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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Tuckers Dad
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 1
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?Page 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Well, I have to say that I have backed off dating for several weeks now, and mainly participate in the forums. And boy, I have to say that Internet Dating seems to have really hit the all time low for being shallow and negative.

For those old enough to remember before the Internet, how did we get dates? Friends, family, co-workers.

And for those computer savy and old enough, remember Prodigy and AOL?

What did all these things hve in common? You were willing to put the time and effort into getting to know someone instead of brushing them aside.

It seems it is impossible to post the perfect profile or perfect pix. With todays USATODAY variety dating, it appears that folks are too willing to judge by the superficial, and rush to judgement.

Yes, we all would like to meet our perfect match. But what is perfect? We know what we dont like, but are we sure of what we do want?

So many profiles read "If I am interested, I will respond". What ever happened to simple manners and send an email saying "Hi, thanks for the response, but we are not a match".

Does anyone else feel the same way? Has the internet diluted the dating pool and chances of meeting a good friend?

And no, I am not talking about the profiles that are looking for friends with benefits, booty calls, or other unrealistic requirements.

Just the ones where one honest person is lookingfor another honest person.
 Mikey7619
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 2
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 9:33:50 AM
People dont respond because they are worried about getting nasty E-mails back.. Simple solution... Write I dont think we are a match.. good luck in your search then as soon as you send the E-mail block the person
 the.best.guy.ever
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 3
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Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 9:52:43 AM
Women get 10-50 emails a day... do you really think it is practical to sit down and email a rejection notice to every single one??? You have to understand that though it seems rude, it's easier to just not respond and move along. As mentioned above, many men (and it works both ways) send rude remarks if they get rejected etc etc... all for what??

If women don't respond to your email within a couple of days... move on. End of story.
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 4
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 10:16:51 AM

Well, I have to say that I have backed off dating for several weeks now, and mainly participate in the forums. And boy, I have to say that Internet Dating seems to have really hit the all time low for being shallow and negative.

For those old enough to remember before the Internet, how did we get dates? Friends, family, co-workers.

And for those computer savy and old enough, remember Prodigy and AOL?

What did all these things hve in common? You were willing to put the time and effort into getting to know someone instead of brushing them aside.


I will agree with you here. Too many out there want it all to be instant. They want to believe they can see chemistry based on a profile and a photo. Too many do not want to invest the time in getting to know someone.

Everyone wants a RL "NOW NOW NOW" but fail to see why so many RLs and marriage fail. No one invests the time.


It seems it is impossible to post the perfect profile or perfect pix. With todays USATODAY variety dating, it appears that folks are too willing to judge by the superficial, and rush to judgement.

Yes, we all would like to meet our perfect match. But what is perfect? We know what we dont like, but are we sure of what we do want?


This more or less then is a clear sign that online dating isn't for you, and maybe it's time you rethink yourself and find other methods to meet people and be sociable.

Don't feel bad either...I felt the same about me.


So many profiles read "If I am interested, I will respond". What ever happened to simple manners and send an email saying "Hi, thanks for the response, but we are not a match".


Well...we have to blame a few bad apples on our end for that. While many of us males will simply back off, too many others will either reply with something rather harsh to the woman who was only being honest, or they will badger her with "why?" questions, hoping to change her mind.

This is why I am all for a "reject" button that blocks that person. So people can honestly answer and then be done with that person for good.


Does anyone else feel the same way? Has the internet diluted the dating pool and chances of meeting a good friend?

And no, I am not talking about the profiles that are looking for friends with benefits, booty calls, or other unrealistic requirements.


Friends? Who would join a dating site to make friends? I understand the idea of your lover being your best friend, but I get amused by the few who join a dating site thinking they'll make some friends, then complain later how everyone they meet really wants to be more than friends. If it were up to me, I would not even have it as a choice. If you want friends, then go join a social group or something.

The internet just gave everyone more choices. In the past you were limited to your neighborhood and social circles. Now you can find thousands of people...so some will turn the standards meter up to an unrealistic level and hope to attain that.


Just the ones where one honest person is lookingfor another honest person.


That's the same line everyone says. I'm sure it's true, but your post tells me online dating isn't for you and thus you should try other avenues.
 bella0900
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 5
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 10:55:16 AM
internet dating is like a roller coaster, you are up one day and down the next you just have to develop a thick skin and move on. It is more like a big shopping catalog with everything on sale, but many times you have to return those things because they were not a good fit. The internet does allow you to meet alot of people you would never meet and I try to learn something from all of them be it good and useful or just plain bad.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 6
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Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 11:26:17 AM
Well, I have to say that I have backed off dating for several weeks now, and mainly participate in the forums. And boy, I have to say that Internet Dating seems to have really hit the all time low for being shallow and negative.

I think negativity comes from people taking this situation way too much to heart and trying to forego actual offline social life. Even on this site, it's not possible to do that if you really want to meet people.

I also think people are way too focused on finding the other half and not focused enough on general social networking...

For those old enough to remember before the Internet, how did we get dates? Friends, family, co-workers.

