| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 12:04:31 AM | She is very unique, hot with amazing personality. I admire her, want to be her best friend and she means the World to me. I notice that she has difficulty trusting and does not want to commit. She is NOT emotionally available and need more time she says. How long should I wait? Six months? A year?
Please let me know what you think? | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 12:20:54 AM | I think she wants to be your friend, not your lover.
Don't think it will make any difference how long you wait, she's already made up her mind.
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 12:53:29 AM | I'm not sure if you're speaking about being a "best friend" or about a wanting to have a deeper "commitment".....meaning more than just friendship.
This is not about you {even though you may think or want it to be.} She's made it clear that she's not emotionally available. This is all about her ability to take the risk in trusting another person. That will happen only, when she's ready to try. This means that you could be waiting a very long time. It's not anything you can force or rush.
Asking her to place her hands {and trust} into yours is more than she's willing to be able to do right now.
If you feel that she's worth the wait and you have the patience to do so, then don't leave the person who means the world to you. *: )
You're the only one who can answer the question you pose...how long to wait. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 12:54:19 AM | kristallnachte, no offense, but no matter how a person, male or female tries to let the other down it sucks... It sucks because that is NOT what the person wants to hear.
OP, we can't read this girls mind, nor do we know what has happened to her that broke her ability to trust. Perhaps she likes you as a friend, but doesn't have any attraction to you past that. You can wait until you are on your death bed, and it will not change.
Suggestion, stop waiting and find someone that is into you AND is emotionally ready to be with someone... YES, that means you will have to let her go, and the dream that you and she will be together, but the reality is you probably won't be her BF, in this life time... | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:36:55 AM | How long have you been seeing this woman? You *notice* she has difficulties trusting? Based on what? Perhaps she's responsible, cautious or maybe not "available" to you. Advice? Take the calendar down and start respecting her emotional/personal space (she expressed this already). If this relationship is going to progress, it will... in due time, naturally and w/her consent.
Hit *stop* on your stopwatch.  | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 4:08:11 AM | If she was into you that way, she'd be with you.
I bet if another guy comes along that sparks her interest and her lust, she'd be all over him. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 4:56:42 AM | Problem you have here is women and men are not emotionally st\atic beings. Whilst beigng selfish, and armed with all the reasons given by her for him to walk away, she may well change her mind and "get better.
There are plenty of women that look for commitment in strange ways and one of them is exactly this sort of behaviour, or at least the way he treats her is part of her healing process.
Certainly he should walk away and find someone else that is emotionally balanced enough not to be playing these games, letting people get close then pulling away becasue they "can't trust thmselves" etc.
Chances are she will forget about you, put you in a "**stard" box, start chasing you, become even more unhappy. Either way it isnt your problem and you need to move on. Years of living with someone like this will drag you down. If she repairs herself and comes back - great. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 6:02:46 AM | She is NOT emotionally available and need more time she says. How long should I wait? Six months? A year?
Please let me know what you think?
What I think is you are probably Plan B Guy...or just straight up in the friend zone.
She's not emotionally available to YOU, but let the right man come along and she's going to be more than available.
I think you've waited too long already. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 6:35:46 AM | | While she's taking her sweet time, why don't you go out with someone else who IS emotionally available to you. Then you'll forget about Miss Unavailable. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 6:49:33 AM | | Iam kinda going thru that right now. Im not really ready to get emotionally attached either but that doesnt mean Im not open to guys that come my way. I think she may or may not be interested you. If she is she just needs time and that differs with all woman. If she isnt then just apply the no contact rule and move on. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 7:28:18 AM | | One thing to keep in mind here is that some decisions can be one way only. My ex-fiancee just dumped me but offered her friendship. I think she would honour that and be one of my best friends. However, when you get ready for a whole life together, you cross all sorts of emotional lines. She knows more about me than pretty much anybody. We got physically closer than I would with a woman who was just a friend. I've been a lot less conservative with my sense of dignity with her than I ever would be with friends. There are so many things like that. I'd always have a sense of loss and anger; A sense that there should be more here and could have been. There's no real going back to how things could have been had we not commited to be married. If it's just you who wants to move ahead, I would have to recommend not doing that. You have to either wait until she feels ready to take that step or else move on keeping her firmly in the best friend position. Whatever you decide, best of luck to you. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 7:56:56 AM | | As long as it takes - unfortunately there's no timetable for something like that. She'll warm up to you when she does. If you have a limit, wait it out and then move on when you no longer want to wait. No one here can tell you what her timeframe is or what your limit is, we don't know either of you. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 8:29:43 AM | | Nothing good comes to those who wait. As much as you care for her, its best for you to keep on moving forward with out her. So much has to do with timing, as to whether or not it is going to work out or not. The timing here is obviously way off. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 10:08:02 AM | The fact that you are a relationship counsellor makes me wonder why you are asking this question?
It could be that she is ready now but just that you are not the one for her.
It could be six months.
It could be 3 years.
It could be 6 years.
The best thing you can do is respect what she's said and walk away as it pretty much sounds liek you want more than friendship from her.. | |
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| When whould she be emotionally available?
Posted: 5/14/2009 1:23:34 PM | Don't listen to women...do as you are. She may truly be having trust issues. The thing is you're going to the responses you're getting because women don't want to be watched and caught in their own BS. They have no idea what's going on in the womans mind that you've mentioned...i say give as much time as you're WILLING to give.
With that said you said you WANT to be her best friend....do the two of you get along like you'd be best friends? Or is that just something you want? If you're comfortable and solid do just that...carry on as best friends but be sure to touch and flirt nonchalantly...or naturally I should say.
If I listened to these women I'd never talk to a woman under 200lbs with a bad personality...no conversational skills, and severely depressed. With that said I just had THE best date of my life with a woman that would give Halle Berry a run for her money and we clicked ALL the way around. The darn date lasted 9 hours and will be continued next week. | |
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