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Posted: 5/25/2009 2:20:45 AM | hi all. ive been on three dates with this cute girl. it all seemed to go well untill we spent most of the day together. when i dropped her home, she gave me the 'its me, not you' type line. she went on about how she doesnt know if she wants to date anyone because of her past experience (shes seperated with a 15 yr old boy)
now, i have a disability (limp in right leg) and our day long date meant we had to walk quite a bit. i wonder is that it?
when she said she didnt know if POF, dating wasnt for her, i kind of believed her. next thing i notice, shes online again. shes even online as i write this. now, im a big boy, i can take rejection. but why does she come across all damaged, hurt etc when she seems she cant get enough of this site? | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 2:24:11 AM | | Easy way out of an awkward situation. She takes the blame and you're injured for it. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 2:49:50 AM | Surely the whole purpose of a date is to find a bit out about the other. If the result is not wht you had hoped for then best find out after the 3rd date and not the 3rd weddin annivrsary.
ive been on three dates with this cute girl.
What are you actually looking for, if you looking for something cute, get a pet cat about a month old, otherwise look for a young LADY and respect her for that. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 3:48:16 AM | | She probably decided she wasn't into you. So took the blame to not hurt your feelings. Some need a few dates to decide or longer. One never knows until after a few or even many dates that they find out something that turns them off and decide this isn't the person for me. If I'm not sure about a date, I'll give them a second or third, but I'll man up and tell them that I think we aren't for each other. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 3:48:42 AM | | OOPS, deleted because it dbl posted | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 6:38:08 AM |
If I'm not sure about a date, I'll give them a second or third, but I'll man up and tell them that I think we aren't for each other.
What the hell is "manning up?"...it's like some new sexist drivel going around the forums. New catch phrase for the politically stumped?
Anyway, OP. Sounds like you want to know the reason. It doesn't matter. I know that part of you wants to know because you want to improve on yourself or understand the other person's position but these are illusions...and it won't happen anyway. Even if she gave you the brutal truth, you'd probably be posting a thread about how rude someone was.
Do your best to move forward and hey, consider yourself fortunate that you actually had 3 dates! Some here can't even get one!
Good luck! | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 6:56:53 AM | ^^^^^^ Speaking of rude.
Someone pee in your cheerios?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=man+up
It was meant as having the nads to say the truth.
nads = another word for balls.
Take your pick of it's meaning.
All other words used can be found in Websters dictionary. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 7:04:15 AM | Sounds like she did YOU a favor. She's separated???? If you want someone just for yourself, a separated woman might now be the thing.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but don't come off as desperate enough to allow yourself to be treated any kind of way. If she already knew about the limp, she wouldn't have gone on dates 2 or 3.
And she IS damaged. Just because she's out here doesn't mean she's perfect--think about how ridiculous that sounds for a minute.
I say be glad you dodged a big ass bullet and move on. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 7:18:43 AM | 3 dates then poof?
To be perfectly honest my guess is somewhere in that the last date she took note of something that didnt fit for her and she felt bad over what ever it was. So, she makes up a story, taking the blame on herself to let you down easy.
Is it right? no ... but it's common. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 8:12:04 AM | Dear Nice guy #438476
She has a 90 day warranty where she doesnt even have to keep taking your calls. You met. She tried to get to know you. Something didnt fit. She was nice enough to tell you instead of ignoring the calls, mail and texts till you went away. That's called dating. Move on. Next contestant.
The story she told you was likely not true...she probably does want to be in a relationship...just not with you...but she doesnt know how to say it without hurting you. Or she might just really like the attention women get on here...either way she doesnt want to date you. Its really not personal...its about her having different needs. Its not your limp...its most likely a personality thing...or belief system...or you chewed with your mouth open...whatever.
Now you get to move on too.
Just my 2 cents
Miss Lori | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 1:14:59 PM | hi all. thanks for all of your opinions. to those who think this is a 'nice guy' thread. for the most part, my pals will say im obnoxious, funny, quiet, loud, great company, shit company. a bag of contradictions i know, but one thing im not and thats a 'nice guy'. i dislike that term coz no one is that nice that they dont have their own agendas going on in their head.
anyway, ive learnt a hard lesson with that gal. something ill keep in mind for future.
cheers. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 2:51:21 PM | Do not automaticly blame your limp. People that have some kind of abnormal thing always want to blame it on that. sometime it can be sometimes it's your standard garden variety of "just lost interest"
I once dated a lady that had something removed from her that was very personal and thought it made her less of a woman. It didn't. I realy enjoyed her company and her situation did not bother me one iota. But she becme so clingy, I had to call her 50 times a day a tell her something nice or I didn't care, and god help me if I missed 1 day. after a while I just couldn't keep that up and eventualy drifted apart.
