| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 1:48:55 PM | ok I am messed up... I lost 40lbs simply for not eating over the past 2 months. I have no idea what I'm doing or how to handle this at all.
I am 24 I meet my first gf at 23 her name was Jen she was my Bestfriends ex. His phone died he put her number in mine and she needed help one night he didnt care to help her I made him go I drove she was locked i nher basement by her parents the cops were there and all I gave her a ride. I texted her while she was in the car with us and she didnt mind she talked to me for a week about jon my bf her ex and she asked me to help her get him back. I tried and I got him to meet her. I picked her up and took her to meet him and he brought a girl. Jen was not happy but she had a great time with me that night and then I took her home. 3 weeks latter all we did was text and well she said I love you your amazing I never had a GF before but I was falling in love.
We meet at her parents house she was till in the shower so I had to wait (that was nerve racking) shec ame down in skin tight spandex and top and I was blown away I never seen her in any thing other then a winter jacket. The girl was a 8 out of a 10 and I felt like I didnt belong. Her family is loaded and I just felt out of place. Well we had a romantic dinner alone at her place and we cuddled and I got my first kiss ect. she called that night and the next day ect. we were already kinda past dating like we never dated and we just were great. She wanted to be physical before the first night even I made her wait a month I wasnt comfortable with my weight but she didnt care so yea she took my V and we were seeing each other 4 nights a week min.
3 months latter her moms BF broke my ankle Jen went to the hospital with me I spent a few more nights at her house we bonded even more. Then 3 days before my cast come off... Her phone goes its a text form "Tyler" "hey baby i will make it up to you friday when were alone" Friday my cast was coming off and we had a dinner celebration!  She was up changing into pajamas she came down I just looked at her with a broken heart face and she took the phone from my hand and said it was just a friend I can handle him. I got off of the couch and saty on the layz boy. She was pissed I read the text. we didnt talk 20 mins latter she crawled onto me and did the make up thing... Then as I'm getting ready to leave she couldn't kiss or hug me good night! I knew wtf was up. thursday the next day she didnt talk to me friday my cast came off and she didnt talk to me until 8ish she texted me saying she seen tyler she likes him they made out.
2 days latter on suday she seen me and she decided she wanted my BF Jon there he rEX. We all talked Jon tried to get jen to admit what happen between her and Tyler she cried and said I'd never forgive her it was over we were over she ran away into the woods. Jon flipped and said bye bith and left. I found jen she admited to haveign a one noight stand and she wasnt on the pill he came in her and its all over she will be pregnant and its her problem not mine. So I said you want us over then fine I was taking her home I told her bye you will always have a peice of me with you and I will always carry a peice of you in my heart. She cried and said "josh I'm right here! Josh please I'm not going any where"
By the time we got to her place (a hour drive) we decided to get threw this together and I spent the day with her and we went to her sisters basketball game and then to her home. Her mom knew some thing was wrong and I let it slip out. it was ok tho I guess Jen seamed sincear that it wont happen again and that she loved me still. We had a rough week after that day being with her phyically ripped my heart out and she called me tyler once or twice. after that tho we were doing better.
She and I got really close and stable together and she asked me to take a chance on her and marry her. I told her we could get engaged after she got back from her beach trip in 6 months. She started to see me every day her mother got pissed said I was the only thing her daughter care about any more and enough is enough and she told jen it was over!
Jen asked me to coem say good bye I went to her room and she wraped herself around my arm and cried said it was over and she loves me soo much. She shook and cried and it tore me apoart. she asked me to talk to her mom bla bla bla. her mom said I could text her once or twice a week and thats that.  Jen said I love you and we kept talking and being romantic over the phone.
Wait go back a few weeks. Jen meet another kid named Scott, her mom liked him and jen seen him as a "friend" then he kissed her good night and she had a hicky. She told me about it and showed me and swore thats all it was. She took me to meet him... OIn the way she showed me a bite mark on her stomach they made out... She called him and gave me the phone for directions Ihe said he lived bla bla bla I said "Baby where bla bla bla" she yelled at me said he could hear me and he would get upset!. Ok she was dating him I guess I meet him he was trash she wouldnt get out of the car or talk to him my friend meet us there Jon Jens ex and she asked us to kicjk scotts ass. I just looked at scott and got in the car I was done with this shit. He came to the car and tried to get jen to talk I put the window down a crap jen flipped and left the car he followed her I drove in the direction they were walking jen thought I was lkeaving her. what ever she asked for her ourse in my car scott came to the car to get it I gave it to him and jen told me to leave.
