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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > He says "you're sweet" and he means it as a high complement...      Home login  
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 widowsdesire
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 1
He says "you're sweet" and he means it as a high complement...Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I did a search before posting this, so please don't tell me its been done to death...

I always felt when someone said "she is sweet" it usually meant you can't think of anything better to say about the person. Like when you are fixing someone up on a blind date, and they ask what is she like. If the answer is "She is really sweet." most guys would say "I'll pass." I guess it has the same connotation with men. If a man you don't know is described as sweet, lots of ladies would pass for the same reason.

Now let's look at the word in a different context. You know the woman. You have been dating each other exclusively for months. You are both looking for a long term relationship. When talking about what things you like about each other he gives his "short" list, 1. You're sweet 2. You're and incredible cook 3. You've got the touch.

I was shocked that the first thing that came out of his mouth was "you're sweet".
How come when its a blind date, and you are told the girl is sweet you pass, but when you are already in a monogamous relationship all of a sudden it becomes a complement. I don't get it. When you are looking for someone that you are considering as a long term partner, is a woman being " sweet" on your list of desired qualities.
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 2
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 6:32:36 AM
I love your posts OP so I'm just going to sit back and see what sort of answers you get......................

Just for the record - I have been called "sweet" before too.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 3
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He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 6:41:14 AM
When sweet is a bad thing it is because it is the only thing given as a description of the person and what is not said then becomes a problem; they don't also say she/he is smart, gorgeous, yada, yada, which means that she is either very average or not very attractive, possibly not the brightest bulb in the box, sense of humor, meh.

Sweet to me means a very kind, loving, truly nice person so how is this not a compliment? I think you are mixing up being sweet as an attribute that incorporates some fine qualities, with it being the only attribute which is an entirely different thing.

Particularly if someone was treated poorly by a previous mate, sweet can be very important. My ex was emotionally and verbally abusive, someone that is kind and thoughtful is tremendously important to me because living with selfish individuals who think little about how their behavior affects other people is something I wish to avoid.

OP, he's falling in love with you, stop sweating the small stuff and just enjoy what's going on. There are no guarantees in life as you well know. I asked a guy once about his profile and whether at his age, around 52, if he found women comfortable with the sort of casual dating thing on any long-term basis. He said he was amenable to a relationship should the right woman come along but he learned that by thinking too much about the future, you miss what's right in front of you.

I didn't really get that at the time but now I think you do. Certainly you evaluate whether someone is a long-term prospect by the basic things but if he has most of what you need and a lot of what you want, you can fail to really enjoy today because you are worrying about whether he has the stuff of a long-term partner or whether he thinks highly enough of you for that to actually happen.

He's a good guy, he's into you, buckle up and enjoy the ride. If it doesn't last forever, that's okay because you are not a gazillion years old and he is not the last man on earth. Enjoy the happiness while you're having it.
 ShabbiKid
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 4
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 6:46:37 AM
If someone I know that's sincere tells me they know a real sweet lady and want to set me up for a date I accept with gladness. I do have friends I don't trust to set me up with any lady but for the most part I am willing to at least give the lady the opportunity to show if she is sweet.

To respond to your question: Different people interpret being sweet differently.
 SavonaWoman
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 5
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 6:53:20 AM
Sweet:

A sprinkle in your morning coffee
Sugar pie
Frosting on your flakes
Spring strawberries
Chocolate fondue
Mommies' cookies
Soft gummies bears
Caramel covered apples
Cotton candy
Honey in your tea

Sweet tastes yummiest ... so sweet is GOOD ... Yea !!!

Savona
 wicked_desires
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 6
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 6:55:09 AM
Wicked is sweet, but its long been established he has an unhealthy muffin addiction.

That aside I fail to see how this, along with the pedantic cannot be applied to the usual, your are attractive, soo hot, sexpot, special the one.

I guess its who says it and to whom and how it be said, wouldn't you agree.

People are allowed to be nice/sweet dosnt mean you have to love them or run of into the bushes with them.

