| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:26:43 PM | What would you think if you found out someone you were interested in, had used an escort service in the past? Would it be a deal breaker? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Didn't know what else to ask simple question | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:29:49 PM | Is that really any different then picking up a one night stand at the local pub after you pay for the drinks?
As soon as you find something in someone else's closet, you should shut the door. Then go and open your own for judgement! | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:31:33 PM | | hmmmmmm ... would I show him the door? depends if his dad paid for her as his cumming out present. bahahaha :P | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:36:27 PM | I'd wonder why he had to pay for someone to spend time with him.
Couldn't he find anyone to go out with?
There's a fine line between "escorting" and prostitution.
Ask Eliot Spitzer | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:39:09 PM | My ex-husband paid for strippers to come to his apartment and give him a lap dance. Would have been a deal-breaker if I had found out before I married him.
How did you find this out? Did he tell you? If so, you can at least applaud his honesty. Guess it depends on the circumstances, how long ago it was and if sex was involved.
If he is still using the escort service, that is definitely a deal-breaker. | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:42:52 PM | Ok, Im trying to figure out what exactly about this scenario it is that makes me go ewww!
Some are saying its no different to a one night stand.
I think it might be.
The main reason I feel its different, is because of the buy/sell aspect.
Sexual needs, agreed to be satiated bewteen two people in a one night stand, is a decision made by both, without the exchange of money.
I think its the 'buying woman as a commodity' aspect that really makes my hackles rise.
I dont think I could ever have anything in common with a man who feels its okay to buy sex from another human being.
Its the calculated nature of his transaction that worries me.
If date him, and things dont go too well, we argue, etc,.. will he find it easier to buy sex at that time, and possibly come back to me afterwards?
Nope, to creepy for my liking.
G. x | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:50:16 PM | Is that really any different then picking up a one night stand at the local pub after you pay for the drinks?
I think it is a lot different. If a woman (or man, but I think you were referring to women) is interested in a casual hookup, why do you assume she is doing it for the free drinks? Most grown women can afford to buy their own beer....and the kind of woman who lets a man pay for her drinks in a bar all night without reciprocating (buying him drinks, I mean) is more likely the kind of woman who doesn't plan to go along with the implied "deal". Nothing wrong with two consenting adults partaking of a ONS if that is what they both want. Getting someone drunk to do so is nasty.
No. I am not okay with paying for sex. It shouldn't be for sale. | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:52:11 PM | That would be a dealbreaker for me.
Using an escort means he opened himself up to many, many more chances of getting an STD than your standard "oops" ONS that so many people have done.
Use the math....(this is just an example!):
Average Joe (10 partners) and you (6 partners)=16
Average Joe (10 partners) and escort (50 partners)=60
That's way too much STD roulette for me.... | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:54:10 PM | It might be the poor guy was going through some financial times....its cheaper to cut a fee than to date a lot of women. I am not sure my ego could stand it, bar that I waqer its much easier on the pocket book............but what is a woman doing when she consents to a night out at the local expensive hot spots ............knowing they cost a fortune and knowing she want be seeing this guy again..........least it for an expensive night out.......
people use people and usually pay for it one way or another.... | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:54:49 PM | Most men pay for sex either way. Three dates and paying for everything = $300 and no guarantee of sex.
Escort service... guaranteed sex and only $300.
I've never used one.. but I live in Nevada where we have TONS of Brothels just 15-20 minutes away. That is what the guys I have talked to told me. The ones who have went there at least.. One older guy said, "I got tired of throwing my money away and paying for dates, so I figure this way I get what I want and don't waste my money"
I pretty much know after a few minutes if a woman is going to be relationship material. If she isn't... Well then she's really only good for one thing..
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 8:06:57 PM |
I dont think I could ever have anything in common with a man who feels its okay to buy sex from another human being.
Wait - hold -up!!! So, by that "logic" the man is totally "in the wrong" but it's okay if a woman chooses to sell it?
And as someone else posted, most men pay for it either way. Even the guy buying a woman one drink and then taking her home has already paid for something.
Pot - kettle - BLACK
It's like blaming all the junkies for being heroin addicts but not even considering that the dealers are bringing the problem to the streets.
I'm just sayin'
Mike | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 8:09:56 PM | | Pot - kettle - black doesn't really go with that thought. If she was willing to date the woman who was selling the sex, but not the man buying it....THEN....pot, kettle comes in to play. | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 8:12:23 PM | Thanks mandakay,.. that would be a true pot kettle black scenario. thanks for that. :)
Some prostitutes are under age Mike, or mentally challenged, .. some are of below average intelligence, some are traumatised by abuse etc etc.. but lets say, shes competant, and of age,.. then yes, shes has a share in the whole caboodle.
