| Need advice!
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:42:51 PM | I'm not getting the response I might expect. I'm sure there's something awkward in there somewhere, as I have a tendancy to word things differently than most people would.
I would expect women to at least be polite by replying to my messages, if only to inform me I'm not what they're looking for. I suppose that isn't the norm, so I've accepted that probably won't happen; however, I would have expected more positive replies than I've received. I'm honestly at a loss.
Any suggestions? Thanks! | |
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| Need advice!
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:54:22 PM | You have a lot of interesting stuff interspersed in your profile, and many things that might pique a woman's interest enough to message you, but it's hard to see those great things past all the "I" and "my" statements.
It's a bit jarring to read the same word over and over, and, while, it's important to convey what you are interested in and how that makes you a great catch, it would be easy for a woman to read it and think you might be a bit self-centered.
The view might be further cemented by the "I need someone willing to stand beside me" and "Think you're the one. Prove it!" statements. I get that you're trying to be****-cute, but it just comes off as****.
All of this, imo, overpowers your important message that you're a faithful and loyal person to those you care about. | |
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| Need advice!
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:57:47 PM | | oops, I guess I used a bad word (embarrassed) and the sentence doesn't really make sense without it! According to my internet sources, hubristic is a decent synonmym. :) | |
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| Need advice!
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:08:48 PM | Your "profession" is blank, however you say in your profile that you are a firebreather/pyrotechnic stuntman...why not put that in your "profession" section? Sounds pretty cool to me! | |
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| Need advice!
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:19:14 PM | LOVED your profile - you're pretty cute for a pyro..... . | |
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| Need advice!
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:21:40 PM | Here goes. Gonna rip you apart, but it is only to be kind...
I can see a few things that may be working against you here. You have a lot going for you, but you are presenting it wrong. You need to speak to a woman's heart, not her head. Don't list all your aspects like it is a job resume you're filling out.
Your first sentence "I'm quite the character." isn't that great for creating interest. If makes you sound full of yourself. Try making fun of yourself a little. It will show that you are secure, confident and fun to be around.
Write your profile a little more like you would be introducing yourself to someone in person. Say what you are writing out loud to yourself. If it doesn't sound natural, don't write it that way.
I'd suggest you use a good starting line to start your profile. Say something funny or profound that will make a girl think she may be onto something interesting.
In the next paragraph, tell her what you are all about. You can talk about all the thing you do, but don't just list them. Let her know why you are into what you're into. For example you say:
"I'm one of the directors of a non-profit organization dedicated to helping the community and environment."
Say it something like this:
"I'm one of the directors of a non-profit organization dedicated to helping the community and environment because I care deeply about people and enjoy helping those in need."
In your last paragraph, say what you are looking for in a woman. Think deeply about what you are looking for because it will save you from a lot of wasted time with people who aren't a good match for you.
Finally, the photos. Oh the photos!
Your eyes are your strong point, so get some less blurry face shots with an emphasis on your eyes. You are fortunate that way. The photo of you taking a crap on the roof isn't going to do anything for you. I'd get rid of that one.
Hope that helps. | |
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