Ok you got all that?
Now she said If I loved her I would hjave stayed grabed her and put her in my car and I would have never left her with him in the gehto. Ok well she got out of my car he took her stuff and she told me to leave!!!! Any way a few days latter she loveds me still and I see her we go out do our thing I'm buyin gher shoes and her phone goes again its scott "Baby send me a pic my cousian wants to see who I'm dating" I told her to give me the keys to my car its over. She flipped said shes not dating him its in his head.. again I stayed by her side. A few days latter she broke up with Scott to stay with me!
Now she finds out he had a GF but she didnt know they were threw so she blows up his phone after breaking up with him. then she finds out it wasnt true they were over so she goes to his house with her GF to say sorry.. they get drunk and ****!!!!! me and jen break up! AGAIN!!!! Now she calls and says shes pregnant with my kid and I see her again for a few weeks. This is when her mom ends us...
Ok now that the time line is back on track... we talk for 3 weeks all love dovey like I love you I want you will you make love to me again.. bla bla bla... Ok then she breaks up again!!!! Then we dont talk 3 days.. then she blows up my phone I ignore her 2 days then I talk to her I want my stuff back. she said in time I said no now. I shgow up at her house and her mom flips and hands me my handcuffs but jen wouldnt give her mom my neckless she comes out and hands that to me her self I say bye but her mom foillows me to my car and yells. Jen stayed at the house and cried. then calls me back and asks me to come back and take her out to say good by properly.
We go to dinner and we had a great time. Scott was still blowing up her phone I guess they were still together. She told him stop I'm saying buye to josh were having dinner. he flips and breaks up with her she didnt care we made out and did our thing she said I love you bla bla bla... wait for me bla bla bla we talk behind her parents back I love you ect. she went to the hospital had a nasty infection AGAIN (ehhh Scott?!?!) she calls 4 times a day I love you ect. 2 weeks latter its over AGAIN!!!! I'm like fine F this crap she askes me to see her I come down her moms rampid jen told her mom to F off and walked to my car we talked for a bit and she couldnt even look at me she was soo upset. She stil lsaid she was pregnant with my kids and I said I love you fgood bye. Now I find out she was seeing TOM another friend of mine!!!!! They just broke up yesterday and Jen stopped calling me 2 days ago...
Now after that last break up we didn't talk for 3 days then she called me and we started talking 2 times a day for a week. She said she still loves and asked if I still have feelings for her and if I still see her in that way. I said yes I still love you. she said its over for now shes leaving for the beach an d in 3 months maybe we can have some thing... then the next day its over goodbye then the next day she loves me again then its over then were friends now she hasn't called in 3 days.
I cant eat I cant sleep I'm so damn sic IDK what to do! Shes 18 I'm 24 and I still love this girl she was my first every thing and she stole my heart. I was her second BF and no when I meet her the girl I fell in love with wasn't a slut. Some one please help what do I do or say to her?!?! | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 2:03:13 PM | | Hey I'm sorry for the typos I'm a bit of a wreck over here I know its hard to read but basically it goes we fell in love we would go to church together cook together go out with her family weekly to dinner. We did every thing together she has a one night stand. we get threw it. She then meets Scott... we get threw it her mom ends us after Jen asked me to marry her. then she dates tom while still saying shes pregnant with my kids and while shes calling me daily saying how much she loves me. now her and Tom are over and a part of me wants to call her but she hasn't called me in 2 days and I'm not reaching out to her after all this. I don't know what to do I love the girl and I found out her grandfather is in the hospital she just broke up with tom (he was 31 and total trash he tried to stalk her when she went to the beach on Friday) so now shes hurt upset and not even telling me whats going on. I know this because a friend of mine Rob started to talk to her for me. She told him yesterday that shes loves me but nows not the right time for us. so wtf do I do?!??! | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 2:36:50 PM | first Josh heres a big hug you need it.Ok i know you love her. Theres a reason she your first love.Its the one that makes your heart feel like it will burst. Also its the one that breaks it deeply too. Did you read what you wrote? Because thou she may say she loved you she didnt act like it. Here you are worried over how she is what shes thinking . Where your consern for Josh in this.?Does it matter that she does seem to hold any worth of the mens hearts she has messed around with?Yet here you are blaming every one but her. All the bad relation ships you described had one common facter ...her. get what Im saying?You can take her back keep holding her blameless. And she will keep walking all over your heart. Sense noone is holding her responsible for her actions. OH let me guess she not able to be sure she wont get pregnat either/ HMMMMMMMMMM.Look your very sweet a little lost shes your first love not your only. Ill pray that what ever you decide it brings you happyiness.Josh actions do speak louder than words Brazengrl | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 2:51:15 PM | Hey thanks for that I know what I should do or at least what my mind say its just every one tells me she never loved me I was just being used but the way she shook and cried in my arms the twinkle in her eyes the things we been threw and the times we shared. I can't just throw that away believe me I tried and every time I start to wake up and face the facts she calls with that sweet innocent voice and she talks about us and missing my rubs and wanting to see me and oh god it starts all over again. 
