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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 3:22:00 AM | this purely my observation/s, i did not do any research to back my statements, other than looking to see if this has been posted before and obviously i didnt find that to be the case.
I know that personalities are influenced by a number of things: genes, life experiences, environmental factors, age, gender, etc etc... however, i have noticed a pattern that makes me wonder if our (and particularly women's) personality is significantly influenced by their own looks/physical attributes (or their perception of such)....
here is my point. I know that my interests and my job and not particularly popular among the female population and especially in this state (Wa., which is extremely liberal for those of you that dont know), nevertheless, i have found some (not many) women who have similar interests, namely: hunting, guns, dirt bikes, camping, playing sports and the like....i know the reason i like these is that my personality is such that said activities are appealing.... i tend to gravitate to physical activities that require some form of significant exertion....
what i havent been able to figure out is why it is that the women that seem to be into these type of activities are all (but one so far in 20 plus years of experience) the unattractive (to me) types....
what i've come across a lot are women, who albeit, being unattractive to me, are just cool as hell and i find myself thinking "why couldnt she be thin and good looking?" they are outgoing, up for just about anything, spontaneous and just plain fun to be around. i've made friends with several of them, but i just wonder, why is it that the "attractive" women simply arent so much fun to be around? do unattractive women "make up" with personality what they lack in looks? do good looking women think that their looks are enough? or that men will put up with their "boring" personality due to her looks?
im not bashing, and im sure us men do it too to some extent, but obviously im not here evaluating why guys act the way they do since im not really all that interested in them!!!! lol... i do truly wonder if this is just me, or if other guys have noticed the same and if women consciously "adjust" their personality based on their looks..... | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 4:01:45 AM | So.. .you want a woman who enjoys hunting but looks sexually appealing to you while killing an animal??? Fine if the scope doesn't smear their mascara down to their chin or if the kick of a big bore rifle doesn't knock that tiny, precious thing on her ass a few times but I dunno... I don't think you are going to have a lot of success in finding a woman overloaded on both estrogen and testosterone. There's just something about gutting an animal that doesn't sync up with a nice manicure...
what i've come across a lot are women, who albeit, being unattractive to me, are just cool as hell and i find myself thinking "why couldnt she be thin and good looking?"
Are you thin and good looking OP? Your profile lists "a few extra pounds". Why would you expect in a partner what you are not offering? Is it enough that you are "cool as hell" because you're "fun to be around" but not enough for the gals you meet?
why is it that the "attractive" women simply arent so much fun to be around?
I know quite a number of attractive ladies who are a blast to be around. Granted, they may not be into killing things and their definition of "fun" may not include ripping around the hills on a quad but they still have awesome and interesting personalities.
I think that what you're actually seeing is the outcome of women being shunted off to the side when Dad is taking the boys in the family off to go hunting, shooting, fishing or simply to play rough. It's hard to cultivate an interest when you're not invited to get into it.
Had my own father not taken me onto a target-shooting range, I would not have an interest in going shooting but even then, I have no desire to kill an animal. Why not compromise and hang out at the target ranges? Women create life... We're not particularly good at taking life. I don't think you're going to like it if that changes.
Overall, I think you might be surprised at some of the interesting personalities hanging out under those attractive faces but if you want someone to share your male-oriented interests, you will have to settle for someone who has that extra dose of testosterone running through her blood. It shouldn't be a big deal if you don't mind a bit of a moustache on your women. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 4:15:51 AM | "Good looking"/"attractive" according to modern standards requires a lot of work when you get past the age of about 17. The women with more interesting stuff to do probably don't want to spend their time faffing about. The women who invest serious amounts of time in their appearance have different priorities in life to those who avidly pursue dirt biking, hunting, camping and sports. What you think is natural good looks takes a lot of achieving -- most men can't tell if a woman is wearing make-up unless it's very badly done and they assume that the calculated casual/tousled look on the attractive-in-their-eyes is genuine and that the supermodel has put in no more effort/investment to her looks than the ordinary woman who actually did just tumble out of bed shove some clothes on and go out to pursue her favourite sport...
