| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:27:14 PM | My guy is claiming stress has eliminated his libido. I look around and can't honestly see what stress he has. I'm not posting the details.. but he hasn't got much to stress about right now that I can see.
How do you deal with stress? Do you let it affect your libido? Since sex is a great stress reliever as well as a destroyer of it.. how does that work for you??
I can be super stressed out and yet I'm always up for a little romp and tickle... | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:31:44 PM | Being in a relationship where one is expected to perform on demand or on cue is extremely stressful for a male.
That can be just one source of "Unseen" stress.
There can be many others, but think about this one for a while.
Cheers! | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:32:59 PM | Try giving him some downtime - nice dinner, glass of wine, and a massage - no expectation of anything further.. just some TLC. It won't cure cancer or get rid of the ulcer, but if he could just relax and enjoy, even if just one evening, you might be able to enjoy a little non-sexual intimacy and who knows... reconnect.
Initial onset of stress drives up my libido, but after a while - it gets to me. Sexiness is tied to health and stress can produce a plethora of symptoms... none mood enhancing. Whether imagined or real, stress is a killer. | |
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Arc0n
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Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 4 | |
| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:44:54 PM | | That does happen. Stress can really kill a libido, though it shouldn't kill it for a rediculously long time. | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:45:57 PM | Yeah, in my experience when men are stressing over something we don't share it with our ladyfriend. That's just the way of things. The way of the Force. Unless you two sit down every night and share every detail of your lives I don't see how you can assert that he has absolutely, positively no stress whatsoever and life is dandy. Then again, maybe he has no stress, is losing interest, and is just too big of a baby to say anything.
We don't choose to let stress affect us or not affect us. It just does. And when it does we don't pick how. | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:49:04 PM | I love this...
If a man cant orgasm...its the mans fault...
if a women cant orgasm...its still the mans fault | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:24:20 PM | | I don't believe she said anything about orgasm. I believe she might be referring to a more basic "function." | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:31:11 PM | I'm not sure how all men are... but for me... I find the more stressed I am due to sources outside the relationship, the more I need a 'release'. This is why I look to my mate for that stress relief and bonding......
If the stress is actually coming from the RELATIONSHIP though...... I find I don't have that libido.
Just a thought..... | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:34:35 PM | Take it from a guy who has been there. Guys only get libido when they think there is a chance, not a certainty. If you always put out when a guy wants it, he'll start looking elsewhere. Guys like what they aren't sure they are allowed to have. If they can have it any time they want, they won't want it anymore, thus the lack of flaccidity.
Ration it out my dear. | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:00:22 PM | im glad these other guys said what they said, some guys dont believe it but it is true,.....sometimes you make us feel like it is a chore, like taking the garabage out, hanging up your new curtains ugh leave me alone no i dont wanna fvck you it gets old believe it or not we need romance too......
ive been through this, and after nagging then i would be like fine whatever, turn around.....when it was over i was like wtf am i beotching about but i never said i had a medical condition so maybe he is really in pain, maybe he has a new squeeze on the side and is all about her now? | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:05:58 PM | | He claims it is stress? Are you sure you are just not sexually compatible? I mean everyone has there down time but , I just wouldn't buy that. I personally am insulted if a man isin't stimulated by me. It shows I am not sexually attractive, or at least I take it like that however, and further the only man I would want to be with wouldn't have a problem, besides I'm sure he wants to be sexually stimulated towards a partner. I think some people have a hard time realizing when a certain relationship is not the best, or just being too lazy to start over and try to find the best.......just my view | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 11:40:23 PM |
My guy is claiming stress has eliminated his libido
I would have messaged you on this but alas -- I'm too old. 
This is not good -- you see no stress and he doesn't want anything. Personally I think something else is wrong but I don't know all that is in the mix with you two.
If it were me, I'd give some space for a few days and then "Plan" a talk on the subject.
Sorry you're going through this -- but I really understand the subject matter.
Best Wishes | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/22/2009 11:47:29 PM | stress can really screw many things up in both men and women. it all depends on the level of stress. what one simple stresser affects one in a way, it may and will affect another in a much more F@cked up way. damn libido problems really make lovins a rare occurance. but then not having a mate can make those sexual occurances rare as well | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/23/2009 12:46:56 AM | Have a couple friends who husbands are under a lot of stress because of job cut backs and their worry their job may be next. And yes sex has become less of an interest. Some people keep worries inside and dont talk about it. Open honest communication can often explain where the stress is coming from.
~Beth~ | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:30:30 AM |
I can be super stressed out and yet I'm always up for a little romp and tickle...
That would make an excellent bumper sticker or message attached to a plush doll.
Major stress and/or trauma can seriously affect a person's health, including their libido. Hopefully he'll overcome whatever is freaking him out. Until then, it might help if you support him and let him know he has your support.
no worries! | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:32:18 AM |
I don't believe she said anything about orgasm. I believe she might be referring to a more basic "function."
Who said libido is a "function"? Get your mind out of the gutter. | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:35:47 AM |
He claims it is stress? Are you sure you are just not sexually compatible? I mean everyone has there down time but , I just wouldn't buy that. I personally am insulted if a man isin't stimulated by me. It shows I am not sexually attractive, or at least I take it like that however, and further the only man I would want to be with wouldn't have a problem, besides I'm sure he wants to be sexually stimulated towards a partner. I think some people have a hard time realizing when a certain relationship is not the best, or just being too lazy to start over and try to find the best.......just my view
THAT'll help...sure...now just make it all about her. or YOU... | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:10:28 AM | OP: You're not required to get an erection!
Sometimes sex can be a great stress buster.
But sometimes stress can interfere with the workings necessary for sex.
If your man is a worrier? Then anything can be the cause of his stress....even things he has no control over!
Hell, you're expectations about his sexual output can be a stressor! | |
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| Unseen stress and libido
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:39:08 AM | Could be a a lot of different things. Stress will decrease the sex drive. Also if he has lost interst or has his eye on another.
Maybe he has some kind of stress he does not want to share with you right now?
Just hang in there maybe plan a fun filled evening where he knows you do not expect him to preform and he may just rise .. | |
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