| Proper "Blocking" etiquette
Posted: 4/25/2009 10:41:44 PM | | Alright, I know there are alot of jerks out there that don't understand what "no" or "not interested" mean. I try to be very sensitive to that. If I notice that I have not recieved a reply or that a message has not been read, the lady is not interested. This is what bugs me, the other day I sent a message (i.e. it was a decent comment-nothing demeaning or disrespectful). The next day I saw that this particular lady had read but not responded to my first message. After typing a new message, I went to send it and find that I had been "blocked". I wish the POF mail system would alert you before you try and compose a new email. As a result I wasted about 3 more minutes on this uninterested person than I should have. I guess the lesson is- if they don't respond after one attempt, don't waste your time. Does anyone else have anything to add? Personally I think it is rude to "block" someone after I email. Am I wrong? | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/25/2009 11:19:04 PM | I don't think its rude.
She didn't respond and she didn't want to get a second email from you. I'm not saying that you would have said something nasty, but sometimes these second emails are quite mean.
Can I ask this? If you knew she was not interested and she didn't respond, why were you sending her a second email? | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/25/2009 11:31:22 PM | I have actually had some success with second emails. I find that some women will read your emails without responding. Sometimes it takes the extra "nudge" of a second mail message to get their attention. As a male, I have found (over the years) that persistence pays off.
I know exactly what you mean about rude or nasty 2nd emails. I fail to understand why people feel the need to be rude or disrespectful just because someone isn't interested in them! I guess that is one problem we won't solve here ! | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:03:14 AM | gdog,
persistance also pisses people off so why don't you stop being so pushy.
i'd block you too... | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:12:31 AM | It was a preemptive block. She read your first email and decided she didn't want to hear from you again. Since you were going to email her again, she saved herself from another email.
Sorry you feel like you wasted your time. Internet dating can get that way. But really is three minutes all that much?
If POF had to send emails for every block I am sure the system would come to a grinding halt.I am sure the admins at POF do not want a million emails from users saying " why did this user block me" or requests to be unblocked so they can connect with someone who has no desire to be connected with.
I normally don't block after one email, most people get the hint. Maybe some women haven't been as lucky as me and don't feel they need to tolerate additional emails from someone.
When I looked back over my block list I could recall why I blocked each one.
One sent me a crazy love poem. Another insisted we were soul mates. One referred to himself in third person. One admitted that he was trying to find a date for his friend. The rest included their phones numbers in their first email and not much else.Everyone has their reasons, and they will be different for every person. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:24:58 AM | Since a pretty standard second email without a response to the first is generally filled with hatred and insults... I don't blame her in the least for blocking anyone if she determines that she doesn't wish to communicate with them...
I've only had one true complaint on my pre-emptive blocks and that was from someone that wanted to flame me for an opinion I posted in the forums. I didn't want to hear about it...  | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:34:51 AM | I don't have a big blocking history, you have to tick me off pretty good for me to block you. I am kinda surprised that women use the blocking option so randomly.
Reasons I will block:
Crude and disgusting emails
I have been involved with you and he just won't let it die
He said he loved me in the third email...alrighty then
If someone flames me for my forum opinion privately, I will take it right back to the forum with them, no blockage necessary, just know that before you send me a Nasty-gram. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:38:24 AM | If someone read/doesn't read/deletes your first email, why even bother with a second? As far as being rude, that person has probably been bombarded with second emails from people who sent first emails that were deleted without an answer.
I have only blocked a couple of men: one was after a first email that was threatening, accusing me of being another woman and that he would "be watching me." I think he used the technique into intimidating women to respond to him protesting that he had the wrong woman, then he would admit his mistake and they would both be "relieved." The other was a man who was extremely rude when I said I wasn't interested. In this case, my problem is that there are some emails that I should delete without reading, but curiosity always gets me, so--BLOCK.
But I have been blocked on several occasions, and it always is funny. Most of the time it is from a man who emails me, I say I am not interested, he gets verbally insulting, I respond (hey, if they are that idiotic, I'll play with them), he gives me a coup de gras such as "I lied when I said u r preety, u r realy ugly [sic]." And then he blocks me.
What is even more amusing is when they forget they block me, and approach me again in a few weeks or months--I can't respond to say, "Hey, dude! You blocked me!"
The other man who blocked me is one who lied about his age by at least eight years and slipped up when we met. I emailed him to ask what his REAL age is, and he never answered. Some time later, I sent another email asking again, he had blocked me.
If they read/delete, don't contact them again. It's just that easy. If the delete were a mistake, they can find you on POF. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 10:19:41 AM | | It's funny how you write one thing on one sentence, and then you write that you did another thing on the next sentence... hahaha... silly man... | |
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MizAnj
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Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 10 | |
| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 10:27:24 AM |
The next day I saw that this particular lady had read but not responded to my first message. After typing a new message, I went to send it and find that I had been "blocked".