What do you think she said caused it ? Bingo, I could not deal with her physical thing.
She could not have been wronger. But there was no explaining anything else to her. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 7:37:10 PM | | She probably just decided she wasn't interested and didn't want to hurt your feelings. At least she said something and didn't just ignore your calls. I wouldn't worry about it at all. You only had 3 dates, so move on and don't worry about her. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 11:41:28 PM | | 3 dates is still the "trying on for size" phase. weighing pros an cons, likes and dislikes. We all do it. you didnt fit. Thats all it is. How many shoes, or shirts or pants, or gosh, jobs, friends, houses, etc, do you try on? Im sure it was nothing personal against you. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 7:01:12 AM | | Don't waste your time over analyzing someone you went out with 3 times. It was her. She decided she did not want to date you, now you get the pleasure of finding someone better for you. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 7:31:53 AM | Her giving you all the reasons she was no longer interested dont matter. The end result is what matters. She is not interested.
Focus your positive energy of positive endeavors. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 9:54:50 AM |
when she said she didnt know if POF, dating wasnt for her, i kind of believed her. next thing i notice, shes online again. shes even online as i write this.
TRANSLATION: Online dating with YOU is not for me... | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 4:20:53 PM | OP:
This is a woman who cannot communicate honestly. She "fails at life", as the online meme goes. She's cowardly, immature, two-faced, and entirely unprepared for a meaningful, emotionally mature relationship. Be grateful that you're done with her. If you're upset at how she treated you, good. It means you have a sense of justice that's been tweaked because you were wronged. The problem is with her, not with you. This situation is her fault, not yours. She is the wrongdoer here, you are the wronged.
Take those upset, frustrated feelings, and internalize them. Use them as fuel. If in the period of self analysis this brings about you see things about yourself that you'd like to improve, then improve them with the energy that anger gives you. At the end of it, you're a better person, she's in the same pitiable condition she was already in, and you've moved on to better people more worth your time.
You're the treasure here, she isn't. Don't ever lose sight of this. If someone doesn't want to be with you, that's their fault. If they have to lie in order to break things off because they don't know how to do so like a mature adult, they're gutter trash barely worthy of the attention you, in your magnanimity, gave them. They should be thanking you for noticing such a pitiable wretch as them. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 5:48:27 PM | | baby take it from a older woman that was her way way have letting you know she wasnt interested in you period but i guess making her self feel ok about the way she was telling you let it go NEXT! | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 4:52:56 AM |
This is a woman who cannot communicate honestly. She "fails at life", as the online meme goes. She's cowardly, immature, two-faced, and entirely unprepared for a meaningful, emotionally mature relationship. Be grateful that you're done with her. If you're upset at how she treated you, good. It means you have a sense of justice that's been tweaked because you were wronged. The problem is with her, not with you. This situation is her fault, not yours. She is the wrongdoer here, you are the wronged.
Such an extremest don't you think. I was ONLY three dates and she didn't want to go further. Rather than face to face and get all the why why why questions and who the hell knows what ever .... she deceided to do it from the comfort and safety of her own home.
I would NEVER tell a person from on line to their face that I am not interested in them, there are too many nut bars here. You never know what they might say or do in public to cause a scene, or what ever.
If it upset him enough to write all about this then he would definately be pushy for reasons in public.
I think she was right to send a note.
Take the poster who wrote the above caption, imagine telling him in public that its a no go with him .... I would be pretrified. Such harsh harsh judgemental attituded I don't need in my life.
Savona | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 6:05:32 AM |
This is a woman who cannot communicate honestly. She "fails at life", as the online meme goes. She's cowardly, immature, two-faced, and entirely unprepared for a meaningful, emotionally mature relationship. Be grateful that you're done with her. If you're upset at how she treated you, good. It means you have a sense of justice that's been tweaked because you were wronged. The problem is with her, not with you. This situation is her fault, not yours. She is the wrongdoer here, you are the wronged.
Ok...How does telling someone that they dont want to go out with them again translate into being wronged???
I would be willing to bet that she cant put why she isnt interested into words. I have met many men and there is no glaringly obvious "thing" that puts me off, but there is "something" that isnt right for me.
Or, perhaps she has met a few men that seem to have the reaction like some of the posters on this thread, and is not prepared to have some relative stranger start making demands as to why she isnt feeling it..... | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 6:05:53 AM | Hi OP,
I think its pretty obvious she was letting you down as gently as she could.
There are many reasons why couples dont click so maybe its best just to thank her for the dates and wish her luck for the future and try and move on yourself.best wishes,
TI | |
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