I don't think I will ever stop caring for her and honestly she isnt that bright I don't want to talk bad about her but any guy that shows her interest now gets some and shes not into protection at all shes been in and out of the hospital 2 times now and its tearing me apart just watching her destroy herself. I mean that was my baby my precious my yum yum. What the hell happened she died her hair black got a tat and a few more piercings she hooked up with Tom a crack head ex con and she even stopped bathing daily. When we were together shed shower 3 times a day it was rediculas its like she literally just don't care any more! Our last phone call was 2 days ago and she told me shes done caring wtf shes only 18! Her family is nuty her mom and dad are divorced she sees a therapist and well Jen was premature by 3 weeks. We all thinks she has some issues but god wtf! Now shes down at the shore with her rich grandparents and there 7 mil beach house and I bet shes having fun not giving a damn while I'm over here throwing up every thing I eat and whats worse is other then 1 friend I'm all she really gots and she wont ever leave me alone unless I change my number but God I don't want to do that but I dont want to hear her say she loves me either. This isnt love its God awful she asked me to marry her and tried to get pregnant with my kids ( I didn't know) I'm going nuts! | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 5:05:49 PM | josh i agree i think you can do better.
if she loved you she would have stayed with you and not messed around with other people
keep in mind she is also younger than you, the maturity level does make a difference.
she is your first love. they are hard to get over i get agree, im still getting over mine.
but she is not treating you the way you treat her.
if you dont want to be hurt like this anymore then you need to stop
tell her how you feel. be honest
im sure its something along the lines as i want to be with you but you have to stop behaving like this.
statistics prove the most people dont stay with their first love unfortunately. i dont know if this is the case but it doesnt seem that she wants ONLY you. she may be comforted knowing youll always be there, that is a great attribute and shows you how much you love her, but it may also be self destructive and she may walk all over you your entire life.
stay strong, work out so you can build your confidence, eat something because if you go hungry your metabolism will slow down and you may gain weight the next time you eat.
get drunk that might help you sleep a little.
continue to be her friend, see where is goes, but be careful about wearing your heart on your sleave.
btw is sounds like she is just breaking out of her shell and needs some growing up to do. | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 5:39:10 PM | Josh, I didn't get through all that, but managed the gist of it.
This girl is more a mess than you are and one you ought to forget. She doesn't know what she wants, and she is just causing you great anxiety hon. I don't see that this will change any time soon from what you've described.
Start going to the gym, and build your body with muscle. It's a great way to meet other people, and will help to forget your troubles and burn off excess negative energy into something positive with a end result that you will be proud of accomplishing.
Take some supplements and drink lots of water if you can't eat straight away. Your appetite will return eventually in time. Try to eat smaller more frequent meals or snacks throughout the day to keep your immune system healthy as well as your brain.
Sorry to hear of your troubles, but you will live through this and look back one day and this will be a fond memory of something that lead to better things. Sometimes the people we draw into our lives are there as stepping stones for bigger and better things coming our way.
Chin up, stay strong and take care of yourself there darlin'!
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 8:03:44 PM | Its just wow I mean we cooked together we went to church together we were 100% our selfs when we were together then all of a sudden she cheats then asks me to marry her then goes super slut over night! Its funny her dad told me to save my self and stay away from her shes not worth it bla bla bla he thought I was with her for the money and her body when I all really cared about was her. Well she hasn't called me since Thursday still nothing today she told Rob a friend of mine happy Bday and said to say hi to Josh (why all of a suden after she breaks up with Tom she cant call me idk) but I do know she will call and thats what scares me.