Why would you write her another message if you just said that you assume they are not interested if they did not respond...
It boggles the mind... | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 10:44:31 AM | | To be honest I block when men dont read my profile. Like when I get emails from guys over 30 or 35 who dont understand that I prefer younger men. Its gotten bad enough where I have had to be rude about it on my profile. If Im not interested I wont bother with the email, but after one no response men need to get the point and stop trying to communicate with that person since they are clearly not interested. If you get blocked its not the end of the world get over it and move on. Just saying | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 2:49:55 PM | I know what you mean OP, it's the "block and awe" tactic used by some because they don't want to be dissed. I simply delete those emails without reading them. Good luck to you.   | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 2:59:37 PM |
He said he loved me in the third email...alrighty then
MizBek;
HHhmmm...so how would a first reply in forums requesting marriage go ???? 
Kidding - just couldn't help myself.
Seriously - OP - Don't get too wound out. Some here are really laid-back, easy to talk with. Some, well...not so easy to talk with.
And get attitudes really fast with the whole 'online dating' thing. Just remember - it is *SOME* of them. Most I have found to be rather pleasant. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 3:24:29 PM | | Maybe I'm just too new at this, but wouldn't it be easier if we could just politely say "No thanks" instead of leaving anyone hanging? | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 3:45:05 PM | tigerdreamer,
yeah, i guess you are new at this...
etiquette is one thing and it's something we used to push on our kids as we were raising them.......how to be kind, polite and such but now here we are a bunch of adults and no one really cares anymore how anyone treats anyone else.
of course there are those that still write the polite "no thank-you" but here on POF, after you've done that, sometimes it's not enough and the one who initiated the first e-mail doesn't know how to gracefully let things go so they at times write nasty e-mails back, name calling and the like. people get tired of it and at our age (including whatever age people on here are), then we have very little tolerance for this stuff because it's a waste of time and energy so it's easier to block and it puts an end to the BS.
that should say something about our world, our standards and morals, our character in general and being here on POF | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 3:45:59 PM | Yes, tigerdreamer you are new.
When we do that after the first email message, than we get bombarded with all the nasty/insulting messages following our polite, "No Thanks"!
That being said, is the main reason for not responding. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 3:59:32 PM | I block women who havent replied or have said they werent interested.
That at least ensures I dont get a second rebuff !
Blocking is absolutely vital to internet dating, without it the internet dating wouldnt be tolerable. It would also mean that the moderators would be busy all day chucking people off here. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 4:09:48 PM | The quote "Persistence beats Resistance" sounds catchy, but doesn't work all the time.
She took the initiative and blocked you, while it may not feel good to experience, the best thing to do is to keep moving and don't spend anymore time worrying about someone who doesn't want any more correspondence from you. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/26/2009 4:35:52 PM | | there is really no proper way to block someone , well without causing some trouble or annoying the other person . blocking should only be used in the most necessary cases or to end contact with someone that you have zero interest in . but to just block people for little reasons is going to cause grief anf trouble . | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:34:49 PM | Well, thanks a bunch! You all taught me a lot here; thanks for your posts! No more 2nd emails! I promise! I appreciate all of your comments ; you are a terrific group!
Gdog  | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/28/2009 7:22:35 PM | | POF says some people get too many emails to read them all. That would tend to promote followup email to those not answered. I would suggest, instead of leading someone on, delete their email to let them know your are not interested. A blocked email is more of a "your scum" response than a "not interested" response. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/28/2009 7:29:37 PM | | I agree, pretty rude. I think some ppl on here could show a little more class. I find it frustrating when ppl look at my profile and then don't even read my email before they make their mind up that I'm not worthy. But it takes all kinds. One way to look at it is to be grateful that you yourself aren't that insensitive. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/30/2009 6:47:18 AM | Hi,
I have read with interest the Blocking Topic.
I fully respect that people will block someone, and the reason is there business.
No one has really brought up the subject that replying to ANY message or email is just common courtesy and manners.
I would not DREAM of ignoring an email or message from anyone.
If i was not interested, i would suggest tactfully that maybe we wanted different things, and wish good luck on the site etc.....
A SIMPLE answer........ If you answer the first email politely, why not block him straight AFTER you sent it?? That way, if he does come back with a nasty message, he will be blocked.
If he is a decent guy, he would not pursue it anyway...
Is this method not a good compromise??? | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/30/2009 7:49:37 AM | | I dont use the block feature - luckily I haven't felt the need to. However, I arranged a date with someone and messaged the next day to confirm the time etc to find he had blocked me - go figure! | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 4/30/2009 8:25:15 AM | I used it once, when I found out a woman was not only married, but married to a guy in my command who was away in Iraq! I sent her an email saying why I was cutting contact and she kept on emailing me.
That's career death for me right there, and she didn't care. Pretended to be single, but when I saw her post on a friends Facebook wall, I clicked on her profile, and every third post was "I miss my husband" or such. | |
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