| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:40:13 PM | As I get older I find myself hesitant to date someone much younger than me but at the same time the range I'm willing to try increases.
Do you feel the same?
What's a reasonable gap for you?
Any exceptional experiences?
I'll start...
I once dated a woman 12 years older and while interesting in the end it didn't develop much because of our differing goals in life. Me an immature 22 year looking for fun times she a liberal woman unsure whether she wanted to remain a bachelor her whole life. | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:47:23 PM | You just answered your own question, it is life stage as well as maturity and similar values and goals.
I have dated two guys 13 years older, one was the type of guy that was doing enough to get by and the other was a CEO and an alcoholic and I didn't want to wait around for him to kill himself.
I have dated younger as well, what tanked the relationship were things other than the age difference. There are younger people more mature than I and much older peope that still think and behave like children.
This also depends on how old the people are. A 35 and 45-year-old are going to see less of a difference than a 22 and 32-year-old. Depending on health, 50 and 60 can be a considerable difference if the younger person is in really good health and the older person had crappy DNA and/or habits that caused early onset of numerous health issues.
My ex-husband was 10 years older, the only time I really noticed it was when a subject would come up, like the year my stepson was born when I was a freshman in high school, usually when an old song came on the radio and I was like still in grade school while he was getting married.
I find myself now to tend to stick closer to my own age but I would probably be more likely to date a larger gap with respect to younger people than older. Some/many of the guys in their late 40s look like they are 60 and I can't get past dating someone that resembles my father right before he died. | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/13/2009 9:13:52 PM | | I will and have dated 10 years in either direction. Still there are other factors to consider. Things like their level of maturity, whether they want to have children of their own or not and how old they act. While a man might very well be a grandfather he doesn't have to act like my grandfather. On the flip side, I am looking for a companion for me not my children so I would expect a certain level of maturity. | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/13/2009 9:19:49 PM | I am willing to try any size gap in the older side, but about 5 years on the younger side.
But as many have stated....what matters is the maturity. Some 70's are as shallow as a teenage high schooler...some mid 30's are mature enough for me. | |
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CalX
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Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 6 | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/13/2009 10:24:43 PM | Two of these thread topics going at the same time..what to do, what to do.....
Oh, what the heck....I think 6 years is a good gap....if he is the older one!
But I'm already 50 man...don't want him too much older! :)
(Now I'll go see how the other guy is doin'.....was this in the news tonight or something?) | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/13/2009 10:51:08 PM | Just answered this on another thread.
One of my husbands was almost 19 years older than I and he passed away or we would probably still be together. My subsequent husband was 10 years younger than I and it ended in divorce, although age was never a problem.
Both marriages occurred when I was in my forties and I think that is an age where you can easily go either way. Today at 58, I prefer the man to be no more than 6 years younger or 6 years older, but that isn't carved in stone. The man I'm with is 4 years older than I and we both think it's perfect. | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 4:17:13 AM | I had a similar experience. My husband was 15 years older than me and passed away when I was 45. He was the best of three husbands so far!
I did find that while we were together I was living in his older age group, which I rather enjoyed.
But when I contemplate dating any of the much younger guys who contact me, like 10 to 20 years younger, I don't want to live in their age group or encourage them to join mine.
In addition, I am not a "Cougar", which I suspect some of the young men might hoping to find.
Certainly enjoying a May - December (or December - May) age difference is contingent upon many things, but there are some practical implications of age difference. | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 7:24:06 AM | | On the net.... even though some girls dont set their mail restrictions so if a guy 32 writes a 24 year old she seems his as creepy... Maybe what you ladies need to do is set your mail restrictions if you are so worried about this kind of stuff | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 7:47:12 AM | Age means nothing to me.
I take the time to get to know someone. Young or old.
I've dated younger women who were incredibly mature and wise.
And I've dated older women who acted like kids.
Everyone's unique. Some people mature faster than others, while some never grow up.
It's a matter of finding someone who matches you.
That doesn't mean they have to be the same as you. Sometimes opposites attract.
And I've been in those "odd couple" relationships, where I'm the mature and thoughtful one, who's balanced by their wild and crazy attitude.
Though, at times, it's been up to me to keep things on the wild side.
Fortunately, I have a nice balance of wisdom and wild. ;)
When you find someone you truly connect with... age doesn't really come into it.
Sure, it can be a preference for some, and that's fine.
And for some people, there are differences in life experience, goals, and outlook.
But that doesn't always have something to do with age.
I've met women in their 40's, some who were serious, and driven. Seeking to settle down, are all family oriented, wanting to just find stability.
While others lived life to its fullest. Always out on the run, traveling, with family being the furthest thing from their mind.
Take the time to know someone for who they are. Simple as that. | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 11:53:23 AM |
18 years old is still pretty much a kid, or do you disagree?
I don't know. I know an 18 year old who's working full time, has her own apartment, and is seeking a serious relationship.