The looks you're responding to are a result of huge effort: time and money. Without the effort, they'd look quite ordinary too. The motivation to make the effort is a factor in the personality, certainly. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 4:30:03 AM | | It's the same reason why little girls generally prefer dolls but little boys prefer playing with trucks. Sure, you get the exceptions but generally big girls who play with trucks don't wear pretty dresses in case they get them soiled and ruin their hair and make-up. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 4:44:17 AM | Let me think: I am a mastermarksman, ballroom dancer, ice skater, fisherwoman who loves opera and classical music, rock music, country dancing, gourmet cook, also a hiker/backpacker and probably some other things I can't bring to mind this early in the morning.
I guess somedays I am pretty with a rotten personality and other days I am unattractive with a winning personality. Why can't I find a man during transition? | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:10:26 AM | silken.... im actually not looking for anyone at this point....im seeing someone and just here for the forums. as far as my few extra pounds, they are a result of an ankle injury and subsequent 2 months of no weight bearing and 2 others on a cast... 15 of those pounds are already gone and the rest should be gone as well by mid summer hopefully....
that being said, this thread is not about dating or finding someone (right now)... its just about what i've noticed.... again, i realize that killing animals may not be all that appealing and do not expect women to be into it.... however, i dont think that target shooting, camping, riding dirt bikes and playing sports has much to do with testosterone.... to be honest, im not attracted to women who wear lots of make-up, spend hours doing their hair or who get manicures on a regular basis.... i like thin, naturally beautiful women.... if she doesnt look good when she wakes in the morning with nothing more than one of my t-shirts on, then she is artificially attractive which to me is a turn off....
but im getting off subject.... i mentioned my interests because, well... they are my interests, but the point still remains, that by large most women i've met who were unattractive, had much more appealing personalities overall than those who were attractive.... for example, i went to a friend's b-day party a couple of weeks back.... there were several unattractive (again my standards) women and 3 very attractive ones, now i wasnt hitting on any of them, just being social and goofy as always.... funny thing is that the attractive ones socialized within their group of 5 or 6 until myself and a couple of my friends started talking and laughing with some of the unattractive ladies in the living room, then the first group moved over and started chiming in, but still the 3 attractive ladies remained standoffish.... while all the others were just having a good time....
i've seen that time and time again... i know there are fun and interesting people of all shapes out there, but there just seem to be a pattern that my friends and i have noticed and the only common denominator is appearance..... | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:14:45 AM | I think this is a pretty interesting question. In the end, though, it probably raises more questions about the questioner than it does about women.
If you think about it, S-N-D, I'll bet you've come across a lot of women you'd consider unattractive who were still primarily interested in "girly" things. It is the nature of women, whether it's a matter of nature or conditioning. Likewise, I'm sure there are at least a few women who would be considered "gorgeous" who like hunting and roughing it. In fact, I work with one - a woman who gets all dolled up for work but boasts of having gone hunting rhinos while on safari. Normally, she looks like a cast member from "Dynasty" or something. But she likes to shoot things. Looks aside, I don't know if I would consider her attractive in the sense that I would want to date her. She may be a monster.
That's the rub: You may find a woman who is "attractive" and enjoys the things you do...and find that you don't get along in the slightest way. Would you keep her just because she can pick a squirrel out of a tree?
I don't think that by "attractive" you mean you want a woman of supermodel quality. You want someone you enjoy looking at and desire sexually. That's understandable. But it's difficult to find someone who shares in all your interests, whatever they are. Maybe it's enough to find someone who is supportive of you, even if she won't join you. Of course, the same consideration would be expected of you when she goes to her scrapbooking parties.
It comes down to what qualities in a mate are more important to you. If you want a woman who is your buddy, you may not find the looks you want. If you want a woman who is more girly, she probably won't want to go out and shoot a deer with you. But she'll still sit down and eat it with you. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:33:24 AM | and that is exactly it unrinemyway.... in a perfect world i'd meet Angelina Jolie while out riding quads in the mountains with a .300 WinMag slung across the back.... but that's not reality....
the woman im seeing right now, is, so far very cool, attractive and can break a nail without having a nervous breakdown and she gets dirty for work on a regular basis.... so far so good... so far so good, and yes i look forward to part taking in her activities as well.... it does go both ways.... funny thing is i didnt meet her online....
the question still remains though... does looks have a significant impact on a woman's personality? does she feel she needs to be more assertive with men (approach rather than waiting to be hit on) if she is less attractive? is she less/more likely to get upset if her man looks at another woman? is she more/less prone to get jealous? is she more tolerant of her man's interests?
my ex was attractive and thin, yet turned out to be controlling, nagging, intolerant of everything and all she ever wanted to do on weekends was to either sit around in front of the tv (w/out conversation) or go to whatever event SHE wanted to go to... yet her very unattractive sister was the opposite... raised by the same parents, same environment, same genes, etc etc... only difference was their looks. what gives? | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:43:13 AM | Hmmm
I'm gonna go with urinemyway on this and think that the quesiton is more a reflection on you than the women.