Heres a question... My best friend her first love ( I was her second) got a BJ from her a month ago when we were still together. My other friend Tom went into hiding after he told me shes trash to leave the whore alone then turned around and dated her. My last good friend Becky My best friends ummm EX ( I know its messed up) got soo upset over what happened with Jen she flipped on her and told me I was a Fing idiot and she and Jon went sour so shes out of my life as well... WTF I lost all 3 of my close friend over 1 girl... WTF is going on! Well Jon is still around but I can't trust him so whats the point...
I don't even know how to restart my life I'm unemployed from my ankle injury and my so called friends all did my girl wtf... Seriously is there any good people living near me? | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 8:19:46 PM | | this is when u realize who ur true friends are...thats one. Now about the girl, a girl that tells u she loves u and then turns around and pulls this crap is not worth one single thought. I spent so many years with a guy that would do the same thing, at first it was like "we're friends" then "i like you" then he was wit this girl for so long and after she broke up with him and humiliated him, who do u think he ran to?....me. and in the end after all the promises and all the "i really wanna be with you" he completely ignored me out of the blue, went back with the girl who tore him to pieces and married her....its been the hardest thing to do, u know getting back on ur feet and trying to trust but the day u realize how much ur worth and how much u deserve someone who will RESPECT u then all this will seem like a well learned lesson. | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 9:17:09 PM | Josh ,
No matter what anybody tells you it wont matter, until you hit your rock bottom... Trust me... We never really listen to advise do we????? I will tall you my advise and maybe just maybe you will take this to heart and really listen... I am 33 and have been there done that... I have been married for 10 yrs and together for 14 yrs now,,, People don't change!!!! Yes you love her, you love the good parts of her, but those bad parts will never go away....trust me.... Listenlet me explain this and really try to wrap your beain around this. No one is perfect everyone has faults some people have no manners, some people are slobs, some are lazy, some don't want to work, some drink, some hit etc....etc.... see the picture so far??? Now everyone has the same desires deep down somewhere, and that is what we see at first..... the bad is only something we learn over time, and being around the same person for a while... Now here is the KEY point... Who you should be with is ..... the person who's faults bother you the least, it's not about the good attributes always.... SEE you can NOT handle someone with the fault of cheating.... So she is not the one for you.... Every girl can be sweet you will feel that again I promise~!!!! but know before hand what you can and will tolorate( as a fault) and know that not everyone is made for rach other.... You can try to make things work with her but I guarnentee that eventually you will break up for good. trust me I now know this 14yrs later... Please Josh, if you stay you will create more issues in your future relationships you will have trust issues always. You are young, and seem to have a sweet heart.... Give that to someone who can return the same commitment to you... Like I said earlier you probally won't listen you will read what I said and go about your day.... But think what do you really have to lose.... Once in your life tryst someone and do the smart thing.... good luck... and please eat something :) | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/23/2009 9:21:56 PM | Is there any hope for me and her? I mean she broke up with me soo many times now and every time she calls me back saying sorry or I love you or heck, hold on AIM chat log lol Tell me what is going on in her head I need a girls view on this. The log is from last Sunday since then she called every day up until Thursday night then silence. Keep in mind she broke up with me a week before this chat...
JenJones (5 52 PM): i am going to my cousins graduTION
midgardpimp (5:35:13 PM): I hate graduations i didnt even go to my own lol
midgardpimp (5:35:27 PM): I only wanted to go to yours well for you lol
midgardpimp (5:35:30 PM): I cant stand them
JenJones (5:35:42 PM): lol they r so much fun
JenJones (5:35:46 PM): u r boring
JenJones (5:35:57 PM): but very romatic
midgardpimp (5:35:58 PM): hahat hanks
midgardpimp (5 07 PM): yea I suck I guess
JenJones (523 PM): no u r sweet
JenJones (526 PM): and i love u
midgardpimp (557 PM): well maybe in time I can take you out with the band
midgardpimp (5 29 PM): if you can escape from your family for a weekend that is.
JenJones (5 36 PM): yes
JenJones (544 PM): do u still want to make love t me
JenJones (552 PM): or did that go away
midgardpimp (556 PM): do you really think we ended for good?
JenJones (5 13 PM): yea i thought we all were done
JenJones (5 56 PM): i want to make love
midgardpimp (5 05 PM): do you still want me?
JenJones (521 PM): carry me to your room and slowly work my clothes off
JenJones118 (523 PM): and yes
midgardpimp (5 23 PM): could you call tonight?
