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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:22:53 PM | So what's the verdict on my profile?
Just wondering, I tend to not get replies. Not many messages either, all things considered.
I imagine more pictures are needed...I shaved my beard. Well, most of it, anyway. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/4/2009 12:14:55 PM | | Try "CaptainIWearPants" as a screen name, see what happens. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/4/2009 12:43:47 PM | Doooood! You are scaring the girls away.
Now I know you're not really a scary guy because I play the same game, but you gotta tone it down a little. Save that shit for later when you're really talking to someone. It'll work like a charm then. For now in your profile, write something that is a little heartfelt. You write a lot of funny stuff and that is awesome, but you need to show your underbelly a little too.
Pictures. Who knows. You're better looking than most of the sods here, so I'll leave that alone.
Get to work slacker. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/4/2009 1:08:23 PM | See..here's the thing. I dont think your profile is necessarily "bad". If that's truly who you are ("outside of society", eccentric, industrial, zappa-esque,etc).. then thats awesome, and you should be given kudos for expressing your personality so honestly.
Two things that you should consider:
1.) It's entirely possible that people might mistake your profile as being "eccentric/weird just for the sake of being eccentric/weird". (in other words, the comedy and superlatives are great, but dont go overboard - otherwise it looks like you're trying to hard. )
2.) You have a unique profile that is probably only going to appeal to a minor subset of unique women. I'm not saying you should try to be more "mainstream" - and you definitely shouldn't dilute your personality... but just keep in mind that it may take an extra amount of effort to find someone truly compatible with you. (that totally came off sounding like I'm calling you a circusfreak.. and thats not at all what I meant :P no offense meant at all :) | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/4/2009 1:09:53 PM | | Pretty much what cassa said, the no pants line is funny, but you should find a better way to show that you're a funny person. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:07:16 PM | Thanks for the advice, duders.
Actually, the quirkiness things is something that's always been problematic...yes, I'm a gigantic bag of odd quirks that get smelly if I don't wash them. For a long time, I tried acting more "mainstream," but tended to make people run away screaming/call me manipulative/tell me I'm a liar. Funny how that works out...
So, this time around, I'm just typing what happens to spill out of my head, for better or for worse.
I know it'll take extra effort to find "my girl," but given that I'm bizarre that I just assumed ahead of time. I'm going for quality over quantity anyway. Unlike a lot of men I've met, my self-worth isn't based on the number of women that have contained my meat saber.
I'm working on the pictures...I'm much less beardy now and that's quite a change. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 1:31:53 AM | You need at least 1 nice smiley face pic.
Its different, but not original.
No idea what 1st lines are about.
CaptainNoPants would make me think of Homer or Family guy, in a drunken stupor kinda way.
I dont think you have what it takes to pull of that profile as it is now. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 2:16:05 AM | Should we assume that "Captain No Pants" is a reference to Firefly? If so, then you should assume that very few people (women, especially) will get the reference. It's a strategy that should expect a low incidence of payoff. Not that a high risk strategy is "bad". Considering that the average guy gets silence from 90% of the women in his area...what's so bad about upping it to 98%? The 2% who "get you" will probably message you on their own.
Quirk-humor might be right up your alley. But if you go that route, you just have to accept that you aren't going to be average America's cup of tea.
Best of luck to you. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 2:18:16 AM | I assume that I'm not the "average American's" cup of tea, and also that I'll probably come across as AVOID AT ALL COSTS to most. I'm cool with that, I like abnormal folk.
Actually, Captain No Pants is a reference to a City of Heroes character I made. He looked like a very large ship captain in a white dress naval uniform and a big captain's hat, but no pants. I wrote a silly backstory for him and everything. His goal was to find who had his pants, because he woke up one day with no idea who he was, why he was in a navy uniform, or where his pants were.
His warcry was "Have you seen my pants?"
...yeah, I'm one of THOSE people. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 2:25:41 AM | Interesting profile.
