| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:25:18 AM | Why do some people bother coming on this site?
Lately this forum seems to be full of men who are anti women, dont like women drinkers, dont like female slappers, british women are all drunken slags who get their bits out on line etc. Then there are the women who say all the men are playas, theyre all liars, only after one thing etc etc etc.
There are some nice men and women here in the forums, and at various meets i've been too.
so this is my question..
Why come somewhere and do nothing but whine? you wouldn't do that in your local would you? its rather off putting to have someone be so miserable or/and judgemental all the time - do you think it makes you look better than everyone else? as if YOU personally have higher standards? whats makes you think YOURE so special and everyone else online is some kind of desperado?
Why do you think people behave this way? as if they are entitled to some kind of wonder woman/man when they offer little in return but critisism. Are we expecting too much?
Discuss... please don't delete this is a serious question.
its not att seeking/pity/spam/chat or been done before.
LOL@Williaz - I DID THINK IM BEING SLIGHTLY HYPROCRITICAL HERE complaining about people complaining lol
Its not meant to be a man v woman thread either its about people in general. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:32:35 AM | Not been here on pof long but have seen what you mean, but unfortunatly it appears to be part and parcel of online forums.
Having been involved with chat rooms and forums for more years than I can remember there have always been people like that on them.
The people who are like that to me are just here to annoy others and try and belittle people who do not deserve it.
Why do people have the right to judge others on line?
I don't think we should judge people who we have never met and just go by what they put online forums etc | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:34:25 AM | Sexual frustration if you ask me, may i suggest a pof forum orgy to work it all out?  | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:34:33 AM | I think even though we dont mean to judge others we tend too, either by behaviour or a series of photos. I think its understanding what we're doing rather than making assumptions is the key to changing that behaviour.
lol Shabba ;) then we'd all be the slags they speak of. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:49:24 AM | Hahaha Dee, we know it's because they aren't as seasoned as some and therefore haven't realised that so many treat is as a sweetie shop. They want a partner and they want one now!
We all know how genuine and serious we are, it's just hard to find someone who ticks the right boxes and lives close enough to have a relationship with.
There are some nice men and women here in the forums, and at various meets i've been too.
I agree, but we are geographically challenged, aren't we? | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:51:59 AM | I'm sure that there are people of both sexes who sign up to this site believing that its a magic pathway to an instant perfect partner/fcukbuddy, all they have to do is tick a few boxes and its all gonna happen, cos after all they are perfect themselves in every way!
Unfortunately they quickly realise that there are normal everyday folks of all ages, shapes, sizes and of varying degrees of beauty/handsomeness with their own hobbys, habits and dispositions, and then the toys come flying out of the pram, they either troll like mad or start woe is me threads, rather than having a few days reading the forums and gaining a basic understanding of how things work.
I must admit though, its been quite prolific these past few days, makes me wonder how many multi-profiles are at work. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:53:41 AM | we are geographically challenged, aren't we?
I know exactly where I am...
I'm sure that there are people of both sexes who sign up to this site believing that its a magic pathway to an instant perfect partner/fcukbuddy, all they have to do is tick a few boxes and its all gonna happen
You mean it doesn't happen like that? I want my money back! Oh erm... | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:55:35 AM | I've been on the forums a while now, the dogmatic condemning rude approach by others have left it wanting. I visit the events and sports forum mainly, unless i am ultra bored. Today an essay on dissociative identity disorder isn't thrilling me.
The banter between some of the older members managed to maintain a humour while posting without it being seen as sarcasm or rude. This was shown though regular postings from such people. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:57:38 AM | Yep, loads of trolls and people who obviously have more than one profile and post in the style of one while under another name. Expecting that no one will notice.
Fat bashing threads, all men are threads, all women are threads, 2 threads up at the moment on why women are all arrogant stuck up ****es.
Single mums, people from sink estates etc etc and then you look at the profiles and see that people profess to be nice, kind, looking for love when they refer to other people as scum on a regular basis. Another thread that thanks to some copying and pasting looks like a BNP election leaflet.
Tolerance seems to be in short supply at the moment. | |
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Pud78
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Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 10 | |
| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:06:38 AM | I think part of the problem is the apathy of the people who use the forums a lot and a sense of 'here we go again' and 'this has been done before' with a lot of the threads that are started about the frustrations that come with internet dating. The problem is it can be a real knock in confidence sending mails and no replies, making the effort with no results and they get frustrated as they do not understand internet dating especially on a free site as purely by its size you will struggle to stand out and be different.
How many ways are there to write an individual mail to every person that they are amused and interested in that person?