You've never really define what "unattractive" means OP so I'm going to take an educated guess. For you, fat is the word that's missing. I'm not picking on your choices--just clarifying what you're saying. Beating around the bush isn't working.
I guess OP, what I'm wondering is what if you did find that thin attractive woman who didn't hunt or shoot but would allow you to enjoy yourself with your unattractive friends or guy friends? You're right--your activities don't lend themselves to many women--thin, fat, attractive, unattractive...whatever. Wouldn't you be better off trying to find an attractive woman who'll allow you to enjoy those activities and be at home when you're done? I don't understand WHY that person has to go shoot, hunt or whatever it is you just have to do. I also wonder if you're open to doing things that she'd like to do--a good relationship isn't just all about you. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:45:15 AM | Well thank you for responding to my thoughts OP...
You'll have to excuse that I made the error of thinking you were looking for someone at this point in time. I generally draw that conclusion if I don't see the profile marked in some way to indicate that a person is currently involved with someone... If you are just here for the forums, you might want to consider adding that in some noticeable way to your profile OP. Some people might think that is a little bit misleading.
as far as my few extra pounds, they are a result of an ankle injury and subsequent 2 months of no weight bearing and 2 others on a cast... 15 of those pounds are already gone and the rest should be gone as well by mid summer hopefully....
It's great that your extra weight is only the result of an ankle injury but in truth, it's probably more of a result of your not adjusting your caloric intake to suit your less active lifestyle... right? You might want to think that perhaps those people you meet who are less than "thin" may also be experiencing adjustment problems to some circumstance they've suddenly had to deal with in their lives.
Your mention of an ankle injury also brings up an excellent point. I don't know how you injured your ankle (and I'm sorry you did) but if it was some kind of recreational injury, your understanding might also increase as to why some women don't do the extreme kind of sports. If I was to suddenly break an arm and be unable to work, I would suddenly be forced to go on disability in my employment. That is one of the reasons a lot of women don't do risky types of sports... People are relying on their wages and an interruption would not be good.
i like thin, naturally beautiful women.... if she doesnt look good when she wakes in the morning with nothing more than one of my t-shirts on, then she is artificially attractive which to me is a turn off....
You are entitled to your preferences OP... Most of us love what is "naturally beautiful" but having said that, a gal can get downright confused about how many men whine and moan about girlfriends or wives who "never get fixed up for me anymore".
I personally love a guy who has maintained the "natural" things about himself like a nice head of hair and someone who has treated his body with respect. Of course, having had a husband who was forever mangling himself on one machine or another, I have personal experience with the guy who is forever sporting a cast, tensor bandages or some other kind of medical paraphenalia while I tried to keep the family's head above water financially. I don't think guys like that are as much "fun" as one might think!
Overall, OP, I think you are trying to pigeon-hole attractive vs. non-attractive women into being "fun" or "no fun". For all we know, those 3 attractive women who stood back at the party might have been equally amazed to have found themselves at a party full of dweebs. Who is to say what they were thinking? | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:47:23 AM | Well said urine!
I don't think that by "attractive" you mean you want a woman of supermodel quality. You want someone you enjoy looking at and desire sexually. That's understandable. But it's difficult to find someone who shares in all your interests, whatever they are. Maybe it's enough to find someone who is supportive of you, even if she won't join you. Of course, the same consideration would be expected of you when she goes to her scrapbooking parties.
It comes down to what qualities in a mate are more important to you. If you want a woman who is your buddy, you may not find the looks you want. If you want a woman who is more girly, she probably won't want to go out and shoot a deer with you. But she'll still sit down and eat it with you.
