| Thanks in advance for the profile review
Posted: 5/3/2009 6:51:59 PM | Ok, I completely reworked my profile from scratch. Let me know what you think.
I'm pretty happy with it, but I'm always looking to do better. The tips at the forum were a great help, and I tried to incorporate as much of them as possible. | |
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| Thanks in advance for the profile review
Posted: 5/3/2009 7:11:03 PM | | Friend, your second paragraph just blew me away! And I remained in awe to the end of your profile. It sounds like you had a life-altering experience, for the better! Kudos to you for all of your accomplishments. The rest of us can only aspire to reach the goals you have in such a short time. Your profile was a pleasure to read. I personally don't see any problems with it, but that's just my opinion. We'll have to see how the others weigh in (no pun intended ;) Sir, my hat is off to you! Best of luck....X | |
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| Thanks in advance for the profile review
Posted: 5/3/2009 7:13:19 PM | In my opinion you need to make yourself look a little more scruffy looking and try not to look so much like a choir boy. You are relatively tall, decent looking and obviously the fundamentals are there, but you look TOO MUCH like a nice guy. Make women want to be protected by you. Show your dark side (as long as it isn't like really scary).
As far as your profile goes, you need to rewrite it completely and remove all that self defeatism. Boast about what you're good at. Describe your perfect woman. Make jokes.
As far as "First Date" goes, it is a yawnfest. Crank up the creativity or just remove it altogether. | |
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| Thanks in advance for the profile review
Posted: 5/3/2009 7:23:54 PM | How interesting. Two completely opposite reviews. I didn't expect to be controversial...
For now, I'll wait for further praise/censure before making changes. | |
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| Thanks in advance for the profile review
Posted: 5/3/2009 7:33:10 PM | | Self defeatism? Where? Sounds like the OP has set the bar high for himself and attained it! WTG! Too bad more people aren't as determined as him. Just my 2 cents. XV | |
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| Thanks in advance for the profile review
Posted: 5/3/2009 8:05:02 PM | Chalk up one more in the "well done" category.
Unfortunately, daddy needs a new pair of shoes and daddy gets paid here by the quibble and ... well, you know where this is going, right? :)
You actually need to add a bit more. Your "about me" section, compelling as it may be, ends rather abruptly. I was all engrossed in reading this tale of transformation, and then it just rudely dropped off the table. The best way to tie this off and give your profile the feel of a well-written mini-novella, is to write one final paragraph that describes who you'd like to meet, done in a fashion that dovetails perfectly with what preceded it. Give that some thought.
You described your body type as "thin". I dunno, seems more "average" to me?
I’ve also started sailing and hope to be able to join a crew sailing to Hawaii over the summer.
Sounds treacherous. And dangerous. I love it! When you get there, look me up on Maui. Chances are good I'll be there. | |
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| Thanks in advance for the profile review
Posted: 5/4/2009 7:25:45 AM | Hi again Public_Servant,
I'm just trying to help you here. I know you have achieved a lot and that means you are tough as nails. Truly. Most guys can't lose 10 pounds at gunpoint. I'm trying to help you meet a girl your own age who will see that without thinking about you in negative terms. That's what I mean by getting rid of self defeatism. I mean if you had cancer and beat it, its not like you'd go around telling people, no matter how proud you may be. You might tell them once you got to know them a little, but these are complete strangers you're focusing on here. Think of all the things that make you an awesome guys and present that. Show your sporty side. Talk about your friends. Describe what you would look for in a woman. Take the helm of your profile young skipper and sail er into port. | |
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| Thanks in advance for the profile review
Posted: 5/4/2009 7:42:27 AM | What a great read. The only thing I could possibly suggest is a line or two about who you are hoping to meet. Using positive language only, what is attractive to you? Although, I do get the impression you are wide open to meeting just about anyone who can hang on for the ride!  | |
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