I never got dates, I never sought dates...I had friends, went out, enjoyed life and sometimes it lead to dates. I've always preferred it that way.

And for those computer savy and old enough, remember Prodigy and AOL?

Yep, mostly AOL.

What did all these things hve in common? You were willing to put the time and effort into getting to know someone instead of brushing them aside.

That's because I was making new friends, I had no direct intention of dating anyone, and I was fascinated more with the computer online experience than the people themselves. Not much has changed - well the computer went from new and exciting to part of the daily routine, but that's about it.

It seems it is impossible to post the perfect profile or perfect pix. With todays USATODAY variety dating, it appears that folks are too willing to judge by the superficial, and rush to judgement.

That'll only bother you if you care what people think, and you put too much into this experience.

Yes, we all would like to meet our perfect match. But what is perfect? We know what we dont like, but are we sure of what we do want?

I am. I want to enjoy life - with or without an SO. If it becomes a "with" - then great. That's something that I can't control. I can only control what I do with my life, and how I react to how life goes. And while meeting someone I gel with would be nice, it's not on my list of things to do.

So many profiles read "If I am interested, I will respond". What ever happened to simple manners and send an email saying "Hi, thanks for the response, but we are not a match".

The internet has made things less personal. That's just the way it is here - people who want personal need to take their search or hunt or whatever it is where it's more personal...

Does anyone else feel the same way? Has the internet diluted the dating pool and chances of meeting a good friend?

Nahh...people have just become impatient, overly expectant, feel entitled and take too much to heart from a bunch of strangers.

And no, I am not talking about the profiles that are looking for friends with benefits, booty calls, or other unrealistic requirements. Just the ones where one honest person is lookingfor another honest person.

There are honest people everywhere. Not all are single, attracted to us or easy to find without having a little patience and learning how to weed thru those who aren't honest. That's not an internet thing, it's been like that ever since I can remember.

I think a lot (not all) of internet daters aren't doing well offline or are trying to skip steps or get around the social interaction thing. Therefore a lot of them tend to be less social, more sensitive, more frustrated and sometimes more desperate to find someone than people who are offline daters (and livers). Maybe they need this to work because they dread having to either give up or sign off and (GASP) talk to someone IRL, so they are more sensitive to what people do here, I dunno.

P.S. Most who come here, put heart and soul into dating and then give up and enjoy the forums have a much better shot at dating here - why? Because they no longer worry about the outcome - and ironically, that's when we get the most response from people (or we care the least if we don't).
 bella4908
Joined: 8/21/2006
Msg: 7
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 11:47:18 AM
The problem isn't dating but the quality of people on sites now. Honestly I refuse to respond to an overweight slob with kids and exwomen in their live who have a pity me I have no balls attitude! I sacrificed and worked hard to be the woman I am today and I expect nothing less than that in a mate. If you hace nothing to offer emotionally you best not contact me!
 dub08
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 8
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Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 11:59:39 AM
A lot of these threads say women get 10-15 mails a day - well I don't!

However that doesn't mean that I am going to date any guy who shows a bit of interest in me. If I can't imagine myself kissing you then I won't date you no matter how much of a 'nice guy' you are and how good you are to your mum or granny.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9
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Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:01:07 PM
Sometimes I just get tired of dating, and that goes for internet dating and real life hook ups as well.

It is nice to find new people to enjoy, and adventures to experience, but overall, hitting the reset button over and over again, does nothing more than to start the game once more, and sometimes I just want to enjoy the fruits of my efforts, and not just the points on the top of the screen.

My days of enjoying the game, over the results have long past, and I prefer to talk as much as kiss, to communicate as much as having sex, and to have compatibility as much as attractiveness.

I need the content of the book as much, if not more, than the looks of the cover, but I am still not ready to accept a worn out paperback, when I know that there are still many excellent hard covers still available, with the same story inside.......

Just my opinion.........
 Talitha001
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 10
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Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:16:51 PM
Geez Tuckers Dad....You're an attractive man!!! You shouldn't be having problems like that!!!! Maybe you need to reexamine YOUR approach to women???? Are you coming across as too intense or needy????? I have met men like that, who come at me too fast and I just run!!!! I like to take my time getting to know someone, not him planning our wedding after ONE date!!! Try a different approach....Make them come to you... I'd come to you if you were close by!!!! LOL...Anyway, don't give up!!! You seem like a sweatheart and that would be a shame...
 Harleygirl269
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 11
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:16:51 PM
Sure am it seems that it is just internet dating!! All talk and no chance of a meeting!!
Lets be honest you can be anyone you want on the internet and I have a feeling that alot of people are doing just that!! because why on earth no meeting!!
 FoRdyOz.
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 12
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:28:02 PM
I know what you mean....I myself reply to anyone who takes the time to write me,even if I'm not interested in dating the person...if they take the time to write me,I'm at least polite enough to take the time to write them back and chat.No harm in chatting.I think some people are so quick to say "No not my type" and delete the message after some really are polite and being sincere.That's just rude to me for someone to just delete the message,when someone took the time to write you.
 Mikey7619
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 13
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:31:37 PM
We are just nameless faceless people on these dating websites. We arent real people. Hence why its the " I owe people who write me nothing attuide"
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 14
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Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:35:49 PM
Hmmmm...I'm more tired of internet "non-dating"
Dating might actually be a fun thing.
 MaybeSquirrel
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 15
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:36:14 PM
Yup, I'm tired of internet dating and those dates from hell....
I'm considered reasonably attractive, and had my share of interest.
But hells bells! How about some normal, SANE men within an hour or so drive?
Of course, living in the boonies doesn't help.

