| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/23/2009 8:45:16 PM | I know, it sounds sexist and I know women do this too.
Twice this month I've met 2 emailers. One begged me to talk to him and he didn't look too bad so we started emailing fairly frequently. Then nothing, nada, won't reply to emails yet he does come online. He lowered the age of the women he was interested in and he thought I couldn't see him.
The second one emailed me for longer. I hate getting to know about someone by email, its a waste of time, well a waste of my time. Again the emails just stopped. I've seen him online almost every day but he won't reply to the emails I've sent. The conversation was going well, or so I thought. I wish these fools would find something else to to do with their time.
Anyone know why people do this? Do they realize how they make a person feel by doing this? Anyone with psychology training that can answer this? Maybe people would think before they do this. If you don't want to continue the conversation, just tell the person you're not interested.
I don't know if this will make it past the censors and I don't feel its a pity thread. It just that it happened with 2 guys in a row and I don't understand what makes a person do this.
okay...rant is over  | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:19:42 PM | Everyone is looking for something. I never take it personal if I am rejected. Remember who you are and all the great things you have to offer.
The right one will come along. When you least expect it. Chin up. :) | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:32:26 PM | | Yes EQ-but it is soooo frustrating to take the time to get to know someone and they are too rude or whatever to let you know why they are finished. | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:52:43 PM | Great lyrics from the famous Tammy Wynette sums it up " 'cause after all he's JUST a man"
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:26:24 PM | ^^^
wow sambo... for someone who just accused me of being a chauvinist, that a pretty telling statement. | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/23/2009 11:43:43 PM | When I managed telephone representatives, I used to hate them telling our customers "No Problem".
I believe in postives, and although "No Problem" denotes one, "Problem" is still a negative and I coached them to find positive alternatives. I just think it's a better way to sell something.
The moral of the story is, my people were so good that our company canceled the $60,0o0 in bonuses due after a trial run because everyone was hitting the mark and they didn't want to pay out. 2 weeks before payday after 6 months of adjustments and improvement! I heard some negatives that day!
Just always be positive. | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 3:52:50 PM | Welcome to the world of catalog, errr online dating. There seems to be two trains of thoughts in my experience, aim for the sky, and see what the arrow hits on the way way down. Or, shoot at the curb, and anything above is gravy, or a lucky bounce.
People suck. 
It is too easy to get caught up in all of this, and without any real investment in a person, it is too easy to just move on. People all too often don't take anybody else's feelings into account. | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 7:00:12 PM | | you would figure they would have the decency to say,sorry not interested after some chat in a polite way,specially if they are still on.Well its the same from both sides so its not just the men who do it.I guess some people feel they dont owe it to anyone to be respectable,what else could it be other then. | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 7:05:11 PM | People suck.
I think you summed it up very appropriately. (the laugh thingy doesn't copy, lol) | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 8:19:56 PM | oh come'on you guys..some people suck..some don't!!!
lol
and yes..i am pretty sure woman do it as well..and have had it done to me as well at times...
and at times..'gulp'...have been at a total loss for word's..tired..whatever..and have not replied to some....
so sue me
meh! | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:19:38 PM | Well then you, as well as I, sometimes suck!
As much as I want to say I am always perfect, always nice....sometimes....I'm too tired....
and then I'm quite sure of the comments that ensue..........what a B___!
Tip of the day - Don't show your pic :) | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:24:26 PM | Tip of the day - Don't show your pic :)
ur funny daisy!!!
made me speeeeeeeeeeew my drink all over my screen!!!
i will add that...we might be b_! etches if we don't answer our mail..however..we are perfectly nice ones....bit tired maybe...LOL... | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:27:25 PM | | wow i have to take notes here , mite learn something | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:30:43 PM | pay very carefull attention!!
take ur pic down
don't answer mail
apparently it's been working for Daisy...
(i am jk sweets... )
hehe | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:33:04 PM | wow now that i think about it i got emails when i had no pic now i get a rare one occasionally , hmmm thanks  | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:34:15 PM | Yeah, it's working, but it's vewy...q-u-i-e-t !
Can we find a happy medium?
p.s. I think there are those that specifically e-mail those with no pic. I don't know what to think of that yet. It will take me a little bit.... | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:35:50 PM | as i post on my profile i refuse to pose in my bathing siut to get favorites so i will live alone  | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:40:48 PM | Woe is us, dddiesel. Tears flowing all over the world....
LOL | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:44:29 PM | | isn't there a song about tears flowing all over the world?? must be cause men do this , stayin on topic lol | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:45:24 PM | oh
that's easy Daisy....they want to get to know the real genuine you...
no happy mediums here....the happy ones are on Paranormal...lol....
it's either fiest or famine around these here parts..go figure...I get no mail for years...change up my profile......all i said was i make home made pyrogies...
humph!!!!
I'm going to e-harmony!!!
>>>>>>:(<<<<<<<
this is my very sad face cause I don't get to see pic of diesel in a bathing suit!!!
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/25/2009 7:51:32 AM | So busy yapping I didn't even look at your profile, Alice. I love it!
Seriously though OP, although frustrating, it's just how online chatting sometimes goes. e-mails trickle to a slow and sometimes suddenly stop. I'd really be quite shocked to get a message stating that we won't continue conversing. | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/25/2009 8:20:04 AM | | I never understood why we need to know "why". After "I'm not interested," it's all white noise anyway. Would you really change anything about yourself for the sake of a few more emails? It seems asking why someone's isn't interested is asking for insults and putting you in a position where you feel you have to justify yourself. A lot of work for someone who isn't interested in you. | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:06:28 AM | ^^^^^^ What she said is so true. There are too many possible reasons, and whatever the reason is it doesn't really matter, does it? What would it change if you did know?
Oh -- and please excuse me -- I didn't see this is for Alberta locals, my bad. | |
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| Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:49:48 AM |
I never understood why we need to know "why". After "I'm not interested," it's all white noise anyway. Would you really change anything about yourself for the sake of a few more emails?
To my mind there is a difference between changing myself and changing how I interact with the world. The latter may change as when I'd get an answer it may help me piece together ways to improve future attempts at finding someone. For example, there have been some on here that while I did get the "I'm not interested" what did follow was interesting to me and shifted some of my focus. This doesn't change who I am but it does change what parameters I'm using in my search for a significant other.
For example, some people over in the "Profile Reviews" get replies from people that aren't interested in them, but they try to help the one asking for feedback and help. Do the people getting reviewed change themselves or do they change how they appear to the world? I think it is more the latter than the former.
It seems asking why someone's isn't interested is asking for insults and putting you in a position where you feel you have to justify yourself. A lot of work for someone who isn't interested in you.
No, in asking why someone isn't interested it presents the opportunity for the challenge of giving feedback that may be useful as well as the challenge of accepting the criticism. Granted that not every time will the outcome be useful, but I don't think every time the outcome is useless either. The dynamic here can be a tricky one, but this is how we learn at times, by finding the "why."
Just putting in my two cents here. | |
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