| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:10:23 PM | | I thought I had found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He said he fell in love with me the first time he saw me and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and if I would just give him a chance I would not regreat one moment of it.If someone seems too good to be true most of the time they are. He call me and said he would call me later that night if not he would be sure to talk to me the next morning. Wrong I have called him several time with no answer I even emailed him no answer. I don't know why he couldn't just say hey this is a mistake and part as friends but now I am feeling very rejected and unloved. i said I would never let a man make me feel that way again. Am I just stupited or have just hurt me it is ok wrote all over my face? I wish him well but you know what they say what goes around comes around. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:18:40 PM | How long have you two been seeing each other? I guess that's the most important question in order to make any sense of this.....
You seem like such a sweet person--and, no, you aren't walking around with "stupid" written on your face. Not any more than the rest of us are when we are enamoured by someone special!
Sometimes years of experience/wisdom/lessons learned just flies right out the window when someone grabs us the right way.
I hope you hear from him and can get some kind of closure. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:23:14 PM | How long were you involved with this man? The fact is, a lot of people are chicken shits, and some rightly so if they have tried to tell someone they were mistaken about their feelings and they were ripped a new one for trying to do the right thing.
Just accept that he is not who you or he thought he was and find the guy that is really right for you. If he's doing this, there is a host of undesirable behavior down the road that you are missing.
Most people have moments of gullibility when they meet someone that gives them the butterflies and they look good on paper. If it was necessary to tattoo stupid across everybody's forehead the ink shops would be pretty busy. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:25:16 PM | Madam, I read your profile and you sound like a lovely lady.
Faye, you're not stupid,.. you're just open and loving and willing to take a man at his word.
really, I'm ashamed for people who can led another on like this. This man is flakey at the least, or a manipulative player at worst.
neither means you're stupid, it just means that you must be less trusting of what people say, and observe their actions over time.
Easier said than done, when your feelings are getting in the way of rational thought.
Feelings are the best and worst of what makes us Human.
They bring great joy, and terrible disappointment.
I suppose the key is knowing that you will have feelings for someone you like, but try not to act on them, or confirm them as real, until actions show that they are.
On both sides.
Im so sorry this has happened to you. But, draw on your faith, Faye,.. and know that you deserve better than this man.
You're not unloved, your God loves you, and somewhere, an ocean away, a woman about half your age, cares about you right now, and is sending you all her prayers for strength and happiness for you.
remember, Mans rejection, is Gods protection.
G. x | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:27:10 PM | Maybe he's dead? It could be why he hasn't gotten in touch with you.
I was stood up once. And was really annoyed. Turned out guy had died. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:32:28 PM | I don't trust anyone that tells me they fell in love with me the first time they saw me. How could they know what was really inside? Emails and phone calls give glimpses of who we are - maybe.
There are plenty of men and women out there that will string you along or tell you whatever it is they think you want to hear. Please be more cautious with your heart. Adopt a wait and see attitude. This is just the first time it has happened to you and with caution, hopefully it will be the last. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:39:01 PM | | Thanks Countrygrl12345. He also said I was a very sweet person and he could not see how anyone could ever me. Very easy-- He did it to me also. Oh well I'm 62 and maybe the LORD will put that special someone in my life. Have a blessed night. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:41:07 PM | I looked at your photo and I don't see anything written across it.
I've met and know a number of men who play that game: come on strong and disappear. I've seen them do it to other women, proclaiming their love within the first hours of a date, behaving like the perfect doting boyfriend. And within a week or so, running away, saying things are "moving too fast". Men like that talk the talk but can never walk the walk.
The problem is women want to believe in the fairy tale romance so badly, their rose colored glasses block the giant red flags. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:49:35 PM | | Thanks Landra, You would think at my age I would know better but I just wanted to trust and believe in him. I am a very trusting person. I try to also keep my word because when you lose that trust you have lost everything. Have a blessed night. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:53:15 PM | Faye.....is this guy someone you've known for a while or just met?
And, you keep on being a trusting person...it will pay off. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:55:10 PM | GoodeWitch, what a lovely post.
Faye, one thing I would like to add is that we have all experienced this to a degree at some point whether it was e-mails, or a date or two. One of the things that helps me to not feel like a fool for getting my hopes up is recognizing that many people do not do this because they are leading you on, or even if he was, it doesn't nullify the feelings that you had or the however long your little feet weren't quite touching the ground.
For the woman that said I don't buy the love at first sight thing, I generally agree but there are more than a few celebrity marriages of long duration that claim this happened to them, Denzel Washington, is one that comes to mind and I have heard of "regular" folk this has happened to, back on topic.
While if you noticed some odd behaviors keep them in mind but otherwise, just assume that when he said them his words and feelings were genuine and he is either a bit of a whackjob,r he doesn't know himself as well as he thinks he does, or was making himself into what he thought you wanted, which many do without nefarious designs. I had a friend, omfg, she would totally immerse herself in whatever "hobbies" a new love interest had. I heard she finally remarried so I hope she really did like whatever she pretended to like for his benefit. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:57:40 PM | I wouldn't get discouraged.. Women do the exact same thing dear.