Me? i dont like getting called hun or babe. I can tolerate it dependent on who/how it is said to me ;)
* erm sometimes
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 7
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He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 6:59:02 AM
I've always felt, if a person can be described with one noun, or one noun and one adjective, its a sign of one-dimensionality.

But, as the OP pointed out, "Sweet" wasn't the only noun given.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 8
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He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:00:06 AM
"Sweet" is one of the nicest things I can say about someone, and while I'd usually put it in more specific terms, "sweet" is a sort of catch-all word. If I say someone is sweet, I mean that they are kind, compassionate, caring, loving, and have a positive attitude and outlook. I like to meet such people, as long as they are also intelligent, and would gladly date them if they are attractive to me.
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 9
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:06:09 AM
Hello widow desire....

Good to see another nice thread from you. I need it these days!

I thing the key is in the connotation when the word is used.

Sweet is always a good thing....but when you already know the person and you have a relationship, being sweet means that with all the in's and out's and all the challenges, you remain SWEET. Means you don't over: whine, nag, scream, fuzz, mood swing, etc. Means you are still with a credit balance in his mind. Its a great thing that you remain SWEET in his mind.
Men need to warmth more than they admit, they enjoy the peace and clam as well...a sweet person gives them that. It highly appreciated.

Yes, like you mentioned "sweet" sometimes is used in lieu of a better thing to say. To tell you the truth, lots of people rather have a just sweet man or woman in their lives than a nag, pest, rude, moody one with great looks.

Always

G.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 10
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He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:08:07 AM
To me Sweet is just an expression/compliment, I guess an alternative to nice . I have been called Sweety, comment like" you are sweet". I don't make a big deal out of it,what ever a person mean ...

It bothered me because lots of ants are all over me.
 widowsdesire
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 11
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:11:51 AM

I love your posts OP

Thank you spicynicegirl! I like yours too.

I have a thing about words. I am always trying to find just the right word to express what I really mean. I often will resort to dictionary.com to see if the chosen word is really hitting the mark.

Sweet has so many connotations. Synonyms include betwitching, enchanting, engaging, enticing, fascinating, fetching, glamorous, lovely, pretty, tempting. Now if that is what he meant by saying I was sweet, I will take the complement.

Sweet means pleasing to the senses, agreeable, pleasing to the mind or feelings, having a pleasing disposition, kind, gracious, lovable, precious, delightful, amiable, or precious. Sweet means winning, charming, pleasing to the eye, or beautiful, attractive or fair.

When someone is referred to as my "sweet" they mean a dear or beloved person, their darling or sweetheart. It is a term of endearment.

When we are "sweet on" someone it means we are infatuated or in love.

I know we women are big on words. I wonder if men have a clue what they are saying when they tell their lady she is " sweet". I hope so. Understanding what the word really means, makes it far more than a superficial complement.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 12
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He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:16:37 AM
How come when its a blind date, and you are told the girl is sweet you pass,

Guys think visually. If that's the best compliment you have for the girl, then she's probably homely or overweight or doesn't have much going for her.


but when you are already in a monogamous relationship all of a sudden it becomes a complement.

And it means you're the type I'd bring home to momma.

Guys aren't that difficult to figure out.
 hardcoredaydreamer
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 13
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He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:18:34 AM
sweet isn't a bad thing? for ages my friends and i had decided if you called someone "cute" it was just a nice way of saying they were manky until we realised that at 5'4 and under all of us were constantly getting called "cute" and decided we couldn't all be mingers. just because you have an idea of what a word means in your mind doesn't necessarilly mean everyone things the same.... at least i hope not, i'm always told i'm sweet and cute =/ life.
 JulietJuliet
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 14
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:25:27 AM
'Your Sweet' sums everything up in the one word.
I see 'sweet' as loving, caring. cute, nice, understanding and just about everything good. Geez I LOVE the word!
If someone described a friend as sweet then I would instantly like that person before I even met them.....then make my own judgement when we met!
With the work I am involved in I am often described as sweet .
I think the word is used more as a persona thing rather than a physical description.
Of cousre we have the teenage version of 'sweet'.....translated...GREAT!!!
Sweet is definately on my list of wants and desires.
 widowsdesire
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 15
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:27:49 AM
OP, he's falling in love with you, stop sweating the small stuff and just enjoy what's going on.