JenJones (537 PM): yea
BTW she never called and that night she wen tout with tom to Hooters... errr... Now shes broken up with him and niot talking to me... I'm at a loss here girls HELP!!! | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/24/2009 8:54:05 AM | Josh, you write that your ex's "...family is nutty, her mom and dad are divorced, she sees a therapist, and ... she has some issues but god wtf!" Based on your description, her issues may be a cluster of traits called BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Women suffering from that affliction usually cause their BFs or spouses to go nearly crazy trying to figure out what they said or did wrong. I therefore suggest that you read the short article at BPDfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a101.htm. It is the best concise description of what a relationship is like with a person who has high functioning BPD.
One of the hallmarks of BPD is the pushing-away and pulling-you-back behavior you describe. Hence, it is common for such people to fear intimacy so much that they will push you away. And because they fear abandonment just as much, they will later try to reel you back in. Other traits are self-destructive behavior like extreme promiscuity and the refusal to take responsibility for any of their actions. Moreover, during the first six months or so, they will be extremely passionate and will mirror your personality, making you feel you have met your "soul mate." All that behavior seems consistent with what you describe. Of course, her behavior might be explained by one of the other serious personality disorder like NPD.
I mention the personality disorders only because you say you are seeking some understanding of your ex's strange behavior. I am not writing, however, to suggest that you try to "save her," as you apparently have been trying to do. That is an impossible task -- a fool's errand -- because the disorder was fully formed by early childhood and is extremely difficult for her to undo. Indeed, her own father told you that you cannot help.
Instead, I am writing to encourage you to reexamine your own behavior: to consider why a 24-year-old man tolerated such abusive behavior for a full year and, for the past two months, has been throwing up food due to the pain of watching his ex self-destruct. It seems that (like me) you have codependent aspects to your personality. This means that your sense of self worth relies too heavily on your efforts to help other people, even when doing so is to your own harm. If so, you are a sitting duck for women like your ex. Hence, even if you do not return to her, there is danger you will be drawn to another just like her and spend your entire life as an abused doormat. You deserve much better than that. I therefore urge you to read about codependence at the website above. Other sites providing good information on codependence are bpdCentral.com and bpd411.org. Best of luck to you, Josh. | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/24/2009 10:27:07 AM | Uhm... everyone's posted some really good senses and advises here. You still keep on posting and asking if there's hope, and now with the chat log. Jeez... I guess if you couldn't even listen to her own dad, you wouldn't listen to a bunch of strangers here trying to get some sense into your head.
Edit: Oh... and that's not called "making love", cause there isn't any reciprocal love involved. It's called sex... duh.... | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/24/2009 10:36:31 AM | OP, get a self esteem . When you've accomplished that your relationships won't be so much hard work.
And that chat log just demonstrates how little self esteem you have.
Good luck. | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/24/2009 11:09:24 AM | No I hear you all I just keep holding onto those first 4 or 5 months of heaven we shared. I know its foolish but I'd give anything to have them back. Part of me hopes that when she returns in 3 months we could start over and maybe this time it will work I always hold onto hope with out it I'd be lost.
I know theres plenty of other woman out there its just she was very unique and no one will ever come close to replacing her I mean idk I just feel like I will always hold every girl I meet to her and no one will ever come close to making me as happy as I once was. I can still hear her voice in my head her "aww come here, baby I'm sorry" she was soo damn sweet and cute and lovable and I thought innocent and now I feel like I been spoiled and ruined for life. Its not like I'm ever going to find another girl like her again...
Its kind of like a guy and his car... I drive a 98 Cadillac Eldorado ETC and I love it! Some day she will leave me and I will need a new car but I know a Kia wont make me happy. I mean I'm used to a Caddy... The Kia may get me from point A to B and it may be semi reliable but its just not the same the class is gone. I will never be happy driving it period!
Now look at me I'm not a very attractive guy or at least I have low selfesteam. Now look at what I fell in love with I mean I doubt I will ever find a girl like her again. Her personality was out of this world and physically she was the girl of my dreams.
