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 Aligirl21
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 1
FWB but he still has a girlfriendPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Been friends with this guy for 3 years and everytime we mess around he has a girlfriend. He spends most of his time with me not her, yet he says he loves her. He doesnt want me messing around with other guys or even dating anyone else. He says "oh i dont know how much longer i will be with my girlfriend then we can date" then he turns around says "i want to be single for six months before i date anyone." I like him but i just dont know what to say or do?!? We havent done anything in over a month but he always wants too. He also wants me to do a 3some with him and i always say no. He wants to use my house to have sex with other girls. He is a pig but he is a friend i just dont know if cutting him off will benefit me or not? I also have a professional relationship(he is my recruiter for the army reserves) with him so im stuck and just want advice from neutral ppl!
 singleagain66
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 2
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 4:59:30 PM
Overall no matter how you put a True Real Friend would not do anything you say he is doing or asking so you should just stop being friends but thats just my opinion and advice.
 dustcloud
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 3
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:01:04 PM
You are being used. It will be easier all the way around if you sever all ties with him.
 memyselfandus
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 4
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:01:31 PM
Geez with 'friends' like that who needs enemies.........
 actualizing
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 5
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:01:55 PM
My advice is to stop sleeping with him and see if you can just be friends without benefits. That way it won't matter that he has a girlfriend or that you have to work with him. The problem is that you are letting him use you. Woman up and respect yourself. Good luck.
 miss_contemplative
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 6
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History
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:02:13 PM
Wow...just wow.

I'd have this scumbag's career.

Friend? Where I come from friends don't take advantage of friends like this. But who knows what other people think. You sound like a sexual toy and a convenient sperm receptacle. It doesn't sound like you respect yourself much. Then again maybe you measure respect by who you sleep with.

I just don't understand why you even have to ask this. He's a pig, remember?

Basically what you're doing right now is giving him these messages:

1) it is okay to just fvck me whenever it's convenient for you
2) it is okay to have sex with other women in my home
3) it is okay for you to cheat on your gf's with me or other women
4) I think you are a pig , but i'll let you use my body for gratification
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 7
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:02:21 PM
It doesn't sound like he's treating you like a friend. Why do you let him treat you so disrespectfully? Also, if he'll cheat on his girlfriend, he's likely to cheat on you too if you do date him.


I also have a professional relationship(he is my recruiter for the army reserves) with him so im stuck and just want advice from neutral ppl!


This is highly unethical and would probably get him fired if it came out. He's taking advantage of you, and his behavior should be reported to your mutual superiors.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 8
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:09:14 PM

Friend? Where I come from friends don't take advantage of friends like this. But who knows what other people think. You sound like a sexual toy and a convenient sperm receptacle. It doesn't sound like you respect yourself much. Then again maybe you measure respect by who you sleep with.

I just don't understand why you even have to ask this. He's a pig, remember?

Basically what you're doing right now is giving him these messages:

1) it is okay to just fvck me whenever it's convenient for you
2) it is okay to have sex with other women in my home
3) it is okay for you to cheat on your gf's with me or other women
4) I think you are a pig , but i'll let you use my body for gratification


No need to kick some one when they are down.
 Sidewinder154
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 9
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:09:19 PM
So which cut of meat are you? A steak? A roast? Hamburger?

He's using you. You are the mistress, nothing more. You are the back burner chick when the front burner is off doing something else. The romp in the hay on a yo-yo string that he can push away or pull close whenever he wants to.

And why should he change? He has his cake and is eating it too! He's got the committed relationship with the girlfriend... and some side fun whenever he feels like it with you.

Are you lacking in the self respect department? Because I can't imagine any woman with any amount of self respect would allow herself to be treated in this way. I mean shoot,.... only thing missing here is him leaving you $100 each time and poof, you become a professional girl. Is this REALLY what you want???

Kick this man to the curb and quit buying into his BS. He knows how to string you along and you're biting at it every chance. Quit it and quit HIM!

