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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?      Home login  
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 ns
Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 1
How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?Page 1 of 1    
I'm the girl who goes after the guy who is kinda interested. The guy gives me just enough to catch my attention then he loses interest shortly after because he wasn't all that interested to begin with. When he's into me but not that into me it still gives me hope that his interest will grow because it's already somewhat there. But many people have told me that a guy should be extremely interested almost right away. But isn't it a bad sign when a guy comes on really strong right away? So which is it? And how can you tell when a guy is extremely interested? (but not dangerous/obsessive) as opposed to just "somewhat interested"?
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 2
How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/11/2009 6:48:40 AM
Are you the kind of person who waits on the corner for the bus, then when it comes you don't get on, but once it starts leaving you run after it, and if it stops to wait for you you turn back?
 ns
Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 3
How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/11/2009 6:51:33 AM
.......

No I am not.
 MontanaSkies
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 4
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How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/11/2009 7:42:00 AM
Sometimes "interest" is a thing that grows once you get to know someone. Sometimes its a thing that deminishes once you get to know someone.

It happens.

Sometimes he's interested, but once you show interest, he realizes its not challenging enough for him and he loses interest

Sometimes, he loses interest and then you are more interested. Its now a challenge to conquer him

Hon, that is part of life, part of dating, part of being single, part of the game, part of the head-aches...the heart-aches.

When you meet "the one" none of these games will apply. The clouds will open up, the seas will part and Everything in your world will connect !!! Hang in there
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 5
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How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/11/2009 7:56:54 AM
Why do you think you are most attracted to people who show lukewarm interest in getting to know you?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 6
How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/11/2009 9:27:03 AM
There's never a 100% sure-fire way to know EXACTLY how interested someone is... because many times THEY don't even know... or they selectively put out certain vibes to throw someone off (to not be too predictable or to avoid you romantically).

With that said tho, for most people, most of the time, yes, you can read their interest within a good level of accuracy. Sometimes even better than THEY can -- especially if they're intelligent (which is a whole other discussion).

You already say that you go for the guy who is "kinda interested". So you already know he's not ga-ga over you in the beginning, but is in the state of mind where he'll possibly entertain the notion of dating you. How do you read a guy that it's more than that? I think it's obvious, but...

1) Body language. Things like maintaining eye-contact, his open body positions toward you, etc.
2) He'll want to keep conversations going with you.
3) He's within your "range" of looks all-around.
4) When he's dealing with you, he's not bouncing around, approaching other gals across the room if you're showing mutual interest.
5) He makes 'moves' on you, like asking for your phone #.

Now, with that said:
1) I know with GIRLS, it's never crystal clear on interest, but I think with guys it's much clearer from observation. We make the moves. Girls have it easier.
2) YOU have to make yourself open to guys who approach you. You can't "put up a wall". Yes, there's reasons why some women do that, but that doesn't mean there's an excuse. You have to be open to them if you're interested. Otherwise, you have security issues, and guys will walk away and lose interest. This is a requirement -- otherwise, guys will play games with you too.

If a guy comes on REAL strong right away? Depends on how you define it. Like showing his interest in a very obvious way right off the bat? Maybe not the best strategy, but at the same time, no, doesn't mean he's dangerous or obsessive. If he's saying things like "I like you SOOO much" and keeps repeating compliments that he just can't stop saying -- yeah, that's scary. But if you can tell right off the bat he really digs you and there was no "mystery" or whatnot -- you can take it as him not trying to be don juan, but just cutting to the chase.
 miss_contemplative
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 7
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How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/11/2009 9:50:06 AM
There's only one way to know for sure if he is interested.

If he says so.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 8
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How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/11/2009 4:52:31 PM
Let's see - a guy is interested by his words, his actions, and the BOTH of you have no doubts that he wants to be with any other woman. If you feel that a man is coming on too strong, that's your gut telling you something. When you are really into someone, you JUST KNOW IT!
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 9
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How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/11/2009 5:57:52 PM
If he is extremely interested he will be contacting you every day at least once a day or more. You actually have to be leery of this kind of guy cause he is the type that will be gone fast as soon as you show some return interest.

If he is kinda interested it's much better. He will contact you a couple times a week and won't pressure you for anything. Guys take a lot longer to develop real feelings for a girl and they might talk to you for a couple months at least before they really discover they have serious feelings for you.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 10
How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/11/2009 7:20:23 PM
What you are describing is insecurity; there is no way to know other than intuition and communication.

I think you need to look at peoples actions and not just the words; you also need to look at why you pick guys that are on the fence about you. You are part of the reason; you need to choose more serious guys.
 phatgrrl
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 11
How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?
Posted: 5/12/2009 5:19:56 AM
This is a really good answer! I'd like to add that if ur not sure by the way he is acting, then he probably isn't.. Ask yourself, who is chasing whom? Do you have to call/text/email first in order to hear from him? Trust your gut, and if you think he isn't interested then let go and move on.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How can you tell if he's interested? What is the difference?