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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:07:05 AM | It happened again, last night! ugh Through information a man had written in an email message to me, his age on his profile did not match up with his "story." When I asked him if he was being dishonest on his profile regarding his age, he flipped! He ranted that he didn't owe me or anyone on this dating site anything and he had every right to put whatever age he chose....every one on here is lying.....blah blah blah.
I am encountering this here and another dating site that I am on. When these men are "caught" regarding their real age, I haven't encountered a single one who thinks it's misleading or dishonest. I'm baffled by that and turned off to say they least! My first thought is "If he is lying about something like this, what else is he lying about?"
I understand that most people who are lying about their age or lying to appear younger, therefore, hoping to attract a younger person. I think it is so wrong! If I say on my profile that I am interested in dating men, 37 to 52 years old, then that's what I mean. I might consider a man out of my preferred age bracket, but not if he manipulates the situation by lying. It is such a turn off when some one isn't comfortable with their own age. It is also an even greater turn off that these men who I have encountered in this situation do not "man up". They get angry and defensive about why they HAD to lie.
These are probably the same people who would be disappointed or angry if I lied about my body type.....
Some things are arbitrary; age is not one of them.
Thoughts? | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:13:31 AM | I've encountered this myself. Folks can be whoever they want on the internet. If they lie about something as simple as their age or weight it makes you wonder what else you might have to filter through the smoke screen.
He ranted that he didn't owe me or anyone on this dating site anything and he had every right to put whatever age he chose....every one on here is lying.....blah blah blah.
Run sister....RUN! 
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:15:51 AM | I could not agree more, without being you! LOL
Seriously...for me, it is not so much the "if he/she lies about this...what else will they lie about" aspect, though that does have bearing for me, too. It is the sense of ENTITLEMENT that all those who do this, seem to carry.
I have heard every excuse in the book...from not looking their age, to forcing themselves on a younger search spectrum. The latter is no different than...say...changing your location to try and get the attention of someone who lives in another state, in spite of their stating they do not do long distance. Quit forcing yourselves upon those who have preferences outside of...YOU. Sheesh.
Aside from all of that....it reeks EGO. The egos are so high that they assume their victims won't mind...cause they "are all that and a bag of chips, too?!" (Usually NOT the case!) | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 6:08:11 AM | You say you might consider a man outside your preferred age bracket - but many people wouldn't have the opportunity because their contact preferences are very rigidly set so they never get contacted by anyone just ouside their prefered range. People tend to search in broad age groups such as 30-40. Why is someone of 40 years and 11 months acceptable whereas someone of 41 years and 1 day isn't? So I can understand why someone who is, for example, 41 might knock a year off their age to get picked up in a search. If it's a year it may not matter too much. But even so they should fess up either in their profile or very early on in e-mailing. But, while I can understand it, I don't really approve of people lying about their age.
It isn't always an advantage either. I know one couple who met on an internet site. They had both lied about their age. He nearly didn't contact her because he thought she was too young! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 6:14:31 AM | Oh yeah. I had a meet with a fellow from another site. His profile read 5' 11," he wore a cowboy hat, 47, and 'successful."
He drove up in a beat up black 2-door sedan, shorter than ME, bald, and clearly in his 70's!!!
NO LIE, this REALLY HAPPENED!
Wait until you are chatting via IM and "he's" clearly not a man, can't construct a sentence properly, doesn't catch 'cliches,' and evasive/ambiguous.
GRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Annie | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 6:26:47 AM | Amen, sister! I don't mean for this to man bashing, because I'm sure there are just as many women lying on their profile regarding their "facts."
That's what blows me aways, every. single.time. It's their toddler fit because I disagree with their entitlement to change their age, because they feel so much younger, or a woman 15 yrs younger won't search for them, but if she only met me crap, and all of their other "reationalizations" for rewriting history.
Never has it been the case that I was fooled by their ages. I truly sat across from a man wondering if I looked as old as he does, since I was told we were the same age. I was so relieved when he was outed and was really 7 years older. It explained the aged look. He looked good for his age, but not for his adjusted age. I was so turned off by his self importance. He honestly could not understand why I wouldn't go out with him again. I had to explain it a gazillion times and then finally agree to disagree. Buh bye! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 6:31:22 AM | I do search outside of my bracket, ocassionally. It's simple to do set a search parpameter that way. But, my point is, let me decide what I typically find attractive. I equate it to a smoker. I can't be around smoke for health reasons. So, if a person lies and says they don't smoke, but really, they have a couple of cigarettes with a drink on date night. I would have wanted to know the truth. Then let me decide.
I agree that 41 is similar to 40, but again, let me decide. Just like I am a size 6. I won't pretend to be a svelte size 1. I think I am a healthy attractive size "for my age, lol" but I can't decide for a man, what body size he finds attractive.
Just sayin'.... | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 6:33:07 AM | Funny you brought this up now! I had a date Monday with a lady, beautiful pictures, stated age at 56. WOW, in my opinion those pictures were 5-8 years old, she was still beautiful...but. Well she talked about dating some guy and slipped telling him her age.