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Maybe I'm just looking at this the wrong way but I doubt I will meet another 5ft tall 89lb dink any time soon with a Ferrari  and if I ever do I doubt she would even give me a second thought. I know it sounds like I'm thinking with my other head its just shes what I fell in love with my very first every thing and shes the one who broke me in. Thats what I'm going to want for the rest of my life now. I mean I love the mall and Starbucks and fine dinning and MTV and Lifetime and smelly sprays OMG see what I mean she ruined me! I'm not even a man anymore... | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/24/2009 11:12:33 AM | I guess thumbs wont work on these forums
http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/9435/8542055217orig.jpg
http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/7001/8587376082orig.jpg
I just feel like I been spoiled by a rich brat with a great body and now I know that I may find a girl who will treat me better in the long run but she will never compare to my first love and sadly my first was my dream girl. | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/24/2009 12:34:23 PM | Josh, you say you "...keep holding onto those first 4 or 5 months of heaven we shared ... I'd give anything to have them back." If you would spend 15 minutes and read the article I cited above, you would find out that many men spend their lifetimes trying to save a woman suffering from BPD. The objective is to get back the first six months, which is so passionate and romantic that it is intoxicating. Why would it be otherwise? A woman afflicted with BPD has virtually no ego and thus will mirror your personality, claiming to love all the things you love. Moreover, she will convince you that you -- being the big strong man you are -- have ridden in on a white stallion and rescued her from her previous lover who was abusive. Of course, when you become the ex-BF, she will say the same about you to her newest "savior."
Because you seem so codependent (i.e., such a doormat), you likely are a sitting duck for such women, as I once was. What is so sad is that you are longing for something that never existed. That is, your ex-GF -- if she has BPD as I suspect -- never loved the real you. Indeed, with that affliction, she would be incapable of loving you. While she can be infatuated with you for a few months, it would be impossible for her to transition to actual love. One reason is that it is impossible for her to see you as a whole person due to the black/white thinking characteristic of BPD. Another reason is that BPD sufferers cannot trust anyone. Because trust is the foundation for all LTRs, attempting it with her would be a fool's errand. What I am saying, Josh, is that your "dream girl" exists only in your imagination. It therefore makes no sense whatsoever to compare any of your future GFs with your ex-GF's ability to create short-lived and false images in your mind.
Finally, I observe that you repeatedly ask us to help you "make sense" of this relationship and your ex-GF's strange behavior. Yet, as TashieTash observes, you fully ignore all our advice. At the age of 24, you are too old to be whining on and on about your doomed relationship and how great it was during the short periods that your GF was able to sustain the pretense of loving you. Instead, you should be making a real effort to understand what really happened -- and is still happening -- so you can break away from your own self-destructive pattern of behavior. | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/24/2009 1:25:55 PM | I'm familure with BPD I know what I need to do in regards to Jen. I just can't do it... The truth is she cheated and we fell apart but shes not a full blown case of BPD she and Jon "her first" lasted a year and a half he just left her because she wasn't deep enough for him she was more like a rich piece of ass with no personality or so he says. I seen more in her then that I still do. Its just we were fighting over little BS that was meaningless and then she just drifted away to Tyler and when we got through it we were stronger together. Then came the (take a chance one me, marry me) and the apartment and her mother ended us. She hooked Jen up with Scott and she did all she could to push Jen away from me because I was a threat. I tried to play nice with mommy and then Jen got pissed at me saying I was dating her mother not her. Any way yea Jen has problems but shes not THAT bad she just is roaming around she cant be with me shes 18 and lives at home mommy says no so its no. Shes not going to sneak around her mothers back she needs her for her car insurance, summer vacation, cellphone, food gas ect. I just have to move on some how I guess...
And me well I'm hooked on one girl that I just cant let go of I wish to god shed call me say I Fing hate you leave me alone. Instead of the I miss you I love you but I cant be with you right now crap. I sit here miserable and cant even eat while shes on vacation with her beach friends and no doubt her boy toys. Maybe I need a hooker | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/25/2009 6:27:20 PM | Josh Josh I see you have not looked into your mirror yet.I know you love we all know you love her. where is the love josh needs? She's not giving it to you . You my friend are not loving your self either. How can anyone love you when your knocking your self down?Lets think about this is it the money ? would you love her if her family disowned her. i would like to believe you would.My problem is you are so wrapped up in her that you have stopped caring about you.In ten years do you want to still feel this way?What about you child do you want her to think its ok to be like that with boys in her life ? Is she supposed to watch her dad be so unhappy?If you need to focus on a girl make it the one who will love you with out limits.Guess what if you are parents you are never out of each others lives. So try to honor that bond and know the baby should be what matters most. I'm still praying for you .Here's a secret Josh if i thought you were such a loser. I wouldn't be writing you now .The other people here don't believe it either.Give your self time to heal.You have had a big loss your heart is hurting. that my friend just means your able to love with your whole heart. take a deep breath , you will get through this .Remember if you spend your life living for what was. you will miss out on what could be.Take care Josh | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:19:30 PM | 
I texted her "Happy memorials day I hope your ok! Nite Nite" she said "Thanks" 45 mins latter. Then instantly texted Jon "I know we all parted. things r good 4 me. i keep in touch wit josh. and think of u. i hope we can be friends again in time. best luck in everything." Jon FWD that text to me as soon as he got it.