I'm back to the old tried and true methods.

Now the forums.... WAY COOL!!
 monarchmom
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 16
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Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:03:53 PM
I've met a couple of people over the last couple of years on here but I have to say that they were not what they claimed to be. Appearances can be deceiving.
I chat on here with no expectations and once in a blue moon I take a chance on meeting someone but I also do not stop the tried and true method of meeting someone for the first time face to face...out in public!!! omg!!! lol
Winter time I don't get out much though and tend to kill time on here cause quite frankly even male conversation is nice at times whether I meet them or not.
As for the mail thing..wow, I've only been on here a couple of weeks and I guess when a new face signs on they get swamped! There was no way I was going to be able to answer all but I did answer the more polite of them. I am sure I missed some but just coming on a site like this was overwhelming for me. Actually my son made me sign up cause he is tired of seeing me alone and thought I might meet someone on here but to be honest I spend most of my time reading the forum
 dwf44
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 17
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:12:57 PM
A major problem with internet dating is that many people have unrealistic expectations. I'm not suggesting that people should be interested in any one who contacts them. But I wouldn't reject a man simply because he doesn't exactly match a long list of requirements, he has mediocre photos, or because there wasn't instant fireworks within a few minutes of a first date / meeting. Sometimes a person who is somewhat different than your usual type can be a good match for you. Some people simply aren't photogenic and could look better in person.
 iTsMeJuLi
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 18
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:54:53 PM

A lot of these threads say women get 10-15 mails a day


I'd sure like to know where this rumor came from, I certainly don't get that many emails in a month.

I pin no unrealistic hopes on POF or other dating sites for meeting men. These sites are simply a tool for meeting people you might otherwise not have met. Its been my experience that the vast majority of men who have contacted me over the years are not serious about dating.

I don't search profiles nor do I send out contact emails, I stick to the forums.

As for the comment that dating sites aren't what they used to be, I've been on various sites for the last 8 years and see no difference in any of them. To me nothing has changed in the quality of people on them.

Keep your feet planted in reality, get out and meet people in real life and use sites like POF only as a tool.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 19
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 3:06:21 PM

Women get 10-50 emails a day


Some do, and some don't. I don't get any responses, and I'm probably not alone in that. I think guys take one look at 4'9" and skip ahead to the next gal. Honesty, loyalty, integrity, intelligence, sense of humour, lovingness, etc. initially take second place to the visuals, unfortunately, and I for one am not likely to grow any taller at age 59.

But may I suggest looking at it a different way. The non-responders (regardless of why they don't reply), are helping you avoid those who are not potential keepers. After all, you only seek one -- the right one. Like the lyric from a 60's (I think it was) song goes, "It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along." This process may be frustrating, but if you eventually end up with your true life mate, it will have been time well invested, right?
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 20
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 3:09:31 PM
I am also mostly here for the forums.

However in saying that I have met and chatted with some very nice people but in the end they just delete their profiles and disappear. That makes me feel like they have wasted my time.

I am currently chatting with someone that feels like Mr Right but only time will tell.
 HowieFeltersnatch007
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 21
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 3:53:46 PM
Coming from the internet age dating has changed alot, but it has taken a turn for the worse. I don't reply to people or try to engage in a email or IM conversation with someone for the simple reason of the harsh or negative responses you will or may get.
Also the crazy people you may find too, it's happened once or twice, but for those that don't want to talk or are just not interested just don't reply or be nice and say no thanks.
 SUPERNICEGUY51
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 22
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:00:34 PM
I have met a couple on here also over the last couple of years but i find the internet dating is not the same as it use to be.i would love to just meet someone face to face and hope it works out so i can get off of here.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 23
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:09:25 PM

Just the ones where one honest person is lookingfor another honest person.
I am one of those people... I know what I'm after and have them listed on my profile. As far as internet dating, I'm not a huge fan of online dating and still skeptical about it but I would like to keep an open mind about it.
 david46
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 24
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:40:50 PM
Ive never met anyone off a site so id have to say no
 PrincessForOne
Joined: 5/25/2007
Msg: 25
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 4/28/2009 5:05:03 PM
No reply means someone isn't interested. I think we should all be able to accept that without taking it personally. I too though am tired with the internet. The values of society are in the toilet. Dating isn't what it used to be. You either put in the time to wade through the bad to get to the good, or go home...simple as that. I'm putting in the time.
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