| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:14:35 AM | | I am a divorced single Mom, who is really not ready for a longterm relationship, but who has needs.......I really don't want to go out to a local bar and find a guy to take home alone and have a one night stand with.....So I would like opinions from everyone about having one special guy who I trust to be my CALL ON WHEN IN NEED GUY....lol......is that good or bad????? | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:26:05 AM | Sounds good in theory, difficult to pull off in practice...
I had a friend who approached me with the same situation, we kept it going for about a year and a half but towards the end she was getting attached. As it turned out though, she ended up moving to the States so problem solved. Would I do it again? Maybe, maybe not.
The important question is how do YOU feel about it? If you feel it's wrong then that is going to colour the whole situation. Also, how do you work around the kids. When my daughter was younger I dated a couple of girls and she got attached to them very quickly and missed them when they left. Now, I don't introduce her to anyone unless it's looking long term. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:29:12 AM | *******Also, how do you work around the kids.*******
My kids are gone everyother weekend, they don't even know what sex is...!!!!! My private life and needs are always on the back burner when it comes to my Babies...
I don't want them to see me with anyone, then get attached to them and go through the heartache of losing them.....No way !!!!...Not worth it to me..... | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:36:52 AM | Mine better not know either, but like I said I made the mistake of letting my daughter meet a girl before I was sure whether it was long term. When it didn't work out seeing my little girl hurting was worse than breaking up.
Since then I am a lot more careful about letting her meet girlfriends...like you said.
Not worth it to me
I couldn't have said it better myself.
That being said, I doubt you'll have problems finding a willing "friend" or a "long-term" when you're ready for it. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 12:31:06 PM | Been there done that..
First time around it worked very well.. we were both honest about what we wanted and we had already been friends for a long time before anything happened so there was already a lot of mutual respect and trust. Ahhh we had some fun slumber parties. In this case the kids already knew this person as a friend and after the *benefits* phase ended we were still friends so it really was an idea situation.
Second time.. was an experience direct from the deepest pits of hell. The honesty was there.. on my part. She on the other hand had isses.. such as an enormous ego. She did not want a relationship any more than I did but (thanks to her total self absorbtion and unwillingness to communicate honestly) she decided that I *must* be in love and want more. It got very ugly very quickly. | |
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RitzNB
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 11 | |
| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 12:44:09 PM | @ MidWestGirl
I see nothing wrong with such an arrangement between two consenting adults who practice safe sex. We all have needs. However, I think both people have to be on the same page. Set certain guidelines beforehand. Will this **** friend be exclusive to you or is he everyone else's **** friend also. Will you do activities outside of sex with this person or is it simply someone you call for sex and nothing more. If you truly just want recreational sex then the person needs to know this. As other's have mentioned some people will develop feelings or get attached regardless of the arrangement. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 1:33:06 PM | Not IMO...
but to each thier own...
If you know what yuou are getting yourself into
and are prepared for the consiquences
then sure... why not..
but me??
no.. not me!
runs thru the thread nekkid...
streakerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 1:53:49 PM | *****Will this **** friend be exclusive to you or is he everyone else's **** friend also.****
This is to RitzNB. ^^^^ This is exactly what I am talking about.....There has to be trust that we are totally the only ones with each other sexually, I have enough things to worry about ...lol And I think that Sex at first would be the only thing I would be interested in. However, if we decided later on to be more, then I would consider doing other things as well......Movies, Dinner...ect.... | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 2:05:48 PM | | I think it would be good just as long as nobody gets to posesive and you know that it is not friends with benifits with everybody. Just the two of you, I guess the next level would be swingers. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 2:19:04 PM | | True, but if the next level was being Swingers, we would both have to have spouses involved and agreeable to the arrangement....Not something that I would want to venture into at all. I don't want to share my man ;) | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 2:23:03 PM | *****Will this **** friend be exclusive to you or is he everyone else's **** friend also.****
The ones that I've had that I was exclusive to them, developed an emotional bond.
The ones that I've had that were not exclusive, were by far, the true meaning of "friends with
benefits".....
....friends don't judge each other. They just enjoy each other. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 2:32:23 PM | I think it depends on the people. I've got a "friend" like that, I'm not attracted to him really, and wouldn't want a long term relationship with him, but he's great in the sack and we are both on the same page and get together once in a while..needs must!
But, having said that, if I had that arrangement with someone else and I got emotionally attached too much then it would be a different story. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 2:49:45 PM | | LOL^^^ Actually, he was awesome in that department, it was just his MOUTH that I hated..lol...He was very abusive, so I KNOW I won't be going back there.....Took me nine years to get away from the freak | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/2/2005 9:56:46 PM | You know what?
It don't Matter if its a Temp, B/F or long-term relationship.
If the times spent together are pleasurable, you enjoy each other's company, love will likely enter the fold at some point. Should other limitational circumstances not exist, it will usually turn into a long-term Relationship anyways.
So why not go for the best? | |
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