Then she texted me "How r u and j" I said "Im ok tho I miss ur calls..." she said "Yea" I asked her "R we going to stop talking" her response "IDK. i mean j wont talk to me so maybe 4 the best yea" Thats it. There you go...
**** HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! URGH!!!! I love you josh bla bla bla J wont talk to me bye.. WTF she don't give a damn for me any more she just wants me to make Jon talk to her. Its funny he called and asked me if its ok for him to call the cops and report a breach in the restraining order. I told him do what he wants I'm done with her.
She just killed every last hope I had for us and managed to turn all most all of my love for her into hate. Good job Jen!  | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:53:15 PM | hey josh, here's another hug. i know your hurting still and you will for a while. its ok, i promise it will get better you just need time. remember thieres people our here that hope as time goes by you'll find somebody that will really love you. shes only getting what she created its not you its her if you need somebody to talk to, my ear's open. get some rest
brazengrl | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/25/2009 9:33:52 PM | it doesnt make sense we spent nearly a year together all the things we done all that time we spent and she acts like I'm meaningless its worse then I thought she doesnt care at all about me!
What the heck happend I remeber the good times like they were yesturday all thoes aww come here babe all that kissing and cuddling thoes long nights till 3am on her parents couch. The make outs in Hollister... Every thing we did the cooking the cleaning the baby vids, church family fun nights the weekend getaways the family dinners the hospital trips the pregnancy scares the sex every thing! And what she just goes on with her life like it never happened all happy and dandy with her ****ing family and her sex friends while I'm here with a broken heart! wtf did I do to deserve this from her?!?!? I treated her better then any man ever will! No one would take the abuse and BS that I went threw to be with her. Her entire family told her she was a slut and trash and I and I alone sat there and held her as she cried and went on about how she needed me, then went on about Jon and how she misses him and I still ****ing stayed by her side WTF!!! I should have left her after she cheated on me the first time and now here I am at 12:30 in the morning spending another night up alone and miserable just like every other night while she sleeps comfortably... How can all that time we spent together have no meaning for her! | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/26/2009 7:37:06 AM | | You'll be thanking your lucky stars one day that this nut job is out of your life. Don't ever confuse sex and love. | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:59:27 AM | She texted me "Hey" at 845 this morning I guess she regretted last night and what she said I never responded tho. She called 1 min after her school let out talking all nice and sweet and sounding concerned for how I am doing. She asked if I was talking to any other girls yet I said no and she asked why not. I just told her I want to work on me for now and I still need to get over her. She then went aww and started talking about US and how she misses my hands and the rubs I used to give her. Then she said she just don't know if its worth trying us again. THEN she mentions Tom and how she has to say shes sore just to get him to rub her for 5 mins. I take it shes still with him... what ever I guess if I play my cards right I could see her again in some way shape or form but that 11 min phone call just ripped my heart out and yet made me happy...
Whats wrong with me? | |
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| Some help me make sence of this
Posted: 5/26/2009 3:11:48 PM | LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it must be painfull to share you dayly happenings with all of us here,
actualy,you need someone to slap you !wake up!!!!!!!
been there done that,
it cost me a finger,which i cut off to prove my love to a girl!what an idiot i was!!!!!!!
love makes blind!!!!!
she is enjoing the fact that you think you are in love with her and would do anything to be with her!
SHE IS A USER
delete her number,block her out of your phone,go on vacation,move to a relatives house for the summer,RUN!!!!
if you need someone to talk some sence into you,i give you my number!!!!
i have been where you are,sure it takes some time,but trust me it will pass.
the weird feeling in your stomig,not being able to eat,sleep,think strait,crying while just thinking of her.........SHAKE IT OFF!!!
just the thought of someone else toughing her,giving her a massage....bla bla bla.
its good to have feelings but at your age,just notsch it off as a lesson learned.
heads up,the sun will shine again! | |
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