| | If I had a penis...Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I would learn how to write my entire name in cursive in the snow.
I would pee in your bushes.
I would constantly send pictures of it to men to show them how BIG it is.
Yes, I am sure that if I had one, it would be huge & very pretty. I would spurt rose petals instead of sperm. Those rose petals would taste like manna. Or coconut. I haven't decided.
I'd probably constantly grab it to make sure it was still there in my pants. But I would only do that if people were looking at me.
I would still only have sex with men, but I would always preface our love making by saying"Honestly, honey, just the tip. You'll hardly feel me in there." before I rammed it all the way up his virgin butt.
Then I'd make threads on POF about how my boyfriend cries every time we have sex.
Oh, if I only had a penis. | |
|
| |
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 4/27/2009 3:05:01 PM | Oh come on! Like you haven't thought of it yourself. ;)
I'm curious as to what other women would do if they had one. They seem like so much fun to own.
It's not fair that men get to have that PLUS testicles.
Actually, they can keep the testicles. Those seem like way too much trouble to own. They get saggy and sweaty and kind of smell like mushroom tacos when they haven't been washed. They seem to stick to everything, too.
EDIT FOR THE POSTER BELOW:
Absolutely!! I am very jealous of their ability to take a leak anywhere while being clothed. No penguin waddling while p*ssing on your own leg for them. lucky men. >:-| | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 4/27/2009 3:14:50 PM | | ive always told my best male friend that if i had a penis i would yank on it vigorously all day long, up and down, side to side. and really get to know how it feels when it slides between a girls lips, either on her face or the lips between her hips ;) and i swear, that whole being able to pee wherever you need to, no squatting or removal of clothing. oh yes | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 4/27/2009 3:43:49 PM | Any woman who truly envies a man's ability to pee outside, needs to google "The Shenis."
And honestly ladies, if you had a penis, you'd spend the first 3 days adjusting to having balls. | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 4/27/2009 10:22:18 PM |
I would learn how to write my entire name in cursive in the snow.
Don't feel bad; I can't do that either.
It never snows here... | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:34:06 AM | it would be worth it just to be able to pee anywhere
without squatting or getting splashed.
But do I really want one No not really since they seem not to be able to think when the penis takes over. | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 4/28/2009 9:42:33 AM |
But do I really want one No not really since they seem not to be able to think when the penis takes over.
The reason for this is quite simple. We have enough blood to run our brain and penis only problem is that its just enough to run ONE at a time
 | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:29:25 PM | well if a penis had been created by a woman it would have a pouch of some sort to be tucked in to ,nice and tidy, and testicles would only inflate when in use much more comfy ha ,mmm like that thought  | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 4/28/2009 3:59:07 PM |
it would be worth it just to be able to pee anywhere
Women can pee anywhere too as long as they're wearing skirts with no panties... | |
|
| Accessories.
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:16:44 PM | pinkmews: Ooooh, I like the pouch idea, but certainly not "A" pouch! A woman must have them to match her shoes, outfits, moods, etc. I have one major problem: I buy certain fabrics/colors that I like and upon which I can build outfits with shoes, hats, purses and such. One of my favorites is an emerald green velvet. I think I can foresee a small problem having something fuzzy and green in *that* area... ya think???
 | |
|
| Accessories.
Posted: 4/29/2009 8:49:09 AM | When ya get older you wish you can pee anywhere as you gotta pee more..But there are cameras my friend got a 600.00 fine outside his place of business, and some towns will make you register as a sex offender for pulling your pee pee out so you can't just pee anywhere..I have a neighbor though pee's in the yard hates using the bathroom and one night as the local police were chasing 6 fellas that just killed someone downtown the gangbangers stopped just short of my neighbor who was standing there four in the morning with his penis in his hand..On the other side of these two shocked killers were several police officers with their penis extentions in their hands..You gotta wonder what all concerned were thinking at that moment in time..? | |
|
| Am I THAT old????
Posted: 4/29/2009 9:50:30 AM | | OMG Byrd, I can relate to that. "Back in the day", I was a young hippie hanging out 'groovin' with my friends in the local park. Suddenly, the sirens were screeching and all three cop cars from the small town came screaming to a halt at the corner. The police leapt out, guns drawn and yelling at the poor lone man scrambling by a tree. I remember thinking "Damm, I think they caught Patty Hearst!" Turns out they caught some poor schmuck who peed out back down by the fire station. I guess I'm glad I don't have one of those offensive things after all! May getcha killed!!! | |
|
| Am I THAT old????
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:52:21 AM | I would not have to use the port-a-potty neeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrly as often!
Annie
Okay guys, gotta run. Time to finish planting some flower seeds and mow some more grass | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 4/30/2009 11:53:08 AM | It's funny, this is a discussion (for the most part) about what women would do if they had a penis. Guys have a penis and all they want is to get some p***y.
Ironic eh? | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:19:14 AM | No. No it's not. Irony is wanting a penis but having a golden vagina.
Or is that more of a health issue?
I'm surprised. I thought more women would chime in on this one. They probably all have one already, but it's attached to a man. *sigh* | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 5/6/2009 11:02:22 AM | | Good one..Now this makes me think what if I have vagina...real tight one...LOL | |
|
Selima
| | Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 18 | |
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 5/6/2009 11:09:21 AM |
I'm surprised. I thought more women would chime in on this one. Sorry hun, I don't need or want a penis. I do everything I want, have everything I want, and am everything I want to be without one.  Girls are just better.  | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 5/6/2009 8:27:33 PM | Messages 15 and 16: Those are not examples of irony.
My uncle smoked for sixty years. People convinced him to try to quit to improve his health, and he choked to death on a piece of nicotine gum.
That, my friends, is irony writ large.
| |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 5/7/2009 3:30:00 PM | | I have one... I'm happy with it - but it doesn't come without some occasional annoyances. If you want to understand some - get a sausage, peal two hard boiled eggs and put them in the crotch of your panties for a day - then maybe you'll be a little more tolerant next time you see a guy "arranging" things. As for writing you name in the snow... waaaaay overated - but not having to get next to naked to pee... that is a very good thing. I hope some of you will opt to keep your own equipment - without those life would be SO sad... | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 5/8/2009 12:25:33 PM | I, in fact, have penis pity.
See if you can tell who I am impersonating: "I pity the penis!"
Wait, and isn't this an old folk song, "If I had a penis..."
| |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 5/8/2009 1:01:00 PM | | this was one lovely read. i would also do the same if i had a penis.....................................................................................i would also point it people and say thats the booty im gonna get freaky with. then i will get beat up and cry all by myself....................or something like that | |
|
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 5/23/2009 12:09:12 PM | Last night, while squat hovering over the toilet at the movie theater, then losing my balance when someone banged on the door, I again had penis envy over men never having to experience the shcoker of a stranger's old, cold urine on their ass .
Except for those folks who are into that.
Meanwhile, mine still chaffes at the disinfecting I had to do last night when I got home.
Grrrr. If you are going to piss on the seat, CLEAN IT UP!! | |
|
crepit
| | Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 24 | |
| |
CCCNO
| | Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 25 | |
| If I had a penis...
Posted: 5/23/2009 5:28:47 PM | I would like to take you for a date. When summer suasage go on sale at the grocery store. I believe you would enjoy it. | |
|
Home
login 