She said "all women lie about their age!". Now I'm just guessing here, but I'd actually put her age mid 60s. Don't think I'll date her again.
Not the first time this has happended to me, but I think, well, if you'll put up old pictures and lie about your age, what else will you lie about? Actually I'm surprised to hear guy lie about their age...just plain stupid! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 7:31:13 AM | Hi All!
I dont' lie about my age, there is no point or reason.
I am 54 and proud of it!
Anyway, I feel young at heart and therefore don't think I look my age. LOL!! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 8:20:11 AM |
, but I think, well, if you'll put up old pictures and lie about your age, what else will you lie about
If someone lies to their children about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, or Santa, does that make people wonder what else they would lie about?
Unless someone is pretending to be a lot older or a lot younger, what difference does a few years actually make?
Perhaps so many people lie about their age because they don't want too reveal too much information to anyone with access to the internet.
I see many complaints in the forums about those who lie about their age, but the odd thing is I have never seen anyone complain about all the profiles that have obviously fake or ambiguous locations.
My profile is a great example of an outright lie. I deliberately lied about my profession, as so many others do. Does it mean I'm a compulsive liar? Nope, I'm basically a very honest person, but when I had my real profession posted, I got dozens of unwanted emails.
My advice again is what my advice has been so many times: If something, i.e. absolute truth on a profile, is important to you, put it on your own profile. That way, a person who knows they are lying can either tell you right up front, or won't waste their or your time. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 8:25:12 AM | "...Perhaps so many people lie about their age because they don't want too reveal too much information to anyone with access to the internet."
Good point
Annie | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 8:41:47 AM | | What I find humorous about this is that he got caught. However, this used to happen when we met people in real life without the internet too. I remember being a young man in my early 20's and meeting a girl at the mall and after asking her age and being told she was 18, finding out later she was actually 16 and then later that she might have actually been 15. Fortunately we never got past a first date. My point is that lying isn't exclusive to the internet, nor was it created by the internet. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 8:58:14 AM | | Excuse me pazoozoo, your analogy with children and santa doesn't hold water versus dating or looking for a LTR. You seem to think it's OK to tell a little (in your mind) lie about your profession, where the hell do we draw the line? We're not little kids here! Should I say I don't smoke, when I actually do? I know I'd have alot more dates! According to you that'd be OK. Doesn't work for me! Yep, lets all start our relationships on a little deception and see how far we get. That'll certainly plant the seed of trust! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 9:04:08 AM | Pulling of the holiday traditions of Santa or the Easter Bunny, with your children is NOT the same thing as LYING about age, on an internet dating site. Apples to apples, please.
And I really do not think keeping your real age secret is a big security issue. What do you think you can find out about ME, knowing I am REALLY 42? I mean, if you get close enough to me to know other info about me to breach any security...you are going to have discovered my "real age" if I were lying, too.
It is simply a LIE which that sort consider "a white lie" in order to widen their prospects. They get defensive when someone gets pissed about it...cause of their own egos.
The ones who I know who do this....they look GREAT for their real ages. But they only look so-so or even "meh" for their poser ages. LOL I would choose the former. Hmmm....maybe I should say I am 52 and then I would look REALLY GREAT "for my age?" Nah...I am not a liar. LOL | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 9:23:24 AM |
. You seem to think it's OK to tell a little (in your mind) lie about your profession, where the hell do we draw the line?
My point was that everyone tells lies about something to someone, and everyone (as you have exhibited) has their degree of acceptability of lies. For you, lying to a child about a fantasy is fine, but for some, it would be the kiss of death. I have never seen anyone complain that a person has written "Outback, Alaska" or "Somewhere, Idaho" as their location, but at least once a week, someone complains about lying about age, old pictures, or body type. So, those people who don't mind a bit if someone claims they love camping, only to find out the person hasn't been camping since they were twelve years old is fine, but to find out a person is 36 when they claimed to be 32 is reprehensible, or that they are overweight when they claimed to be average is out-of-bounds.
As far as my little lie about my profession, if there is actually an interest instead of just idle curiousity, I am happy to discuss how I earn my living, exactly as I wrote in my post. I am not going to post for the world to see, which would also give an insight to my financial situation, what my profession is.
So where do we draw the line? My suggestion was to draw the line in our own profiles. If lying on a profile bothers a person, then put make it clear in their own profile that they demand complete and total honesty.
According to you that'd be OK. Doesn't work for me!
Nope, according to me, everyone has to be true to themselves and decide what they can accept and what is a deal breaker. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 9:28:35 AM | You seem to think it's OK to tell a little (in your mind) lie about your profession, where the hell do we draw the line?
Forgive me FORUMS for I have sinned.  I'm really not a "pet detective like Ace Ventura" as my profile states. I merely play one on TV and it makes my profile much more exciting.
"I'll give you a call sometime is your number still 911? Allllllllllrighty then."