I've know her since she was little. She's always had a rough life. Abusive dad, had to take care of her mom and all. So she has to mature quickly.
You can't really just judge someone by their age. Because you never really know what they've been through. | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 12:53:35 PM | The biggest age gap I have experienced was a 14 years. I was the younger out of us, and surprisingly, age never came up...... until one day in High School, she turned out to be a supply teacher. LOL.
On average though, I would say a 5 year age gap in either direction would make sense. Being on the same stage of life is really what counts, and that usually falls within the normal + or - 5 years | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 1:16:15 PM | I’m attracted to both. I have friends of all ages that I hang out and do things with. I’m a full of life person and with that being said, I want the person that I am eventually involved with to be full of life TOO. It’s not about a “certain” age. I’m 50 and I can hang with the young that’s not a problem. It’s about the individual. I don’t like to be judge because I'm 50 nor would I do that to any age group. It’s all about what we desire or who we connect with. But come on let’s be honest. It’s flattering for a young men to hit on me. Who wouldn’t be. Flirting is ok but that’s where it stays with me. Being in a "relationship" with a 20 or early 30 year old would be ok for now. But let’s get real. Our bodies age. Right now it may not matter but in 10+ more years when I am 60 or older they will be trying to get my underwear UP instead of down!  | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 1:18:50 PM |
The biggest age gap I have experienced was a 14 years. I was the younger out of us, and surprisingly, age never came up...... until one day in High School, she turned out to be a supply teacher. LOL.
Yeah, dating a teacher isn't easy.
At least when I did it, she was the girls' phys-ed teacher, so never a problem of her teaching my classes. LOL! | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 1:38:17 PM | | Dating, short-term relationship, or intimate encounter, perhaps 20 to 25 years difference - it doesn't really matter in that case, does it, if both want it? For anything I wanted to have last, probably the max would be about 10 years - if more than that, I find there's too little in common on which to base a solid relationship (usually). | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 1:58:39 PM | I go with the perv-age rule for men:
- Divide your age by 2 and add seven years.
- If the woman you are dating is younger than that, you're a perv.
Note that this rule doesn't say whether you are a perv in your own eyes or others. That seems to work out well for me, but then I'm not an age perv. Others are, and they should follow the golden rules of all relationships that aren't expected to last:
1. Don't pretend it's anything but sex and games.
2. Leave them in better shape than you found them.
There doesn't seem to be an inverse rule for women, oddly. Well, beyond the school boy prohibition which is really a pedophilia prohibition, not an age gap prohibition. Most cougars should follow the golden rules above too; not every pretty young thing they pick up in bars is completely crass, shallow and only wanting a quick bang. Some of them have feelings too.
Cheers,
Mike (for people that need math help, I don't date women under 30 and I don't date women that need math help) | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 7:13:47 PM | I'm 34. Would date as young as 25. I would date as older as 40.
When I was 29 I dated someone who was 20. I didn't know she was 20 at first and actually thought she was 23ish at first. It was only weird for a minute once I found out her actual age but we ended up having a lot of fun. | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 7:19:15 PM |
Oh, what the heck....I think 6 years is a good gap....if he is the older one!
But I'm already 50 man...don't want him too much older! :)
'Eh, I'm with *best kept secret*^^^ for the most part but would probably only go 5 years older if that. It depends. | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 7:27:02 PM | I've got a 10 year gap both ways. But that's a general thing, also to include that if me and the woman "clicked" fvck the gap. I'm going for it. I'm tired of limiting myself to others standards.
I'm not going to date someone under 18 or someone old enough to be my mom (who's almost 60). But at the same time if a 19 year old mature woman and me clicked I'd go for it as also if me and a 45 year old mature woman clicked I'd go for it as well.
There are general statements about every age group but there are also those "diamonds in the rough" that we all love.
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| Age differences in dating - What's the gap for you?
Posted: 5/14/2009 10:24:29 PM | i met guys in their 30s and they were the most immature, whores, whiney ***holes, liars, introverted, boring people i have ever met. i prefer guys who are 6 yrs older than me. i didn't meet a lot of guys in their 30s, but i met some and none of them i didn't like.
i didnt date these men, but i didn't see a relationship with any of them at all maybe friendship. all they did was complain about working 8 hrs a day, didn't want to have a life, and expected someone to come over to their house and watch movies, then babysit them because they didn't have a life of their own!! i told plenty of them i can see why men ur age are still single and acting like some mama's boy even though they had their own place and a job.
ever since then, ive been nasty to them. i think a lot of them are creepy for me, they scare me. i cringe if one talks to me. im sure someone will tell me that's "generalizing" a whole age group, well thats how i feel. i havent met anyone in the 30s who were so spectacular and who can be a wonderful friend. i don't want to be anyone's babysitter. their lives were 2 boring and way 2 content for me, i wanted fun and adventure, always out and about yet i didn't even get that at all. | |
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