We are a naion of moaners and whingers and enjoy it but soon get bored when it is all the time and rather polarised form one persons perspective especially when they do not talking about. People who join internet dating and then moan about the lack of success 3 days later really haven't the experience to really form an opinion and can only speak of their experience which is usually bad so is just negative and whingeing.
i personally love complaining and whingeing and enjoy a platform where I can get it of my chest but a public forum is not the place for that as you have to listen to others problems too and if I am honest I do not give a rats arse about their moans, selfish? Yes. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:06:49 AM | | It has been rather prolific of late, not sure why. It's annoying and childish in the extreme to behave they way on the forums and then have them send you mail to explain themselves as being a nice guy really who is just misunderstood. Paulinemab said about you go to their profiles and they are saying they are wonderful kind people yet they get onto the forums and turn into major a~holes. Oh well, makes the day go faster at times. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:10:54 AM |
I've been on the forums a while now, the dogmatic condemning rude approach by others have left it wanting.
I used to be one of those people although Ive calmed down/chilled out a lot lately lol but at least I know my faults.
I think part of the problem is the apathy of the people who use the forums a lot and a sense of 'here we go again' and 'this has been done before' with a lot of the threads that are started about the frustrations that come with internet dating.
I'd agree with that and the approach to deleting everything because they've seen it all before, what about the new people who haven't? why should they be expected to thread search back 2 yrs as i've seen a thread that old be raised as "its already been done" thats just pathetically pedantic.
I reckon we just need a little more positivity and a bit less anger/hate/dillusionment. | |
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*kath*
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Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 13 | |
| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:13:14 AM |
Why come somewhere and do nothing but whine?
I can only presume it is because they have been told to wind their fecking necks in by everyone around them in real life.
Some people are born to moan and be bitter about everything,great tool for avoidance though. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:14:12 AM |
I'd agree with that and the approach to deleting everything because they've seen it all before, what about the new people who haven't? why should they be expected to thread search back 2 yrs as i've seen a thread that old be raised as "its already been done" thats just pathetically pedantic.
I agree 100% not everyone has been here since god was a wee boy. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:15:12 AM | Very often on this Forum individuals display distrust of members of the opposite sex (sometimes bordering on hatred).
Things tend to become polarised between 'for' and 'against' and this only encourages the extreme to express their views.
When writing it is easy to be misunderstood and often (by not giving enough thought to the topic) individuals argue about something taken completely out of context and this causes offence, leading often to personal insults.
With regards to being judgemental, can we reasonably avoid this? I think it would be difficult.....
For example, I would consider it impossible to answer the question posed by OP without being judgemental, because within the question the OP has suggested assumptions we make and has asked that we comment on them...
Does a person who complain do it to make themselves look superior? look better than others? consider themselves to have higher standards? think themselves special? considers others to be desperados?...........
It is extremely difficult to answer this without appearing to agree with the assumptions or to disagree with them.
This certainly isn't a criticism in any way of OP, I'm just pointing out the general difficulties we have in Forums.
As for whining.... the Forum is an acceptable place to do this (though hopefully not all the time!) | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:18:44 AM | For example, I would consider it impossible to answer the question posed by OP without being judgemental, because within the question the OP has suggested assumptions we make and has asked that we comment on them...
Does a person who complain do it to make themselves look superior? look better than others? consider themselves to have higher standards? think themselves special? considers others to be desperados?...........
It was worded to make it difficult :) I wanted certain people on here to stop and think how they might be coming across I'm not going to name names but there are a couple of people here who do nothing but berate the opposite sex yet say they are actively looking and then moan they cant find anyone who fits their criteria, and i want to shout at them "your posts appear on your profile, youre coming across as a judgemental whiney pri.ck because for the last few months thats all you've done and you wonder why women aren't replying to your mails" lol.
This wasnt aimed at ONE person more a TYPE.
Also we like to be thought of as fair minded and open yet a lot rarely act that way particularly when their ideas are challenged, is that insecurity?
However, am sick to the back of my teeth of new threads regarding size of women/extra few pounds et al that seem to crop up every week, as they have been done recently and to death!
I rarely get involved in that these days as the persons argument is usually "you would say that because youre fat" im not here to support every larger lady just myself and my own opinions, yet that always gets thrown in the mix, ridiculous really. I did respond yesterday out of frustration and enjoyed putting a couple of posters in their place i must admit. Does that make me superior? lol | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:18:49 AM |
I'd agree with that and the approach to deleting everything because they've seen it all before, what about the new people who haven't? why should they be expected to thread search back 2 yrs as i've seen a thread that old be raised as "its already been done" thats just pathetically pedantic.