Just move on and forget him.
Just my opinion.. If you keep looking back you're going to hit a pole. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 7:04:53 PM | How long had you known the man? While its certainly a nice compliment to have a man say that they wanted us in their life and they love us, unless they are in our life for months and months and their actions prove it, there is no way I would believe it.
If you are worried you could always send a certified letter to them or if you are even more concerned due to health issue you could even have law enforcement check on him. Or there could have been an emergency and hes simply away.
~Beth~ | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 7:10:42 PM |
Men like that talk the talk but can never walk the walk.
The problem is women want to believe in the fairy tale romance so badly, their rose colored glasses block the giant red flags.
I think she has something there....I have read a lot of profiles and even many from some of the guys that post on the forums, or are on as testimonials on profiles just to try and see a bit about how someone may post things that they do at times.
I have friends that I talk with and we talk about many things. When looking at patterns from listening to some of their stories many things keep jumping out that made me curious.
in the online world many people are not truthful. They lie alot both men and women. in my opinion it dooms their chances right from the start.
picture this... your communicating with someone and they are trying to talk you into dating them so from what I have heard many will embelish things to shine a positive light on themselves. the problem with that is after a few dates they have basically screwed themselves. If they continue then the likelyhood of the truth coming out is very high so as a result the ones that have lied generally pull a disapearing act or break off contact with you because their lies will surface...
When I had text on my profile I was told by several women that were "just trying to help me" that putting negative traits I have on my profile will be bad but.... my thought was why lie.... I know I am a flawed man and as such if i ever get past the first few dates with a woman she will likley come to realize it as well so no sense in hiding it...LMAO
But many out there will fill you up with unrealistic expectations and when they can't deliver on them POOF... they run so they won't be called liars.
This is my opinion.... He likely lied and instead of being called out on being a liar he chose to stop seeing you instead.
This comment is not to you OP it is just a blanket statement for people that might be reading this that have done this in the past.
If your goal is to find a future with someone then why the heak would you consider starting it out on a foundation of lies. You can't lie even though this is online dating because sooner or later if yall find a future mate it will fall apart....
good luck in your search OP sorry you had issues .... look at it this way... you likely had sincerity on you as a label and his concience would not allow him to continue ... there are still plenty of good ones out there. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 7:18:06 PM | | OP, sorry you find yourself in this position. Sadly, there are any number of reasons he has fallen off the face of the earth so to speak... without knowing more details, you can only guess. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 7:23:24 PM | It just sounds like he lost interest. When a guy doesn't call back...usually it means he's lost interest, or met someone else he's more interested in.
When it comes to dating...don't ever believe words only. If a guy's actions don't match his words, then he's not really telling you the truth. Actions...always speak louder then words.
Just be careful. Falling for someone so quickly, just because they "claimed" to have fallen for you on a first date, is a bit foolish, and yes, you are too trusting. If you seem too trusting and vulnerable, some men will take advantage of that, and you'll get burned over and over again. With dating, you need to learn to develop a slightly thicker skin, detach a little better, and develop a solid friendship with someone first, before anything else takes over.
Think of this as a hard lesson you needed to learn so that you don't become a sucker in the future. When it comes to dating, trust your gut, take things slow, and only listen to their actions, not just their words. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/4/2009 10:32:26 PM | you mean, "written." that would the correct tense here. and you would probably say, "Is stupid written across my face," taking out the "there." i think that would sound better.
sorry. english major. can't help it.
lar | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/5/2009 2:03:08 AM | No your not. I guess some people, including myself, have fallen for this at some point and will continue to do so as we are keen to take people at face value
( i omitted my rambling rant at these types from this as i exchanged it for a m&s choc chip cookie)
Cookie crumbs aside, you should not bother to contact him ever again or seek a reason for his vanishing act - as it will never be the truth. Henceforth it will never truly satisfy your wonderment.
And, imo, be wary of people who pop up and vanish mysteriously. Or those who tell you everything you need/want to hear 100% of the time.
Good luck
just not with him
and it wasnt you. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/5/2009 2:28:58 AM | | ~DREAMS~ hit it on the head. He was lying to you and didn't want to get caught. It can be difficult to be honest, especially online, but without that honesty from the start, its just a complete waste of time unless your goal is just to cyberdate for the rest of your life. | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/5/2009 2:35:17 AM | Oh my..
I can't imagine any man treating you badly. Wait this out (within reason).. his *unavailability* may be out of his control at the moment. Stay positive... no bad thoughts (ever, really) ..without knowing the facts.  | |
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| Is there stupid wrote across my face?
Posted: 5/5/2009 2:49:01 AM | you mean, "written." that would the correct tense here. and you would probably say, "Is stupid written across my face," taking out the "there." i think that would sound better.
sorry. english major. can't help it.
lar
Sorry OFF TOPIC...... cant help it.
OP,
I suspect the guy was a chronic liar and he realized he would get caught sooner than later.....so he rather chose to vanish.
Feel sorry for him that he cant start a relationship unless he lies about himself, unlike you that are a genuine person that can be anyone's dream come true.
Just smile and go back to the fishing pond....much good stuff to fish in there!!! | |
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