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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt      Home login  
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 Silvercutie
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 1
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirtPage 1 of 1    
i was wondering why some guys tend to treat there spouces like crap such as emotional abuse and mentally abuse. i mean i know this person who is living with her ex and well he doesnt treat her the nicest. hes always saying mean things and blaming everything and also she feels she cant have any friends becuase if she wanted a female friend well hed want to sleep with her and if she has single friends well hed think shes fkn him. well she decided to be friends with a married man and her ex bf flipped out when she got home. she doesnt really know why because her ex always meetin girls online. constantly cheetn on her when they were together and calln her names like stupid and such. Why do some men NOT ALL but some treat ppl that way and yes this person is me
 Grimblekin
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 2
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Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:04:38 PM
I've quite often asked myself why girls stay with guys that treat them like dirt.

Girls are naturally attracted to the "bad boy" because the bad boy act displays "manliness".

As for why men treat women like dirt...I think the only answer I can honestly think of is: Because women put up with it.

If women didn't put up with, and keep running back to these guys that crap on them, then perhaps these guys would wisen up and start treating women with more respect. As the old saying goes, "if it isn't broken, don't try to fix it". If a guy knows he can treat a girl like crap and have her running back to him constantly...why would he change anything?
 slapshot682
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 3
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:06:29 PM
It's usually a total power trip. Many men are not able to control things in their lives therefore if they can control a woman that has low self-esteem, it makes them feel powerful. Somebody very close to me had the exact same problem and the only way she broke it was that he moved away.

I treat women with respect because it's what I would want in return. Plus I can see my mom getting the broom or rolling pin ready if I treated any woman with disrespect.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 4
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Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:12:49 PM
It's simple...
A woman puts up with this for one or more of the following reasons...

1... Low self-esteem...
2... Low self-worth...
3... She's not very bright...
4... She needs psychiatric help....
5... She's stupid...

Pick one or All of the Above...
 776877
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 5
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:14:03 PM
Grimblekin nailed it, if all women decided one day not to put up with bad treatment it would end within a very very short time but that'll never happen so it gets perpetuated. Not that (the bad)guys need get off the hook but it seems to be a 'learned behavior' IMO.
 ççç™
Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 6
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:14:14 PM
You're asking the wrong question. This man is treating you like dirt, because he's a douche bag. But that's not the problem here.
The problem is YOU. And the $60K question ; why are you still with him?
 dallasdoer
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 7
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Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:16:01 PM
Men treat women like women treat men but men probably are worse. The reason for such behavior is character defect, antisocial personality, and sado-masochism for starters. Some women are so fkd up that they like it or like to hate it. They're both sick but, it takes all kinds. Sadly, bodies mature way before mental health does.
 oneofathought
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 8
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Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:16:40 PM
Hate to say this, but because he can. If he is allowed to be a shallow creature on this earth with a person that will keep him, then why not. Not that most guys would do this even if they had the chance. Unfortunately you found the one that will.

Leave him now! Do not pass go and go directly to out the door. You don't deserve it whatever the circumstances.

Best to you and think it can only get better! If you dump his sorry arce.
 mynamesnotjesus
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 9
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:19:36 PM

Why do some men NOT ALL but some treat ppl that way

Because they, in their life, learned that it is okay or "the way it is" or "who they are." So they seek ways to maintain their mental health. Even though it's generally unhealthy.

And it's easier to continue bad, controlling, objectifying, abusive behavior by rationalizing it, or seeking others that will accept/validate it, than admit there is a problem and try to fix it. As in most cases admitting it would be tantamount to accepting they are a "bad" person.

My question would then be:
Why do some (not all) women that are treated like dirt, stay with the men that treat them like dirt, and then complain about it as though they have no say in their treatment?
 startn all over
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 10
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Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:26:01 PM
Ya know that question runs through many a man's head very often. What is it about a man that can abuse a woman in any way shape or form. No matter how she treats him its un called for and well if the *hit hits the fan go your seperate ways, no need for any abuse. I would tell you to get out and stay away. It is so much easier said than done because i lived with it for too many years but there were kids involved and yes she abused me in emotionaly menatlly and every other way possible (not in a good way either). I wish you luck with your situation but be careful cause its not always over when its over, trust me (not like you know me) but not all men are like that and no one deserves that kind of treatment.
 jbking2
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 11
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:28:19 PM
My own personal guess for why some men do this is that they like to have total control and believe that if someone wants to be in a relationship with them, they surrender a large part of themselves to the relationship. In a way this is a parasitic relationship where the guy slowly sucks the soul out of the other person who may be trying many things believing that if she just does this or that, he'd change.

