| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:52:16 AM | | I belive Im a good guy but it seems like I get ladies to answer maybe once an it seems that it is going good. Then they stop messageing. I have been on here for a few an have went out on one date. Thouhgt it was going to be a good one but once we started talk she could not get out of the place fast enough. | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 5/25/2009 4:22:50 PM | Hmmmm...not sure what the deal is. You are gorgeous! Just never seen you around.
Becky | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 5/25/2009 7:17:38 PM | I have been here for a while and it is all a game. I watch and chat and you have to know how to talk to people, I am finding that most men in my age group want to cut to the chase. So I guess since this is the media we choose to meet " THE ONE" LOL You can talk and meet many at one time in IM. So if you do not state your postion or postions (Take it any way u want) It is so easy to move on to the next one waiting in the next IM window. And both men & women play the games, So will the MEN who are ready for love or a life not alone STEP FOWARD!!!!!!! Women don't be so shocked the way men tell what they really want, be glad they do and listen . And men need to respect the women, when asking sexy questions!!!!
| |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:12:02 PM | wow..
get out the cards!  let's deal it!
Lay out the hand.. let's get this game on the table! 
 | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 5/27/2009 9:20:53 PM | Hmmmmmm  Well I still do not see it all I guess. Who wants to find out first hand if Im a good guy or not. lol  | |
|
| |
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 5/30/2009 3:35:19 PM | Little to young for me, my daughter is 33. don't give up but do not count on this media to much lot of players here and the serial daters. You might try one of the meet and greets. Happy  to you! | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 5/30/2009 7:29:48 PM | | Have you tried attending the events/get-togethers? That way the women can expereince your charms first hand (and visa versa), plus there's less pressure than a one-on-one meeting. Just a thought. | |
|
| |
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 5/31/2009 9:26:02 PM | Lowdown.. never let anyone discourage you.. this is a great site to meet new friends.. and you can't have too many friends!
The POF parties are great fun! I never go with expectations except to have fun and meet new friends! | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/1/2009 9:24:42 PM | | I do not get discouraged....what I can not stand is a simple reply back saying thanks for the message but Im not interested...or something like that | |
|
indymx
|
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 12 | |
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/6/2009 8:45:52 PM | Same thing here..
I get a lot of looks on my profile, but if I try to communicate with any of the women that do look, I get read/deleted.
I'm really starting to think this site isn't for me. | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/7/2009 7:43:35 AM | | I think it all depends on your expectations. I joined this site looking for love and settled on just meeting people, both men and women, to hang out with, have fun with, go to the events with and consider them friends. I think we all expect something to just land in our laps but the truth is you have to put yourself out there and take a chance. | |
|
indymx
|
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 14 | |
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/7/2009 7:58:09 AM | | I agree, but you can't even meet people if they refuse to respond. | |
|
| |
| |
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:32:48 AM |
believe I'm a good guy but it seems like I get ladies to answer maybe once an it seems that it is going good. Then they stop messaging.
All I can say is that I completely empathize with you. I've met 4 people off of here and only one was obviously not going to work. The first one was enthusiastic about the 2nd date and then cancelled the day of and said she didn't want to "lead me on".
Date number 2 was dead in the water. I emailed her a couple weeks later to see how she was doing and get her impression of the date. She said she knew she "wasn't perfect or a barbie doll" but had to feel some personality attraction and she just didn't. Then she got mad at me for not calling the next day. I asked her why she cared if she didn't like my personality. She said she "still had wanted to be friends". Why would anyone want to be friends with someone whose personality they didn't like?
Date number 3 went a little better. We hung out a few times, things were going well and trust was being established. Then she didn't answer calls or text messages for 2 days and I knew what was coming. On a Sunday night my phone rang; she "wasn't over the pain caused by her cheating ex" but of course we could still be "friends". This is what inspired me to enter the friends paragraph in my profile.
Date number 4 seemed ok. We ate overpriced Japanese food and I was 10 mins late due to some issues with my contact lenses for which I apologized profusely. It ended with smiles and on a positive note. My next day call is ignored and I'm suddenly deleted from her friends list on Facebook.
My personal opinion is that it all comes down to numbers. There are probably 10 guys on this site for every woman. Most women probably get at least 5 e-mails a day. They have the luxury of being highly selective, almost like they're shopping for shoes or the perfect "little black dress". Most don't make first contact because they don't have to. They're too busy sifting through their inbox deleting and blocking and replying to probably 1 out of every 5 that they get. On a date all it takes is one black mark out of any number of things: you aren't having your best hair day, you say something that she doesn't agree with, she doesn't like the way you use your fork, you don't hold the door open even though she didn't give you the chance, she doesn't think you look as good in person as you do in your picture, she doesn't like your vocabulary, etc. All she has to do is say there was no "spark" and it's on to the next contestant.
