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 Author Thread: Dating with a broken heart.....
 lsj913

Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 1
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Dating with a broken heart.....
Posted: 5/16/2009 5:21:11 PM
I met the most wonderful man several years ago. We were both in relationships at the time, so we were just friends for six years. After my boyfriend of 13 years finally cheated one too many times, I left him. My friend, had also left his girlfriend. We started dating and it was the most wonderful relationship I had ever had. He was everything I had always wanted in a man. Well, I screwed it up because of my insecurities and my trust issues. He seemed to become distant and I ended it because I was crying every day thinking I was going to lose him. I didn't want to completely lose him so I have tried to remain friends. He is the building manager where I work, so he is around all the time. He also lives right around the corner from me. I know that it is said that being friends with your ex doesn't always work out, but I knew that I would still have to see him so I wanted to make the best of that. He comes in my office every morning and coffee with me. Sometimes he calls and invites me to the driving range, or he will stop by with the puppy that we had adopted together. I am still madly in love with him. He says he is happy being alone.
I have done a lot of research about how to get over a broken heart and some of it says to begin to date to get your mind off him and some of it says not to date until you are completely over him. I think my fear is that I will never get over him. He had such an impact on my life. I don't want to be unfair to a new person, either. Please let me know what you think?
 MizBexReturns

Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 2
Dating with a broken heart.....
Posted: 5/16/2009 5:27:13 PM
Oh Honey, your post brought a tear to my eye.

Nothing and I mean nothing will turn a man off like a woman's insecurity.

And that is what will happen if we date before we are ready. I know this oh so well.

Maybe he is happy, but I think maybe not. I wish I could be more eloquent in my post to you, but sometimes when I feel something so personally and deeply I can't.

Just know if he didn't still have feelings for you, he wouldn't keep spending time with you, as sporadic as it may seem.

Heal my friend, heal first. And the maybe you can try again.
Dating with a broken heart.....
Posted: 5/16/2009 5:28:13 PM
well first off how long was it before you got with him, after the break up with the cheating ex? maybe you didn't give your self enough time to heal! just remain friends with him and if it is meant to be it will happen, but when the timing is all right!
 lsj913

Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 4
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Dating with a broken heart.....
Posted: 5/16/2009 5:52:04 PM
You're right. I didn't have time to heal. It was only a few months after my ex left.
I failed to mention that it has been two years since I lost him. Memorial Day to be exact. I totally should be over him by now.
 candid_1

Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 5
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Dating with a broken heart.....
Posted: 5/16/2009 6:14:01 PM
...it has been two years since I lost him. Memorial Day to be exact. I totally should be over him by now.

It took me almost 5 years to date again after I left my soulmate... I didn't think it fair to compare other men much less other emotions to what I had with him. Unfortunately, I should have used that relationship as a yardstick as far as how it made me feel... the next man - which in a haze of stupidity I married, was nowhere near as good or as healthy a relationship.

If it truly is over, count yourself lucky for having known him and move on. We can have many loves in this life and as long as the next one makes your heart sing - its all good. We learn and grow from those we've touched and been touched by in this life.
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