| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/17/2009 9:04:37 PM | Ok so here's the thing: I work at a small movie theater. Literally it's a 1 screen movie theatre, therefore since there's only one movie going on at a time you can have a lot of down time between shows. I've literally been able to sit around doing nothing (and getting paid  ). This means that anyone who is working the night with me (I'm food service, and on these slow nights I'm the only one up there with any of the imax shift people who actually sell the tickets and clean the theater) I get to know everyone fairly well.
So basically there is this girl that I work with and I think she's pretty nice, and fun to talk to. If she doesn't have to clean anything we might stand and talk for like 5-7 minutes (by then usually a manager does ask her to do something so he doesn't look like a slacker).
She seems like the enjoys talking with me and she does approaching anyways (I technically have to stay behind a counter, lol), but I have no idea whether she is dating someone or not.
So like I've been tempted to ask if she wants to go out sometime, but I have been wrong in the past before where I thought someone was interested in me and later I found out something like they weren't, already in a relationship etc etc.
Now normally if this is just someone I met randomly I could ask them out. If I was denied I'd move on and never see them again, but seeing as I work with her I don't want to create the awkward tension of being wrong.
Thoughts on the matter? | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/17/2009 9:10:43 PM | I think personally, dating a co-worker is not really a good idea. Afterall, you have to work with her.
If you have a falling out with her, things could get really bad or disruptive to your job. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/17/2009 9:29:52 PM | Now normally I agree, and this is why I am a bit skeptical of it in the first place.
However my only other thing I care to point out on that is that I'm 19 and working at a movie theater.
While I'm not saying creating tension is good, the point is I'm not making my career out of this place...well I hope O_O | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/17/2009 11:08:50 PM | I understand that you are not making a career. However, when you are employed, you are establishing your professional resume. This employer will become a reference for you eventual; good or bad.
Dating on the job is very unprofessional and could cause you to have a poor reference for the next job, which could be a career move. Be careful of the choices you make right now, they are examined by your future employers. | |
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jsmi1
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Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 5 | |
| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/17/2009 11:14:12 PM | | Two of my co-workers are dating and usually it seems fine. We are all pretty good friends that have worked there about the same time. They do argue sometimes but other co-workers argue that aren't even dating. So far they've been together about 9 months. I think it's fine if you make your work you number one priority while your at work. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/17/2009 11:38:10 PM | dating in the workplace is generally not a good idea. when it ends (and it usually does end- you're probably not gonna get married), it'll be awkward and someone will probably want to quit. do you not mind finding another job when this happens? it could be several months or it could be 1 or 2 dates.
also, if you ask her out and she is seeing someone, that's another awkward stumbling block- you'll see her every day at work and be the dork who asked the taken chick out. i'd do a little asking around to find out if she's single, first, romeo =) | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/17/2009 11:52:54 PM | No question has to be awkward. It's all in how you ask.
Me: "So any hot dates for the weekend?"
Her:
- If she's interested, she'll definitely say something like "No, no - Man, I haven't been on a date in a long time!"
- If she is dating but is still interested, she may be a little flustered with her response and that's a good sign for you.
- If she's not interested, she won't have much to say to that question, but you haven't lost anything. Heck, you could be more blatant and ask "So, are you a single girl or what?" and you still haven't offended her or caused tension in the workplace - It's just a simple question, yet still a powerful step towards the conversation you really want to have.
You get a lot of information back from a simple, completely risk-free question - If you just know how to listen! The worst that can happen is her answer is "Yes, my fiance is flying me to his Hawaiian mansion for the weekend!", and you get to move on with your life.
Never just sit back and let life happen to you, or you'll always be losing out! | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/18/2009 7:55:22 AM | Well it seems like you two can have a meaningful conversation. Build on that. Approach it like she was a friend of yours. Ask her if she wants to go grab a quick bite to eat or drink after your shifts. Nothing like a "date" but a couple of friends getting together for a drink and then take it from there.
If she says thanks but she's meeting her boyfriend then there you go, nothing lost, everything gained. | |
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Romny
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Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 10 | |
| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:04:11 AM | Just say, "hey, we should go out for coffee sometimes".... keep it light... see how she responds.
Dating a girl from work at your age...is no big deal... it's not like you're gonna be at this low paying job forever... you're prolly a student... it's a transitional place for ya.. so don't sweat it. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:42:58 AM | I'm a firm believer of not dipping your pen in the company ink, but you are 19 selling popcorn in a one screen movie theater. Hardly a career choice in the scheme of things.