I wonder if in your interests you put some quirky ones.. ie not mainstream, so you can see if others have put similar interests.. then you can check the matches.
Worth a try. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 2:32:18 AM | | Not a bad idea, but can you get more quirky and strange than liking IDM? That one I already had up. It's one of those things that you either know what I'm talking about, or have to look it up. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 2:38:14 AM | Well, that's completely different.
Your CaptainNoPants doesn't come from a TV show that almost nobody watched? It is an inside joke that only you know? I think that you just lost that last two percent. Probably never thought I'd say this, but you probably have better chances of connecting with someone if you pretended to be a Joss Whedon fan. | |
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123023
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Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 15 | |
| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 2:40:27 AM | Hum.... I really don't know any women that are really looking for what you are offering in your profile. Honestly, I know a lot of female friends, family, co-workers....who wouldn't be into it.
But, maybe there are some girls out there that would be? if so, you're going to need patience.
Nothing personal, I think you sound like a very interesting person - funny, interesting, creative, but friend-zone only.
But - I can't advise you to change anything if this is really how you are. No reason to false advertise than have it not work out later.
Some unattractive facets:
-Smoker, too thin, heavy drinker, buddahist, cranky,
-reclusive, poor, sarcastic, non-traditional,
-insufferably un-romantic
-My ultimate goal is to be self-employed,
-women who won't cry if I poke fun at her, because I'm a joker.
(Women REALLY don't like this unless you can take just as good as you give, which , surprisingly, most guys who like to do this can NOT take it)
-Women that are down with kinky sex .
The worst is the kinky sex, combined with your "captain no pants" name,
(no matter why you are using it) Kinky sex says horrible things to most women. It can mean anything from anal, group, swinging, humiliation, torture, etc. to every single disgusting thing on the internet. No thanks! | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 2:54:23 AM | Not a bad idea, but can you get more quirky and strange than liking IDM? That one I already had up. It's one of those things that you either know what I'm talking about, or have to look it up.
You're not wrong Narelle (it's Aussie slang)
I did look it up.
Either it's Internet Download Manager or Intelligent Dance Music.
Sue me if you wish, but I believe it's the latter.
I don't think OP is going for the normal everyday woman but someone who's as different as he is. I must admit, it's one of the most interesting profiles I've read and I mean that as a compliment.
At least he's not saying the cliched stuff like 'nice guy, honest, romantic who loves walks on the beach' ...now that's a yawnfest.
(OP maybe you can sorta define 'kinky' sex without getting yourself into a heap of chit TOU wise) | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:03:25 AM | It is, in fact, the latter, madam eyes.
Actually, I HAD put a few details on for the kink earlier, but took them off for...some reason, I really have no idea why.
As for the one with the numbers, yes, I can take it as good as I can get it. When somebody starts saying mean things to me, I usually start giggling uncontrollably, even if they aren't trying to be funny. If they ARE trying to be funny, I'm the one to tell them to keep going.
I'm also not a smoker. Where did you get that?
I'm also not a "heavy" drinker, I just usually have a glass of wine some time on most evenings. One. Just because it says "Often" doesn't mean I'm some ravenous drunk. If you assume that, the problem is YOU, not ME.
What's so wrong with wanting to be self-employed?
More importantly, what's wrong with being a Buddhist? What do you have against Buddhists?
So, because YOU, and a few dozen other women might not like a guy like me, the other THREE BILLION roaming the Earth won't either? Please.
Lastly, that kink thing. That rolls in with everything else. You are making WAY too many assumptions. Of course, any woman that's going to assume the worst on ANY of the above is somebody I want nothing to do with anyway. Far as I'm concerned, you just gave me a big "Thumbs up, buddy!" and got stuck in the "People I would rather not speak to again" pile.
These things may be unattractive to YOU, but I'm not trying to attract YOU. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:11:29 AM | Kinky is relevant to the mindset of the reader.