Packagedealx3, please do not misunderstand my posting this thread as any insecurity I might have in my current relationship. I have none. I am blissfully happy with him, and very accepting of our situation as single parents with separate households. I am calmly taking this relationship one day at a time and not trying to force things to go any faster than their natural pace. I happen to just be a thinker. I love the discussions on the forums and hearing other peoples opinions.

When my man told me I was "sweet" as his number one reason on his short list, I was a bit surprised. I knew however without a doubt that to him that was a very high complement. He has also told me "You are so nice." ARRRGGGHHH, another word when used in isolation that would be takent he same way as sweet. If you can't hink of anything better to say about someone say they are "nice".I remember when a guy broke up with me in college his excuse was I was too "nice" for him, that I deserved better. However, again, knowing the nature of our current relationship, I think it was meant in the very best of ways when he told me I was sweet.

Oh he has said I am caring, and playful, sexy, sensuous, "the greatest", comfortable... the list goes on. I just found it very curious that when we had this discussion the word he chose was "sweet'. I was not at all insulted, just surprised. I like hearing other people's take on how they respond to the word under different settings.
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 16
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:29:43 AM
Sweet...to me...is an idunno. I think my stacking order of positive declarations of how I'd perceive/represent a g/f are as follows...
...Fun
...Confident
...Sexy
...Astute
...Cute
...Happy
...Smart
...Erotic
...Sweet
...Considerate
...Charming
...Capable

But then again, I'm like the OPie...finding the right words is important (to me). But I also understand not to judge other's usage.

I seem to remember a quote that went something like "Just because someone is not loving you all that you want does not mean they aren't loving you all that they can". Enjoy the 'sweet'...I'm sure it was meant with the greatest of sincerity.

 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 17
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He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:34:31 AM

(OP) How come when its a blind date, and you are told the girl is sweet you pass, but when you are already in a monogamous relationship all of a sudden it becomes a complement. I don't get it. When you are looking for someone that you are considering as a long term partner, is a woman being " sweet" on your list of desired qualities.


I find it a strange thing to say to ones partner. It's nice but it's so casual.

"My elderly neighbor is such a sweet lady." "The little girl who comes into the ice cream shop with her mom is so sweet."

Perhaps it has to do with how people have heard it used but being told one is sweet does not conjure up feelings of romance for me.
 4forumonly
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 18
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He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:44:03 AM
Wow, I still can't believe the adult women still analyzing a simple word like high school girls.

Word is worthless without action.

Grow up, little girls.
 michael feir
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 19
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:46:37 AM
The problem here is that the word "sweet", when applied to people, covers a heeping lot of ground. I think we'd agree, overall, that a person said to be "sweet" has a kindly disposition. I have observed, however, that people also use "sweet" to describe a person who has a quality of naivety or innocense about him or her. Also, as we get to know one another more deeply, these nebulous descriptors acquire contextual meaning. This is true of any such label we humans like to stick on one another. As we get to know each other, the word "sweet" retains its usefullness. Its precise meaning changes so gradually that we don't even hear the deeper conviction or ponder how the overall connotation has changed. A lot of words are like that.
 IamSerious
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 20
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:50:12 AM
Sweet is a compliment, sweet has some great connotations. As other posters have mentioned it is in the context of its usage. You should be able to tell if it's meant in a positive manner or not, to me it seemed positive.

Now cute is the one that gets me, especially when you consider my wife told me that I was cute and then explained that cute means ugly but interesting
 toyoux
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 21
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:54:45 AM
Nice to see you're back OP!! Happy to hear you're still in blissful nirvana!! I am too and this post made me laugh for the following reason...............first a little background......................I've met someone that has completely restored my faith in a number of things. It's a sincere honor to know him and absolute fun to be with him. I've never been so comfortable with someone so quickly...........a wee bit scary at my age!