I reckon we just need a little more positivity and a bit less anger/hate/dillusionment.
Amen to that!
As for 'newbies' starting threads - I do agree they should search a bit further than the first page showing, but having to go back more than 18 months and then to be greeted with 'Already been done in 2003' is not very friendly.
I personally find it a bit strange threads from pre-2007 are being resurrected, it's not as if everyone can exactly remember what was said.
However, am sick to the back of my teeth of new threads regarding size of women/extra few pounds et al that seem to crop up every week, as they have been done recently and to death!
Aw shucks, now I'm complaining! | |
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Joe1uk
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Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 18 | |
| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:33:42 AM | I think most people who moan and complain do so in the hope that the people they're moaning and complaining about will see what they're doing and change, just like the you hope the people that you are moaning and complaining about for moaning and complaining will see what they are doing and that it may put prospective partners off and will stop their moaning and complaining.
Can one person change the world? a single pebble can cause an avalanche. So I say moan and complain away cos if people don't know it's broke they won't fix it. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 6:17:24 AM | I don't know if I am one of those "in your sights" on this thread, because I have made one or two comments recently concerning the behaviour of some posters. My main problem is that some people just do not seem to think before they speak.
To try to stop innocent little threads just because they are boring or have been done before is one example. So what, of all the nasty things going on in the world, surely there are some rules that do not have to be rigidly enforced.
To try to throw a dampener on a thread of interesting discussion about politics just because it doesn't interest you just seems childish. If it doesn't interest you, pass it by - why make any comment at all.
And whilst spelling, or lack of correct spelling drives me up the wall (and quite frequently I spell words wrong, because I have tried the Times Spelling Bee, and rarely get an all correct round) what is far worse in my mind is those that try to bring attention to those who do not spell too well, and introduce spelling mistakes of their own whilst being all righteous.
And it seems that quite a few posters will constantly turn any thread into one where they can throw in any reference to swearing, body parts, bodily functions in some school ground kind of way. Once again, I can assure you I am no angel, and enjoy a swear now and again, enjoy the rudest of jokes etc, but before I talk like that in public I would want to know that those who will hear (see) me talk will find it acceptable. Most people who resort to that kind of behaviour have no idea who will see what they have written and who will be alienated from the forums because of the behaviour.
So tolerance yes, but tolerance in all its forms, not just in the ones that you want to improve. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 7:07:41 AM | I don't know if I am one of those "in your sights" on this thread, because I have made one or two comments recently concerning the behaviour of some posters
No you weren't but if you had been i'd have no hesitation in telling you and why, i'm very direct like that lol
It was more aimed at the forum in general that the new breed of posters we seem to have attracted arent very happy with the men and women on this site who fail to live up to their spectacularly high standards, after all no one is perfect
Tolerance can only come from realising youre imperfect yourself, minor things like text speak annoy me so i wont reply to those kinds of messages we all have things that flick our buttons or not, but it seems stupid to come to the forums and whine and debase the opposite sex then expect women or men to reply to your messages when everything you say here is repeated under your profile, calling women whorish, drunken sluts, skanks chavs, all british women are like Vicky Pollard etc and the various anti male and anti female comments that have been thrown around the last few days are attached to your profile. Make those kinds of comments and as some of the men are finding out it comes back to bite you on the arse. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 8:18:57 AM | In simple terms dlg, if everyone ignored the moaners then they would soon find somewhere else to go.
This is simply something for the 20th century whereby sitting on a computer ****ing or on the end of text messaging is an easier way than dealing with real life.
As i think you already said, those particuler people wouldn't do that in a public place because they know the consequences but easy to do sitting behind a monitor.
Seriously, never lower yourself to their level and just ignore. It works with kids so it works for adults who behave like kids. trust me! | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 8:49:53 AM | There is a case to be made for the current increase is nastiness to be down to the upcoming elections.
really? I was thinking its the pain from piles or constipation due to being sat on my ass reading a forum all day. | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:00:58 AM | | Surely the point of a forum is to discuss things that people are at odds with? | |
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| Complaining and Moaning..
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:03:04 AM | How you feeling now OP? Better?
I don't know why people complaining all the time.. Perhaps its part of the British culture? Complaining and moaning about everything and anything just to have something to do..
About the weather.. about their jobs.. about women on this site and their jollonggas on display.. women and their too small tits on display.. About men complaining about women.. yadda yadda yadda..
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv SHOULD YOU MISSING SOMETHING?
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