset about this. and if they were thinking about being with other people (male or female) i'd say the relationship was headed south regardless.
btw burgundy bomber (is my truck.... just a monicker came up with for competitions)
my name's
Frank | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:44:42 PM | You're gonna need more than six beers.
I'm thinking...for me...maybe six bottles of chloroform and some dish rags.
Hope yer not actually paying the therepist. | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:45:59 PM | One need only read best sellers like On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men, and books from the Hispanic community where this is considered normal by some. Slate magazine online has done a number of pieces in white heterosexual men who also are into the down low. And yes its about sex and only sex. Like when a man is with a woman whose with another man. And then there are the heterosexual men who like a woman to use a strap on.
~Beth~ | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:49:12 PM | "Are there any men out there who have never had a desire or even a moment’s thought, as you have, of being with another man? "
*raises hand*
I think you should be playing the lotto, seriously!
I've never read ONE person finding so many closet gay/bi guys...I wonder if there's people like you so that I can find those closet, yet elusive bi girls...or better yet, if you could use your powers for good, and maybe work the airport looking for drug smugglers or terrorists? huh ! HUH!!
Yeah, I got nothing...
Truth, I'm not gay, my boyfriend IS-TruthinessInc | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:49:22 PM | nawwww.... I think your nephew is in dreamland.. I have close friends that are gay...some have tried...There is no way you could get another man and me sexually.... | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:15:07 PM | A man's outward appearance has no bearing on his sexuality. I've dated some pretty manly bi men as well as some very pretty and effeminant straight guys.
What sucks is those that are so unsure of themselves that they find it necessary to involve others in their mixed up lives.
I have no problem with any man being bi. If he's going to be with me, I'm going to know that fact prior to getting involved with him. I'm going to know his history. If I suspect that he's less than forthcoming with the truth.. than a relationship is not going to happen. I have a huge issue with being lied to. That can be a deal breaker for me.
I'm with you tho.. I've never had the desire to be with another woman in a sexual capacity. | |
|
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/23/2009 6:39:57 AM |
Are there any men out there who have never had a desire or even a moments thought, as you have, of being with another man?
Yes, right here. There's a lot of grey area between completely heterosexual and completely homosexual and I have no problem with anyone being bi or curious. I believe there's a good amount of people all along that spectrum, including way at the ends.
A previous GF, who was probably already clinically depressed due to childhood trauma, had a previous relationship for 4 yrs with a BF she truly loved. He finally broke it off saying he had been lying to himself, that he was gay. He moved away and met a guy and my GF and he remained friends. But, to her already fragile ego and low self esteem - this KILLED her. She felt she wasnt good enough, or pretty enough and even that she was such a horrible lover that she turned him gay! Of course none of that was true, but I can see how devastating it might be, especially for her as she already had confidence and self-esteem issues. I tried to get her into counseling to deal with these issues, but she wasnt ready yet. It was the downfall of our relationship. | |
|
Home
login 