Him being an Army recruiter doesn't mean diddly. Once you're in basic training, he becomes obsolete.

I went into the Air Force and the only time I ever saw my recruiter was up until I shipped out for basic. After that, not so much as a word.
 BoudaciaSmile
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 10
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:23:54 PM
I think your real issue is YOUR resentment that he has "girlfriends" and "girls".
While you are showing your devotion and loyalty to him you are expecting it back from him. FWBs have no rules or expectations. It's pure use.
He is your source for sex. He is getting it from all other sources besides you.
Methinks
We havent done anything in over a month but he always wants too.
that you are wondering when you can get some time with him and he's telling you what you want to hear.
What you need to do, girl, is get some self-respect.
Take one week off from all contact with him (phoning, texting etc.) and look at why you accept this kind of behaviour from a man.
I hope you find your answer within you.
Good luck!
 Notsureboutyou!
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 11
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:24:41 PM
Now that you are labelled 'easy', DUMP HIS ARSE! GET SOME SELF ESTEEM!

And repeat in your mind ...over and over ... "Don't EVER have sex with a guy HOPING it will turn into long-term. This just complete messes things up."
 fishbill
Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 12
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:29:01 PM
"""I like him but ....We havent done anything in over a month but he always wants too. He also wants me to do a 3some with him and i always say no. He wants to use my house to have sex with other girls. ....i just dont know if cutting him off will benefit me or not? ....He is my recruiter for the army reserves...I just want advice from neutral ppl!"""

If your not into threesomes, maybe a foursome would be mor balanced. But since he is your recruiters, its not like him harassing you for sex is against the law of the land, and twice as bad in the Army. You could politely mention that, and say you want a promotion too while he's thinking about it....


""""1) it is okay to just fvck me whenever it's convenient for you
2) it is okay to have sex with other women in my home
3) it is okay for you to cheat on your gf's with me or other women
4) I think you are a pig , but i'll let you use my body for gratification""""

Uhuh, what's wrong with those 4?
 younowho
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 13
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:33:29 PM
well,, aint you just the score ..

hey, I have a candy Bar,, want some ???

WTF, are you just stupid or a Full blown Bimbo..

he your Recruiter, and this means ?????? You will find it means he's the lying POS that got you to join, and his bonus was up. In other words he made money off you joining, end of story. oh ya and he is getting a piece of ass.

oh by the way I lied I do have a candy bar, but I will get one just for you,, as soon as my other **** is finished with hers,

Do you do leftovers ??

Honey sorry for being point blank, your in the real world, your being taken for what ever can be had,,,

truth is you could get this guy put in person, booted out of the military with a dishonorable..

FYI a recruiter is the same as a used car salesman

you need a spanking .. no candy bar
 younowho
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 14
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:45:48 PM
ok in rereading and see the recent post, This guy is doing the domn / sub thing.. or a wanta be..

your are in the army ?? yet still in the area where he has access to get at you ( meat). Why ?

years ago there was a head line news story about this very thing. I think the guy is now really good friends with " bobby joe" seems like his nickname is backup Billy or maybe bendover bob
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 15
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:51:39 PM
I would say....he is not a friend at all.
He is selfish, abusive, manipulative and he is only taking from you and not giving you anything.
Leave and go look for someone that deserves you. He is a bad choice for you.

Good luck
 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 16
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:52:53 PM
^^^^
he your Recruiter, and this means ??????


It means there are rules in the Army against this and it is his career on the line.. HUGE NO NO. Hon.. Tell this boy to get lost.. or you will report him.