Ask her out for coffee after your shift, see what happens. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/18/2009 1:39:18 PM | | Probably a bad idea. At the very least try to get transferred to another department ... or leave, get another job, then ask her out. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/18/2009 3:30:31 PM | When I was 19 I dated alot of girls that i worked with. i worked at a retail store. Some dates went great, some sucked and some girls turned me down. No matter what happened I never had any blowouts at work about it. Now I didn't talk to some of them again at work but so what.
People are so paranoid about work relationships. Ask her out and no matter what happens keep things civil and you are good to go. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/18/2009 3:36:34 PM | ^While you did have an experience that didn't do any real harm, some work relationships don't end quite so easily.
I'd recommend not to, but of course to the OP it's your judgment call in the end. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/18/2009 3:56:48 PM | | When your younger go for it, nothing is ever lost. Just dont feel totally let down if it doesnt work out. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/18/2009 4:27:40 PM | | Normally i'd say no and i'll tell you why in just a little while,but i don't see any harm in asking her if she's dating someone and if so,you can still be friends,if she isn't she'll probably go out with you. I've dated a woman (well we were FWB)on the job and i eventually went out with another woman and it was so much drama at the job! Sometimes i didn't want to go to work because i had to see the 1st woman all day and she tried to make my life miserable by cussing me in the presence of others and even tried to get me fired! I didn't get fired and to this day,she want to be my friend again! I learned my lesson to never get your money and your honey at the same place! | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/18/2009 4:33:54 PM | | dating in the workplace is a no no. But then again if you have nothing to lose go for it. But career wise I wouldn't. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/19/2009 12:55:08 PM | | "i don't see any harm in asking her if she's dating someone" sure theres harm.. If she doesnt find you attractive she could very well go to HR and file a complaint for sexual harrasment... | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/19/2009 2:28:08 PM | OP I would ask her but not ask her at the same time if you are interested.. Just ask her something like "So how come I never see your bf picking you up or something?" If she is single she would most def say it, if she isn't she would say something about her bf, if she is not single but have a bf, she would mention it but at least you would know. This way no one gets hurt, you asked her but not asked her at the same time its a win win really. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/19/2009 7:18:33 PM | The answer to this question is a resounding "Not a good idea"!
Keep your personal life and work life, separate. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/19/2009 11:06:30 PM |
If she doesnt find you attractive she could very well go to HR and file a complaint for sexual harrasment...
I wouldn't imagine she'd go so far as filing a complaint against you. She'd have a valid case against you only if you continue to pursue her long after she's said 'no.' If it were me, I'd invite her to coffee after mine and her shift. It's not anything too outrageous like the carnival or romantic like a candlelit dinner. I'm not proposing to her; I'm just offering my camaraderie over coffee. If she's taken, woo-hoo, I made a friend. If she's available, woo-hoo, I made a girlfriend.
Also, the way I'd question her of her availability... I'd try to somehow weave it into conversation and not make an event out of it. For example, I'd make her laugh by making a joke. We would be talking already, then I'd say, "PLEASE tell me you have a boyfriend." I know, counterintuitive, right? But when she says, "Yes, I have a boyfriend," I can respond, "That's not hard to believe, as cute as you are." (you can insert any positive or complimentary adjective you feel is appropriate for her) Or, if she says, "No, actually I don't have a boyfriend," I would raise an eyebrow and say, "Nuh-uh! As cute as you are? We'll have to fix that!" All the while I'd be wearing a mischievous smile.
Then again, you're not me, so my technique may not coincide with your sense of humor or style. Hope this post at least gave you an idea how to bring it up, but keep in mind that you can only be you. Chicks dig self-confidence. BTW, don't think of her as a threat, a date, or even as a woman. Instead, think of her as a friend, and everything else should fall into place. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/20/2009 1:50:36 AM | "I learned my lesson to never get your money and your honey at the same place!"
there's another good saying:
never sh*t where you eat.
you get the idea. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/20/2009 8:42:26 AM | **Clarification alert**
He's 19, working the popcorn stand at a one-screen movie theatre. He could sleep with the manager (or the manager's wife) and I'll wager it wouldn't have the slightest impact on his future career.
Go for it, and have fun! | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/20/2009 8:55:10 AM | Everything sounds great...until one of you dumps the other, then have to make it into work the next day. That part doesnt sound fun.
Just look at every possible outcome, and make sure you could still show your face at work afterwards is all. Yes, the job can be replaced if things get dicey, but todays economy may mean it could take a bit of time before finding another job. | |
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| Dating in the workplace?
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:26:50 PM | Thanks for the responses all, and lobo that is kind of where I was heading anyways tbh.
I think I just needed someone to hit me over the head and say go for it :P
Oh and just an fyi: The manager is actually dating a co-worker too. I could go the whole 9 yards, sleep with a co-worker and his gf 
What can I say, when I go for it all, I play for keeps. | |
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