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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > How much texting is too much after the first few dates?      Home login  
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 anthonyalan
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 1
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?Page 1 of 1    
Can someone explain the etiquette to me? How much is too much contact? Recently I got scolded by a girl for texting to much. That kind of hurt my feelings and after that I kind of distance myself from her. I'm kind of shy and texting comes easier to me then phone calls. So after the first date when I wanted to talk to her I'd send her texts everyday or other day to say hi and carry on conversations and see how she was doing. Apparently she found that creepy. Is that just her or are you supposed to be really distant at first? Did I come off clingy by doing that? What do you ladies think is the appropriate amount of contact. I want to show interest and converse with the girls I want to date, but I don't want to be annoying!
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 2
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How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/21/2009 8:46:35 PM
Let her set the pace. Wait for her to text you, then text her back. once in a while don't answer one right away. Do that for a couple of times and you will see how often she likes contact.

Texting, I thought that was what the teenage girls did. Maybe call her next time.



===========================================================

BBW@2LOVE

"when properly wielded you could bash a man's head in with the receiver"

I noticed you said a "mans" head and not a persons head. I got my eyes on you.
 BBW2Love
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 3
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/21/2009 8:48:02 PM
I can't explain it because I am a luddite. I have a land line and a rotary phone. It weighs eight pounds. when properly wielded you could bash a man's head in with the receiver. Not that I would, but I have seen it done in old movies.

I know this has been no help, but try to get over your shyness about actually speaking to the people you are dating. It is a good goal.
 anthonyalan
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 4
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/21/2009 9:08:09 PM
Texting is pretty common with the 20 somethings, its not just for girls!
 missinghimalready
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 5
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/21/2009 9:17:19 PM
after the first date or two, texting is annoying, in the same amount of time it takes to text, you could just simply pick up the phone and talk.

just my $.02
 cb994266
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 6
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/21/2009 9:27:33 PM
I agree with BBW2Love. Even though I love the freedom of having a cell phone, I hate texting in most circumstances. Texting is great if you are going to be stuck in a meeting and have to push back your lunch plans, or as an SOS from the trunk of your kidnapper's car, but it just doesn't make any sense to me when you are not in a situation where you are unable to talk. I think of texting as something 11-17 year olds do in class when they don't want the teacher to know they aren't paying attention. I would not appreciate texting as a way of conveying grown-up, relationship-related snippets. How much warmth can be conveyed in pixels on my 2-inch screen? I would much rather hear your voice, or at least be able to read your words in a more suitable medium (email) where I don't have to scroll down every 3 words.
 talista
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 7
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How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/21/2009 10:06:59 PM
Okay well I am still in the category of a twenty something. I know plenty of people who text all the time. Generally I wouldn't have a serious relationship with textaholics because I can't stand having my phone beeping or vibrating off the hook.

I text, but I prefer phonecalls for converstations. If you are just giving a status update and don't expect an answer in the next hour, then by all means text.

My boyfriend texted me one morning after he got a handy smart phone; and I got on his case about it because he was texting me for an hour ongoing about the weather, about how he hadn't gotten out of bed yet...he hadn't even asked me out yet for the day. I knew he was trying to get to that, but it was an hour so it was getting ridiculous. All of that can be said in 5 minutes in a phonecall.

Once you have met someone, texting a conversation like that is not proper ettiquette and can be extremely annoying.
 intelxual
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 8
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How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/21/2009 10:27:13 PM
Dude, it is different for each person you date. I once dated a girl that would rather text me a conversation than talk to me and that is when she was sitting next to me. Out of the last 3 women I met 2 would text me over 20 times a day, the third would text 1-2 times a day and we would talk on the phone evry other night or so.

Basically it all depends on the person. Just feel each person out.
 deeznutswhatdoyougot
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 9
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/21/2009 11:24:43 PM
DISABLE YOURE TEXT from the phone
unless you have kids or a wife or significant other that need to use it.
skip it, youre gnna get in an accident if u do it in the car..or someone is gonna run into you /out looking
i dont have text. i think it is horrible
yaay its easier to get youre booty calls.,but...skip it
 JustinDF2
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 10
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 12:18:16 AM
Lol, scary technology is coming to get you. Texting is just another advancement of the future, its something we youth do. Hey, it could be worse, we could have Mullets, at leasts our generation cant claim that monstrosity!
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 11
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How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 1:15:43 AM
My guess OP is not that you came across as clingy, but that you came across as not really interested. Most women like to hear the sound of the man they're interested in's voice. Texting is for when you can't talk on the phone, not for when you don't because you're timid. I'm also willing to think that by creepy this girl was wondering if you were trying to hide something.
 itsmillertime6227
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 12
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 1:28:54 AM
Yes, it is very common for people in their 20's to text. It has pretty much replaced talking on the phone...which is cool with me b/c I have unlimited texts but not minutes lol.

