| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:19:54 PM | I've been dating a girl that I met here, and over the weekend we had "the talk" and made things official. Neither of us are interested in anyone else and we both agreed that we're exclusive.
I deleted my original profile a while back (I made this profile to use on the forums), not because I thought we were exclusive, but because I wasn't having much luck on this site otherwise and I was ready to give the online dating thing a rest if things didn't work out with this girl.
Her profile is still active, and I'm curious about a good way to bring this up and tell her that since we're exclusive, I'd rather she deactivated her account. I know she's not on her computer much, so maybe it's just something she hasn't gotten around to doing since we only made things official a few days ago. How do I bring this up without coming across as snoopy? I know communication is key, but I don't want her to think I'm always checking up on her or that I don't trust her. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:24:11 PM | | Well you have an active profile that indicates you are looking for women for dating and your worried about her profile? | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:24:33 PM |
Her profile is still active, and I'm curious about a good way to bring this up and tell her that since we're exclusive, I'd rather she deactivated her account.
Why are you wanting her off POF if you're going to remain? Isn't what's good for you good for her also?
You have no right wanting her off if you are remaining........Gadddddssss Dayum guy!!!!! | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:27:21 PM | | I'll ask her about it tonight after our date if you would like. | |
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| Rather than asking her why she hasn't deleted her profile...
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:29:12 PM | ...ask her if she has.
If she says "yes", you've gain some very valuable insight.
If she says "no", ask her why not.
If she says "why do you ask", tell her how you feel.
No need to be afraid to communicate...and no need to tell her that you have been "checking up on her"
ETA: Yeah, you have little credibility with a profile that says you are looking for dating. Change it to "talk/email" | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:30:19 PM |
How do I bring this up without coming across as snoopy?
You don't.
I know communication is key, but I don't want her to think I'm always checking up on her or that I don't trust her.
Then stop checking up on her. | |
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| Rather than asking her why she hasn't deleted her profile...
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:34:34 PM | I have the same problem also, I only created this one to post to the forums after deleting mine. He has hidden his, we are exclusive for over a year. But why hasn't he deleted his? I've struggled with this delimma, and it's driving me crazy. He said way back otptions, somethigs don't work out over time. I think that is a load of BS.
When will men ever get serious..........................................................................this is online carshoppping. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:37:29 PM | | Don't make it seem like your asking her to delete hers. Let her know that you have a profile specifically for forums...get her feed back and she may just do the same. I would definitly change the status on what your looking for from dating to ??? whatever makes sense. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:39:04 PM | | By the way, if there weren't any trust issues than why are we doing this, because the people were with cvan't be trusted especially from hwere!!!~!! If they ere straightforwaerd and upfront and took their profile off (as we originallely did) and we could trust them, then this wouldn't be happening right? | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:44:55 PM | | I'm on here for the forums too. But, yours says you're here for dating. You can block just about everyone from contacting you as I have and you don't have to put that you're interested in dating. I would make some changes, if thats what you really want, before talking to her about anything. | |
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Landra
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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:47:26 PM | Commu
ni
cation!
Say something like, "I'm going to delete my POF account, since we're exclusive. Is that something you've thought about, too?" | |
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| Rather than asking her why she hasn't deleted her profile...
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:48:17 PM | POF IS an addiction, IMO, Ive been saying it for a long time. Whether you visit for the forums or to find someone better. Maybe "just to see what is out there" or whatever other reason. I believe its hard for people to stay away.
DR, follow e n sea's advice and change your "looking for". | |
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toyoux
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Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 14 | |
| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:51:36 PM | This thread is kinda funny to me and very timely. I just fell over the cliff with someone on here and we tease each other about still being here.............."So, are you on POF looking for a good woman/man?"............."Yes"............
I have NO insecurity (at ALL) about him being here nor he me. I WAS going to delete and even started a thread about it. But I'd miss the people I talk to privately (though we've exchanged real life information). However, I'd miss the posts that REALLY PISS ME OFF...................like the one I last responded to!
Ya just gotta know how to pick 'em! | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:56:51 PM | Rock Man,
you said: "i'll ask her about it tonight after our date if you would like"
now that's funny......thanks for the laugh | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:58:01 PM | | Hope she wakes up and dumps your @ss Dr. Looking for *Dating*. Amazing what holes complain about! | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:00:27 PM | You're exclusive? As in "a couple?" And it's only been a couple of days since you two decided to be exclusive? And you both have profiles here and you're worried about her having one?
How about this: Sit down with her and discuss it? You could start with something like, "Honey, I was just thinking about something. What should WE do about OUR PoF profiles? Or maybe "Well sweetie, I'm officially off the market - I changed my PoF profile to 'spoken for' (or whatever)." | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:00:49 PM | OP - why is it a big issue to delete your profiles? Why can't both of you just go in and check all the filters so no one can contact you??? And change your status, about me, blah blah blah. If you aren't sure how it should look, go look at mine. Unless i've emailed you before, you aren't getting through fort knox!
Trust extends out to the internet ya know.... what's next, you're gonna start asking her to stay off the internet too??
If you're here just for the forums, then why can't she be? | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:01:15 PM |
now that's funny......thanks for the laugh
I'd ask her now but her mouth is full, so nows not a time for asking questions and chatting about him!
But hey it's ok, she's only on it because of the forums! | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:07:41 PM | Last person who asked me to delete my profile knew that I was a POF co-host for montreal parties and needed one to work; but as I loved her and understood her feelings, I deleted mine....only to found out later that she had 47 different active profiles over 23 dating sites and under various names and nicks and was recruiting men all over canada and US.....for cash and papers.
Oh she still here somewhere I bet, looking for another fish to bait....
ROFL... | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:15:44 PM | Rock Man,
sorry, didn't mean to interrupt.......carry on, carry on as rock man strokes her hair.... | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:32:14 PM |
I have the same problem also, I only created this one to post to the forums after deleting mine. He has hidden his, we are exclusive for over a year. But why hasn't he deleted his? I've struggled with this delimma, and it's driving me crazy. He said way back otptions, somethigs don't work out over time. I think that is a load of BS.
When will men ever get serious..........................................................................this is online carshoppping.
And what make/model/year are you shopping for? You're still here ~ and active because you posted this quote today. Pot met kettle.
~OP~ My former SO deleted his account long before we lived in the same house together. I have never deleted mine, nor was it in "hidden" mode when he and I were together. Although he did have my password at the time, I don't believe he ever used it. He had NO need to, he knew he had no need to. His pictures were in my profile, it clearly stated "not single/not looking" and there was a bold/italic sentence which clearly stated I was here to post in forums and chat with friends. When you sneak around with fake profiles, there's a reason to be suspicious because you yourself are doing something sneaky. You project your own issues on the other party. Sit her down, show her this profile, tell her about this thread and let the chips fall. Otherwise, keep being sneaky and wondering why she's (in your opinion) not doing her part to be exclusive. JMO  | |
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toyoux
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Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 24 | |
| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:46:18 PM | Msg. 24, Verygreen: Hmmmmmm.........you've made me think it might be fun for me and my new cowboy to post a "together" pic! I think it'd be fun to make people feel ill! I don't have one of me on here...........but he does. That may actually be the absolute best most wonderful advice on how to REALLY be "on here for the forums only"! THANKS!  | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:48:22 PM | so why come on the net and tell 1000's of people here ??
have the " talk " tell her.. it is looking like you are being just a bit sneaky
Whats her screen ame ?? | |
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