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 9:37:36 AM | Once again, you seem to think it's OK to be deceptive or tell a lie to draw someone into dating or a relationship, I don't. It's your credibilty that's at stake, not mine.
And you might as well drop the child analogy, we're not comparing apples to oranges.
While you're at it look up the actual history of Santa Clause, you might learn something. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:11:50 AM | There was a contest in the Washington Post for Mensa people where they took a word and added, subtracted or changed 1 letter and then made up a meaning for the new word. One of them was: FORPLOY- any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting LUCKY.
Age isn't the only thing that people lie about. A girl friend told me about the 5'11" guy that showed up and she at 5"9" was looking down at him and she was wearing flats. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:24:25 AM | A few weeks ago, I received an email from a very handsome man. We struck up a decent conversation, but something wasn't sitting right with it. That weekend, as I was flipping through the sports channels, I saw a Titleist commercial where one of the guys looked remarkably like this guy who I had been chatting with.
I shot him an email saying he looked like this Titleist guy and asked him if he was a pro golfer...He said he wasn't. So, I let it go, but the skepticism was still there, so I Googled PGA golfers and found this guy's main profile pic under the bio and promo photos for Australian golfer, Adam Scott.
I sent him another email asking him who he really is (before reporting him to Admin), but he never responded....and POOF! his profile is gone! LOL
There are lots of liars and people misrepresenting themselves on here. I guess, the only thing we can do is be cautious and trust our instincts. (That dummy didn't bank on me spending my free time watching sports!!) | |
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Landra
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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 21 | |
| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:32:36 AM | I really don't feel it's that big of a deal. The USA is insanely obsessed with youth. Everyone is meant to be young, look young, feel young, etc. etc. etc. I can't blame people for wanting to shave a few years off their age-- it's the twisted culture here where aging is viewed as either a catastrophe or a disease.
I try to be a little more sympathetic and understanding than you are.
And I certainly don't buy into the "If he is lying about something like this, what else..."
If you feel entitled to call people liars and or ask if they're being dishonest about their age, then don't be surprised by their reactions. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:37:27 AM | | Well the fact that the site allows members to exclude others from contact by age encourages it. I would prefer if the site did not have that option. It's arbitrary and frustrates those outside the specified range, even if by one day. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:47:48 AM | I think the old saying "You are as old as you feel" is really true.
What person wants to deliberately mislead a person they're contemplating having a future relationship with about anything????
I guess if someone is looking for a FWB, Intimate Encounter or just sex, I can more understand this, but isn't it like a sign of disregard and callousness for the other person.
Sort of like saying, "Look, I know what you want. I've seen your preferences, but I'm smarter and more clever than you and I can fool you into thinking that I'm this age, or this height or this size no matter what you want. And I can waste your time getting to know me and even setting up a date. If it works, great for ME and if it doesn't, screw you!"
I just think it's the height of selfishness -- no pun intended! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:50:34 AM | Well OP.........Let me first applaud you for at least having your age range of eight years younger and 12 older, which is more times than not unusual. Many seem to put down 12 or more years younger, and maybe two to four years older, if that........
The point here is that maybe age is one of the most irrelevant things that can be on a profile unless one is under 21 or currently on social security and seeking someone to have a baby with.......
I have found, and continue to find, that how one looks will far outweigh what ones age is, and that to be so small minded as to think that someone 49 is that much younger and better looking because of their age, to someone 50 is about as bad as thin, athletic, average and fat.
I have yet to meet one person from this site, or even in public, that has not embellished something about themselves or their personal, professional, and family life, so I am not quite sure how to deal with age at all.
It seems very impolite to ask a woman her age, or anyone's for that matter, just as it is to meet and ask someone their weight or yearly income. Yet we have general categories for fitness, and education, along with vocations, but a very specific number for age, which astounds me to no end.
I am happy to let the total of me be the deciding factor about whether to know me better or not, and not my specific age, income, or ability to take care of you in multiple ways.
Since the range of ages of those I have known very well relationship wise, has been 20+ years in both directions, I see little reason to ever make age the main or only qualifier when it comes to dating and knowing others.
Just my opinion.........   | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 11:16:54 AM | Personally I hate when people lie to me about their age and I equally hate it when they lie about their height. Do they think you won't notice upon meeting???? LMAO
All it does is turn a person off. I met a guy on the net that I thought was great. We talked a long time before meeting and he described himself as 5'9 , 170lbs..he described himself as a cat lover and that he was into old war uniforms ect..
He showed up and was under my height of 5'7" and I had made it clear to him that I did not want a man smaller than me. He also weighed much less than he said..making him..yup! smaller than me!!!
His love of pets was an obsession more than anything and as cool as his hobby of buying old uniforms could have been wearing them in public is NOT cool but weird.
People lie about all different things and I think it sucks...I don't want to waste my time with that. I made myself more than clear on this prior to meeting so what makes him think I would magically change myself to suit his lies??? | |
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