Arp
 beautyngrace
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 17
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History
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:53:13 PM
I agree with namrael to a point.
"This is highly unethical and would probably get him fired if it came out. He's taking advantage of you, and his behavior should be reported to your mutual superiors. "

In the real world:
This is highly unethical and YOU WILL GET fired WHEN it comes out. He's taking advantage of you, and his behavior SHOULD be reported to your mutual superiors. However. . .If you think the names that some of the posts have said he treats you like are . . .well whatever, let it come down to your job (the 68 cents on each dollar he makes you earn) or his. You will BE some names and THEN get fired. But here is what my XX years of being a woman and HR experience gladly offer:

JOIN the Employee Assistance Program NOW. Talk to them about this so that there is documentation of what you will substatiate WHEN this gets ugly on your job that you will have to fight for to keep or get a decent severance package. NOTE: Photocopying this post strand, will not stand up in any type of hearing, tribunal, mediation or any other fighting for your professional life and personal reputation type situation that you are heading towards.

-DON'T get pregnant!
-DON'T be available. Don't out and out kick him to the curb. . .because abusive men get real funky and stalker-like when it comes to the abused getting tired of being abused & opting out of the abuse, like you're about to do, they get more abusive.
-Get real DUMBA-AZZ on him. . .
. . . . . .Oh you called, I must not have heard the phone,
. . . . . .Oh are you sure it was today we were spose to hook up,
. . . . . . Oh I don't feel like it. . .cramps, strep throat and diarea (depending on what all the benefits are) I would suggest having all three at the same time. . .
. . . .. . .Oh I have Bible study
-GET in a Bible study
-Stop showering, washing up, shaving your legs & bikini area and all the other preparations you make for him when y'all hook up
-Have your mind elsewhere when y'all do hook up
-Take a good look at yourself after y'all hook up. Think your thoughts, feel what you feel and smell and then shower. Plan to do more crunches But serious, take another look , think your thoughts and plan to not feel that way again ONLY IF you didn't like what you thought, how you felt or what you smelled like.
DON"T show him this. Cause if he comes all crazy towards me for telling you this, I got something for his Punk-A$$....I 'm sorry, I digress

Good Luck, you will be on the other side of this before you know it.
 Life 2.0
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 18
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:45:23 PM
If he has a GF and you're FWB that's AFU. OMFG, the proper term is "other woman"

Go to supply and sign out some GI issue big girl panties (one each) and knock this crap off.

You're not stuck any more that you're allowing yourself to be. Sheesh!
 big22blue
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 19
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History
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:46:51 PM
you're being a doormat sometimes Aligirl. if you know all of this and are enjoying yourself, go with it, but realize what you have and don't have.
 smalltowngirl0
Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 20
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:53:00 PM
he is a turd.

and you are allowing him to be a turd.

diana
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 21
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History
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 7:15:05 PM
This just might be the lowest, deepest self-hate I've ever read on any forum.
 jersey-girl84
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 22
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 7:32:16 PM
First of all, you shouldn't be messing around with anyone that is TAKEN in the first place. Think of how his girlfriend would feel or you would feel in her shoes.

Get rid of him. He's just using you and you're allowing it. This has been going on for 3 years..if he really wanted to date you, he would have made an effort to do that by now. Like you even said, he's a pig...it shouldn't be hard to kick him to the curb. Even if you were dating, he wouldn't be treating you well anyway..just look at how he's treating his current girlfriend!

Start showing some respect for yourself and cut ties with this loser ASAP.
 Gigglemepink
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 23
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 7:36:06 PM
Stop being a doormat. Cut him loose. He's no friend. He's using you and you're allowing it. Don't mess around with someone who has a g/f.
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 24
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 7:36:18 PM
How would you feel if your boyfriend was fvcking someone behind your back? The only reason people can be unfaithful is because other people are willing to enable their dispicable behaviour.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

This man is not your friend and you should not be sleeping with him.
 *Meer Kat*
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 25
FWB but he still has a girlfriend
Posted: 5/24/2009 7:37:36 PM
He will never be with you OP. You should have learned that after round number 1. I don't think he's using you, you're allow yourself to be nothing more than a piece of meat (as was stated above.) My advice? Get away from him and then find a good counselor in order to figure out why you have no self worth.

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