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Posted: 5/21/2009 6:07:47 PM | | This is my third try at a profile, please tell me what u think. I got fed up and deleted allot, and just did favorite movies/books. Think that will draw more interest, and if its woman reading this, do you think I should keep the beard? ;) | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 6:16:02 PM | Hmm... I think I smell a faint hint of desperation...
"OK this is my 3rd try at a profile"
Don't tell me this! You sound pitiful and now I'm thinking... if he didn't get any responses before, what is wrong with this guy?
Listing you favorite book and movie... good idea. Not telling me anything about who you actually are or what you a looking for... not a good idea. I wish I had seen the previous two profiles because I imagine they would have had a little more depth. It's okay to share a little of yourself; some won't like it and others will, but that is the point.
I would also rotate those pictures and add a full body one.
Shaving the beard would probably make you look younger... what age bracket of women are you trying to appeal to? That should help. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 6:22:37 PM | | Well ok first profile was short didn't say much, the second one was really long and I actually had one woman tell me she didn't even bother reading it. I guess i'll delete beginning and put in bit bout myself. Thank you very much for info. I am looking for woman around 25-40 so not sure about the beard. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 6:27:16 PM | Your profile is awesome if we were joining a movie or book club; however, we are on a dating site.
You need at least three paragraphs - one telling us about you as a person (traits, quirks - give examples) one telling us about your interests, and one describing the qualities you are seeking in a partner. Of course, if you want to give more information -please do but these three paragraphs are crucial for a successful profile.
Stay away from fluff and filler information.
Revise and come back.
I like the beard. :-) | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 6:33:11 PM | Thank you :)
I changed it try that, I put bit bout myself and what I was looking for. Thanks by the way, I am not so good at this, and the advice helps so much. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 6:37:03 PM | | I still don't know if our personalities will clash. Talk to me. Entice me. Make me want to write you. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 6:48:23 PM | | Try that, or you think I should get rid books/movies all together? I kinda like them though lol. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 6:52:18 PM | Much better. No, keep the list of movies and books. It will give someone something to write you about.
You still haven't told us about your personality. We have no idea if we'd want to hang out with you. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 7:03:50 PM | | Okay please try that one, I hope that doesn't end up being to much tho, that's the problem I had in beginning :/ | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 7:25:13 PM | You need to flip your pictures around so that we don't have to bend our head to look at them.
Again, you gave us a lot of information, but you still don't tell us about your personality. We still don't know if we would want to hang out with you. You say you are shy, but that changes quickly as you get to know someone. That is all you have said.
You have a couple of spelling errors.
take care of bunch of cottages right on the beech,
beech -> beach
There is park not to far, its great spot to go for walks.
There is a park not too far. It is a great spot to go for walks.
activity's in the summer,
activities
I plan on allot of fishing this summer,
a lot
What kind of person do you enjoy being friends with? Do you enjoy being around someone loud and boisterous, or mellow and low-key? Do you want a friend who wants to play sports, or read a book with you? | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 7:39:42 PM | | LOL ok I think that was like the 5th edit, so far. I guess i really needed the help ty Lilly. I hope this is last, what do you think? | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 7:50:32 PM | | I changed the pictures to, I will try to get full body one. Thankou very much for your input :) | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 7:53:53 PM | | I recommend using the second picture as your primary. It is bright and you look great in blue. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 7:57:38 PM | | Awesome thank you, I wish u lived in North Bay ;) | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 8:02:05 PM | | You are most welcome. I would never make it up north. *wink* | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 8:08:43 PM | Copy and paste this into your profile. You definitely need paragraphs.
Hi how's it going? I have traveled all my life. I was born Thunder Bay and moved to Nigeria when I was 2, and haven't really stopped since. I want to settle down here, I have family here and like the town.
I live and take care of bunch of cottages right on the beach, the view in winter or summer is unrivaled. There is park not too far; it is a great spot to go for walks. I take our family dog there regularly.
I can be bit of a shy guy, but that changes quickly as I get to know a person. I'm not looking for anything crazy just friends to start, but I am looking for something solid in the end.
I am an explorer at heart and am always interested in something new. I really want to get to know the area. I plan on a lot of fishing this summer, as well as hiking and berry picking, if you know any good spots for blue berries or raspberries please let me know.
Here are my favorite books/movies let me know if they're some of yours too. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 8:17:26 PM | | Perfect thank you, lol I hope that gets bit more interest. I hope that doesn't end up being to long tho. I think its good tho :) thx again. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 8:35:03 PM | If you are concerned it makes your profile too long write your lists in paragraph form.
My few of my favorite books are: The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay, Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordon, Red Dwarf, Taita series by Wilbur Smith ( amazing books about Egypt in the time of Pharaohs. I recommend reading it.), Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy created by Douglas Adams, Gunslinger series by Stephen King and Cloud Of Sparrows by Takashi Matsuaka. It is a really good book about the last Samurai.
My favorite movies are: The Power of One, The Island, Bourne Idenity/Supremacy/Ultimatum, Space Balls, Lethal Weapon (all of them), Ghost Busters, Gladiator and Brave Heart. | |
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Posted: 5/21/2009 9:48:39 PM | Damn Lily!
You should be a profile writer!
(and I am being serious, you are very helpful...)
G.
Good luck out there dish/tinker.... | |
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Posted: 5/22/2009 6:15:55 AM | | Ya you have no idea, my profile started as mt fav movies books, now its actually not to bad. Lily did all that, you really think I should put movies/books into paragraphs? | |
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Posted: 5/22/2009 6:16:48 AM | | Thank you you two man. | |
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Posted: 6/8/2009 11:58:30 AM | Lily, Ruckus is right, you are very good!
Maybe you could help me, with not only my profile but I have a really hard time writing emails to girls too. I'm not sure what to say on them. I am a lot more comfortable talking to someone in real life rather than sending them an email.
If you would help I would appreciate it and I am sure i'm not the only guy who isn't good at writing emails so you would be able to help more than just me. I guess what I am looking for is some kind of icebreaker to start to email and then should I talk about them and how our interests coincide or tell about myself and what I like to do. If I tell about myself I think its kind of weird because they could just look at my profile, ya know?
Pleas help if you would! | |
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Posted: 6/8/2009 12:07:55 PM | ^^^^ My recommendation:
LilyVee, LLC.
Company Profile: A Georgia Limited Liability Company, which assists with and occasionally prepares in full, all aspects of the POF email process, including drafting of appropriate and eye-catching headers, the tailoring of substantive content, and appealing response-generating hook questions. A subsidiary of LilyVee Worldwide, Inc., parent corporation. All rights reserved. | |
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Posted: 6/8/2009 12:26:07 PM |
I take our family dog there regularly.
OP, this immediately triggered some questions in my mind, and I can imagine it would be a red flag for some. "Our family dog." Since your profile says you're single with no children, what's the family? Who is included in "our"? | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 9:27:05 PM | *Bump*
So Tinker, how goes the battle?
And Lillyvee, any thoughts on your new venture?
Greg
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