I have little sympathy for either prostitute or client, really.
Its the oldest profession,.. but my stance on the OP, was just to answer the main question, which was how would I feel, about dating a man who had used an escort.
I just verbalised how I would feel, without mentioning the wider accountability of John, or prostitute.
As for a man 'paying' for it either way, I just feel sad and a little contemptuous of men who think that by paying for a drink, or dinner, he's just bought himself some sex. Thats just a horrible attitude to have.
In that case, does that mean that every drink I bought a date, or boyfreind, every little trinket, or small gift Ive given boyfreinds, means that they owe me sex? Damn, I must make an inventory, lol,.. I have some collecting to do if thats the case.
G. x
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 8:23:26 PM | so what if he used an escort service in the past.
Hey maybe it is even nice than knowing that he did NOT brake someones heart by just getting what he wanted without a commitment! | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 8:41:35 PM | There's a lot of factors here that would need to be known.
first - did he hire someone to be a date to a function or was it purely for sex?
second - how long ago?
Personally, if it was something that happened long ago, I wouldn't stress it. We can't go back in time and change what we did. We ARE human and sometimes we do stupid stuff. And yes, we grow to regret it in some way. But should we judge someone for something they may have done in the past? Isn't the present/future a little more important as it's more shapeable than the past is?
I may not be religious but I strongly agree with that whole "let ye without sin cast the first stone".
All in all, I think if it was in the past, let it stay in the past and quit worrying about it. Worry about the now and the future. You can't back peddle. | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 9:05:49 PM | There's a fine line between "escorting" and prostitution.
I think the OP is referring to having passed the line quite some time ago.
If it's the type of situation that Dave is talking about, where the escorts are paid well, they are also going to be much more careful about health issues than some semi or totally tanked chick you pick up at the bar, particularly if the customer, er male, is tanked. Two drunks that can't stand up may not be particularly good at the condom even working as a team.
As for it being somehow worse than picking someone up, why? You don't have any more familiarity so neither could be construed as sex within the confines of a loving relationship and at least an escort knows there is a finite period of acquaintance while the poor chick you meet at the bar often hopes for more.
Now, if you're talking about some chick on the local professional street or some skank hanging out at low class dives at 2:00 a.m., um no, no matter how long ago it was. And that's another thing, is there something inherently morally reprehensible about using an escort service that would somehow speak to a massive character change in the individual just because he hasn't done it for years versus a month before he met you? Maybe rather than an fwb, he preferred meeting his needs with an escort while he was taking his time getting to know you, to make sure when you actually started having a relationship, he didn't rush the sex. Many people have relations with fwbs in this manner and many people believe that it is no one else's business.
Most people don't announce that they have a proclivity for one-night stands so with most people, you don't have a clue what you are getting in the bargain. Any intimacy is risky in a new relationship but no, I don't think I would go all mental if I discovered that a man had done that for whatever reason he felt valid. | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 9:08:47 PM | I've been an escort before...... you just go out on a date, look dazzling pretend like it's your money your buying dinner with, your "this old thing clothes" say all the right things, lie like hell to the womans friends..... then give them a passionate kiss on the way out the door, shake hands and walk away after the party.
I see nothing wrong with escorts, sometimes people get ditched before big parties... or they want to make some-one jealous with another half their age.
Now prostitution, from male or female perspective...... that's not cool at all, but if he/she was completely honest, was willing to be std tested and work through that whole lying next to you is ok but spooning with you makes me queasy phase..... i believe it would be ok.
Frank | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 9:11:02 PM | | It's creepy. One night stands are creepy to me too. Because there's WAY too much unknown to take such a risk. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 23 | |
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 9:23:42 PM | "Nothing wrong with two consenting adults partaking of a ONS if that is what they both want. Getting someone drunk to do so is nasty."
You're right it is nasty getting somebody drunk in order to to take advantage of them. I find to be way more reprehensible then going to a clean sober drug free escort who uses protection. I'll take my chances with an escort over some random bar patron anyday.
Yet you find something wrong with two consenting adults having a transaction both get what they want. She gets paid he gets his rocks off so what's the problem?
"No. I am not okay with paying for sex. It shouldn't be for sale. "
Why not?
Is it maybe because when something is easy to get it lowers in value and you have a problem with that? | |
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| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/4/2009 9:26:18 PM | GoodeWitch :.I dont think I could ever have anything in common with a man who feels its okay to buy sex from another human being.
You have two men. One takes a woman he has just met out to dinner which costs $50, and then they have sex.One takes a woman and has sex with her and gives her the $50 he would have spent on dinner.In both cases he has spent money for sex. So what's the big deal? To you the second one is prostitution, to me neither is. And if both women leave with a big smile...even better.
~Beth~ | |
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