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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > what does don't want to rush into anything mean      Home login  
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 venus4446
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 1
what does don't want to rush into anything meanPage 1 of 1    
Met a guy from pof,ended up we knew one another when we were kids.So we met face to face,had a fun night,but didn't hear from him.text him and asked if he felt any kind of connection and he wrote back "you are very nice,but don't want to rush into anything,quit worrying". Any thoughts as to how I should take this?
 AdM01
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 2
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 8:33:59 AM
Ball is in his court. If he doesn't contact you next, then you know it basically means he felt no connection other than friendship. But there are many variables.. he could be busy with work. He could just be naturally a slow mover and wants to take his time.
Don't sweat it, let him make the next move. If he truly is interested he'll make his move sooner rather than later.
 venus4446
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 3
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 8:35:43 AM
thanks dastable,appreciate the advice.......will wait to see if he responds.
 Sully28
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 4
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:02:22 AM
from my experience on here (yet it is brief) most of these girls are lonely and desperate for attention, he probably is saying he doesnt want to rush into anything for the same reason i would.....

its not cause i wanna keep my options open, its just some girls off here are ready to be bf and gf like right now, yeah you can learn about people through Im text emails phone calls ect. but you only know what they want you to know......you are at a little advantage cause you knew him in a previous life so your a little more familiar with his background.........

personaly i would call him one last time and leave a nice short messege something like hey whats up? havent heard from ya in awhile just seeing how everythings going, maybe throw a wow ive been really busy with work lately, but dont say anything like why havent you called? i thought you were going to text me? you didnt say gdnite..these will only hurt your situation

what do you have to lose?
 venus4446
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 5
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:05:01 AM
Thanks sully,good advice!
 themancometh
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 6
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:05:54 AM
well you have two possible out comes one is that he is not interested but wants to let you down gentley or he is taking a far more mature approach to the new possible relationship, especially as you knew one another before but in a different context.

You wanted to know and he said dont worry so what are you worried about women often over analize things and come up with the wrong conclusion.
 venus4446
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 7
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:08:32 AM
thanks theman,you are so right,I am very analytical and it's not always a good thing.
 dignity925
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 8
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what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:15:06 AM
If a person says they don't want to rush into anything it means that they are not ready to commit themselves to a relationship. They don't want all the responsibilities that come along with being in a relationship - planning weekends together, remembering birthdays, the daily phone calls, etc. Heck, I might use that line in the future :-)

If you keep trying to initiate contact you'll probably just make him distance himself from you. Sit back, enjoy life, and someday he may or may not call you back. In the meantime, I'm sure there are plenty of other fish....good luck!
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9
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what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:33:06 AM
His comments usually mean that he will keep you in mind, but that he is not that into you, or he has a couple of others that interest him more......

Why sweat the small stuff? Roll the ball in his court and let him decide if he wants to play or not, and move on with your life. Email him that you had a great time, and would enjoy getting to know him better, and if he would like that, for him to give you a call and the both of you can check calendars to see when available.

I usually find out how the other feels at the end of the first meet and greet, and then I either set a date or time for a second meeting, or I will give them the time to evaluate our time together and get back to each other in the next few days.

If there is not the attraction, or chance for that chemistry, I will email them, or call them, and let them know thank you, but I see only friendship in our future, and if they feel the same way, I would like to know that as well.

Usually you can tell on that first meeting, if there is attraction or not, and it does not mean that we will have a relationship, or bed each other, but it will let you know if that is not even a possibility.

Just my opinion........
 MAESBABY63
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 10
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:44:31 AM
Take it at face value. A guy told me that too and I overanalyzed it and jumped the gun, just what he didn't want and I blew it. Let him take the lead and if he doesn't well on to better. Think long, think wrong!
 9to9
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 11
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:13:26 AM
Msg1.

Obviously as he intends. If you want more with this person, then you'll move at their pace. If you don't why ask why?

He has his reasons, if their not expressed thats really not your problem OP.

After all it was only one date, and childhood connections have their place in the "now". Of equal obviousness is the fact that if the childhood connection was that significant then, the person would be a constant friend now.

People disappear in and out of ones life like buss boys in a cheap hotel, especially if they make no attempt to stay near and dear to ones heart.

You might ask yourself this question:

How significant is this thing really, as opposed to how significant I want this to be?