Eg
Definition 1 - kinky is public sex in a pool of baked beans
Definition 2 - kinky is public sex which they define as any room outside of the bedroom but confined to the house.
Definition 3 - kinky sex is doing it with ...ohmigosh.. clothes OFF and the lights ON! 
All relevant to the mindset. | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:13:05 AM | Yes, I realize that, and added things.
...wait, people do it with lights off and clothes on? Isn't that a touch BORING?
Actually, I run into problems with that end of things...figure it's important to at least mention it, as most women I've met have been too...well, VANILLA for my tastes.
*insert comedy here*
...it's late, I'm tired, and get unfunny when I'm fatigued... | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:17:16 AM | Atch I meant my above post to numbers lady. I know what you know what you mean.
I like the term vanilla sex.. perhaps you could put THAT in your profile ie that you aren't into vanilla sex.. perhaps add a few chocolate sprinkles to that...
wait... not chocolate (could refer to some certain orifice)... | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:21:59 AM | Tragically, everything can be made sexual. Or filthy, for that matter.
...or both.
But, yes, I know what you mean. Thank ye kindly for the advice. It's highly likely that I'll overhaul the profile randomly and come back for more. :V | |
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| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:30:03 AM | I am old enough to be your mother..so I'll take advantage of that.
I said Go to bed!
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123023
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Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 25 | |
| Good, Bad, Ugly?
Posted: 5/28/2009 5:10:25 AM | Wow. For someone who claims that he can take it , your response is very much on the defensive.
Let's not forget, that you originally posted that you weren't getting a response... but now you are thinking positive about the THREE BILLION potentials roaming the earth?
If you didn't want to hear anything negative about the profile, why would you post it for review? Doesn't make any sense. 
What's so wrong with wanting to be self-employed?
lack of regular paycheck. I have plenty of things that I would like to do that would be termed "self-employed" , but instead, work a job to make sure the bills get paid.
Sorry, I must have mis-read the smoking part. But, drinking often is still going to say something to people reading your profile.
____________________________________________
More importantly, what's wrong with being a Buddhist? What do you have against Buddhists?
Nothing wrong with people choosing that, but for a date? LOL As a small excerpt:
From the four noble truths of, considered as containing the essence of the Buddha's teachings,
~
Suffering is caused by craving or attachments to worldly pleasures of all kinds. This is often expressed as a deluded clinging to a certain sense of existence, to selfhood, or to the things or phenomena that we consider the cause of happiness or unhappiness.
Suffering ends when craving ends, when one is freed from desire. ~
A basic goal being to not desire anything, to eliminate the craving that causes the suffering. That is sometimes mistakenly viewed as a directive to just "give in" to cravings ~ when in reality, it is a quest to not have the desire to begin with. This includes sex, kinky or otherwise, no desiring it. 
So, it's unattractive when someone has no drive, no desires, no purpose - or, when someone believes they are a certain religion but does not really have those beliefs.
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It's not about people making "WAY too many assumptions." Duh - that's what people do when reading a profile. Time is short, choices are many. Girls don't take a chance, or do in-depth studies on 500 guys, they assess the information given. Dating is a personal thing to people, you are a stranger. Why should they take a chance on someone that may turn out to be a big problem?
Not to mention the fact that you warned them ahead of time.
You said you like KINK - so what smart woman would take a chance of ending up in a position she didn't like, with you "assuming" that she was forewarned, and therefore agreed to the particular act? Have you seem some of the garbage on the net? Women realize that SOME PEOPLE like that stuff, some people are watching that extreme porn, and some of them are looking for people to do similiar things with them.
These things may be unattractive to YOU, but I'm not trying to attract YOU.
LOL I never said you were trying to attract me... whether you believe it or not, there's a very large group of women like me... I didn't email you, and this certainly isn't the "find a date forum" - it's for profile review.
As for what I said about you'd make an interesting friend (which isn't something that I've ever written to anyone's post, BTW ) ~ maybe you are a little bit too sensitive for that. | |
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