There are bah-zillions of individuals out there looking for someone to be their everything. They want motivation and focus along with a flexible schedule. They want an animal wrapped in decency, morals, and manners. Everyone wants a tool to suit their needs that vary from moment to moment.
The problem with taking these wants or any other desires to far is that is based on a presumption of having everything someone else wants... they are the perfect tool themselves and therefore deserve someone who serves all their needs.
Impossible!
Perhaps a leveraged deal should be the end goal? | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:54:04 AM | I would guess that a lot of women your age due to having their kids 5-7 days a week don't have the free time or disposable income necessary to justify owning 4 wheelers, motorcycles, scuba diving equptment, or spend a weekend in the woods hunting.
For me, my Dad was busy doing outdoorsy things like camping, fishing and hunting with my brother in Boy Scouts and my sister and I were selling cookies and learning how to sew in Girl Scouts. Pretty tame and boring stuff for us gals. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:56:07 AM |
That's the rub: You may find a woman who is "attractive" and enjoys the things you do...and find that you don't get along in the slightest way. Would you keep her just because she can pick a squirrel out of a tree?
I'm not unattractive and although I could shoot a squirrel out of the tree, I'd probably end up giving it CPR until the ambulance arrived...
...and that is exactly it unrinemyway.... in a perfect world i'd meet Angelina Jolie while out riding quads in the mountains with a .300 WinMag slung across the back.... but that's not reality....
No, 'cuz she'd be looking for Brad Pitt not Elmer Fudd trying to shoot da wabbit...
Saying unattractive women have better personalities than attractive women is like me saying stupid people are happy people - which was a theory I held until I met stupid, unhappy people. You need a larger pool of women to generalize. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:57:11 AM | | OP....i do have to say that i do agree with ya. Ive noticed that myself. I can be honest and include myself into the 'not so attractive but cool as hell' group, hence the ol 'you're a great chick to hang with but not gf material'. lolol Been told that sooo many times! I have gf's who arent exactly the model types who love to hunt, trap shoot, snowmobile, ice-fish/fish, dirt bike riding, bah-hah, muddin. More down-to-earth, fun, and 'real' than the prissy types. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:03:40 AM | ^^^^^ i agree Silken that there is a risk of injury and that responsibilities do take precendence over most everything else, however, im of the thought that life would certainly not be much fun if i stayed away from everything that could injure me... and certainly wouldnt be doing the job i do, but that being said, trying to be safe from injury is kind of a double edge sword, cause the reality is you could be hurt in a car accident just a likely (and some would argue that it'd be more so) as riding a quad.... fortunately i have a cool job with cool benefits that keeps me employed even if im injured.....
as for caloric intake, you are 100% right, i couldnt really stand up so ordering a pizza was certainly easier than cooking one....
again i do understand concerns for safety and truly im starting to regret to a degree mentioning my interests... i should have kept it to just what i've noticed to see if others had noticed it as well .... sort of my way of confirming or discarding my theory.... i really dont want to turn this into a "what's attractive and appealing" or "who is fun or boring" thread, those have been done to death... i appreciate your input, you make some very valid points..... thx | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:06:56 AM | Perhaps this explains the wild appeal of Sarah Palin??? I also was taken hunting when I was a child by my father. It was a short-lived interest, as I also grew to dislike killing animals.
Urinemyway's point resonates with me. While I was more a tomboy growing up compared to a girly girl, this changed in adolescence. There are different spheres of interests for each group with some cross-over.
One other point, hunting ATVing, etc., are activities that associated in most part with a rural lifestyle. When I was a kid, we lived in a town on the prairies of 1,500. Most of the folks in that town did the same sorts of activities that you mention, because they had great access to it. In all of the rural places that I've lived subsequent to that period, those still the popular interests of many of the folks no matter which rural community I lived in. Most people today live in cities...
I've spent most of my life in cities, and these types of activities don't tend to be the activities of choice of people living in these places for practical reasons, and also because there are many other activities out there to capture interest.
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:22:49 AM | I think you brought up an interesting topic.
Personally, I think a woman's appearance is a direct indication of how she thinks, what she values, and where she chooses to be in any particular time in her life.
I have NO patience or sympathy for a woman who allows our society, norms, mores, issues, magazines, media of any kind, opinion, political correctness or any other means to dictate who and what she will be or how she will appear.