Just go with the flow like you would in any other conversation. The conversation ends like any other...they say bye/g'night/ttyl/g2g/etc..Don't send text multiple texts if they do not reply right away, one will do. As long as they are respond and the conversation isn't forced, you're all good.

If you have just started dating, send a text every 2-3 days or longer unless she texts you before that. Don't become too accesible but don't let her lose interests.
 *november babee*
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 13
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How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 1:37:07 AM
well im gonna disagree with most in here ..
i prefer to txt than to call.. unless hes txting me 20+ times a day, and doesnt wait for reply before sending another..
 anthonyalan
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 14
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 1:37:09 AM
Finally some good advice ;) thanks millertime.
 BrianSnoCO
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 15
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How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 3:52:50 AM
Perhaps this will come off as sounding too old fashioned but here's a concept; "Typing is for writing letters & e-mail, and telephones are for talking."

I'm 34 and quite honestly I fail to understand why young or older people would willing choose to type a message when they can speak and hear the sound of the human voice instead.

For the hearing impaired text messaging is a godsend; it is wonderful how technology has come to the aid of those who cannot carry on telephone conversations...

But as for dating; why wouldn't you want to hear your girlfriends or boyfriends voice...What is dating for anyway?, either to get married, have sex, or hopefully eventually both...There's no better way to get to know a person then through thier voice inflections...
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 16
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 4:51:09 AM
Texting may be what your age group does but it can be intrusive and annoying. I decided not to put it on my phone package which means i pay for all my texts, so if a guy texts me I get very irate about it. I tell them not to.

If you can't hold a phone conversation, then how do you expect to hold a conversation face to face??? You honestly need to learn to hold a conversation. YOu're a cute guy and should not be that shy. You're in college, you have common things to talk about with girls. On the first day of classes we all exchanged phone numbers in order to call if we were absent for class. Or to get together and study.

Not every girl wants to be texted, no matter her age. It is an epidemic among teens, but grown women do prefer a guy actually talk to her to express interest. Any guy can send a few flirtations through text, but a real man can talk to you face to face. If a guy or girl prefers texting it's probably because they've got tons of friends and interests texting them, and it takes less time to keep them all straight.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 17
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How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 5:27:37 AM
Meh. I love to text. I have unlimited and I use the hell out of it. I am not a phone person. I can text without using minutes and I can text in places that I wouldn't be able to actually talk to someone on the phone.

As someone else said follow her lead. It's like this - if she doesn't respond, don't keep texting. If she says something that is a conversation ender like "Have a good one!" stop texting. It should work both ways. If she is texting you and you don't respond she should back off as well. See how that works? Think of it this way - if you call and I don't answer you wouldn't keep calling every 2 minutes (unless you are beyond annoying) . If you text and I don't respond you shouldn't just keep texting. That is like talking to yourself.
 CutiepieHoneybunch
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 18
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 5:31:38 AM
I'd actually agree with the girl. Texting is a LAZY form of communication. Its such a turnoff when a guy texts me. It means either he is in the presence of perhaps another lady... or too socially awkward to carry a conversation. I'm sorry, its ok to be shy as a kid, but as an adult you need to get over it. Shyness is a form of insecurity. Man the f*ck up and call her.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 19
How much texting is too much after the first few dates?
Posted: 5/22/2009 5:49:23 AM
Everyone is different, I have some girl friends who text a lot, I dont. They get pissed cause they'll text me, and I never reply! LOL

I like a text to alert me of a change of plans or something that is an FYI or a funny...but not to exchange ideas and thoughts back and forth. For that I prefer the phone or face to face.

If texting is preferable because you are shy, Id challenge you to get over that. What will you do if you meet the lady of your dreams and she doesnt even use a cell phone? LOL
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