Also many women on here are emotionally scarred by previous relationships (at least in my age group and area). There are a lot of divorcees and single mothers. They have a very thick protective shell that can prove very difficult or impossible to dent let alone break through. They seek perfection out of an instinct of self-preservation and the knowledge that a "next time" is readily available and waiting whenever they want it. | |
|
indymx
|
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 18 | |
| |
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/9/2009 12:17:21 PM | | I agree totally, i think you are completely right. I do think it goes both ways but I think the reasons are exactly what you said. On-line dating has made searching for your mate like a trip to the Mall...and if it makes you feel any better we girls get the same thing...I've been on dates that seem wonderful and then you never hear from them again, had a guy stand me up on a first date after asking me out for weeks, met LOTS of players and serial daters and it kind of gets to where you are scared to even date, as awful as that sounds. I am to the point where i don't answer alot of emails from anyone and not because i think i am too good for anyone,trust me I'm not... but because i hate going on dates that go bad because then it just makes me feel bad about myself, like there is something horribly wrong with me and I have way enough insecurities on my own so I don't take the chance... | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/9/2009 2:40:30 PM | | I've gone on dates to meet someone who spent the entire time talking about his ex, asked how long ago was it, he was like last week. So no big surprise when he didn't do the next day call. I've gone out with them and spent hours talking, felt a connection, and then when you email them to see what they thought they're like uh no "eletricity", what does that mean? Oh you mean the part where you're lusting after that gal I was 30 years ago? Sorry, she grew up and knows lust is just lust and it doesn't last. Or how about the guy who starts the I love you crap before you even meet, he's emailed you for weeks, talked to you every day and then one meeting he's like disappeared. The bottom line is we all, men and women, get played, not only online but in real time as well but if you put up a wall, never at least try, you'll have no one to blame but yourself. I'm still out there, still looking, not willing to settle for less than I'm willing to give and if that means all I come away with is some great friends all in the same boat as me, then don't feel sorry for me, I don't consider that a waste of my time. | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/9/2009 7:09:03 PM | | What ever happened to having no expectations and begin this off with friendship first? | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:13:58 AM |
I'm still out there, still looking, not willing to settle for less than I'm willing to give and if that means all I come away with is some great friends all in the same boat as me, then don't feel sorry for me, I don't consider that a waste of my time.
All well and good but great friends don't stay by your bedside for days at a time when you're going through cancer treatment. They might send a card or flowers but that's not the same. You can't spend your golden years traveling and fulfilling mutual dreams and truly loving life with great friends. Friends don't hold your hand while you're dying and say goodbye as a tear trickles down their face and onto the pillow. I work in healthcare and see rooms filled with husbands, wives and children at the end, not great "friends". Many of us are on here looking for something other than "friends". If I want friends I'll reconnect on facebook or call some of my current friends and meet people through them. I come on POF because the idea is to look for love, not someone to play Texas Hold 'em with on a Sunday night. | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/10/2009 11:12:25 AM | | My parents have been married forever and most of the time I really didn't think they even liked each other, but my dad got sick a few years ago, I mean REALLY sick, he had back surgery and while they were removing the stitches for the back surgery they busted his spinal sack, when they then went into to repair the spinal sack with another surgery he got an infection which was left untreated by his doctor for months. The infection went to his brain and he ended up spending almost 2 years in IU Med center in Intensive Care. He was so close to death so many times that the doctors gave up hope and told us we were hurting him by not letting him die. But my mom never gave up hope, she was there everyday and would not stop making the doctors take care of him. She fought harder than anyone I have ever seen to save him and today 4 years later he is home, still in a wheel chair but talking, moving his arms and most of all ALIVE and it is all because my mom loved him enough to not ever give up....My mom is what I measure love on now... | |
|
indymx
|
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 24 | |
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:50:11 PM | Sounds like your mom is a great lady.
That's what I'm looking for on here. Someone to make the doctors keep at it when they lose hope for me.
Not that I plan on being anywhere near that stage anytime soon, but you never know. | |
|
| Ladies whats the deal?
Posted: 6/10/2009 2:17:10 PM | | I think you misunderstood me, I'd like to find love, I mean who wouldn't. But I don't think having friends is a bad thing. If I found someone it would be the answer to a prayer I've said for a long time, but for whatever the reason, God didn't bless me with it, at least not yet and I haven't given up, haven't given in, just know when it's right, it'll be right. Do you really think any of us want to end up alone? For heavens sake, you're still a young guy and us old women who are on here don't get hit on, so it isn't just me thinking well if I can't find love, friends will have to do. And let me tell you, while I don't have a husband, I do have kids, a family, and if any of my friends need a shoulder to cry on, here it is. I love my friends and would be lost if I didn't have them. Okay, enough of the soap box, will jump off while I still can. | |
|
Home
login 