1) The fashion industry is enundated with persons who have no business dictating what the "fashionable" woman will wear season to season. For the most part they are socially dysfunctional, delusional misfits.
2) A woman who appears dowdy and plain probably is dowdy and plain in her thinking and in her personal life. It has been my observation that the most dowdy are content to work as a piker for a gold watch after 20 yrs. of service and who, at the end of life have about as much passion as a dish rag, only to find themselves at the end of their journey appearing to be a sexually blended thing instead of a vibrant, sexy, passionate female with life oozing from every pore.
3) Then there are the plastic females who are so fearful of losing the Elle image of what a woman should be like that they buy every wrinkle cream that comes out, undergo the knife or botox, allow plastic into their bodies and into their minds....think showing a leg or a plastic tit is the sum total of femininity or a huge arse, ie Kardashian/JLowe...
4) Cigarette huffing females who speak with raspy voices and think sexy is showering in perfume to cover up the smell eminating from every pore like an escapee of Hell....holding their acrylic nailed fingers out the car window in the smoker's salute....thinking they are worldly and sexy....
So, yes, a woman's outward appearance IS a reflection of the person inside. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:38:53 AM | what i've come across a lot are women, who albeit, being unattractive to me, are just cool as hell and i find myself thinking "why couldnt she be thin and good looking?
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Alot of men will find themselves alone sinply because they over looked an orchid while searching for a rose.
Happy hunting my friend. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:20:12 AM | I'd have to say it is. I mean even thinking of myself, when I'm walking around in jeans and a t-shirt, I feel like an average guy... a damn good average guy, just not particularly the centre of attention at all times. But when I wear a suit? You better believe I get the impression that everybody's looking at me. I'm typically confident enough as it is, but a suit makes me feel like I could have almost anybody I choose eating out of the palm of my hand.
I do realize that what I've stated is more of an extension of your observations, but I think you'll understand the context. How we look affects how we feel about ourselves, and the same holds true the other way as well. And I think what you're directly talking about has to do with upbringing. Most of the girls I knew who grew up tomboyish developed more masculine physical features as well. Why? They spent their time doing heavy lifting and other things more feminine girls didn't do. They had more muscle mass in their upper bodies which doesn't lend to helping them develop a more feminine physique. Basically their bodies adapted to the physical requirements they put on themselves. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:32:21 AM | [Op,you sound awfully hung up on looks..........
If you're looking for Lara Croft........she's already been snapped up.......
You're average..........go for average......]
well strawbs09... again.. this is not a thread of what im looking for... but to answer your comment, yes im am hung up on looks.... if im not attracted to someone physically AND intellecutally there is not going to be a romantic relationship... end of story.
as for me being average,... well you are entitled to your opinion, but if you asked me, i'd tell you that im exceptional and definitely unique.... i would hope you (and everyone) would think of yourself the same way.... so no im not looking for average, im looking for someone just as exceptional and unique and who is physically AND intellectually compatible with my uniqueness.... so far things are good
but again we are getting off subject.... i wish i could edit the original post and just take out the interests part and simply stuck with the original questions..... oh well... i suppose i'll just see where this ends up..... | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:41:29 AM | OP, I think you are on to something here. I have friends that are the girly types, not a hair out of place, wouldn't dream of going to the mailbox without makeup, etc......and I have friends who never wear makeup, dress for comfort, etc.
In my extremely limited observation, it seems that the really pretty ones have been treated "special" for so long that they have come to expect a certain amount of extra special attention. They don't do it on purpose, it's just what they are used to getting.
Your example of the girls at that party: the pretty ones kept to themselves because they are used to men taking the lead if they are interested and initiating conversation. They have learned that they don't have to do much but look pretty to get the attention if they want it.
The "unattractive" ones have never relied on their looks as a social skill, so they just put themselves out there and enjoy the company and conversation without having to overthink things. Because they haven't put tons of thought into their appearance and how they present themselves to others, their focus is on having a good time, not "who's going to think my outfit is cute?".
Personally, I have a great time hanging out with both types of friends, all of them have great qualities that they bring to the table. It's just a matter of finding one that matches what you're looking for.....there are girls out there that like to look pretty and play in the mud too. | |
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