Anyway, he said something to the effect, "You're a good woman............you've got a good hide". HUH? After picturing a slab of cow hanging from a meat hook...........I asked if that meant he thought my butt was big.

He assured me that was not what he meant (damn good "save" I'd say) but I still laugh when I think about it..........as your post made me do. I think that "sweet hide" may become a new term of endearment? We live in Arkansas........so what the hell?
 WindRoper
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 22
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:01:05 AM
Hmmm... I've never thought of "sweet" in that way. One of my favorite compliments is about somebody being so sweet all I need in my coffee is their big toe.
The phrase I always dread when folks are trying to fix you up is the much-feared-and-loathed "has a great personality." God forbid I should be superficial but I automatically add "and a face only a mother could love?" I ain't no Barbie lookin for my Ken but... dayum!... I don't wanna have to bag the man's face to be able to stand lookin at him either.
OTOH, I believe there have been times when I've been speaking (to a third party but not potential fixer upper) of a friend or new special someone and described them myself as having a great personality.
Okay... now you've just got me freaked out.
 widowsdesire
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 23
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:05:44 AM

Perhaps it has to do with how people have heard it used but being told one is sweet does not conjure up feelings of romance for me.


Perhaps it has to do with the way the word was used in growing up. My man grew up in south western Kentucky. I think lots of women in the south are referred to as "sweet".
I think he meant it as a real term of endearment.

Out of curiosity dave, what word would you use to describe a woman to conjure up feelings of romance?

As a previous male said in this thread, a woman that is sweet is the kind you would want to take home to mama. How much more romantic can you get than that. Its a term you start to think about when you have moved past the "lust" stage when your first impressions all have to do with sex and getting her into bed. Its the kind of qualities you might want in a person you would want to be around for the long haul.

A Greek friend of mine said there was a Greek expression which loosely translated said that the kind of woman that a man wants to marry has three things she does 1. she takes care of his wallet 2. she takes care of his stomach 3. she takes care of his c0ck. Knowing this Greek expression when my guy said his short list of reasons why I was "everything" he ever wanted in a woman said 1. I was sweet2. I was an incredible cook 3. I had "the touch". Now I would say that my man was pretty much summing up the intention of the Greek expression.

If you look at the post earlier that lists all the dictionary definitions of the word it goes much farther than your examples. The word sweet is the root of "sweetheart", my sweet, to be sweet on. I think there is plenty of romance in the word sweet.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 24
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 11:04:45 AM
I think when a man says you're "sweet" that it means you are.
For most men I think that's a compliment.

Would you prefer to be "a harpy", "shrew", "****" etc.,

Sweet? Always a compliment.

I was sweet when I was young.
Now I think I hear kind, loyal and caring more often than sweet.

But then I no longer consider myself sweet either.
I think sweet must also have some variety of innocent, untouched by reality or logic.
 Michaelann
Joined: 9/11/2004
Msg: 25
He says you're sweet and he means it as a high complement...
Posted: 5/13/2009 11:05:40 AM
Sweet to me means a very kind, loving, truly nice person so how is this not a compliment? - packagedealx3

I totally agree, packagedealx3. To me it would be more of an attraction than a "I'll pass." So I don't totally understand where the OP is coming from. It doesn't have negative
conotations for me, especially in describing a guy.

I remember when I first started dating online I ahd a pretty difficult time describing myself, while writing my profile. I was at my friend's house, she was helping me with it. Her
son comes in (he's a couple years older than my son, who's now 25) & I decided to get a male perspective. I asked Ryan what word he would use to describe me. He thought
about it & said I was "sweet". Then he started blushing & left.
Apparently he had a bit of a crush on me, growing up! ROFLMFAO!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The word sweet is the root of "sweetheart", my sweet, to be sweet on. I think there is plenty of romance in the word sweet.

Exactly!!
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