| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 11:58:36 AM | Ok, so i've come to the conclusion that women are very insecure creatures when it comes to committment.... and i have come to this conclusion by way of life really.... now i won't say that i have been experimenting since i started dating but it does seem like one big experiment! Not so much for me but for the women! Now for the question... At the beginning it's 'yeh, i really do want a long term relationship' and then halfway through it you start to change your mind and decide that you want to go and see the world instead! Why is it that women change their mind so much during relationships? If you had this idea in your head before you start the 'Long-Term Relationship' why not say something so that the guy won't get all hooked on you? why not be honest from the beginning? This way you could have like an 'open relationship' where the guy could possibly meet someone else who would have been great but instead he stayed faithful! During the years many women have given him the eye but what did he do? He stayed true and faithful!
I would say just be honest right from the off about your intentions! | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:01:31 PM | You can't just atr every woman with the same brush. If the same thing keeps happening with you, could it possibly be something about you? I mean, I wouldn't consider it normal to say yeah I want a long term relationship at the start of it...
Maybe you come across as too clingy/needy if you're all about the long term straight away. | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:04:56 PM | | I asked this question to the Ladies Andy.... i don't think you are a Lady are you? Or is there something you are not telling us? | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:12:56 PM | So what, you want a woman to tell you the same thing as Andy?
Just wait a bit I'm sure one will be along to oblige.... | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:22:30 PM |
So what, you want a woman to tell you the same thing as Andy?
Just wait a bit I'm sure one will be along to oblige....
Make way, one is here and as N8 Dawg predicted, I am going to second Andy.
I'll also add that, whilst you are obviously hurting right now, ranting about all women after your experience with one is hardly productive. I'm sorry you went through that, I am going through something similar right now but I have better sense than to start a thread criticising all men because of one worthless SOB. | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:24:32 PM | A woman may still want a long tern relationship, she just doesn't want it with you.
It takes time to really learn about someone, the six month mark seems to be when you realize , there is no way I could wake up every day next to this jackass. | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:31:29 PM |
I asked this question to the Ladies Andy.... i don't think you are a Lady are you? Or is there something you are not telling us?
Well it is the weekend, and I could do with the extra cash.... Don a wig, a dress, and you can call me Andrea! Just don't pay too much attention to the knobbly knees!
All I was trying to do is offer some advice. If you don't want to hear the advice, then why would you post? | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:36:26 PM | Apparently you have been conducting your "experiments" with the wrong women.
That's what dating is for, for those looking for a LTR, to see if you could possibly be the person they want for a serious commitment.
People change their mind, it's human.
If this has been happening to you consistently then the common denominator is you. | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:40:34 PM | | Sounds like they get bored and tired of you. Decide the world and beyond is far more interesting and go explore it. | |
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Posted: 5/10/2009 12:45:09 PM | | Honestly...sometimes women dont know what they want. Maybe the person in question just changed their mind or decided they had things they wanted to do, even needed to do...its different with each woman hunni x x x | |
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Posted: 5/10/2009 12:54:12 PM | Down with women... ALL of them...
OK seriously now, You can't tar EVERY woman with the same brush and you aren't the only one who has been messed around (in your opinion)...
Maybe it's you or you just go for the same type... Either way, this is not the place for hating or hurting. | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 1:32:16 PM |
You can't just atr every woman with the same brush. If the same thing keeps happening with you, could it possibly be something about you? I mean, I wouldn't consider it normal to say yeah I want a long term relationship at the start of it...
Maybe you come across as too clingy/needy if you're all about the long term straight away.
I CONCUR!!!
Don't worry andy...... I got yer back. | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 1:38:25 PM | It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I just find it amusing that I offered some advice and got such a reply...
To the OP, maybe just try regular dating at first and see how ti goes. Sounds like you dive in there trying to be "coupley" before that level of comfort has been built.
I've done it before, and can still come across as a bit eager at times, but think of the guinness advert..."Good things come to those who wait", take your time and try to enjoy yourself! | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 1:49:26 PM | | people changed their mind for good reasons. able to make a "long term" woman changed her mind half way through, maybe you are not telling the whole story? | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 2:39:54 PM | | Most of us are looking for long term relationships, but not with every man we date. The reason for dating is to get to know one another and see over time if peoples' actions match their words, if you have similar values, can compromize enough to merge lives eventually etc...If someone changes their mind during this period, it's most likely because they don't think that you are compatible long term. | |
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wynd1
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Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 16 | |
| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 3:26:50 PM | | When we reach a point in dating and realize the guy is not the one for the long term we must be honest. Seems to me, women in your experiment are dayumed! She could just cheat, right? Geez, women were honest with you and cut bait before moving on. You may not be certain what you want or appear desperate. Take things slow and play fair. | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 3:53:24 PM |
A woman may still want a long tern relationship, she just doesn't want it with you.
It takes time to really learn about someone, the six month mark seems to be when you realize , there is no way I could wake up every day next to this jackass.
I'll go with this answer. I am looking for someone to marry. But forever after is a long time to be with just anyold guy that happens to be looking to get married as well. | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:13:26 PM | LOL Maybe i shouldn't have put this question up in here!!!
And NO it's happened a few times but not everytime and it's not allways wanting to go on some world cruise.... I just wanted to know what it is that makes you change your mind? Yes, i know people break up but if you just told the truth in the beginning then the guy could have found someone else....
I'm not hating either.... just asking a question | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:23:49 PM | Ok Andy..... thanks for the advice! Now get outta here.... i want the attention  | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:31:38 PM | Its not that they don't want long term relationships. Its because, for whatever reason, they don't want a long term thing with you. I am not trying to put you down, but things don't always work out.
Sadly it takes time to work out that something won't work in the long term, there is no way for people to know instantly whether people will be together for years to come after a few dates.
You may think someone is great, but then you find out they have annoying habits, have strong views on things you disagree with.
Here is one thing I don't get, why do you think that, because a women wants a long term relationship, she should carry on with something that she doesn't think will work out in the long term.
Surely there is the honesty there that they know it won't work out, so tell you as such, so you and her can both move on and try to find your match?
Just a quick question, to understand where you're coming from, do you genuinely think that because a woman breaks up with you, its because she doesn't want a long term thing?
I'm just trying to see your point of view, please don't take it as anything personal, and i know i'm not a woman, but i feel i can contribute positively to this discussion. | |
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| Honesty
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:37:56 PM | Your making a sweeping generalization about all women which is unfair. There are dishonest men and women out there.
There are some men and women who are insecure, afraid of committment (it means they have to grow up), not honest about themselves or what they are truly seeking. Time will tell what a person is truly seeking.
In my profile for example it indicates that I seek friendship first and ultimately would like an LTR, which is the truth. Your comments about women are incorrect. | |
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