The answer is simple and sane. Time. Invest that well, with anyone or anything, and happiness is highly probable.

So the answer to
Any thoughts as to how I should take this?
, is really a matter of what one wants, as opposed to the reality present. Precieve that accurately, and with this situation or any other and you'll find your solution/ couse of action. Give yourself time.

9to9
 jakeya99
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 12
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:16:35 AM
Take is as he had a good time, but you did not blow him away so much that he's ruined for other women. I think he's having fun playing the field.

You should be careful now and don't do anything you'll regret later... wondering "why he disappeared" or "why won't he commit to me after I slept with him"?
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 13
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what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:25:20 AM
Well, I've never used that line, but to me, it sounds like a polite way to blow you off. Who knows? Oh wait, HE knows! So, why not ask HIM? There's certainly nothing wrong with asking for clarification on such an obscure comment. OR, you can just sit around and wait to see if he responds, right?
 Just_2_b_me
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 14
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:27:35 AM

His comments usually mean that he will keep you in mind, but that he is not that into you, or he has a couple of others that interest him more......


I’m gonna second that,

Typically, (at least when I was still dating) if I went out with someone and was attracted to her, plus had a good time, I would at the least call, or send an email the next day letting her know I had fun and I am looking forward to “perhaps” getting together again. How she responded or didn’t if the case may be, would show me her level of interest, and then I would take it from there (If this wasn’t covered already at the end of the first meeting.)

Take it slow and easy yourself, don't call again, let him make the next move, you don’t want to come off as desperate or clingy, or in a rush for a committed LTR after only one date.
 venus4446
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 15
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:41:21 AM
Thanks for comments,don't misunderstand.........was not looking for anything as of now but I feel that usually for me anyway it takes more than one meeting to know how you feel about dating someone...........unless it was a bad experience to start with.Mainly was just curious to know if he was attracted at all.I think dating at my age is alot less FUN than when I was 25........
 itsthemoops
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 16
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:57:17 AM
this is not necessarily a "ask a guy" issue...it's a universal theme...if someone isn't reciprocating or is moving more slowly than you are, it means they aren't as into you as you are them...plain and simple

a huge majority of people base "chemistry" on looks rather than the whole package....and that's why I don't get much traffic on this site...I am actually good looking and I have pictures but I don't post them...it forces women to look at me as a person and what I have to offer rather than what I look like
 zapped
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 17
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:25:38 PM
Ok you guys known each other when you were kids, youve dated him--had a fun night and that was it.OP it was just a DATE--it didnt mean anything--again ITS JUST A DATE.Its because you had fun it will lead into something. Probably that's the reason why he said he dont want to rush anything because he looked at it just a PLAIN DATE.
Who knows he dated you just to catch up.Lol--- the dude was straight to the point to tell you to "quit worrying"--he meant it--thats almost saying like"RELAX ,girl it was only a date why you think of something else"
Also, OP--by not contacting you if he enjoyed the date with you --could possibly means he wasnt that attracted to you.Because if he was he would have called you and tell you what he thought about you.
Sometimes men dont have to tell us that they dont want to pursue for more by NOT CONTACTING US and we have to get the message.It might look like informal,impolite or whatever it is--BUT thats the way it is.They dont owe us anything it was just a first date.
You already contacted him once and thats it--do not contact him anymore.
AS what I said----IT WAS JUST A FECKIN <----(that wasnt intended to you)SIMPLE DATE" nothing else.
 Jim978
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 18
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:59:06 PM
Simon And Garfunkel can explain most anything...

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.


 FourUms
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 19
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what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 5:02:17 PM
Usually the one saying they don't want to rush is saying one of two things. They have circumstances beyond their control which they want to get in order first - making the divorce final, moving into a new home, switching jobs, ending the custody battle, etc. Or, they want to leave their options open, because you don't immediately appear to be what they were really looking for.

Sometimes people can choose to "take things slowly" which I think has a different meaning, usually related to how soon sex enters the picture.
 stopn2sayhi
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 20
what does don't want to rush into anything mean
Posted: 4/23/2009 6:07:02 PM
That he doesn't want to rush into anything. Believe him.

I have this same perspective right on my profile. Take it at face value. My reason is because I'm busy- I don't have time to invest further into romantic possibility. I'm also not in a rush for anything serious rightnow. Soon, but now right now.
I want quality- that's worth waiting for.
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