I could say that in the past that the control issues would be the main reason for why I did this. I wasn't taught growing up how to build and handle relationships so in my first one I broke a lot of eggs trying to make my omelet, in a sense.
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 12
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:45:57 PM

he doesnt treat her the nicest. hes always saying mean things and blaming everything



constantly cheetn on her



and calln her names like stupid



this person is me


gee...are you really asking this question?...I think michael jackson said it best...

"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that change"

stop allowing yourself to be treated like crap...

(extra points for a michael jackson reference)
 jimstl
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 13
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:56:32 PM
I saw your profile and you are not even married. So, how can you be in an abusive relationship if you are single. If you see your girlfriends in trouble help them out if they ask for it. All I have to say to you is Good Luck in finding the right man and I wish you the best in finding a man who will not abuse you. Overall, I look at myself and what I can do to improve on myself first and I let the others handle their relationships with their spouses. There are plenty of social counselors that can help in these relationships. To those hypothesizing and playing Dr. Phil it is great you want to lend some of your experiences but I think she has to be frank with herself and not pretend
what she isn't in her profile. Good Luck fishing to all the single people and may everyone find what they dream for.
 crazyone77
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 14
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:02:13 PM
Well an ex is an ex. If he was doing this when she was with him what made her think he anything would change. I know i could never live with an ex. Try to get her to find another place to live.
 0wiseone
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 15
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Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:05:27 PM
Here's the thing. When people are mean sometimes and nice sometimes, the nice is fake. People will become attracted to the nice and think that is the true personality. When people show their true colors by being mean, then begging forgiveness, and promising not to do it again, human nature dictates we forgive, try to help each other heal and go back to being nice. Unfortunately, the reality is that allowing forgiveness sets the tone that people can be mean, apologize and then do it all again. The only consequence will be to apologize again.

Stop thinking there is anything attractive about abusive people. Whatever you think is attactive is only a fantasy. You wake up from your fantasy with a cold hard slap in the face ... literally.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 16
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:42:02 PM
Huh, so jerks are jerks because women allow it? There is no responsibility on the part of the men?--which was the ACTUAL question, BTW. Don't blame the women for the guys being jerks (yes, blame the women for staying/putting up with it).

Guys are jerks because they are insecure little boys and need to abuse someone they feel is weaker so they feel (prove) they're stronger--they will pick someone who seems weaker, and make her weaker, still, through verbal abuse or physical violence. They do it because they feel they have no power (whether they do or not is beside the point, really). The basic answer is:
Insecurity and low self-esteem on the part of the abusers.
 sherlockjr
Joined: 3/27/2009
Msg: 17
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:58:19 PM
For the same reasons that some woman treat men like garbage.

Because they are bullies and get off on controlling the other person. Because they are insecure and it makes them feel better to be in control of someone since they cannot be in control of their own life.
 MimikOctopus
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 18
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:58:22 PM
And because they are too afraid to look in the mirror. People tear other people down to make themselves seem better in comparison.

Emotional abuse is not just limited to men, women do it too, but I bet you hear about it a lot less because their victims are more likely to be too ashamed to report it, men are supposed to be tough. This is true of physical abuse as well.
 teacheractive
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 19
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:43:56 PM
Here:
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/88037/dating-question-can-a-guy-be-too-nice

Guys are trained to be a**h***s because that is the only way most can keep a woman's attention. Search for the David D thread.
 sherlockjr
Joined: 3/27/2009
Msg: 20
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:51:15 PM

Guys are trained to be a**h***s because that is the only way most can keep a woman's attention. Search for the David D thread.


OMG. This David Deangalo guy is something else. In my opinion its alot of B/S mixed in with a few (very few) valid points.
 Dusto79
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 21
Why do some (not all) men treat women like dirt
Posted: 5/10/2009 10:04:54 PM
David D supposedly trains guys to be players. As loathsome as his techniques are there are valid relationship psychologist out there who will actually try to teach *nice* guys, (the ones that finish last,) to act a little bit like jerks at the beginning of a relationship just to get the chemistry with a woman before reverting to their nice guy state to build a lasting relationship.
The reason? Because many woman unconsciously equate a man being self-centered and egotistical with being "manly" and self-confident, so they have a strong attraction to men like that.
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